To convince means to prove or disprove a position by logical arguments!!
If your ability to convince people leaves much to be desired, or you can’t manage to convince a person in any way, and each of your meetings “is like a collision of two billiard balls that sharply click and scatter in different directions, without changing their shape or color, and not leaving traces on each other”, then our advice is just for you.
In order to convince a person that you are right, to convince a person to stop drinking, smoking, or to convince a person to buy something, etc., it is necessary to understand that the effectiveness of persuasion largely depends on the appropriately selected argumentation.
Factors that contribute to increasing the effectiveness of arguments during persuasion:
1. The credibility of the source of information, that is, the one who convinces.
2. The importance of the problem itself, that is, the persuasiveness of what is being said.
3. The nature of the group or person being persuaded or persuaded.
When you try to convince a person of something and use various ways reasoning, a person can treat you either with trust, doubt or distrust.
The value of the personality of the person who convinces
The persuasiveness of the arguments and the credibility of them largely depends on the image and status of the persuasive. It is one thing when a person is authoritative, respected, and another thing when he is not taken seriously. This proves the experiment carried out by scientists.
Several groups of students were asked to listen to an audio recording of a lecture about how young criminals should be treated more humanely.
All groups listened to the same lecture, but the information about the lecturer in each group was different. The first group was told that the speaker was a highly qualified judge and an authority on youth crime. The second group was presented with a neutral version: he is a radio worker. The third group was told that the speaker was a delinquent who was currently on parole.
Understandably, this group got the impression that the lecturer (who is also a criminal) has a personal interest in seeing young criminals treated humanely. The students had to answer how they assess the lecture itself and what their views are on a more humane treatment of young offenders.
The results were as follows: a group of students who believed that the lecture was given by an experienced judge and authority in the field of delinquency among young people, assessed the lecture itself and its conclusions positively. At the same time, the students, who believed that they were facing a criminal who wanted his offense to be treated as humanely as possible, assessed the lecture negatively.
The students, who were introduced to the speaker as a radio worker, took a neutral position. The lecture made all the students look at the punishment of young criminals from different points of view. However, it had the greatest impact on students who rated the lecturer positively, and least on those who considered him a delinquent.
The conducted experiment proves how important the personality of the one who convinces and calls for is. In fact, this knowledge is used by those who ask a respected person to "say a word."
In general, most people believe that in our society, men have a higher status than women. Other things being equal, a person of large build often inspires more confidence than others.
What should be the nature of speech to convince a person? Certainly persuasive!
In order to make your speech more persuasive, you need to follow some rules of persuasion.
- Do not prove the obvious, do not speak banal or commonplace truths. A person always wants to hear something new, unknown to him. Otherwise, he loses interest both in speech and in the speaker himself.
- Do not be afraid to agree with a person if you want to convince him of something. This rule of persuasion will help you turn his own judgments against him or prove their uselessness to him.
- Don't try to explain something you don't fully understand. This typical mistake those who want to convince a person.
- To convince a person, never allow contradictions in your arguments.
- If you manage to find a strong evidence or a strong objection, leave it "for dessert."
- Do not use mediocre and unreliable arguments in your argument. In order to convince a person, try to give strong arguments separately, developing each one in detail; and collect weak arguments into one strong argument.
- In your persuasive strategy, try to reinforce one piece of evidence with another.
- And finally, one more rule that allows you to convince a person that you are right. Don't try to prove more when you can do less. Don't make it difficult for yourself. This requires additional effort and time, and most importantly, it increases the likelihood of failure.
- If you want to convince or convince a person, start not with the moments that separate you, but with what you agree with him.
- Be a good listener and show empathy. You cannot convince a person of anything without understanding the course of his thoughts. Moreover, an attentive listener disposes to himself.
- To convince a person, show that what you offer satisfies any of his needs: physiological (need for food, water, sleep, etc.); the need for security, confidence in the future; the need to belong to any community (family, company of friends, work team, etc.); the need for respect and the need for self-realization.
To some extent, a person needs to satisfy all the needs. The strongest argument is the ability to satisfy any human need.
And also, very important rule persuasion is appropriate silence
One of the most famous orators of antiquity, Cicero, said: “Silence is not only an art, but also eloquence”
Silence can be an answer no less eloquent than words. A short silence or pause helps to draw the person's attention to your subsequent words and arguments.
Any rank. Those times when the authorities were required only to use administrative-command methods have long since sunk into oblivion. The fact that nowadays business is usually managed by a group of partners with equal rights, as well as the development of electronic communications and the freedom of choice of specialists in the place of work, have led to the destruction of the traditional hierarchy of management structures. In addition to the question of what an employee should do, more and more often one can hear another question: why is this or that task entrusted to him? The ability to answer this question is the application of persuasion in practice.
Persuasion is a complex process that, despite high costs time is more efficient than the traditional command-and-control approach. How to learn to convince people so that they take your side, even if they previously disagreed with you? The key to the effectiveness of persuasion is thorough preparation, during which you must find convincing arguments and evidence of your innocence.
Let us try by joint efforts to determine on what modern and effective methods beliefs.
1. Don't get into arguments.
If you are going to persuade a person to your point of view, then arguing with him is the last thing. Always remember that the more actively you start arguing, the more you will be opposed. Therefore, in order to achieve - learn to avoid disputes.
2. Respect the opinion of the interlocutor.
Do not try to tell the other person that he is wrong. This will make him feel humiliated, and it will become almost impossible to win him over to your side.
3. Feel free to admit mistakes.
It is necessary to be prepared for the fact that if you find any mistake in your words or actions, you can admit it. This will help you earn trust and win over those around you.
4. Be friendly.
Friendliness is the very key that will help you open the door to the mind and heart, because it is much easier to do business with someone with whom you have a friendly relationship, rather than an enemy.
5. Provoke the interlocutor to a positive answer.
By asking the interlocutor questions to which he will be forced to give positive answers, you can set him up for the fact that he will also give a positive answer to what you need.
6. Always listen to the interlocutor to the end.
If you do not allow your interlocutor to express his thought to the end, then you can only get him to get angry with you, and this will not help to solve your question in any way.
7. Convince the interlocutor that the proposal comes from him.
If you manage to make your idea seem like your interlocutor's own, he will more easily accept it and agree with it faster. In fact, after all, a person cannot reject his own ideas!
8. Look at the problem from different angles.
Trying to convince someone of something - try to evaluate the issue from his point of view. This will help you understand what your opponent does not like and what he does not agree with.
9. Appeal to nobility.
Another way to how to learn to convince people is to wake them up best qualities. If a person subordinate to you realizes that you trust him, he simply will not want to deceive you.
10. Showcase your idea visually.
In order for your idea to reach people faster, you must interest it as much as possible. To do this, you can even use staging.
Hello dear readers! We have to convince people different situations: at work, school, personal life. Remember the last moment when you had to communicate with a person to persuade him to your side. Was it easy for you? If you are reading this article, then most likely you have failed. But it is so important to know how to properly persuade a person. But this skill can be easily learned. Therefore, today I want to talk about how to convince people of various life situations what should definitely be emphasized and what should definitely be avoided.
If you want to master the skill of persuasion, then you can not do without this book: Robert Cialdini " Psychology of influence. Persuade. Act. defend yourself". It is she who reveals this topic in its entirety, in an understandable language, it provides understandable and simple examples where you can easily learn how to convince anyone.
Power of persuasion
The ability to get a person to accept your position is extremely useful in various areas of life. Persuade. Arrange with your lover to go to the cinema. Make a friend go on a diet together and so on. In all these situations, it is extremely important to understand how best to influence the interlocutor in order to incline to your opinion and push him to the actions you need.
If today it is extremely difficult for you to be with you, do not be upset and do not worry. This is a skill that can and should be developed every day, albeit in small portions. Start small and work your way up. Of course, you most likely won’t be able to perform complex techniques right away, because this requires experience. That is why I warn you against haste.
What does it mean to convince another person? Give the necessary arguments, show an example, make you think in such a way as to direct the actions of a person in the direction you need. It is extremely important to understand the real beliefs of the person himself.
Remember that all people do only what brings them material, mental or moral benefits. That is what your actions should be aimed at. Show the person the benefit they will receive.
The process of persuasion depends on many factors. You need to win over only one person or a whole group to your side; you are trying to negotiate with your boss or your girlfriend; in front of you is a person or benevolent regarding your idea. All this involves completely different tactics. Let's deal with each situation in more detail.
persuasive speech
I want to start by preparing a speech. When you need to pitch a new product in front of clients, or convince a board of directors about a new direction for your business, or make a big statement in front of an examining board. All of the principles below can be useful to you in a personal conversation, when you need to win over just one person to your side.
The first principle is your understanding of the essence. In order to convince the many, to win over the majority, you need to clearly understand the intentions and goals. If you are not confident in your belief, then it will immediately catch your eye.
You should not just prove, you should show all the charm of your idea and the benefit for the audience you are speaking to. You will gain more credibility if people see your confidence and determination.
Second no less important point- the structure of your presentation. A poorly prepared speech will leave behind only a bitter aftertaste and disappointment in the speaker. Therefore, it is extremely important for you to learn how to plan your speech correctly.
How to build a presentation? First comes the introduction. It should be short, concise and indicate the essence of your further speech. You can start off with a serious tone, or you can start with a joke, which will give the presentation a lighter and more casual format.
After the introduction comes the main part. Emphasize how you speak. It's just as important as what you say. Persuasive speech should be clear, easy to understand, logical and coherent. Do not fuss, do not try to cram as many examples, evidence and arguments into the speech as possible. Stop at two or three of the most powerful and backed by authoritative sources.
Break your speech into small blocks. Information is best absorbed in short and precise expressions. Do not be afraid to ask the audience questions and boldly answer your questions. But be careful, improvisation has its pitfalls. Therefore, try to think in advance what questions you may be asked.
And if you really have to improvise, then for preparation you can not do without the article "".
At the end, briefly recap the whole speech with the main points, and make the main statement, which should encourage people to take certain steps (buy your product, enroll in courses, and so on).
Useful tricks
Now let's talk about what tricks you can use to convince a person in a personal conversation.
When you speak, be careful with your language. The same information can be presented under completely different sauces. I suggest you think about the following two phrases: “I have no money” and “I am currently experiencing a little financial difficulty.” Where do you see the difference in these phrases?
When you win over a person to your side, then try to use emotionally charged words. A meager and faded argument, even if it is well supported, will cause much less response than an emotional speech.
When you talk to a person, you can gain more trust from him through gestures and facial expressions. This is done in a simple and uncomplicated way - to take his pose. When we are like a person, then he subconsciously feels sympathy for us and trusts our words more. You can learn more about body language in the article "".
In the psychology of persuasion, there is a great technique that marketers use everywhere - creating a visible scarcity. We all want to have something unique and special. Therefore, when a limited batch of any product is produced, the store is bursting with queues.
A useful example of persuasion long term- exchange. In order to get what you want from a certain person, give him something. For example, lend a neighbor a drill, give your boss tickets to the opera, give a friend. With such an act, you oblige a person to return kindness for kindness. Don't overdo this trick.
Always remember to be honest and open. People are more inclined to trust someone who does not hide anything, is friendly and smiling. It is difficult to agree with someone who is gloomy, mutters something under his breath and does not call positive emotions generally.
Reception "three yes". Start the conversation with two questions that the person will definitely answer in the affirmative: Is the weather fine today, yes; I see you are a bit tired today, right? After that, the person will be inclined to answer the third question in the affirmative.
Never forget about the benefit that a person will receive by agreeing with you. You need to convince him not that he just needs to act in a certain way, but about how much good he will get from this action.
Touch sometimes works wonders. A light pat on the shoulder, a gentle touch on the arm, elbow or forearm. All this will help you forge a closer and closer relationship with the person. Try not to overdo it with such gestures. Firstly, each person has his own comfort zone, read about it in the article "", and secondly, your gesture may seem intrusive and will only push you away.
Be attentive to your interlocutor, speak briefly and to the point, praise the person, focus on the benefits for the person himself, do not push if you see a clear disagreement.
How often do you have to convince people? Is it easy to agree with you? What can influence you to decide to change your point of view to the opposite?
Train and practice. Only then can you hone this skill to perfection.
Best wishes to you!
It is sad to see how a well-prepared performance is accompanied by indifferent looks and poorly concealed yawns from the audience. Yes, and in a friendly company, in the family circle, it would be nice to learn how to convince a person, how to convince relatives and friends that you are right.
Salespeople, politicians, office workers when dealing with customers, and their boss when dealing with employees – everyone needs the art of persuasion.
Speech is the main weapon
Of course, having an expressive look, you can try to use it for persuasion. But still, the success of someone who works on how to learn how to convince people lies in a well-formed and emotionally colored speech.Quiet speech is subconsciously perceived as the speech of an insecure person. The fast pace of speech tires the listener, he must tensely follow the meaning, trying to grasp it. A slow pace, on the contrary, leads to indifference of the audience, the listeners are distracted, thinking about something of their own.
Secrets of skillful persuasion
Experienced speakers and attention manipulators know how to learn how to persuade and succeed. To do this, they use proven techniques:- A person is affected only by those arguments that he is able to perceive.
- They do not offer only "bare" facts, but consistently reveal their meaning and significance.
- First, they respond to the arguments of the interlocutor, and then express their point of view.
- They try to find areas of internal oscillation in the interlocutor and it is there that they place accents.
- They do not dismiss opposing arguments, but think over counter arguments to them (and the strongest argument is left in reserve).
- They give individual statements the form of a rhetorical or neutral question, so that, answering it, the interlocutor perceives the answer as his own opinion.
- They abstain from questions to which the answer “no” will follow, since the publicly expressed opinion of the interlocutor is already difficult and even useless to attack.
There is another trick that is difficult to explain from the point of view of logical meaning. How to convince the interlocutor that you are right? You need to look at the point located between his eyes and imagine the reaction of your counterpart that is needed at the moment.
Brevity is the sister of persuasive talent
Regardless of what is at stake, a conversation about a problem that concerns the interlocutors goes through the following stages:- Training. Here the purpose of the conversation is clarified, the initial information about the interlocutor is obtained, the tactics of persuasion are considered.
- The beginning of a conversation, where the negative on the part of the interlocutor is neutralized, if any (squeezed posture, narrowed eyes, harsh statements) and the mood is carried out in the interests of the persuasive.
- Implementation of the theme in the right direction.
- End the conversation and consolidate the result.
- You need to have a clear goal and know what you need to get from the interlocutor, no matter who he is: a manager at an interview, a salesman behind a store counter, a boss or a subordinate.
- Previously, it would be nice to collect information about him and find out points of contact.
- When speaking, it is required to take into account the interests and needs of the listener and rely on them.
- To attract attention, you need to use bait - an incident from your own life, an anecdote, an original question - everything that will allow you to "pull the blanket over yourself."
How to increase the effectiveness of persuasion
When working on the problem of how to convince a person, many other factors must be taken into account. These are peculiar psychological moments that improve the atmosphere in which communication takes place:- Being collected is easier not during hot and humid weather, but on cold, clear days.
- Around 19.00, many people become irritable and quick-tempered, it is not easy to convince them of something in this particular time period.
- It is advisable to know by name the one who needs to be convinced of something, otherwise he will get the impression that he does not matter to his opponent.
- At the beginning of the conversation, you need to push the interlocutor with a few questions, to which the person will answer “yes”, this will immediately create a benevolent atmosphere, an atmosphere of trust, ease, readiness to listen.
- The technique of “mirroring”, when the persuasive assumes a pose and copies the gestures of the interlocutor, disposes the person.
- Being attentive will help the proposal to speak out. If a person is listened to, then in response he will try to listen to the arguments of his counterpart.
Finishing the conversation, we must remember that the last phrases are remembered most strongly. Therefore, they cannot be inexpressive and fuzzy. Worthy and timely completion of the conversation will help to consolidate the interlocutor's conviction.
Offer a drink. If you want to convince a person of something, offer them a hot drink during a conversation, such as tea, coffee, or cocoa. If you offer a warm drink, the person subconsciously perceives you as a warm, pleasant and hospitable person. Cold drink may have opposite effect. Generally, people feel cold and crave warm food and drink when they feel isolated from society. Satisfy their need and they will become more receptive to your words.
Ask questions that suggest a positive “Yes” answer. Start the conversation by asking questions that suggest a positive answer, such as "The weather is nice today, isn't it?", "You want to buy a car at a bargain price, don't you?"
- When you get someone to say yes, it will be easier for you to get the person to say yes, I will buy it.
- It's best to ask vague questions, but make sure your wife knows why you're complimenting the other girl.
Break the touch barrier. Whether you're closing a deal or asking someone out on a date, touch that person casually. A light touch can increase your chances of promoting a product or service - the interlocutor's desire to get closer is activated on a subconscious level.
- Don't pressure people! Try asking the person for a favor a few weeks later.
- During the conversation, try to be as pleasant as possible. If the person is attracted to you, you will be more likely to get what you want.
- There are several ways to look more powerful. You can choose to wear the black suit that is popular with the judges, the police, and the clergy, or you can keep a neutral face. But being dominant doesn't always mean being persuasive. If you are a seller, you should rather find mutual language with the buyer, not to scare him. If you are a controller, you rather need to keep people in a fist, dominating and dominating them.
- Know when to stop. There are people who are very stubborn, and there are those who simply shun others.
- If you agree to pay later, sign the contract and have a trusted third party present.
- Use the same methods as the sales assistant to take revenge on him and scare him away. For example, when buying a car, have a conversation. Ask questions you know the answers to: "Car sales are down, aren't they?" "Guys, I think you should write off your 2012 car by now!" Thus, the seller will go out of his way to sell the product. Remind employees that they wage decreased by doing so by chance.
- Share your opinion about the situation the person is in. Let's say someone discovers that he can see the future. Tell him how scared you were to find something like this in yourself. Perhaps at first the person will not share with you a story about his gift - wait a few days. Then tell him about a famous psychic. Perhaps now the person will open up. You need to act in stages - often this is how people open up.
- Don't talk too much. Your task is to understand potential customers, not to get into their wallet. Demonstrate the ability to listen and understand so that people can see that you are ready to serve them for their good. Too many words - a waste of time, both yours and potential customers.
- Make them think, "This is what I need!" This will make it easier to convince people.
Warnings
- Don't speak too fast. You must be confident, but if you hurry with the tricks, this can lead to a negative result.
- If you ask too much, your request may be rejected. You didn't ask for anything and think your chances are slim? Treat this person well and when he has good mood, ask for what you wanted. If a person has Bad mood He will probably get even more angry.
- Do not persuade a person to do something if the request does not contribute to his well-being.
- Do not act rashly and do not use inappropriate words in your appeals.
- Once a person finds out that you manipulated them, they will feel extremely uncomfortable in your company. Just think how much you hate pushing goods and services or a passive-aggressive family member.
- Be careful when using persuasion techniques on friends. Sometimes you need to make a decision in your favor and convince others of its correctness. On the other hand, if you do this too often, people may think that you are controlling or manipulating them. This may lead to undesirable consequences.
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