How to become a versatile and interesting person. How to be strange

  • 11.10.2019

Each of us has our own idea and definition of the concept of "interesting person" or "interesting person". They are somewhat different, but to a greater extent, these concepts are similar for different people.

An interesting person is a person who knows how to maintain a conversation (no matter what topic), someone who is pleasant to listen to, optimistic, cheerful, charismatic, self-confident, with a sense of humor ... Such people are respected, they are drawn to and everyone wants to have such a person as friends.

Do you want to become an interesting person? Do you want to be paid attention to and listened to your opinion? Do you feel like people around you are starting to get bored in your company? So, it's time to work on yourself a little.

Constantly learn and learn new things

Become interesting person it is not at all difficult, but only on condition that you begin to be keenly interested in something. Boring people are not interested in anything, they don't care what happens in the world and around them. More often change the scenery, explore new places and gain new experiences, travel, broaden your horizons, meet new trends, ideas and opinions, study them, enrich your intellect.

If you want to become an interesting person, you must definitely discover your own hobbies and identify interest in anything. It doesn't matter what exactly your hobby becomes: drawing, cross-stitching, growing tomatoes or collecting coins.

A person who is passionate about anything is almost always an interesting person. Such people devote themselves entirely to their favorite pastime, which often grows from an ordinary hobby into a lifelong business. They live in harmony with themselves and have recognition and respect in society, regardless of what they realize themselves: in science or sports, politics or art, pedagogy or entrepreneurship.

In the process of being passionate about a new hobby, you should not dwell on it alone - gradually expand your area of ​​interest. It's great if you have studied the subject from all sides, you know it inside and out, but the probability interest a person and become for him interesting companion will be more in the event that your area of ​​knowledge is not limited to one thing.

Share what you learn

It's one thing to learn a lot for yourself, enrich your knowledge and broaden your horizons. Another thing through which the path to the formation of an interesting personality lies is communication with people.

Once the great English writer George Bernard Shaw said: “ If I have an apple and you have an apple, and if we exchange them, then you and I will have one apple each. And if I have an idea and you have an idea and we exchange them, then each of us will have two ideas". This is the meaning of communication! Acquiring spiritual, personal and mental benefits through communication, we become internally richer.

All of us are characterized by an irresistible desire for new knowledge. Therefore, the opportunity to get useful information always arouses interest, and a person's ability to present this information amusingly and competently, demonstrating good communication skills, doubles the interest in him. Learning to express your thoughts beautifully and sharing knowledge, you will provide yourself with a large audience of listeners, with an open mouth listening to your every word and certainly considering you an interesting person in communication.

Try to see the best in yourself.

Many people often consider themselves an ordinary boring person and do not believe in their own capabilities. And such words as - "The whole Universe is hidden in each person" and "All people are unique", ignore or think that they are applicable to anyone, but not to them.

Remember - there is no more dangerous enemy than self-destruction. Look at your sides, emphasize strong traits your character and focus on best sides of his nature. Fight against weakness and weakness, do not hide your talents and abilities, but on the contrary, demonstrate them.

Ask yourself why are your friends chatting with you? Obviously because of your inherent virtues, because of your outlook on life, hobbies and interests. It turns out that you are already an interesting person for someone!

After you have found in yourself positive traits(it cannot be that you do not have them), try to increase them. Some disadvantages can be turned into advantages by making them part of the image and your corporate identity. People with funny habits and principles can also be interesting.

Learn to listen

To become an interesting conversationalist you just have to learn to listen... Your ability to listen to the interlocutor (as well as ability to ask questions) will play a big role in making you an interesting person.

Give others an opportunity to speak up and talk about yourself, so you can demonstrate your attentiveness and interest in a person and become an interesting person in his eyes. After all, is it really possible to consider as such someone who is focused only on himself and is completely intoxicated by his person. On the contrary, the one who speaks only of himself, thinks only of himself and is not interested in anyone but himself - boring man.

Come to terms with your weirdness

Each of us has our own "cockroaches in the head", our individual characteristics and oddities. You should not hide them from everyone, because it is they who make us unique and interesting personalities.

If you are somehow different from most people and you can say to yourself - "I am not like everyone else" - you should not be ashamed of this, but on the contrary should do it with your dignity, your "zest". Only here there is one big BUT - your "otherness" should not be too strange. Interest is aroused by something new, different from the ordinary, but within the framework of the understandable.

You probably noticed that sometimes women cannot formulate why they like this or that man, and when asked by friends - "How did he hook you," they answer - "He is not like everyone else!" There is practically no logic in these words, and these are rather emotions, but it is they that make a person interesting and attractive. People may not do anything unusual at all, but if someone perceives their actions, words, or, for example, a glance as something new and unusual, then it arouses interest.

Be yourself, don't follow the crowd

Defend your opinion instead of adjusting to the world, be yourself, and do not demonstrate a pattern of behavior adhered to by the majority. People around them are interested in independent people who have a predominant sense of their own dignity, and not humility with what they do not like or are completely alien to.

Be independent in making decisions, do not be like the majority. Do what you like, resist outside influences. At a time when some adapt to others, you must demonstrate your individuality: buy clothes not the one that is fashionable, but the one that you like and in which you feel comfortable and comfortable; do your favorite sport, and not just for the company; listen to music to which your soul lies, and not the one that is popular, etc.

Do what you think is right, do not pay attention to gossips and envious people, and then your real friends will respect you for it.

This does not mean that you always and in everything you need to act on the contrary, sometimes it is useful to listen to the general opinion, especially if it does not contradict your inner convictions, or to adopt someone else's experience and other people's ideas. But remember that become an interesting person it's easier for others to create something of their own and follow their own path.

Moderate your fears

It takes courage to remain who you are, to have your own opinion and to defend it if necessary. Do not be afraid of someone else's opinion, which may be expressed if you are "out of step with everyone."

Courage is also necessary in order to take an unexpected and unknown path at the right time. Some people are very dependent, and they are so afraid of everything that they do not even dare to think about anything outside their comfort zone, but in life you have to be bolder, try, decide, take risks, dare, fall and get up breaking your knees.

A man with a rich life experience more interesting than a person who has little going on in life. And for this experience to become truly rich, sometimes it takes courage. So temper your fears.

Ignore whiners and nerds

It's safe to be bored, any bore will tell you about it. Bores could, should have done, would have done ... But they never did! And now they are offended, because everything works out for you, and they bother, bother, bother.

Such people poison life. Long-term communication with them spoils the mood, and life becomes unbearable. They, like energy vampires, suck all the juices out of a person. A The best way defend against energy vampire this is to minimize communication with him, so you should do the same with bores. Otherwise, no matter how interesting person you were not, if there are a lot of whiners and bores in your environment, you run the risk of succumbing to influence: slipping into insecurity, succumb to a pessimistic mood, get depressed, etc.

If you have a sense of humor, use it.

Interesting personalities are called people who are witty, cheerful, able to cheer up, and not those who know Newton's laws and can talk boringly about them.

Often, when characterizing a person with whom it was interesting, they say about him - "it's fun with him", "it's fun with him", etc. People are drawn to people who cause smiles and who know how to make others laugh, they want to be near them, they are invited to all companies.

The most reliable and easy way be interesting in communication(easy for a person with a sense of humor) is to joke in time, tell an anecdote or a funny story, defuse the situation at the right time.

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How often do we dream of being liked by everyone? And how much needs to be done for this! You need to be funny, interesting, charismatic, a good listener. The list goes on and on. But here's something worth noticing. Absolutely every person cannot be liked. This is simply impossible, and in ours we have already said why.

But if it is impossible to please everyone and everyone, then it is still possible to be a person with whom it is simply interesting to communicate. This is also not easy and requires many qualities, but at least it is real. And for this you need to follow a few rules.

Don't be boring

It is very difficult for us to understand that we are boring at this moment in time, because each of us considers himself to be the best in everything. Do you tell an interesting story and see people yawning? Perhaps this story is not as interesting as it seems. Try to complete it and let other people speak.

The most charismatic people are always good listeners.

People love to talk about themselves to loved ones, which is why there is always a shortage of good listeners. Let the other person tell you about themselves. Ask him counter questions. Strangely, the people we like the most always say little.

Discuss the interests of the interlocutor

This problem is very well covered in the book by Dale Carnegie, a review of which you can find. Find out from the interlocutor about his hobbies, ask questions. And discuss them. You are already 80% close to being liked. If you are well versed in the interlocutor's hobbies, then you can easily keep the conversation going. If not, then ask him more details. He will tell you with great pleasure.

Rule of 3 stories

People aren't interested in the features of your new phone. What really turns them on is real stories that happened to you. Dramas and reality shows have become popular for a reason. Therefore, always have 3 interesting stories to tell about. These stories should be engaging, emotional, and engaging. People should be wondering what will happen in the next minute?

Charisma

There is so much meaning in this word that it becomes difficult to understand what it really means. Someone says that they are born with charisma, while others believe that this skill is developed over the years. But here's what's interesting:

A 1967 study by two psychologists found that in conversation, only 7% of the focus is on words. The rest of the attention is paid to speech tone and body language.

Laugh. Smile. Be emotional. Don't forget about gestures and don't rely on words alone.

Chat with interesting people, read interesting books. The people you spend time with have a huge impact on your character, whether you like it or not. Most The right way to become interesting is to live interesting life... And believe me, this will give you much more than a simple opportunity to be an interesting conversationalist.


The artist and blogger Jessica Hague believes that everyone can be interesting, and mediocrity is the lot of the lazy. She proves this in her book How to Be Interesting: 10 Easy Steps, filled with diagrams and proven personal experience tips for those who want to develop creativity, learn to take risks and trust yourself.

How to be interesting: 10 easy steps

# 1 - Explore

Explore new ideas, places, and opinions. Listening only to yourself is the lot of unbearably boring people.

Disconnect

Without a map, you can find places that are not marked there. By disconnecting your phone, you can talk to those who will meet along the way. Skip the next batch of social media updates and look inside yourself. Gadgets bind you to a familiar world. Disable them and plunge into the unknown.

Take a vacation every day

Even if not for long. Walk through the city at dawn. Throw a letter at a stranger mailbox... Read a magazine someone left at the bus stop. Take a walk in the rain. Order hot chocolate at an unfamiliar café. Use any free minute.

Keep asking "why?"

Parents hate it when children torment them with questions. Why? That's why. Why? That's why. Why? That's why. And again and again. But try it yourself. And wonder how the simple "why?" the most interesting "because ..." will follow.

# 2 - Share your findings

Be generous. Not everyone can go with you. Let them experience the same adventures as you.

Show initiative

Don't put it off until tomorrow. Speak and do right away, now. Go where you need to be. Don't wait for an invitation - invite it yourself. Don't sit by the phone - call. Spread the word out. Click on the buttons. Buy tickets and enjoy the show.

Tell the obvious (to you)

What you know is often a mystery for others, sealed with seven seals. Something that is as old as the world to you may seem like a fresh idea to someone. For you the task is simple, for others it is an insurmountable obstacle. Your mind is full of treasures that no one else can see. Bring them out into the light. When you share ideas, they don't go to waste. On the contrary, they only multiply.

Be the connecting link, not the end point

Don't just talk. Don't just listen. Introduce people. Help strangers. Share what you know. This is how an idea snowballs and eventually turns into an event. Be the core around which an entire community is built.

# 3 - Do Something. Anything

Dance. Write. Build. Communicate. Play. Help. Be creative. It doesn't matter what exactly you do, as long as you do something. Yes, just in case: this does not apply to "sit and whine."

Make a choice. Any

Do not decide how exactly to dispose of the current day? With your life? Career? To be honest, it doesn't matter. Even carefully worked out plans collapse. And to rush in indecision from one option to another is a sure way to do nothing in a lifetime. Flip a coin. Twirl the bottle. Trust your intuition. And go ahead!

Throw away the trash

Not every job is worth doing. Not every unpleasant job has to be done. Avoid what torments you. If something cannot be avoided (washing or filling tax return), do it with pleasure - and once done, throw it out of your head. Free up space for what's really important. And really interesting.

Stake your territory

Whatever you do, love what you do. Take it. Improve yourself in it. Own it. This is the only way to combine a sense of freedom with a sense of security.

# 4 - Embrace Your Weirdness

There are no "normal" people in the world. Each has its own characteristics and views inherent only to him. Don't hide them from others - that's what makes you an interesting person.

Be yourself in public

When leaving the house, be yourself. Be yourself at work. Wear your personality proudly. Don't censor your skills. Don't hide your unique features... To stand out, you need to have personality. Only the one who does not hide her from others remains himself.

Stop apologizing

There is nothing wrong with being unique. There is nothing wrong with being different from others. You don't need to apologize for being an interesting person.

Capitalize on your features

What makes you interesting adds value to you. Only you can express what you know, do what you do, and know what you know. And you don't need a huge niche - just a piece of land is enough to plant your flag.

# 5 - Live meaningfully

If you don't give a damn about everything, everyone will give a damn about you.

Spend your money on the right things

Who are you paying? Who pays you? What people and companies are you associated with? Do you agree with their policies, methods and behavior? Do they suit you? If not, you can always change something by starting to spend money on something else.

Strive for the maximum

Ask yourself: is this the best possible? If not, what is it? And get busy achieving the best.

Put things in order

Assign the highest priority to the most important. Everything else is organized by itself.

# 6 - Keep it Simple

The ego stands in the way of ideas. If your arrogance is more visible than experience, people will avoid you.

Imagine how much you don't know

Everything you will ever know will be only a microscopic grain of sand compared to the vast, immense universe of information. Let this sobering fact soothe you.

Not everyone needs what you have

Your greatest achievement, as impressive as it may seem to you, is a terrible nightmare for someone. Your most precious possession for someone else is tasteless junk. Brag more carefully!

Think about how lucky you are

Do you deserve what you have? Perhaps in part. And what you don’t have? Probably not. Recognize the role that coincidence, chance, systemic processes (and luck, of course) play in our world.

# 7 - Try

Try it. Try new ideas. Do something different. You won't grow up until you leave your comfort zone.

Acknowledge your desires

To deny a dream is to nip it in the bud. You shouldn't feel guilty about striving for something. There is nothing wrong with wanting something. Save your guilt in case you don't even give yourself a chance to try.

Step over your boundaries

If you have not been somewhere, this does not mean that you will not like it there. If something is not your responsibility, this does not mean that you cannot do it. It's up to you to decide which league to play in.

Tackle difficult cases

Know that obstacles will scare off most of your competitors. Plus, it's usually the most rewarding solution to the most difficult problems.

# 8 - Get off the wrong track

You shouldn't do what everyone is already doing - this train left without you. Come up with something of your own, then admirers will be drawn to you.

Squeeze into a niche

The narrower the niche, the less space for imitators. If you want to be interesting, do something special, not mundane.

Don't chase the ubiquitous

If something is ubiquitous, it is not necessarily worthy of praise or participation.

Become visible

To be successful, you don't need to become world famous or obscenely rich. You just have to do what you do best.

# 9 - Brace Yourself

It takes courage to have an opinion and walk the unbeaten path. If you do not have enough courage, all that remains is to stomp around the cooler and discuss those who have plenty of it.

Raise a riot

If you suddenly realize that you are working on something meaningless or fruitless, stop immediately. It is not worth fighting for what you do not see value in. You will be surprised how many people will support your protest.

Avoid authorities

Don't be afraid of friction

You don't want to intrude. You don't like making waves. You dare not ask for what you need. But you have to overcome yourself.

# 10 - Never mind swearing

It is safe to be boring. As you get interesting, you will often hear angry "behave yourself". Those who scold you also “could”, “would like”, “would do”. But they didn't. And so they are pissed off by your willingness to adventure.

Don't belittle yourself

Learn from everyone

You can learn how not to live from the scum you encounter. You can learn how to live from people you respect and love. Consider it all scientific research features of human behavior.

Don't confuse ridicule and criticism

Only what can be used for self-improvement is constructive.

How to become an interesting person, or Where to find the key to ... yourself

February 13, 2018 - No Comments

You have a dream, a cherished desire. You make it up to the chimes and blowing out the candles on the birthday cake. You paint vivid pictures in your imagination. Here you are - an interesting person, others see you as an interesting interlocutor, there are many friends around, people like you, including the opposite sex. You are a welcome guest in any company and an irreplaceable person in the team. We will talk about how to fulfill a dream in any company and in any situation in this article.

A crooked mirror, or in life everything is the other way around

Morning dispels dreams mercilessly. In life, everything turns out differently. The fact is on the face - those around you are bored, not interested. Often they don't even notice you, as if you are not here ... What is the reason why this is happening?

Or maybe in order to be an interesting person, the soul of the company, you need to be able to speak well? But your jokes are not funny, the stories are not interesting, and even more often you are simply constrained by the fear of being funny, ridiculous - it makes you an invisible, gray mouse.

But there is another reason - a more significant one. People are so different. It is difficult to understand who is interested in what. We don't really know ourselves either. And all the more, it is not known what others have in their heads, how they will like them. How to keep the attention and interest of others?

How can you become an interesting person for those around you?

An endless number of all kinds of trainings, advice from "wise" psychologists - but the miracle did not happen. You are still looking for an answer. How do you become a person? For a start, it would be nice for you to get to know yourself better.

Understand yourself, your true desires, and not just follow general instructions and advice that is not suitable for everyone - you will be helped by the knowledge of human psychology, obtained at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.

Each person has his own innate desires, talents, which are necessarily provided with properties for their realization.

This person likes to play sports or dance, gymnastics. He can easily combine several hobbies. This is within the power and pleasure of people with a skin vector. They are naturally quick and dexterous, they can do several things at the same time. They are also the best organizers and logicians. The owner of the anal vector, on the contrary, is a slow, diligent, thorough, homebody. These are those about whom they say: "golden" hands. Their phenomenal memory and analytical thinking make them erudites and professionals. The visual vector is emotional, sensual people. They are fascinated by art, design, photography - everything that allows them to enjoy the beauty of the world around them. Each person seeks to find in life what will make him happy. Why this does not always work out, you can read in the article: How to meet your happiness?

But this is not even the main thing. The main thing is that by embodying your true desires in life, you realize the potential inherent in nature, and this brings pleasure and joy. Your internal state automatically changes, the biochemistry of the brain comes into balance. The smell transmitted to others at the pheromone level changes. You now look in a completely new light to those around you. Your inner balanced state will attract people like a magnet. You will be interesting to people as an interlocutor.

Who do we think is an interesting person?

The notion that an interesting person is a polymath, a walking encyclopedia, or, speaking modern language, "Google on legs" is a mistake. A person is interesting not only when he knows a lot, but when he is on the same wavelength with you, speaks the same language, is sincerely interested in your problems, knows how to listen and understand, knows how to ask a question in time or keep silent, laugh with you or sympathize and cry.

Thanks to the training "System-vector psychology" you will master all the secrets of the structure of the psyche of the people around you. In a new team, big company or in a cramped compartment, each person will become an open book for you - take it and read it.

I think you had to travel by train. Now the train has started, and you are watching those around you.

One of them quickly put things under the seat, took off his hat and coat. That's it, he's ready to travel. This is a person with a skin vector. He is short, laconic, he speaks about himself reluctantly. How can he be an interesting person? Tell him about yourself. He will listen with pleasure where and why you are going. And he will definitely ask for your phone number if he considers you the “right” person. After all, his social circle is based solely on the concepts of "benefit-benefit".

The second fellow traveler cannot get settled for a long time, puffs, sighs heavily. Finally, he sat down and joined the conversation. This is the owner of the anal vector. To become an interesting person for him, you don't even need to say anything. Just listen carefully to his long, detailed story with many digressions and clarifications. Well, you can still help with advice on how best to sit - head to the door or to the window.

There is a girl on the top shelf. All this time she quietly looks out the window, then smiling slightly at something, then brushing away a tear. She clearly has a visual vector. How to distract her from sad thoughts, how to become an interesting person for her? Compliment her, tell her something sincere, about love.

The conductor came in and asked to show the tickets. Without a word, someone from the top shelf held out a ticket. Who is this? Neither you nor those around you even noticed the guy who is lying on the second shelf. There is a backpack under the head, headphones in the ears. A detached look, his thoughts are far from those around him and the entire material world. But now you know, even for him - to talk to him about philosophy, the frailty of being, perhaps about literature or poetry, to show a sincere interest in his brilliant thoughts and ideas. And better with a quiet voice - a person with a sound vector will appreciate it.

The happy life of an interesting person

This article gave you a glimpse of. She showed that it is possible to successfully communicate with others - acquaintances and strangers - by accurately understanding their values ​​and interests.

You don't have to know a million to be an interesting person. funny jokes or commit trip around the world... It is important to accurately understand yourself and the people around you - this opens up huge opportunities for a busy life. How happy we are will depend on how we interact with other people.

This is what people say about their

In relationships with girls, eloquence has always played a significant role. Sometimes relationships were created or, conversely, destroyed due to a person's ability to communicate. Communication is important not only with the opposite sex, but also with other people, especially when you want to make contacts with them or acquire joint work. Male site site will bring 10 rules that will help you establish contacts and become an interesting conversationalist.

Have you ever had such a thing that you communicate with a person, but he causes you some discomfort? It seems that he is outwardly attractive, does not say bad words, but something in him repels. You naturally want to stop communicating with him as soon as possible.

However, there are people who do not possess bright beauty and great knowledge, but it is so easy and fun to communicate with them that you do not want to end the meeting. It seems that the person is not your type. It seems that he does not say some truths and hidden information. However, it is so pleasant to communicate with him that you do not want to come off.

With every century, a person's ability to communicate well with people around him becomes a top priority and a step towards. Many talk about the need to be well connected to be successful. However, for these good connections you need to be able to be a pleasant and interesting conversationalist. And this is an axiom both in the field of work, business, and in love.

How to win over the interlocutor?

Tell the person: "I understand you!" - and he will want to continue to communicate with you and continue. Many people ask themselves the question: "How to win over the interlocutor?" Nothing is easier than just letting him be right even when you disagree with him. Everyone considers their opinion to be the only correct one. Your opinion may be as wrong as the thoughts of the other person. Why argue about who is right and wrong? You can just let everyone be right to start! By doing this, you will win over anyone, because everyone wants to be right.

People don't need much. Give them insight. When a person is understood, they do not try to contradict and convince, then he relaxes and is imbued with gratitude to the interlocutor. You don't have to accept someone else's point of view. If you think differently, then you have the right to stay with your opinion if it seems more correct to you. If the interlocutor speaks reasonable words, you can adjust your opinion. But be that as it may, whatever you do with your point of view, tell the interlocutor: "I understand you!"

To understand is not to agree. To understand is to accept the right to exist of someone else's opinion, no matter how erroneous and wrong it may be. When the person feels that you "accept" him, then he will relax. Perhaps he even wants to hear your thoughts and asks about them. Perhaps he will continue to speculate on the topic of the conversation you are having and come to a broader understanding of the issue. Give understanding to the other person. This will allow not only to endear the interlocutor to himself, but also to calm him down, prompting him to look at the question more broadly.

Often people do not understand each other, or rather, do not want to accept other people's points of view, since they have their own opinion, which they consider to be more correct. But the dispute begins where the interlocutors begin to fight for whose opinion is the most correct, right? Why start a fight when you can avoid it? Accept the right to the existence of someone else's opinion, tell the interlocutor about this, even if your thoughts do not change from this. It is not necessary to fight for the correctness of someone's point of view. You can just listen to what the other person thinks and draw your own conclusions. You don't always need to convince someone. The other person has the right to be delusional. Life will put him in his place if he is really wrong. You can be wrong, just like your interlocutor. And no one, except life itself, will convince you of this. That is why many people, arguing their opinion, often give examples from life.

Tell your partner: "I understand you!" You will not only become his friend, but also not provoke a quarrel, allow the other person to calm down, not fight with you, and also look at the situation more broadly, even listen to your ideas and not resist them. You see how many pluses there are in one expression, where you accept the right to exist of someone else's opinion, no matter how it contradicts yours?

10 rules of an interesting conversation partner

So, you want to be an interesting, attractive, and good conversationalist. Here you need to show not only understanding, but also to show communication skills that create ease of communication. Consider 10 rules that will make you an interesting conversationalist:

  1. Tell interesting stories... Sometimes there is an awkward silence between the interlocutors. Do they have nothing to tell? In fact, they just don't know what to say to them. However, funny, interesting or exciting events happen in every person's life. It is about them that you can remember, tell with a smile on your face, have fun and laugh together. The main aspect is that the story must be positive. There is no need to talk about your problems or tragedies. Tell funny, positive, interesting, or educational stories.
  2. You're kidding. Humor has always been considered one of the attributes of a good conversationalist. Here you can use anecdotes, funny stories, even compose jokes yourself. Allow yourself to laugh a little - draw the interlocutor's attention to what makes you laugh. Here important nuance- if the interlocutor does not know how to laugh at himself (his shortcomings), then there is no need to joke about him.
  3. Compliment. A compliment is a positive assessment of another person. Who hates to hear nice things about themselves? Even shy people are pleased to hear that others see them with positive side... No need to shower your interlocutor with compliments. You can say 2-3 compliments all the time. However, it will be much more pleasant than you say nothing at all. One caveat - really notice what is in a person, no need to flatter.
  4. Listen and talk. In communication, a person either listens or speaks. A good conversationalist can do both. Bad interlocutors go to extremes: either they listen and are silent all the time, or they constantly talk, not allowing other people to say a word. You need to be able to both shut up in order to let the interlocutor speak out, and to tell something when the interlocutor now wants to listen to your opinion.
  5. Make eye contact. Confident people do not hide their eyes, but constantly maintain contact with their interlocutors. They look straight into the eyes. Of course, they sometimes look at them. However, they do not hide themselves and do not make their interlocutors shy.
  6. Don't interrupt. This quality should be developed by many, because quite often people interrupt each other. Before the interlocutor had time to express everything he wanted, he was immediately interrupted. You can interrupt once or twice, but if this happens all the time, then the interlocutor loses interest in you. He begins to think that you do not want to listen to him, which means that you do not respect and do not reckon with his opinion.
  7. Don't ask a lot of questions. The conversation, of course, consists of questions and answers. However, it shouldn't look like the other person is being interviewed. You ask a question, the person answers you, and it is desirable that his answer be open, covering various topics. For your part, you can supplement his answer, agree, refute, or tell a story that relates to your topic. Questions don't always have to come from you. Let the interlocutor also be interested in you, and you give as detailed answers as possible.
  8. Don't criticize. If you want to ruin the other person's mood, start criticizing him. But will he consider you an interesting interlocutor if he feels guilty, pathetic, worthless after your words? Criticism is necessary only in the case. It should be short and concise. However, you should not focus on it. Have criticized - and that's enough, move on to another topic.
  9. Do not boast. This quality is rare, but still occurs. Boasting makes a person pitiful, and makes the interlocutor get rid of the imposed feeling of worthlessness. While you are boasting, you are proving to the other person that you are better than him. There is no need to rise at the expense of others. You can tell about your achievements that you are proud of. However, do not forget at the same time to ask what your interlocutor is proud of - listen to his boasting!
  10. Expand your social circle. The more people you communicate with, the more communication skills you will have. Different people require a different approach to themselves. And this requires you to be flexible and understand your interlocutor, how you need to communicate with him and behave. If you know how to be different in communication, then you become interesting.

Laughter disposes the interlocutor

Do you want to become a part of the company? Do you want to make friends with someone? Do you intend to win over your loved one? Create a situation where your partner laughs heartily. It doesn't matter what exactly you do or what you laugh about. Important is the surge positive emotions that encourage a person to open up in front of those who made fun of him or were just around.

There have been studies that have given the same result. People in high spirits were more inclined to reveal their secrets, to become sociable and good-natured towards those who were around. Laughter brings people closer together - it's been proven in research.

How is this phenomenon explained? You can consider in the mechanism such a moment as the elimination of the reasons for isolation. A person in a depressed state or when immersed in despondency often closes up. He trusts those who are around him at this moment. He does not know what can be said to him, and what is better to be silent. Thus, contact with others is broken due to the fact that a person becomes withdrawn.

In the moment of laughter, the grievances that upset you are forgotten. Are not scrolling in my head anymore negative thoughts, but something funny and positive arises. The brain relaxes, the person himself lets go of the negative, which gives rise to a feeling of stability and calmness. When he does not see any threats to himself, he becomes open and benevolent. Most effective method achieving such a state is to make the person you need laugh.

In the moment of a comedic situation, people become close and open. They remove their barriers, which they used to protect themselves from the cruel world. Thus, if you want to make friends or attract the attention of the right partner, learn to make him laugh, amuse and delight him. This will give him a sense of comfort.

How do you eventually become an interesting conversationalist?

The best way to learn how to communicate well with people is to be in constant contact with them. Communicate with as many people as possible. Track what mood you make them, what words and phrases evoke positive or negative emotions in them. Train, change your communication style, adjust your skills depending on the result, and then you will become interesting.