1. Smile. After all, any communication started with a smile already wins a person over to you. With a smile, you show that you are sincere and open for a productive dialogue. It is worth mentioning that even in a conversation on the phone one can feel a smile.
2. There is something to talk about with any person. It is necessary to determine what interests a person, and start a conversation on this topic. There are very few people who are not interested in anything. In any case, we can talk about this man himself. Show attention to him, show sincere interest, and you will find many topics for conversation later.
3. If you are not understood, it means that you did not express yourself correctly and clearly enough. Build your speech so that the interlocutor is very clear. Then you will stop getting annoyed and angry at a person who did not understand you or misunderstood you.
4. Give compliments. Feel free to show yourself as a positive person and cheer up the people around you. Remember that compliments must come from the heart. Blatant flattery will only push people away from you. However, do not be afraid to praise someone who did a great job. Thank those who have a good joke . Give a compliment to someone who is stylishly dressed. But we must not forget that everything should be in moderation.
5. Reception of active listening. You will show in such a way that you hear the interlocutor and understand what the conversation is about. Look at the person with whom you are talking, nod your head, comment on his story, but do not interrupt. You can help find the necessary words and phrases when the interlocutor stumbles, ask questions, continue the thought. This will let you know that you are interested in the person. And this will cause a desire to continue communicating with you.
6. Try to call the person you are talking to by their first name more often. Psychologists have proven that sound own name- the most pleasant and sweet sound for the human ear. After all, a name is given to a person at birth and he carries it throughout his long life.
7. Speak clearly and simply. Even if both you and your interlocutor have several higher educations, do not use complex scientific terms and phrases in a conversation. There is no need to try to give yourself some dubious status by the form of an abstruse conversation. Any clever man will still understand how smart or stupid you are.
8. Do not interrupt the interlocutor and do not give advice that you are not asked for. Listen to the person until the end, and then comment on his words. This will show that you are interested in talking to him. By interrupting, you show your bad manners. If you have a desire to give unsolicited advice, suppress this desire. Otherwise, the person will think that you consider yourself smarter than him, and this is an obstacle to successful communication.
9. The conversation should be interesting for you. If you have to keep up a conversation about something that you are not interested in, try to delve into the topic of the conversation. Otherwise, a person, not feeling feedback, end the conversation.
10. Remove the pronoun "I" from the conversation. Everyone knows that all people by nature are selfish. And, as a rule, everyone wants to hear mostly about themselves. But this approach to communication is wrong. Try to use other shades of statements instead of combinations with the pronoun "I". For example, instead of "I want" to say: "I want" or "I would like to." This will slightly change your speech and to you.
A good interlocutor can be a person who is interested in the most various areas life, from fashion and style, to hunting and fishing. If there is no thirst for new knowledge, curiosity, interest in life in all its vivid manifestations, then it is quite difficult to become a good conversationalist. After all, only by showing interest in the interlocutor, maintaining a conversation on any topic, showing your disposition towards him, you thereby form interest and great attitude to yourself.
How to interest the interlocutor? How to become interesting in a conversation? How to attract people and be able to communicate with any interlocutor? We will talk about all this in our article.
If you want to be interesting to the interlocutor - talk to him about what he is interested in, copy his demeanor and be like him. After all, people like interlocutors who have similar interests - this is a simple theory that everyone can understand. And really, what's so difficult about that?
But, as often happens, in theory one thing comes out, but in practice - quite another. Not all people can find common interests and common topics for communication, and simply do not always understand the topic that the interlocutor is talking about. Therefore, if you suddenly have such a problem, below are a few practical advice in order not to be a boring person and to interest the interlocutor in a conversation.
1. Your interlocutor's area of interest consists of several categories: "people", "place", "time", "values", "process", "things". Usually people have a few favorite things they like to talk about, and the rest are not of particular interest to them.
2. In order to be interesting to the interlocutor, it will be useful to determine those categories that are of interest to him. To do this, listen to what the interlocutor is saying if you have not started a conversation yet, or alternatively, unobtrusively take an interest in his interests, try to prove to him your similarities and find common ground.
3. In a conversation, try to determine the character of your interlocutor (just do not succumb to first impressions) and his mood at the current moment. This will help you avoid conflicts and making yourself look bad.
4. It is better to imagine your shortcomings as a continuation of your virtues, emphasizing them unobtrusively, even with humor. This will help you not to scare away a person and create a positive image of you as a person who does not hide his shortcomings, but does not flaunt them either.
5. For a better understanding in practice, it is also worth getting to know each type of people individually in order to determine the type of interlocutor in time and adapt to it.
So let's go:
1. An interlocutor who is interested in people will first of all talk about the environment, some personalities. It is important for him who he communicates with, how they communicate with him and what his environment is like. He likes to express opinions about other people.
2. An interlocutor who is interested in a place is primarily interested in the space in which he is located, and the things that surround him. He may have traveled a lot and likes to talk about his favorite sights and places in your city.
3. An interlocutor who is interested in time will, oddly enough, be interested in time and timing. Everything related to the passage of time is his forte. Maybe you will hear in the conversation his last story about how he left the house late and was almost late for work, or nostalgia for the old time in which he lived.
4. An interlocutor who is interested in values will tell you about his view of the world and, perhaps, compare them with others. He can both act in his own way, if he values \u200b\u200bpersonal freedom, and do unpleasant work because "it is necessary." Usually such people look at the world pragmatically, looking for some benefit in everything, for themselves and, perhaps, others.
5. An interlocutor who is interested in the execution process and the sequence of execution will ask you not about what he needs to do, but HOW he should do it. He can have good collation and analysis skills, and sort things out step by step. In addition, keep in mind that for most people, the pleasure and emotions received from doing a task also matter.
6. An interlocutor who is interested in objects will pay attention to the objects around him. He will certainly pay attention to where the TV is and what kind of TV it is, in his speech you can often hear the names of any things, perhaps not only material, but also spiritual.
It is worth noting that the interests of people can be combinations, and you will not find a completely pure type anywhere.
And main advice which can be given in this article - more practice and own experience. Use the theoretical knowledge you get, but draw your own conclusions.
My man told me that there is nothing to talk about with me. He is very well read and versatile person, but I can’t get a job and have been sitting at home for 1.5 years. My life has become boring and uninteresting, nothing happens in it. Tell me how to change how to become interesting for a man?Yes, it's very frustrating to realize that you are not interested in your beloved. Especially if he says it openly and starts avoiding communication with you. If this alarm bell rings, you It's time to change something in your life.
Now, so be it, back to the man! How not to be boring specifically for him? A few simple tips from women's site:
Change your appearance and change your behavior
Yes, men love variety! It is a fact! Don't be afraid to experiment: change your hair color, change your style of dress, change your hobbies and even change ! Transform from passionate mistresses into a cozy hostess with fragrant pies in the kitchen. From the cold impregnable queens into a small admiring girl. The main thing:
1) Don't change too fast so that the man has time to figure out what's what!
2) Don't step over your desires in pursuit of the result, otherwise your changes will be feigned and unnatural.
Be erudite, constantly develop
If you have higher education- you, of course, well done. But life doesn't end there! No constant flow useful information the brain will relax. try hard all the time to learn something new and interesting. How?
1) Read good old books.
2) Track
My clients often ask me about how to be an interesting companion for a man. The answer is simple - ask questions and learn to listen with interest to the answer. The question has amazing property to concentrate the brain in the direction of the answer, launches such a mental search engine.
This means that attention is focused, firstly, on the topic of conversation, and secondly, on the personality of the person who is asked the question - after all, before answering, we subconsciously evaluate who we will answer. In the first case, you need to direct your thought in the right direction for you.
For example, if you want to be a Holiday for a man, talk to him about the holidays, but if you want relationships, love, talk to him about love. Better ask. Don't be afraid to be too curious - people like to talk about themselves and remember pleasant things. And let his interest and attention, recreated pleasant emotions, be associated in his mind with your person - this will benefit your relationship.
The second benefit of asking questions is information that you can use to understand whether you need such a partner or not. By the way, try to pay attention not only to what your partner says, but also to how he says it. In fact, a person often and a lot talks about himself - we just don’t want or don’t know how to analyze information, we prefer to live in illusions, and we are focused on our person during the dialogue. Although timely attentiveness could prevent both small disappointments and big tragedies in our personal lives.
Most best time for questions, this is a period of flirting, courtship. This is the time of the very beginning of a relationship, when it is better to keep your ears open, and not to rush to open your heart to a stranger. Ask with a share of childish spontaneity, sometimes in a playful tone, easily - and analyze. Get to know him better with the help of prepared questions that you can simply choose from the collection below and learn the basics of active listening. Everyone likes people who talk to us about us))
- What is "freedom" for you?
- I wonder by what signs a woman can find out that a man likes her?
- I wonder how a man understands that a woman likes him?
- Is it true that men prefer weak (strong) women?
- I wonder what was the best thing you did for your woman?
- Interesting, how do you relax?
- Interesting, how do you have fun?
- How often do you fall in love?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- What is the first thing you pay attention to when meeting the opposite sex?
- Who can you say that he or she is “the love of my life”?
- Would you like to change your gender even for a day? Who would you like to be then? What would you do?
- Who did you have the longest relationship with?
- What's the best gift you've received from a partner?
- What clothes do you find sexy?
- What is "pleasure" for you?
- What is the most valuable thing in life for you?
- What's your favorite love story?
- What is your favorite love song?
- What's your favorite love movie?
- What is the best thing about marriage?
- Can you be happy just because your partner is happy?
- What is more important to you: the process or the result?
- I wonder what a man looks for in a woman first of all?
- When was the relationship perfectly happy?
- With which famous person would you like to have a sexual relationship?
- Do you consider yourself a romantic?
- How would you like your partner to show their love?
- Describe your ideal marriage. How does a day go in such marriages?
- What is love?
- Should there be a law punishing unfaithful lovers?
- Why do people try to change each other?
- What kind of people do you love?
- Describe how you felt when you first fell in love?
- Name two qualities that do not attract you to the members of the opposite sex? Attract?
- What is your idea of an ideal man/woman?
- What important lesson have you learned from past relationships?
- Who do you think is the most romantic couple in world history, in books, movies?
- Describe your ideal partner.
- What kind of weather do you find the most romantic?
- Who was the last person to say "I love you" to you?
- What kindles the fire in you, and what extinguishes?
- What characterizes a good marriage?
- What love lesson from your experience do you remember for a long time?
- What are three things you love to do with your partner?
An exercise
Choose 5 questions you like from the list. Ask them in the near future in a conversation with a man. Track the reaction.
What conclusions do you come to? Then the next five...
In relationships with girls, eloquence has always played a significant role. Sometimes relationships were created or, conversely, destroyed because of a person's ability to communicate. Communication is important not only with the opposite sex, but also with other people, especially when you want to make contacts with them or get a joint job. The male site site will lead 10 rules that will help you make contacts and become interesting interlocutor.
Has it ever happened to you that you communicate with a person, but he causes you some discomfort? It seems that he is outwardly attractive, does not say bad words, but something repels him. You naturally want to stop communicating with him as soon as possible.
However, there are people who do not have bright beauty and great knowledge, but it is so easy and fun to communicate with them that you don’t want to stop meeting. It seems that the person is not to your taste. It seems that he does not tell any truths and hidden information. However, it is so pleasant to communicate with him that you do not want to break away.
With each century, the ability of a person to communicate well with people around him becomes the main priority and a step towards. A lot of people say that you need to be well connected to be successful. However, in order to have these good connections you need to be able to be a pleasant and interesting conversationalist. And this is an axiom both in the field of work, business, and in love.
How to arrange an interlocutor?
Tell the person: “I understand you!” - and he will want to continue to communicate with you and continue. Many people ask themselves the question: “How to win over the interlocutor?”. There is nothing easier than just letting him be right even when you disagree with him. Everyone thinks their opinion is the only correct one. Your opinion can be just as wrong as the other person's thoughts. Why argue about who is right and wrong? You can just let everyone be right to begin with! Thus, you win over anyone, because everyone wants to be right.
People don't need much. Give them understanding. When a person is understood, they do not try to argue and convince, then he relaxes and is imbued with gratitude to the interlocutor. You don't have to take someone else's point of view. If you think otherwise, then you have the right to remain with your opinion if it seems to you more correct. If the interlocutor speaks reasonable words, you can correct your opinion. But be that as it may, no matter what you do with your point of view, tell the interlocutor: “I understand you!”.
Understanding does not mean agreeing. To understand means to accept the right to the existence of someone else's opinion, no matter how erroneous and incorrect it may be. When a person feels that you "accept" him, then he will relax. He may even want to hear your thoughts and ask about them. Perhaps he will continue to talk about the topic of the conversation that you are having, and come to a broader understanding of the issue. Give understanding to the other person. This will allow not only to win over the interlocutor to yourself, but also to calm him down, prompting him to look at the issue more broadly.
Often people do not understand each other, or rather, do not want to accept other people's points of view, because they have their own opinion, which they consider to be more correct. But the argument begins where the interlocutors begin to fight for whose opinion is the most correct, right? Why start a fight when you can avoid it? Accept the right to the existence of someone else's opinion, tell the interlocutor about it, even if your thoughts do not change from this. It is not necessary to fight for the correctness of someone's point of view. You can just listen to what the other person thinks and draw your own conclusions. It is not always necessary to convince someone. The other person has the right to be wrong. Life will put him in his place if he is really wrong. You can make mistakes, just like your interlocutor. And no one, except life itself, will convince you of this. That is why many people, arguing their opinion, often give examples from life.
Tell your partner: "I understand you!". Not only will you become his friend, but you will not provoke a quarrel, you will allow the other person to calm down, not fight you, and also look at the situation more broadly, even listen to your ideas and not resist them. Do you see how many pluses there are in one expression, where you accept the right to the existence of someone else's opinion, no matter how it contradicts yours?
10 rules of an interesting interlocutor
So, you want to become interesting, attractive and a good conversationalist. Here you need to show not only understanding, but also show communication skills that create ease in communication. Consider 10 rules that will make you an interesting conversationalist:
- tell me interesting stories. Sometimes there is an awkward silence between the interlocutors. Don't they have anything to say? In fact, they just don't know what to say to them. However, in the life of every person, funny, interesting or exciting events happen. It is about them that you can remember, tell with a smile on your face, have fun and laugh together. The main aspect is that the story should be positive. No need to talk about your problems or tragedies. Tell funny, positive, interesting or educational stories.
- Joke. Humor has always been considered one of the attributes of a good interlocutor. Here you can use jokes, funny stories, even compose jokes yourself. Allow yourself to laugh a little - draw the attention of the interlocutor to what makes you laugh. Here important nuance- if the interlocutor does not know how to laugh at himself (his shortcomings), then you do not need to joke about him.
- Give compliments. A compliment is a positive evaluation of another person. Who hates to hear nice things about themselves? Even shy people are pleased to hear that others see them with positive side. No need to bombard the interlocutor with compliments. You can say 2-3 compliments for all the time. However, it will be much nicer than saying nothing at all. One nuance - really notice what is in a person, no need to flatter.
- Listen and speak. In communication, a person either listens or speaks. A good conversationalist can do both. Bad interlocutors go to extremes: either they listen and are silent all the time, or they constantly talk without letting other people say a word. You need to be able to both shut up in order to let the interlocutor talk, and tell something when the interlocutor now wants to listen to your opinion.
- Look into the eyes. Confident people do not hide their eyes, but constantly maintain contact with their interlocutors. They look straight into your eyes. Of course, they sometimes translate their gaze. However, they do not hide themselves and do not make their interlocutors shy.
- Don't interrupt. This quality should be developed by many, because quite often people interrupt each other. Before the interlocutor had time to express everything he wanted, he was immediately interrupted. You can interrupt once or twice, but if this happens constantly, then the interlocutor loses interest in you. He begins to think that you do not want to listen to him, which means that you do not respect and do not take into account his opinion.
- Don't ask too many questions. The conversation, of course, consists of questions and answers. However, it shouldn't look like the other person is being interviewed. You ask a question, the person answers you, and it is desirable that his answer be open, touching on various topics. For your part, you can supplement his answer, agree, refute or tell a story that relates to your topic. Questions don't always have to come from you. Let the interlocutor also be interested in something from you, and you give as detailed answers as possible.
- Don't criticize. If you want to spoil the other person's mood, start criticizing him. But will he consider you an interesting conversationalist if he feels guilty, pathetic, worthless after your words? Criticism is necessary only on the case. It should be short and concise. However, you should not focus on it. Criticized - and that's enough, move on to another topic.
- Don't brag. This quality is rare, but still found. Boasting makes a person miserable, and his interlocutor makes him get rid of the imposed feeling of worthlessness. While you boast, you are proving to the other person that you are better than him. No need to rise at someone else's expense. You can talk about your achievements that you are proud of. However, do not forget at the same time to ask what your interlocutor is proud of - listen to his boasting!
- Expand your social circle. The more people you communicate with, the more communication skills you will have. Different people require a different approach. And this requires you to be flexible and understand your interlocutor, how you need to communicate with him and behave. If you know how to be different in communication, then you become interesting.
Laughter disposes the interlocutor
Do you want to become part of the company? Would you like to make friends with someone? Do you intend to win over your loved one? Create a situation where your partner will laugh heartily. It doesn't matter what exactly you do or what you laugh about. Important - it's a splash positive emotions, which encourage a person to open up to those who made him laugh or were just nearby.
There have been studies that have given the same result. People who were in high spirits were more likely to reveal their secrets, to become sociable and good-natured towards those who were nearby. Laughter brings people together, research has shown.
How is this phenomenon explained? It is possible to consider in the mechanism such a moment as the elimination of the causes of isolation. A person in a depressed state or when immersed in despondency often closes. He trusts those who surround him at this moment. He does not know what he can say, and what is better to keep silent. Thus, contact with others is disrupted due to the fact that a person becomes closed.
In the moment of laughter, the grievances that grieved are forgotten. No longer spinning in my head negative thoughts and something fun and positive comes up. The brain relaxes, the person himself lets go of the negative, which gives rise to a feeling of stability and calmness. When he does not see any threats for himself, he becomes open and friendly. Most effective method achieving such a state is to make the person you need laugh.
At the moment of a comedic situation, people approach and become open. They remove their barriers with which they used to protect themselves from a cruel world. Thus, if you want to make friends or attract the attention of the right partner, learn to make him laugh, amuse and delight. This will give him a feeling of comfort.
How to become an interesting interlocutor in the end?
Most The best way learning to communicate well with people is to constantly contact them. Communicate with as many people as possible. Track what mood you evoke in them, what words and phrases evoke positive or negative emotions in them. Practice, change your communication style, adjust your skills depending on the result, and then you will become interesting.
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