Another frequently asked question associated with the practice of self-love. In many books they write - love yourself! At trainings they say that the reasons for failures are not self-love. But what is it to love yourself? Does this mean that you need to say 200 nice words to yourself every day? Or does it mean that you need to stroke your body every day in front of a mirror? Or should you smile at your reflection?
What do you need to do to love yourself? First, let's understand what love is.
love is a verb
Modern women do not like that in the East girls are married off in childhood. For those who were chosen by their parents. But there is a rational grain in this. Knowing that she has a husband, the girl is no longer looking for anyone. Like a boy, he can study calmly and not be distracted. Indian women say, “You marry the one you love. And we learn to love the one we marry.”
in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, he gives an example. When, after the seminar, a man approached him and said that he no longer loved his wife.
"What should I do?" - he asked
“Love her,” Stephen replied.
“You probably didn’t understand me - I don’t love her anymore”
“Moreover, you need to start loving her. To love is a verb. So these are actions. Take care of her, listen to her, try to understand her. Learn to love her"
This is what modern families lack. Understanding that love is not just a chemistry of hormones that evaporates after 18 months. Love is work, it is labor, it is action.
« Love is long-suffering, merciful, love does not envy, love does not exalt itself, is not proud, does not act outrageously, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; covers everything, believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything. Love will never end…"(Epistle to the Corinthians)
If you look at the points, then:
long-suffering- this means that she is able to overcome feelings of resentment and discontent, and is also able to forgive offensive words, claims, misunderstandings, opposite opinions and attitudes.
Merciful- this is about the fact that love is able to be condescending to mistakes, ready to understand and enter into a position, help and support. Selflessly.
Doesn't envy- that is, Love rejoices in what is, and with the happiness of a neighbor. I have exactly what I need.
Doesn't boast or pride- it means that loving person can easily refuse to be right, stop "yaking" for any reason, in any situation. And it is also about the absence of contempt and arrogance.
Doesn't run amok- this is about the fact that there is no love in tantrums and scandals, there is no love in screaming and assault, there cannot be love in any form of violence and cruelty. After all, sometimes cruelty can be quiet - like, for example, a boycott.
not looking for his- that is, Love is able to sacrifice its time, attention, activities, comfort - for the sake of the happiness of a loved one.
Not irritated- this means that the lover is capable of the way he is, without trying to remake him in his own way.
Thinks no evil- this is about the fact that Love is far from revenge and ideas of justice - an eye for an eye and the like. There is no love in reproaches, injections, sarcastic jokes, jokes.
Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth- that is, a loving person is always honest and truthful. Although the truth is not always beautiful and easy. This behavior is the basis of trust.
Covers everything, believes everything- this is about the fact that Love does not listen to gossip and completely trusts. With all my heart. Love without trust is no longer love.
Total hopes- means that sometimes you can only hold on to hope, and this will save you in difficult times. Even when it seems that there is nothing to hope for, she is able to save.
Endures everything- that is, she is able to forgive truly, with all her heart. Even if a loved one acts badly, ugly, hurts. Love is able to forgive - but not from a position of arrogance, like a mischievous kitten, but from a position of love and acceptance.
Love will never end It means never. Under no external circumstances. No matter how the other person behaves. Love does not depend on how he behaves at all. She just is. Is always.
Love for another person is when I can sacrifice my comfort and rightness for the sake of another person’s happiness (The main thing in sacrifice is not to overdo it, since sacrificing comfort is not the same as sacrificing everything).
To love is a verb.
How is love born?
Love is not a feeling, but an action. This means that it is born when we do something for this, for example, we know how to love pets. Why? Because we invest a lot in them. Care, training, training, again worries, attention. And over time, a strong bond is formed when they become family to us.
The same mechanism works with children. After all, even if the child is not native, adopted, then along with caring for him, love is born. In a few years, we love him just as we would love our own. Why? After all, there is no physiological maternal instinct here?
Love appears when we fulfill our duty to another person. When we . When we do our best. When we give it time and attention.
Love is born from everyday little things - deeds, words, actions, care.
What about self love?
All the same. Apply all of the above to yourself and get a step-by-step guide:
- Make time for yourself. Find at least 30 minutes every day for yourself. When you can do what you love in silence and solitude. Read books, sing songs, pray, draw, take a bath. This is where persistence is important. Not just once a month to leave for a couple of days, but every day to find at least half an hour for yourself. Even if you have small children. Even if you have a lot of work. To love is a verb.
- Take care of your body. The body plays an important role in a woman's life. It is very important to take care of him, help him cope with stress. All women are shown massage. All women are shown beauty salons with manicures and pedicures. Dancing, gymnastics, petal baths, skin care. Make it a daily ritual.
- Take care of your nutrition. What you put into your body is just as important. After all, you want to make your loved one healthier and more beautiful. Then why are you still eating so much junk food? Carbonated drinks, sweet muffin, fried, too spicy… Why are you feeding your loved one junk food and convenience foods?
- Take care of your communication. You wouldn't give your loved one to be eaten by wolves. And you yourself communicate with those people who humiliate you, ridicule you, do not put you in anything. Wouldn't you like companies that will always support and help you? Take care of yourself - find such people (at least virtually - it's easy).
- Do good deeds. Improve the lives of others around you. this will give you a reason to think less about your problems. It will also help boost your self-esteem.
Spare no effort in taking care of yourself. Do not forget about yourself in the flow of everyday life. Do not stick yourself in the furthest corner of your life.
That is what self love is. She is not born once and forever. Love is a constant process of care and attention. But only by knowing this miracle, you will be able to carry it into the world, share it with other people and illuminate the whole world.
Recently a woman came to me for a consultation. Outwardly quite attractive, makes a good impression. Therefore, the question she asked me sounded unexpected to me: “How to love yourself?”. I hear this question from my clients quite often. Moreover, almost every time I have to observe how a bad attitude towards oneself, self-rejection, self-criticism negatively affects people's lives, depriving them of joy and the opportunity to enjoy themselves and the world around them.
To love or not to love… that is the question!
I fully share the point of view that better man treats himself, the more chances he has to become successful and achieve his goals. Having a good attitude towards yourself increases the likelihood of achieving heights, for example, in the professional field. To love yourself means to be in harmony with yourself and the world around you, to feel confidence and your own attractiveness, to respect yourself and your desires, to carry a positive charge felt by the people around you.
Dissatisfaction with oneself deprives a person of the ability to enjoy life, often leads to a lowered mood or even causes . A person who does not love himself cannot love someone else, so a common problem for such people is , inability to build productive relationships with others, lack of friends. Self-loathing is often associated with , which is fraught with dissatisfaction with oneself, one's appearance, lack of faith in oneself, constant tension and a sense of one's own worthlessness.
What does it mean to love yourself?
It is important to understand that loving yourself does not mean being selfish. Self-love is a deep acceptance of oneself as a person, as a person, self-respect and a sense of inner well-being. Self-love in this sense should also not be confused with narcissism, which is expressed through empty narcissism and excessive demonstration of one's Ego to others.
The main desire!
As soon as you decide to change the attitude towards yourself and love yourself, the process of change will begin. However, this is not an easy job, and you need to understand that it takes some time. Love yourself instantly, with a wave of a magic wand, you will not succeed. Make adjustments to your appearance quickly and easily, but truly accepting and loving your inner world can be very difficult. The process of self-acceptance takes time, but how much depends only on your desire and on your willingness to change. So where do you start?
Take care of your appearance
Let's start with what, in my opinion, is the easiest to change and transform - this is your appearance. Very often, dissatisfaction with oneself is strongly associated with dissatisfaction with one's own appearance. Moreover, it can be both real problems and imaginary ones. Many flaws in appearance can be easily corrected the right choice clothing that suits your figure, the use of cosmetics, etc. It is important to keep an eye on your appearance at all times - you do not have to be dressed in the latest fashion in trendy clothes. The main thing is that it should be clothes that you like and add self-confidence, and your overall appearance is neat and well-groomed. Take the extra 10 minutes to iron your clothes, do your hair, apply makeup, and tidy your shoes before leaving the house. Use perfume, choose a pleasant aroma for yourself that will inspire you. Do not neglect accessories: a beautiful watch or a handy handbag will once again evoke positive emotions in you, uplifting your mood and adding self-confidence.
Your mood and way of thinking determines your inner content, and as a result, your view of the world. Dissatisfaction with oneself causes many negative emotions, such as irritation, anger, despair, etc. Tune in a positive way, learn to enjoy the little things and the world will sparkle for you with bright colors (I wrote about how to improve your mood in the article« »
).
Follow your thoughts. Cut off all the negative epithets that come to your mind: “I'm so ugly”, “I'm so fat, I'm just awful”, “I'm a loser, I will never succeed”, etc. With an effort of will, change these phrases to positive ones that add confidence and a sense of inner well-being, for example: “I am special,” “I can achieve my goal,” “I accept myself and love who I am.”
Move forward, don't stay in one place too long. Develop yourself physically (playing sports) and intellectually (reading books, training programs or refresher courses). Find an activity or hobby that you love that will inspire you and fill you with energy and pleasure. Praise and reward yourself for any, even the most insignificant achievements. Learn to appreciate everything in your life. Pay special attention to your strengths - use them as a support to achieve your goals. If it is difficult to find advantages in yourself, ask your friends and relatives for help. Ask them to make a list of your positives. I am sure you will be surprised by the result - others will surely find many advantages in you! Accept compliments and praise - this will help build self-confidence. Learn to treat criticism not as an insult, but as an opportunity to improve.
Accept your past
Very often, dissatisfaction with yourself can be related to what you are experiencing. for some mistakes or events in the past. Try to look at the events of the past not as a failure, but as an invaluable experience that made you stronger, allowed you to become what you are now. The very realization of a perfect mistake is already work on oneself, it helps to understand and become closer to oneself. But it is important not to dwell on it, but to move forward, taking into account the experience gained in my present and future life (I wrote about how to accept my past in the article« » ).
Listen to your desires
Allow yourself to do what you want and like. We are not talking about any illegal actions or asocial acts. I mean inner freedom, the ability to choose, listen to yourself, and not be led by others. When doing something, think: do you really want this? For example, when you buy something not quite necessary in a store, you do it voluntarily, ornot to upset the seller ? Or are you going to a party because you really feel like it, or just because all your friends will be there? There are things that go against your inner beliefs or values, and it's important to notice them. Doing something against your will or violating your principles, you experience unpleasant feelings (tension, anger, sadness, dissatisfaction). They may not immediately become noticeable to you, but as they accumulate, they bring a lot of discomfort and, as a result, dissatisfaction with yourself. Sometimes it is very difficult to distinguish your desire from the imposed one. In this case, it is necessary to develop inner sensitivity and the ability to hear your own inner voice(I wrote about how to do this in the article« » ).
Surround yourself with nice people
Think about the people around you. How do you feel around them? Do they fill you with energy and positive, or do they only cause negative emotions, feelings of guilt or fear, humiliate or suppress you? Do you understand how these people got into your life and why they stay in it for so long? Give up relationships with people with whom communication does not bring you any pleasure and satisfaction, with whom you are uncomfortable interacting. Or try to keep contacts with them to a minimum (if, for example, your relationship is due to functional necessity). This process takes time and requires effort. But if you set such a goal for yourself, you will definitely achieve it. Build relationships with people who inspire you, fill you with energy and positive, from whom you want to take an example and change in better side.
No need to look for a reason to love yourself!If you want to be a happy person - be one! Fill your life positive emotions, good mood, pleasant people, bright events - and you will notice how your attitude to the world and to yourself will change for the better. And the world, in turn, will surely answer you in the same way.
I want to invite all women to a special one. It is about how a woman can love herself, become more confident, cope with life's difficulties to be in harmony with yourself and the world around you! The training program "The ABC of a Woman" can be viewed.
With care for you, gestalt therapist.
My friend and her husband were walking along shopping center. In one of the boutiques I saw an interesting dress. I tried it on for a long time, looked in the mirror and doubted whether it was worth taking or not. As a result, I postponed the purchase until later.
Continuing shopping, periodically recalled:
- What a great thing it is!
The laconic husband muttered:
Why didn't you buy it if you like it?
To which the friend replied:
- Too expensive for me.
After a short pause, the husband asked a very unpleasant but correct question:
- If you don't love yourself, why should I love you?
To love another is to consider him a part of yourself, this is what Buddhism teaches. “Love your neighbor as yourself,” echoes Christianity. Option one: for the right attitude towards other people, it is necessary to develop love for oneself.
Of course, do not confuse self-love with satisfying your needs (shopping, spas, tasty food etc). These are just patterns imposed by advertising, a tribute to the material. But taking care of yourself and your appearance, the ability to please yourself, of course, are the components of this very love.
Signs of self dislike
You definitely don't love yourself if:- You criticize your appearance, notice the slightest flaws, when you look in the mirror, your mood deteriorates.
- Embarrassed when people compliment your appearance: “What are you talking about, this is an old dress!”, “Do I look good? It’s just that the lighting is bad here”, “Have you built? It seems that way because I'm in the dark."
- Do not allow yourself what makes you happy: “It looks like the old one, because the child really wants a new smartphone”, “Dancing? I'm not that old anymore."
- Denying your merit “I didn’t do anything special”, “Just lucky”, “I couldn’t do it without a colleague.”
- Try to please, be good to everyone.
- You always make excuses: for the inconvenience caused, for your achievements, for better well-being than others ...
- You constantly experience shame or guilt: you allowed yourself a piece of cake, but you are not thin anyway; bought expensive lipstick, although money is tight. Beat yourself up if you make a mistake.
- Associate with your successes and failures. You think you have to be perfect in everything. Otherwise, you feel like you are nobody.
- You worry for any reason: why people looked the wrong way, said the wrong thing, whether the neighbor was offended by what the boss thought ...
- They tend to get stuck on old failures and emotions for years: divorce, loss of money, anger, or unrequited love that is long overdue to let go.
- You are afraid to draw attention to yourself, you prefer to remain in the shadows: you never wear bright things that distinguish you in the crowd; possessing good voice, never dare to sing karaoke; having experience and knowledge, you do not run the risk of offering your candidacy for a position or project.
- You think that if a person does not agree with you, has a different point of view, then he does not love you, treats you badly.
- Unable to relax in society important people give exaggerated importance to their opinion of yourself.
What is self love?
Psychologist Nikolai Kozlov said this beautifully: “... This is a natural and joyful concern for oneself, for one's body, mind, soul and spirit. One of the secrets of self-love is in inner joy and in its simple formula, namely: warmth, light and energy. When there is warmth in your soul, when there is light and sun in your soul, when you have energy in your soul and body, you feel love in your soul, you live with love.”Self-love and selfishness, as you might guess, are not the same thing. Selfishness is a rapture of oneself, an exaggeration of one's own merits, a consumer attitude towards people who must confirm that "I am better than they are." Self-love is expressed in the feeling "I'm wonderful - just like them." A woman who loves herself glows with joy. He does not mechanistically perform daily tasks, takes care of loved ones, takes care of himself, but does it joyfully. The inner sun lives in it.
So let's stop digging into the past, blaming our parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters for our troubles. We change the situation in the present!
- Remember all the most offensive, unpleasant, evil things that were once said about you - and put all this negativity into an imaginary basket. Destroy it: throw it away, blow it up, dissolve it, burn it - whatever you like. Do it right - you will feel freed from other people's opinions. You and someone else's opinion of you are two different things.
- Hang ads in prominent places in the apartment:
“I am good by definition. Whoever does not understand this is his problem.
- For at least a month, write before bed:
"I'm good. I am beloved. I can. I am, Lord!” Put the leaf under the pillow, and burn it in the morning.
- Separate your personality from your mistakes and achievements:
“I didn’t pass the exam for the rights (I delayed the quarterly report, I couldn’t be certified) - but this is not a reason to value myself less. It doesn't make me better or worse - I just didn't pass the exam."
Regardless of your actions - you are good, unique, priceless! - Use the “I have a bad ..., but ...” technique:
“I don’t have good borscht, but the cakes are great”; "I'm not good at singing, but I'm an excellent dancer and temperamental in bed."
Try to love your flaws, accept them as part of your uniqueness. Rejoice: they stimulate you to develop. - Divide a sheet of paper in half. In one column, list your positive traits, in the other - what you do not like and want to change. Then cross each negative quality with a thick line, tear off this part of the sheet, tear it into small pieces, burn it, give the ashes to water or wind. Learn the rest of the text by heart and repeat it regularly in the morning (or at night - whichever is more convenient for you). Add a new quality to the list every three days. To consolidate the effect, do this for at least a couple of months.
- Stop criticizing yourself. You can use the exercise "Rubber" - masochistic, but effective. Put on an elastic band on your wrist; as soon as you notice that you are criticizing yourself, talking badly about yourself, click the rubber band on your wrist.
- If you don't like something in another person's behavior, let him feedback. For example, a mother/girlfriend regularly crouches in your ears or forces you into lengthy correspondence and pours negativity on your husband, colleagues, and neighbors. If you love yourself, you won't put up with it. People, of course, need to be accepted as they are, but not to the detriment of oneself. Choose acceptable options to stop useless speech flow:
“Sorry, I'm busy now, the family needs attention. How can I help you specifically? “I understand that the situation is not easy. What way do you see yourself?”; "Let's have a bachelorette party next weekend, shall we? I have to run now."
Train constantly, thanks to this practice you will learn to respect yourself and make others reckon with you. - You can keep a notebook to record your progress. Mark your goals in it and write down daily accomplishments, even the smallest ones. At the end of the week, re-read - and rejoice, rejoice at the achievements, praise, praise yourself!
- Overcome your fears - they are frequent companions of low self-esteem. Do something that you have long dreamed of, but were afraid of: sign up for dancing, singing, drawing; take part in a competition on television; skydive or bungee jump; perform at a corporate party. An adrenaline rush and positive emotions are guaranteed!
- Start transferring knowledge to others: train in dance, yoga, tutor in a foreign language, learn to knit or weave crafts from beads ... Acceptance by others of your authority will give self-confidence and increase self-esteem.
- Go for a massage or body training - this will help to remove the blocks, clamps that have formed in the body as a result of traumatic situations. For example, they wanted to hit someone and did not hit - the hand began to go numb; parents shamed the girl for early manifestations of sexuality or the first intimate contact with a man was unsuccessful - a pelvic block formed, stagnation of blood in the pelvic organs, problems with orgasm, etc.
And about the main
Cultivate a sense of gratitude. We have been accumulating claims for years: the world is not like that, people are not like that ... It can be difficult to feel grateful for what you live, for what you already have. But the grateful one gets a hundredfold!Great techniques for developing gratitude are given by Rhonda Byrne in her book "Magic" - a must read! Be filled with gratitude and joy will come with it.
Cultivate joy, cherish it and cherish it. Without joy, don't push, don't push, you won't have any love for yourself.
Imagine that you have the sun in your chest. Woke up in the morning - and it lit up. We felt that the world has become gray and bleak - turn on the sun, you are the mistress of your house! You can also imagine a smile at the heart chakra or a flower in full bloom.
Your joy will be contagious, people will definitely notice the changes in you and begin to glow in response.
“Love yourself and it can transform the world” (Osho).
It is generally accepted that the absence of such warm sympathy and its expression leads to a loss of inner harmony, an uncomfortable feeling and a lack of simple life joys. A person begins to reproach himself, dig, educate, engaging in all sorts of measures to change and re-educate.
The prevailing notion of self-love and personal comfort zone makes us think how beautiful such love is and what are the terrifying consequences of its absence. We strive in every possible way to acquire this dear feeling, not noticing that we are already endowed with it by nature, and we don’t think about whether it harms or whether it’s time to rename it, or, it’s scary to think, completely eradicate it.
Now let's try to describe a woman who loves herself. What is she? What does it look like? What kind of lifestyle does he lead?
Well-groomed, with skillful make-up and hair, fresh manicure, clean, tastefully selected, expensive clothes, taut and slender body, leaving behind a trail of expensive perfume. Prestigious job worthy wage, knowledge of languages, broad outlook, travel. Such a lady daily catches the longed-for looks of men and the admiring, often envious looks of women. She knows exactly what she wants, she does not waste time, because she cherishes every minute of her beautiful life filled with herself - after all, she loves herself. Does he love?
It is customary to think that such an attitude towards oneself is called neither respect nor reverence, but love.
exhausting workouts, proper nutrition, diets, restrictions, selective relationships with men and selective dating. Solid prohibitions, choice and infringement.
Does it border on love, or what does self-love given by nature do to a woman.
What guides an overweight young lady, greedily eating the seventh cake in front of the TV? What drives her on her way to the refrigerator after six for another cutlet? What makes you eat a greasy sandwich with generously sugared tea instead of oatmeal in the morning? Where does this habit of eating come from? Out of unwillingness to refuse a tidbit. From the inability to say to yourself a firm NO. Because I, beloved, dear, adoring every fold of the stomach, can not help pampering myself. Because… I love myself.
Eating high-calorie and unhealthy foods is easier - no need to seek out original recipes, limit your diet, monitor your diet. Yes, and lettuce leaves, at first glance, do not look as appetizing as pizza with salami. We try to simplify our lives solely out of self-love. Blind and unresponsive - because our body, saturated with cholesterol and fast carbohydrates, is unlikely to reciprocate as the absence of cellulite. Rather, on the contrary.
In order not to deal with the body, there are a thousand reasons for a woman who ... loves herself. There is no money for the gym, no time for training, there is no sports uniform and the possibility of acquiring it, after training, the muscles hurt unbearably, and the result is slow and doubtful. Programs for home workouts are the same waste of time, and soaking up in bed is much more pleasant than charging at dawn. Our NOs are the fruit of blind self-love.
Watching TV is much easier than learning languages and reading books, you don’t have to think, the brain is saturated with useless information, and it seems that there is no longer any place for a reasonable grain, for an informative encyclopedia, for an interesting book, for an entertaining program about animals and nature. The hard drive of consciousness is filled with soap opera characters, tearful stories about someone else's unrequited love, and 0 gigabytes free memory for hundreds of new English words and foreign grammar rules. And by the way, what a boring article, where is the remote from the TV, MY FAVORITE program is about to start.
Receive higher education on their own - labor and time, unless a loving person forces himself to work hard and will he spend precious time sitting in libraries, memorizing objects unnecessarily, straining the convolutions, sharpening with love for himself.
A prestigious job is not for those who love themselves. Faced with the unknown, one has to experience discomfort, expand the usual framework, listen to the admonitions of the authorities, climb the career ladder to the best of their ability. It is much easier to make coffee for a leader who clearly does not like himself, since he chooses a ten-hour working day, a lot of trainings, conferences, new acquaintances as a punishment, and receives a fee with four zeros after the decimal point as a reward. So he needs it, he should be lucky at least in something - I have enough boundless love for myself.
Oh yes, where is the TV remote control and chips, after six hours of overwork in VKontakte, can I finally get a well-deserved, worthy rest.
A man who "ruined his whole life", a dunce, a drunkard and an ignoramus - the choice of a woman who loves herself. And in no other way, she will not allow herself to be an outcast in society, to catch the sympathetic glances of happily married friends and continue to be alone. And how pleasant it is to lament later on fate, which did not love her the way, of course, she loves herself. Otherwise, what can lead a person who remains unhappy for several years, enduring misunderstanding, cardinal divergent views, inattention and absence are forgotten from a man. Apparently, self-love is enough to keep such a relationship.
Looking in the mirror in the morning, carefully examining the person who is standing in front of you, think carefully, what would you like to say to him? And if the daily training “I love myself” has not brought the desired results for a long time, isn’t it time to change the wording or at least think about whether I love myself right?
Evgenia Adamova, founder of the Women's Development Center "Secrets of the Slavyanka", author of training programs aimed at the holistic development of the harmonious state of the Woman.
Today, one can often come across a distorted concept of "I love myself" and it can manifest itself in exactly one of the above ways.
What is the difference between "love myself" and "spoil my body"?
In the second meaning, I pamper my body, we do everything that brings pleasure to our physical body, decorating, washing, dressing and filling with delicious. All this is required by our brain for a conscious choice of the quality of material life. The thoughts of such a person are focused more on the result of the process that he launches, and not on the pleasure of the process itself.
In the first sense, self-love comes from the relationship with your higher Self, your Soul. And interaction in this direction will not allow harming your body with either harmful products, or strict diets, or quarrels with difficult people, and even "burning order deadlines." A person who knows, listens to his Soul and trusts his feelings often changes exhausting work for creative work and devotes his life to studying the process of life itself, and itself as a single whole in this Universe.
The difference is that all the described methods are a manifestation of love for your physical body. And self-love lies in the need to continue to deal with your body, choosing with your mind, suitable conditions for the home of the soul.
We always say that in order to love someone, we must first learn to love yourself. It's so important to set close connection with the most important person in your life - yourself.
The way you see yourself is ultimately reflected in everything you do and every relationship you have. Love yourself is when you find peace in the deepest part of your being and you really enjoy being in your own company. I don't think many people know what it really means "love yourself" so I'm going to explain exactly what I mean.
Be gentle with yourself
We tend to be our best and worst critics. We are so hard on ourselves so often that we forget to take a step back and give ourselves a little break. It is normal for a woman to feel sadness, pain and fear. We should not be ashamed when these feelings arise and try to ignore them or mask them. bad habits. Sometimes people think that these feelings are a sign of weakness, but in reality they are a sign of strength.It is important for a woman to be caring for herself, and to allow herself to feel exactly what she feels. While you are experiencing these feelings, remember that you are just human. Life is hard, but if you really want to learn how to love yourself, be gentle with yourself. You are you on the outside.
Don't ignore your experiences
Have you ever noticed that when you ignore or push your feelings away, they tend to come back with such intensity that you almost can't resist being in your own skin? It's overwhelming - to feel unhappy - because these feelings make us think, and think a lot. So a woman must find a way to train her brain and completely drive out these negative thoughts.
Have you ever talked to someone about their experiences in life that made them sad or hurt them? Most often, people respond: "I don't want to talk about it" or "I pretend it never happened." This is a perfect example of someone who does not allow himself to feel the experience of what is or was. Ultimately, they cause themselves even more grief and pain.
How can a woman learn to love herself? She must first understand that her feelings will tell her everything she needs to know in order to love and take care of herself, she just has to listen to them.
Learn how to make yourself happy
You yourself make your relationship with a person more valuable and special. A woman should not rely on her partner or anyone else to make herself happy. You sit perfectly at home on a Friday night and watch TV with a glass of wine yourself, and you are completely satisfied.You are independent and you move to the beat of your own drum. You don't worry if sometimes your partner leaves without you because you know that you need this time anyway. be alone. You love to have something special in your life, but you know that something special can only add value to your life because you are truly happy with who you are.
You must learn to appreciate your strengths
You are smart, compassionate, and you have the ability to see things in a positive light. This is one of your most valuable benefits. In turn, this allows you, as a woman, to see the positive qualities in others, especially the qualities of your partner. You tend to notice the positive things about them rather than picking out their weaknesses.
In order for a woman to learn to love herself, she should focus on her positive aspects and minimize the impact weaknesses on your mood and attitude.
Realize that sometimes you need help too.
You Strong woman but you recognize that everyone needs help sometimes, and you're not afraid to ask for it. You also recognize that it's important for your partner to feel needed in a relationship. If you can't get something off the top shelf in the pantry, you call your partner from another room to come and help you.
In the same way, you must learn to overcome hard times. You understand that you can't always manage on your own, and it's not a problem for you to lean on your partner for help and support. This advice will also help you along the way to learning to love yourself.
You don't have to demand love, realize your importance to the person
Nowhere in your world do you demand to be loved, and you do not demand love in general. You know that love is given and received. You are selfless and give love to everyone around you. You are a woman, and you are in harmony with yourself, you easily express your feelings. You are able to express yourself to your partner with ease. You know that your feelings are important to him. because you are important to him. You understand how this significantly affects healthy communication with your partner.It's so important to realize the meaning and the importance of a woman's love for herself. When you learn to love yourself, you will notice how much easier it is for people to love you and for you to accept that love because you deserve it.
Valery Sinelnikov is a well-known psychotherapist who created unique techniques on psychology, which affect the perception of oneself, wrote one of the excellent books called "How to learn to love yourself."
author— V.V. Sinelnikov
Name How to learn to love yourself
The year of publishing — 2006
Buy a book V. Sinelnikov - "How to learn to love yourself" you can on the partner site "Litres"
How can a woman learn to love herself. Psychologist's advice
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