How to quickly calm yourself in a stressful situation. How to calm down and pull yourself together in any situation: effective recommendations

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Anxiety occurs in various life situations: before or during some critical events, at the moment of anxious waiting, when communicating with people.

In this article, you will learn how to stop being nervous and how to control your nervousness.

Nervousness can be due to both physiological and psychological reasons.

Causes of nervousness and anxiety

Physiological causes occur when nervousness is caused by our physical health condition. For example, our level of fatigue can affect our level of nervousness. Nervousness can arise from hunger, lack of vitamins, lack of sleep.

The psychological causes of nervousness are related to the psychological state. Absence, pessimism, timidity, feelings of insecurity, fear of failure - all this can cause nervousness.

Very often, these two types of reasons appear together, which is why an integrated approach is needed to work with both reasons in order to stop being nervous.

It is important to understand that nervousness is caused by internal factors more than external conditions. Nervousness is our response to what is happening around us. And how we react is largely up to us.

That's why different people react differently to the same situation. Some become nervous when talking to a few people, while others remain calm when they have to make a presentation in front of a huge crowd.

Of course, there are situations that will make them both nervous. We can't always influence the triggering of these events, but we can improve what we have inside to change the response to the events outside world: stop being nervous and worrying over trifles.

You can't always avoid stressful situations. To do this, you will have to not go to work, not drive a car and not leave the house at all. Stress accompanies every human life, and there is no way to avoid it. Therefore, we will improve ourselves.

Some people may think that it is normal and natural to be nervous and anxious in front of people during important meetings. But this is not true: anxiety is not the norm. You can get rid of nervousness and feel much calmer in stressful situations.

This is the first thing you need to understand before moving on.

There's no point in being nervous

The second thing you need to understand is that there is no point in being embarrassed and nervous.

Although nervousness or anxiety and fear can manifest as defense mechanisms that make us react to potentially dangerous situations - most often they take on an absurd form.

So, for example, this happens when we are nervous in front of people or nervous before an interview. After all, these situations are not dangerous; so no need to worry!

Any person who is more collected, organized and his mind works better in those moments when he is calm and in control.

When we are nervous, it is difficult for us to concentrate and think. Our body begins to show unnecessary physical activity. If we go to an interview or some kind of meeting, it can get in the way. We may forget something important.

Constant and chronic nervousness is bad for health and is the cause of many diseases.

Anxiety does not give us anything; it only hinders our development. So we have to get rid of it and we can do it.

The practical part of the article will consist of several parts:

• Preparation - what you need to do to prepare your body for possible stress and be less nervous, for example, during an important meeting;
• Self-monitoring in real time - how to control yourself in real time stressful situation;
• Overcoming the consequences - how to calm down after stress;
• Preventive treatment - how to teach your body not to respond to stress.

If you are nervous before some important event or activity, then it is time to be prepared to prevent the negative impact of anxiety on the course of events. A more cool and focused person is more likely to succeed.

This applies to interviews, important meetings, negotiations, events, etc. What will you do if you can't pull yourself together before one of these events?

1. Don't be dramatic

If you're worried about something, very often that "something" is actually a small, harmless thing. Are you not being hired? So what? You will find another. Will you look funny in front of people? So what? Don't you care?

Consider each vital issue in some context of your entire life and a long period of time, and not in terms of immediate necessity. For example, you are worried that the person you like will refuse to meet you. So what? In a few months you will surely forget him and you will meet another person. If you fall in love with someone, it does not mean that he / she is the person of your whole life.

Try to think of situations that make you feel anxious. Try to think calmly and calmly. Many problems seem serious and significant at first glance, but if you analyze them, their significance disappears immediately.

Unexpected barking of dogs can scare you, but if you pull yourself together and assess the situation, it may turn out that the dog is on the other side of the iron fence, attached to the chain, and he is not barking at you at all.

It's the same with human problems: surprise can be confusing, but once you look closer, things get better than they first thought.

If you are unable to respond calmly to the subject of your worries (most likely it will be), and you are still worried, then do not think about the upcoming situation at all. Keep your mind off this. It's not all that simple: annoying thoughts will attack you again and again. Try not to become obsessed with these thoughts, switch to something else every time they occur.

The exercises below will help you overcome these difficulties. And remember, there is no point in being nervous. But telling yourself to calm down isn't always enough, because your body is still reacting to stress. So you have to work with your body.

2. Relax your whole body

Relaxed body = calm mind. Yoga methods are based on this principle. This truth has long been known - people who are calm, able to control themselves.

Try to direct your attention to the muscles and relax the tension in them. As a result, you will feel more calm and relaxed.

3. Eliminate nervous gestures

Stop pacing back and forth in nervous anticipation. Stop biting your nails, pulling your hair, smoking every 10 minutes - in short, stop doing involuntary things with your body when you are nervous.

Sit quietly and still, relax. Watch yourself.

4. Breathe in your belly

When people are nervous, they breathe from their chest. Thus, breathing increases, and becomes intermittent. In order to calm down, you should breathe smoothly into your belly at regular intervals. This technique is used in traditional medicine, as well as in ancient practices such as yoga. The so-called diaphragmatic breathing has long been proven effective.

After smoking a cigarette, the smoker feels relaxed, and not only because of the action of nicotine. He inhales and exhales slowly, so he stabilizes his breathing and he calms down.
Take advantage of this effect, but without cigarettes.

How to breathe with the diaphragm? Sitting in a quiet and motionless position, put your hand on your stomach (this is necessary for self-control). You must inhale and exhale at the same length of time. For example, inhale 5 seconds - exhale 5 seconds. You can hold your breath between inhalation and exhalation. Inhale - 5 seconds, hold your breath - 2 seconds, exhale - 5 seconds, hold your breath - 2 seconds.

Do exercises with or without delays - as you wish. The hand that rests on your stomach rises up and down in time with your movement of the abdomen, and the chest remains motionless. It is important!

When you learn to breathe with your belly, there will be no need to keep your hand on it.

Try to keep your attention on your breath and on the intervals between inhalation and exhalation. Do not be distracted by third-party thoughts and silently rely on yourself.

One session may last from 2 to 5 minutes, or may take longer, depending on your feelings.

This is very effective exercise, which always helps if you need to calm down and pull yourself together. Try doing this when you are tense, you will feel the instant relaxation that this simple practice gives you!

Self-control during the event

So everyone is looking at you. During an event, job interview, or meeting, it's not always possible to sit down, relax, and try to pull yourself together. You must speak and answer questions in a timely manner. What will you do in such situations?

1. Watch your facial expressions, gestures, intonation

Watch your body. Make sure your movements are smooth, the pace of speech is steady, and your facial muscles are relaxed. If you find yourself talking too fast or making too many sudden movements, stop yourself.

Your goal is to make sure that your appearance expresses complete calmness. inner peace creates the outer, and vice versa. The calmer your posture and facial expression, the calmer you are inside. Human emotions have a feedback loop with the body.

That is why people advise to smile more often: if a person tries to portray some emotions on his face, he begins to feel these emotions. You can check it yourself. Smile at someone!

Why should you take care of yourself? Because when you watch your body and its movements, and when you try to control them, you are paying close attention to what is going on inside you.

It's like you keep your mind from emotions by changing it to the position of an outside observer. it good way keep some distance between your true ego and the feeling in the moment. This allows you to stay focused and calm.

Some emotional storms may rage within you, but your mind will still be quiet. It may be difficult for those who have never experienced it to understand. But this ability comes with the practice of self-control.

2. Take your time

Haste never leads to good things. It can cause nervousness and scattered attention. Rushing at the time of the need to do something quickly, as a rule, does not have any positive effect on the speed of a specific task implementation.

When you are in a hurry, you start to fuss, switching abruptly from one subject to another. In this state, you can easily forget something and not finish something. This negatively affects the quality of the result.

Therefore, take your time, even if time is running out and someone is rushing you (this is done by those people who do not understand that there is no need to rush). Do everything at your natural speed: calm and collected.

Prepare carefully for your speech, do not rush to answer questions as soon as possible, your speech should not be very fast.

3. Overcoming the consequences

It's all over! Relax and don't overuse "if" ("if I spoke better", "if I didn't forget"). If you didn't manage to pull yourself together and were very worried despite your best efforts, don't be discouraged.

Self-control is not an easy task and requires long and hard work on yourself. Analyze your mistakes, but don't dwell on them.

Relax and calm your breathing. Diaphragmatic breathing will help you relieve nervous tension.

Preventive treatment

Even if you have learned to suppress attacks of nervousness, this is not enough. It would be better if you become less nervous at all. To do this, you must regularly carry out preventive measures.

1. Follow a sleep schedule

A constant lack of sleep has a bad effect on health and, in particular, on the nervous system. Make sure you get at least 8 hours of sleep every day. It is advisable to go to bed at the same time. Basic principle: regularity and duration. More than 8 hours of sleep is not recommended, also.

Sticking to a sleep schedule works wonders. It makes you more energetic, alert and increases your resistance to stress.

2. Eat healthy

Eat a balanced and varied diet. Your body needs to get the full spectrum of vitamins. Eat less fried and fast food. Eat more food that contains the necessary substances for your nervous system(magnesium, vitamin B, zinc, antioxidants): whole grains, nuts, various fruits and vegetables.

Drink more water. Dehydration can trigger stress.

3. Get fit

Move more and spend time on outdoors as much as possible. Try to take a break from your computer if you can. Go in for sports. Sport strengthens the body, relieves tension and stress.

4. Meditate

First, a meditation session helps you relax. Secondly, regular practice increases resistance to stress. This is why unruffled stillness has become the hallmark of the experienced yogi or experienced meditator.

Unlike yoga, you do not need an experienced instructor or a special place to start meditating. You can meditate anywhere. Learning the basics of meditation is easy, and even an inexperienced person can do it.

5. Get rid of bad habits

Although smoking and alcohol may calm you down for a short period of time, the substance contained in cigarettes, alcohol and other drugs negatively affects the nervous system.

The more and more often you use alcohol and other drugs, the more your body is exposed to stress in Everyday life. Do not abuse coffee! Caffeine triggers the release of stress hormones in the body.

6. Try not to create stressful situations yourself

For example, if you are preparing to take an exam, you do not need to worry and be nervous if you are well prepared and know the subject. You are calm, as there is no situation that could contribute to stress. Conversely, if you have not prepared well for the exam, you begin to worry and think that you will certainly come across the topic that you know the least.

Get ready for important meetings and negotiations so that you have no reason to blush. Think ahead and always have ready plan actions. Follow the plan.

An increasing number of men and women feel the need to be more balanced, want to learn how to stop being nervous and teach themselves to cope with negative emotions, how to change their attitude towards life from negative to positive.

Life modern people rich and dynamic. A person finds himself in negative, every day, there are many reasons for concern. But is excessive, unreasonable, disturbing anxiety and nervousness justified?

Nature has come up with a special defense mechanism - a sense of fear. Its derivatives are anxiety and restlessness. To survive, a person needs to be careful and attentive.

Instincts help to survive, society requires awareness of the individual and the ability to follow accepted norms, follow the rules of behavior. You need to be able to cope with natural negative experiences and emotions in order to be happy.

For some people, due to temperament and character, it is easier to remain cool and calm in negative situations, for others it is harder. Anxious, suspicious, insecure individuals worry and panic often, they simply don’t know how not to be nervous.

Every woman wants to be calm for her children, family. Every man wants to be calm for his work, financial stability, well-being.

People are nervous because they are afraid. Fear is normal. The main thing is to be able to distinguish between real reasons for concern from invented and ridiculous ones.

Self-mastery techniques

Solving the problem - how to stop being nervous right now - people often resort to sedatives in the form of drugs.

Medications help relieve symptoms, "calm" the nerves, but do not solve the problem, do not affect the cause of anxiety.

The reason lies in the person's perception of an exciting situation. The attitude of the individual to its negative aspects is important. How a person reacts to a difficulty determines whether it is experienced as a negative or positive situation and whether it will be a cause for concern and nervousness.

Any medication is dangerous to use without consulting a doctor, and self-help can be much more effective than medication.

When nervousness and anxiety are due to a specific negative situation, it is recommended:

• Visualization

Imagine yourself in a pleasant place on Earth - on the seashore or on the couch at home - all the same, the main thing is to feel the peace and comfort of this place.

This method is especially suitable for individuals with a developed imagination, imaginative thinking and fantasy. For example, a woman wants to be calm at work. She decorates her desktop with a photo of a pleasant place and admires it if there is a reason for concern.

Any physical activity (including screaming) relieves psychological stress. Throw out negative emotions on objects, not on people. Any safe object that can be hit, thrown, squeezed without harming health is fine.

For example, a punching bag as a means of expressing accumulated indignation is suitable for men. If a man manages to be calm in a stressful situation, then it does not hurt to express his negative experiences physically, since their accumulation can be harmful to physical and mental health.

If you wash your face, neck, hands with cool or cold water you can quickly calm down. cool reception drinking water It will also help balance the nervous system. At home, you can take a contrast shower or bath.

• Breath

Proper breathing is a universal answer to the question of how to stop being nervous for any reason.

Breathing exercises will help in any stressful situation. You need to inhale the air deeply and slowly through the nose, hold your breath for a couple of seconds and exhale noisily and quickly through the mouth. After five approaches, you need to take a break. This method will saturate the blood with oxygen, regulate the work of the brain.

Source Have a good mood, a way to saturate the body with oxygen and hormones of joy is sincere laughter. If a person can teach himself to smile through force for five minutes, his mood will improve - this is a fact. People with a sense of humor have their own recipe for nervousness, worries and anxieties, they know how to stop being nervous - to be able to laugh at problems. A positive attitude towards life improves its quality.

These are the "drugs" that help to quickly and effectively cope with nervousness! But these are concrete measures against temporary negative situations.

How not to be nervous at all? How to become a balanced person, whose emotions and experiences are always controlled by the mind? Read on!

Self-improvement is the key to peace of mind

There are people whose life is a continuous experience; as soon as one problem is solved, a new reason for unrest and negative experiences appears.

If you are nervous all the time, you can get a number of physical and mental diseases. neuroses and psychosomatic diseases is not uncommon these days.

A happy person is a harmonious and balanced mature personality. You need to be able to enjoy life, to be wise to look at the imperfection of the world around you. To achieve this goal, you need to learn how to stop being nervous, how to learn how to live with peace of mind.

Everyone can become a harmonious personality, but for this you will have to work hard and work on yourself.

Seven answers to the question of how to learn not to be nervous:

1. Live here and now, in the present tense. The past cannot be returned, and a happy future can only be created in the present moment. Worrying about what has passed is meaningless; worrying about what might be is a waste of energy. It is necessary to solve urgent, real problems, and not those that have remained in the past or exist only in an imaginary future.
2. . Uncertainty in oneself and one's abilities gives rise to many nervous disorders. People with low self-esteem are set to avoid failure rather than success; constantly worried that something might go wrong.
3. Accept your own imperfection and the imperfection of the outside world. Wisdom lies in this attitude to the world: the ability to distinguish between imperfections that a person can correct and those that cannot be changed. To love yourself without judgment is how to learn not to be nervous and not to react to the opinions of others.
4. Rational thinking. It is useful not to be nervous, but to think over the possible negative outcomes of crisis situations. If worrying about the future is justified, one should exercise foresight and think about the worst that could happen and how to act in this case. Such rational thinking will reduce nervousness and increase self-confidence. As long as a person is alive, there are practically no hopeless situations. Where there are no problems and cannot be, it is not worth looking for them.
5. Goal setting. An aimless existence calls into question everything possible and life itself. Correct setting of goals, confidence that the goal is achievable, will make life meaningful and organized. A well-set goal is specific, achievable, limited in time, has evaluation criteria.
6. Employment. When a person is busy with work, passion, hobbies, communication, active and interesting recreation, then anxious, negative thoughts and there is simply no place for nervousness. Boredom, laziness and pessimism contribute to the emergence of negative experiences. The world is full of beauty and joy, you just have to pay attention to them, visit nature more often, spend time with your loved ones, enjoy life.
7. Get rid of guilt. Some people do not understand how not to be nervous for loved ones, considering it a manifestation of love. The feeling of guilt for the events in the life of another person is someone else's responsibility transferred to oneself. Another person, even the closest one, is a separate person, he himself is responsible for his life. Negative experiences do not help, but harm, first of all, the person experiencing it.

Self-improvement helps to cope with many life's difficulties, growth and development of the individual harmonize both the inner and outer world.

How to work and not be nervous

Worrying about work, its results, success, career advancement seems to many people not only natural, but also necessary.

Employers appreciate diligent, active, ambitious workers. Employees often put work "at the forefront", forgetting about their personal lives. The higher the value of professional growth for a person, the more often he is nervous about work.

• remember that besides work there are other values ​​and personal life;
• understand the importance of maintaining health (another job can be found, but health is one);
• devote strictly allotted time to work;
• perform only their duties, do not take on someone else's work;
• do not enter into conflicts, adventures, intrigues, do not gossip;
• observe subordination, maintain only working relations;
• stop rushing, fussing, organize the working day competently;
• learn how to effectively solve emerging work issues;
• improve work skills and improve qualifications;
• alternate between work and leisure.

Work-related problems should not be transferred to personal life and family. It is not uncommon when a person offended at work takes out his anger on the household.

Such breakdowns are inevitably followed by remorse and guilt, as there is an awareness of the insignificance of the work in comparison with the value of close relationships.

How to deal with anxiety in your personal life

How to learn not to be nervous when you come home after work? How not to worry about loved ones and not worry if they do something wrong?

If we talk about parent-child relationships, then here we need to remember the child's right to freedom and independence in decision-making. From infancy, kids need the opportunity to do things their own way; this desire teaches independence and the ability to survive without parents already in adulthood.

Excessive care of mothers and fathers is more harmful than their indifference. If the parents are worried about the child all the time, he will constantly worry about himself when he grows up.

In youth, many people make mistakes, and in order to reduce their number, it is necessary to develop the personality of a teenager, and not endlessly limit and control him. Being a sufficiently mature person, he will not make stupid, illegal and irreparable mistakes.

If spouses / couples in love want to be less nervous for each other, you need to learn to trust. Loyalty, respect and understanding of the needs of the partner reduces the level negative emotions and experiences as a couple. Suspicion and excessive anxiety of only a partner, it becomes clear that there is no trust.

Husbands and wives are not children, they do not need to be educated, you can only help the individual grow and develop, inspire and encourage a person to independent work above oneself.

The relationship between a man and a woman in love should be built on mutual understanding, then there will be less unrest, cause for concern, quarrels and conflicts. Nervousness and anxiety over the development of relationships will not make them stronger. The harmony of living together is achieved by those spouses who do not get tired of working on relationships.

Everyone can cope with nervousness and become a more holistic, developed and harmonious personality!

In this article, I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to keep calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous at all, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters is that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you just worry about every little thing. It is important to understand that nervousness has, as psychological so physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experience, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a sense of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failing, looking inappropriate in front of people All this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. A necessary defense mechanism or a hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, there may be tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, I want to occupy my hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you out? Do they help you deal with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or talking on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is - of course not, and moreover, it can screw up the whole result.

Therefore, it is essential to be clear that a tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply some kind of mental mechanism fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why remove it? Because when you're nervous:

• Your thinking ability is reduced and you find it harder to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires the utmost mental resources
• You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or a date
• Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.
• If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases(meanwhile, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
• You worry about the little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life
• Are you exposed bad habits: , alcohol, as you need something to relieve tension

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

• Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
• You can get rid of it by working on yourself
• In everyday life, there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You have to set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and it's real!

Don't think that I'm just arguing about something I have no idea myself. All my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24 I experienced great. I could not pull myself together in stressful situations, worried about every little thing, even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges, “panic attacks”, dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, it’s impossible to say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but anyway, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I'm on the right track and there are dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and only tell about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result personal problems I wouldn’t have started to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous for any reason?

Think about all those events that plunge you into nervousness: your boss calls, you pass an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a fight on public transport or on the road in a lifetime, and is it terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distract from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into real trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This mindset helps a lot. stop worrying about everything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our ingenuity, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for your dream job, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize what's ahead of you significant event, but no matter how significant it is, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not to worry arises. This is too much of a responsibility to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be focused and focused and will do my best for this!

Now we bring thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

The simplest breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

• inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
• hold your breath 2 counts/beats
• exhale for 4 counts/beats
• hold breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Only you need to breathe with the diaphragm, that is, the stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into calmness.

During the exercise, we keep our attention only on the breath! There must be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice, breathing practice helps not only to relax you here and now, but also in general. puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing at the end of this article. In the video, I talk about how to deal with panic with the help of breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are ready. But the time has come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4

Show calm: even if neither the emotional mood nor the breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your current state. The expression of outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were previously in bad mood. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the more relaxed you want to seem, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Are your eyes not running? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them go astray and take you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Pull in your hands ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Do you tie the big toe and little toe of your left foot into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in a chair, we do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

Take your time: haste, fuss always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, do not rush even if you are late for a meeting. Since any haste very quickly knocks down composure and a calm attitude. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, better save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, riding in transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you are in a hurry, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's actually all. All these principles complement each other and can be summed up in the call " look after yourself". The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with an answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. You don't have to try to impress in every possible way, you will impress if you do it right and don't worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgot and move on.

Lesson 5. Calming down after a meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. All the same principles work here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, but if I spoke like this and not like that, oh, how stupid I looked there, oh, I'm a fool, but if ...! Just get rid of all thoughts from your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You should not create reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

When I studied at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. Often went to retakes. As a result, during the session, I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic amount of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that’s how much everything had piled up, how hard it was, eh ... Although it was my own fault if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and that I would be taken into the army if I I won’t hand over something, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I'm talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, and preferably a few! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of rest. And the next thing I will talk about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop being nervous. These methods are focused on the long term, they will make you less stressed in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

• Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. It is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I won't dwell on it.
• Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of measures that support recovery (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy mind in a healthy body: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
• Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.
Diaphragmatic breathing during a panic attack

Chronic nervous tension is a companion of our time. We are constantly nervous and worried about something in our lives: about ourselves and about our future, about relatives, relatives, children, about work, about money and many others, not always important things. A lot of disturbing thoughts run through your head every day, causing constant stress. Many are in nervous tension, not even realizing the real reason for their anxiety. Therefore, in this article we will talk about how to calm down when you are very nervous, how to find harmony and inner peace.

Anxiety and anxiety are natural, and even useful tool, with which our body informs us about external threats. That is why the fight against stress is often not effective. Unfortunately, there is no one universal technique or “not to be nervous” switch. What works great for keeping calm for some people, for others, is completely ineffective. Therefore, try and choose exactly the method that will help you calm down and not be nervous for you.

Exercise "square breathing"

Helps to cope with anxiety and excitement, it is easy to move from a negative to a neutral, calm state. The square breathing technique can be used if you are very nervous before meetings, important negotiations, public speaking, exams. The exercise is very simple, everyone can do it, and does not require special training, it is performed in 4 steps:

• take a breath and at the same time count to yourself: “one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four ...” (as it is more comfortable)
• Hold your breath for a count of one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...
• Now exhale to the count of one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...
• now hold your breath again, counting one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...

Scheme of square breathing: inhale (4 sec) - hold the breath (4 sec) - exhale (4 sec) - hold (4 sec) - repeat from the beginning. Moreover, the duration of inhalation-exhalation can be selected individually, it can be 4 seconds, maybe more - 6-8 seconds, or less, the main thing is that it is comfortable to perform the exercise.

Diaphragmatic breathing

When a person is worried, nervous, his breathing becomes rapid and intermittent (a person breathes from the chest). A little explanation: there are several types of breathing. Most people expand the middle part of the sternum when they breathe. This is chest breathing. If breathing is carried out by the upper part of the sternum - high costal breathing. However, more useful and effective for calming and relaxing is diaphragmatic breathing, that is, breathing with the participation of the diaphragm, breathing with the stomach. In order to calm down and get rid of stress, we take a deep breath, absorbing a large volume of air, and then exhale it slowly. This is called very deep breathing. Such for many will be an effective tool for excitement and nervousness. In order to learn to breathe with the diaphragm, you must adhere to the following recommendations:

1. Lie on your back and place a book on your stomach. It is necessary to breathe so that the book rises from the breath.
2. Sit in a comfortable position, straighten your posture and lower your right hand on your stomach, and put your left hand on your chest. Breathe in such a way that only the right hand moves.
3. It is desirable that the inhalation and exhalation be equal in time. For this, it is most convenient to count the beats of your heart. 4-6 strokes inhale - the same exhale.
4. To enhance the effect, you can repeat the affirmation to yourself: “With every breath I relax, with every exhalation I smile”

"Byaka-zakalyaka"

The technique is simple, but very effective in the fight not only with excitement, but with other negative emotions and experiences. It can be attributed to art therapy, and the implementation takes from 5 to 15 minutes. Instructions:

• take a pen or pencil, a sheet of clean paper, or rather several at once, because with strong emotions one may not be enough.
• as a rule, excitement is physically felt in a specific part of the body: in the chest, in the abdomen, in the head, in the form of spasms, clamps, or simply indefinite discomfort, i.e. you need to determine the localization of your destructive emotion;
• mentally give yourself the setting that all the excitement through your hands goes to paper, leaves your body, and does not return; there are no strict recommendations here, everything is done in an arbitrary form, as you like it better;
• you just start to drive a pencil or pen on paper without controlling your movements. If you do everything right, the hand itself will begin to draw all sorts of lines, “bad-hards”, write out all sorts of pretzels; do until you feel relieved, until you get the feeling that enough is enough (if one sheet is hardened, feel free to take the next one);
• then you need to get rid of the painted “masterpiece” in any convenient way: you can tear it into small pieces and flush it down the toilet, you can burn it and scatter the ashes in the wind, crush, trample and send it to the trash can, or come up with your own way - the main thing is to get rid of your “negative creations."
• enjoy the relief, it usually comes fairly quickly.

This technique is quite versatile, with its help you can get rid of excitement, irritation, resentment, worries, any stress. For a longer-term effect, you need to repeat more often.

Contact with water

One of the simplest and available ways calm down, especially if you are very nervous and worried - this is any contact with water. Scientists have long noted that the noise and contemplation of running, flowing water, the sound of waves soothes, relieves fatigue, promotes deep relaxation. So, if you need to calm down quickly, you need to:

• drink a glass of plain water in small sips - unbelievable, but it helps;
• go to the bathroom, turn on the water, hold your hands under running water, for as long as possible;
• wash the dishes, the floor, anything else;

When there is a little more time:

• take a shower, the most effective contrast;
• take a bath with hydromassage, if possible;
• go to the pool, to the lake, swim (double effect: the calming effect of water + physical activity);
• go out into nature, sit by the stream, by the river, look at the water.
• walk in the rain without an umbrella; not suitable for everyone, because there is a danger of catching a cold, but the effect is amazing. Whoever accidentally gets wet in the rain knows that then you come home, and your heart is joyful, it is not clear why, problems fade into the background, just like in childhood, when you got into a puddle up to your ankles, and you are satisfied ...

During physical activity, certain chemicals are released in the body, which explains the usefulness of physical activity for the mental state of a person. These chemicals include endorphins. Their action is similar to that of opiates - they dull pain and induce a state of calm and tranquility. Another substance - dopamine is an antidepressant, also produced by the body during physical activity. Improving the psychological state thanks to physical activity based on a physiological basis, and this is a scientific fact.

The positive effect persists for several hours after the “physical exercise”, or rather after the “after physical exercise”. Most available species motor activity:

• general cleaning of the apartment;
• hand washing, washing floors, windows;
• dancing;
• yoga practice;
• walking, running, cycling.

Meditation

Meditation techniques are the most popular and easy to master. They have been studied enough in terms of relaxation and a positive effect on physical and psychological health.

Many people think that meditation takes a long time and don't even try it. effective method. Here are some of the shortest and most effective meditations that will help you quickly calm down and not be nervous.

Exercise: track your own thoughts

Find a quiet place where no one will disturb you, close your eyes. For 5 to 10 minutes, just observe the thoughts that come to your mind. At the same time, the main thing is not to do anything, not to strain (even mentally) - you just need to observe. Allow your thoughts to simply come and go, without any evaluation of what is happening. Most likely, there will be complete confusion and a mess in your head, a heap of sensations, memories, situations, assessments, your own and other people's statements. This is fine.

Already after the first minutes of this exercise, you will notice that thoughts slow down, you become more calm. For a certain moment you abstract from everything, you become just an observer. After a while, you will begin to notice that there are small pauses between thoughts. During these periods of thoughtlessness, you can experience real peace and tranquility.

Calm Reflex Technique

This technique was proposed by psychologist Charles Strebel. The author claims that this technique allows you to relax very quickly, with systematic training in 6 seconds. So, the technique itself:

• Focus on what's bothering you.
• Smile to yourself. This will help relieve tension from the muscles of the face.
• Say to yourself: “My body is relaxed and my mind is actively awake.”
• Breathe in easily and calmly.
• When exhaling, relax and lower the lower jaw - when correct execution upper and lower teeth should not touch
• Imagine how heaviness and warmth spread through your body from the top of your head to your heels.

Method "Instant calm"

1. Continuous breathing. Despite the appearance of excitement, continue to breathe calmly, evenly and deeply.
2. Positive facial expression. As soon as you feel that you are starting to get nervous, smile slightly.
3. Appearance. Imagine that you are being lifted by a string - straighten your chest, stretch your neck, lift your chin.
4. Send a wave of relaxation to tense parts of the body.
5. Soberly assess the situation, tell yourself: “Everything that is happening now is real, and I will find the best solution”

Meditative Breathing: Basic Exercise

The technique of pure observation of one's breathing is simple and effective at the same time, does not require special skills, the state of relaxation and calm comes quickly, in a few minutes. Close your eyes, get comfortable, and just watch your breath. You should not strain, try to influence the rhythm or depth of breathing - just watch. Concentrate on how the air enters the lungs through the nostrils - then exits back. Inhale - exhale. This is the simplest technique applicable in almost any situation. After a while, you will be able to notice how your breathing becomes slower and calmer. The more consciously and attentively you observe your breathing, the faster you will feel calm.

Hello dear readers. Some people are able to react calmly enough to many serious problems, solving them with a straight face. Well, we can only envy them, because sometimes even small domestic problems can unsettle us. But, of course, we do not "explode" over trifles. This reaction occurs because over time we accumulate too many negative emotions in ourselves, which we tried not to show. But it brings us to a state where “nerves can’t stand it” is the very “last straw”, which most often can hardly be called a problem. It is from this moment that the period may begin when you will be nervous for any, even the most frivolous, reason. Naturally, often repeated events eventually turn into a habit that a person is not able to get rid of on his own.

If you have already formed such a habit, then you urgently need to get rid of it. Frequent experiences not only spoil our lives, but also affect our health, which in many cases becomes the cause of oncological diseases.

In general, the problem is quite solvable, but in order to cope with it, you need to familiarize yourself with some recommendations.

Constantly feeling anxiety of fear - how to get rid of, consequences

We can be nervous for absolutely any reason, ranging from problems at work, and ending with minor domestic troubles. It's one thing when there is a serious enough reason to worry, but when a person is nervous because of simple communication with another a stranger, then this already indicates the presence of a problem.

A small nervous burst, for example, before the presentation of a project, is a normal reaction of our nervous system. Over time, a person gets rid of his fears, which means that there are no more reasons to be nervous.

If a person develops as a person, then over time he gains self-confidence, so he will no longer worry about what other people think of him. It should be concluded that only self-confident people can calmly relate to the problems that have arisen.

But not every person can boast of such calmness, so we need to figure out how to stop being nervous after all?

Experiencing absolutely for any reason, we, it turns out, waste our energy, which just could help us realize ourselves in life. And so, we spend our strength on coping with ourselves in a separate situation.

As a result, we can lose control over our lives, which can lead to quite unpleasant consequences, which you simply do not have enough strength to cope with.

1. Acquisition of an addiction that creates the illusion that the problem has disappeared, making you forget about its existence for a while. We are talking about alcohol, smoking, as well as the use of various psychotropic drugs.

2. Refusal to achieve the set goals. Usually, problems confuse a person, and constant worries only further undermine him. As a result, a person loses the taste of life, and simply gives up.

3. Decreased mental performance. Being in a state of stress, a person tries to mentally abstract himself from the problem that has arisen, which means that he is not able to think clearly. Severe stress can lead to temporary mental retardation.

4. Chronic fatigue. The presence of any problem that causes sufficiently serious feelings burdens a person. Even a full sleep is not able to fully restore strength, which is why he feels tired even at the beginning of the day.

5. Loss of emotional control. If something “bites” you for a long period, and you are always nervous because of this, then, sooner or later, all this will result in one big emotional explosion. This is especially true for people who are not accustomed to sharing their experiences with anyone.

Analyze your fears

As we have already understood, the feeling of discomfort arises precisely because of self-doubt, which is precisely what fear generates. Accordingly, in order to stop being nervous, we need to understand our own fears that prevent us from realizing ourselves.

Therefore, we need to try to identify our fears in order to acknowledge them, and eventually get rid of them. One method will help us to identify our own fears.

So, we need a simple sheet of paper on which we will draw two columns. In the first one, you should write the problems that you are quite capable of handling. In another part of the sheet, you need to list those life problems that you can't solve. If everything is clear with the first column, because you know how to solve the problems that have arisen, then for “unsolvable” problems you need to try to find a solution.

You should try to compose detailed plan solving a specific problem, at least on paper, and then you will see that not everything is as complicated as it might seem. But writing on paper alone is not enough, so you still have to put in a little effort so that this problem no longer makes you worry about it.

If the solution to some problems does not depend on you, then what is the point in worrying about it at all? You can worry if you really can influence the course of events, but for some reason do not do it.

Such an analysis will help you learn to distinguish real problems from far-fetched ones, as well as find solutions for them.

Remember childhood

Many psychological problems of adults stretch from childhood, which a person sometimes does not even realize. Therefore, you should think about the fact that the reason for your constant experiences lies in your past.

As a rule, children's fears develop into insecurity over time, which is why a person, in fact, is nervous. Quite often, parents, trying to motivate a child, compare him with other children. As a result, the child believes that he is somehow worse than others, and he has to live with this psychological trauma all his life.

How to deal with this problem? You are no longer a child, so you must understand that all people are different. And every person has both disadvantages and advantages. We must also remember our positive aspects, as often the focus is only on the negative.

Day of rest

If you have already turned to the Internet with the question “How to stop being nervous for any reason and become calm?”, Then this can only mean one thing - you need a rest. Do not forget that every person needs not only physical rest, but also psychological. So arrange for yourself a whole day of rest, forgetting about everything that bothered you before.

Such a discharge will only benefit you, and perhaps it will help you see the solution to the problem. Psychologists recommend during this day to do only those things that bring you pleasure.

1. Forget about your responsibilities. To do this, you should take one day off work at the expense of vacation. If you have children, then you can send them to visit their grandmother for a day. That is, you need to spend this day in an unusual way for you, fencing yourself off from everyday problems. The best option will be a short trip.

2. Take a bath. On a rest day, you have nowhere to rush, so you can afford to wake up at any time and take a relaxing bath right in the morning. Hot water It will help your body to relax, which can also relax you mentally. Do so, throwing all unnecessary thoughts out of your head. Add your favorite herbs and oils to your bath.

3. Arrange a meeting with friends for a cup of tea or coffee. Of course, coffee cannot be called a relaxing drink, because it only stimulates nervousness. But, the effect of this drink also depends on your mood. Therefore, drinking a cup of coffee in the company of friends will only benefit you.

4. Do what you love for which you often simply do not have enough time. Love to draw? Take out the canvas and paints from the closet - and go ahead. If you are doing what you really enjoy, then you will not feel tired.

5. Cook something tasty. Food always helps to cope with stress, so sometimes it’s even good to treat yourself to some unusual dish. But do not overdo it, enjoying a delicacy and overeating are two different things.

6. Watch a movie. Your goal is to relax. Therefore, the film must be selected appropriate. Do not watch a drama or a thriller, but let it be a light and kind comedy.

How to stop being nervous for any reason and become calm?

Not every person can afford to have a whole day of rest, so you have to look for other ways to relax. And even if you managed to escape from the daily routine, this does not mean that bad thoughts won't overtake you.

1. Protect yourself from the source of stress

Take a break from the situation at least for a few minutes. Crash at work? Take a five-minute break for yourself, during which you can put your thoughts in order. So, you will not only get rid of nervousness, but also gain new strength for work.

Sometimes it is helpful to look at a problem through the eyes of a complete stranger. Try to push your emotions into the background and try to figure out the cause of the emotional outburst. Just ask yourself, what is the cause of your worries? Only in this way can you begin to act towards solving the problem.

3. Speak your problem out loud

You will need an interlocutor whom you completely and completely trust. It is best to talk with someone from the family members, because only native person able to listen patiently. In addition, you will not only feel relieved that you shared your problem with another person, but you will also be able to analyze it.

4. Smile

A serious, tense face is unlikely to help you relax, so start solving the problem with a smile. In this way, you set yourself up for the positive, which will only help you cope with stress.

5. Direct your negative energy in the right direction

If you feel angry or resentful, then this does not mean that you need to fight in hysterics or immediately get into a fight to get a discharge. Just go in for sports. Believe me, physical exercises will physically exhaust you so much that you will forget about any problems there.

How to make your daily routine

If you are nervous before a certain event for which you are not psychologically ready yet, then you need to try to collect your thoughts. Some recommendations of psychologists will help you tune in the right way:

Prepare yourself a delicious breakfast

Let your day start with your favorite yummy that always lifts your spirits. It is desirable that breakfast contains glucose, which will energize you for the whole day.

Do exercises

Of course, no one wants to strain in the morning, but believe me, after a few exercises you will feel cheerful. Sports also have a positive effect on our mood.

digress

Empty experiences will certainly not help you, so try to distract yourself with some activity. Listen to your favorite song or just think of something that makes you happy.

use water

It not only helps us to cleanse ourselves of everything negative, but also charges us with positive energy. It doesn't matter what you do, take a bath or wash dishes, the main thing is that you are in contact with water.

Always look for the positives

In any situation, even the most difficult, there are positive sides. That is, if you can no longer influence the situation, then you just have to change your attitude towards it.

Count to ten

If you feel that you cannot control your emotions, then you should take a deep breath and count from one to ten. This method will help to avoid conflicts and nervous breakdowns.

Write a letter

Sometimes it can be very difficult for us to cope with the problems that arise, which is why we are nervous. We are completely unaware that our experiences will not solve the problem, and in this way we only harm our health.

There is always a way out of any situation, and it is more profitable for you to spend your energy on finding this way out than on useless experiences that will not lead to anything good. Therefore, learn to arrange small breaks for yourself when you can take a break from all problems, relaxing in a hot bath with aromatic herbs, for example.

Each person chooses for himself ways to help him relax, so for each they will be different. Give yourself one full day off when you can devote time only to yourself. Sometimes "doing nothing" can be very useful, if not abused, of course.