I constantly worry about what to do. Let's go to the cinema? Why anxiety arises

Hello, friends.

Today you will learn how to stop worrying and also wind yourself up. I already wrote about how the tips from that article will help you not only understand how not to be nervous, but also how to finally not worry about anything. But today, in a new article, I will consider the experience from the point of view of winding myself up. By understanding how to put this mechanism of your psyche under control, you can greatly improve your life and not worry about trifles.

Natural and twisted experiences

In fact, we tend to worry. After all, we are not robots, but living people.

In a person's life there are often difficulties and troubles.

And when faced with trouble, we begin to worry.

To worry means to be protected from troubles. This turns on the instinct of self-preservation, which we need, without it we would simply die. Experience is the reaction of the psyche when the instinct of self-preservation is triggered.

Therefore, it is natural when a mother is afraid for her child if he does not return home late. A husband begins to worry about his wife when she gives birth, and it is difficult for a woman not to worry during pregnancy. We worry before an important meeting, a date, because of work, when we are fired. We fear for our lives when we are threatened. These are all examples of natural experience, and there is no need to get rid of them.

If a person simply experienced these natural feelings, then there would be nothing terrible. But not everything is so simple.

After all, what often happens then. The person begins to wind himself up. He begins not just to worry, but presents unpleasant pictures of events that have not yet come true or events that have already happened, about which he has no information. That is, he still does not know what will happen or has already happened, but he begins to imagine that a disaster has happened, everything is bad and everything like that.

It mostly happens in a negative way.

Everything. An uncontrollable flurry of emotions has begun, which lead to problems, take away our health, and do not allow us to take a sober look at the situation.

Why is this happening?

The egoistic mechanism of our psyche-ego is to blame for everything. she is constantly afraid of something, feels sorry for herself, wants everything to be always good and only as she needs. It's just the way it is.

The ego psyche is also afraid to experience unpleasant emotions, as a result, we are simply afraid of the negative. There is a so-called fear of fear.

For example, a mother, realizing that she is hurt by the fact that her son has not returned, begins to be afraid not only of these circumstances, but of fear itself. "How can I endure this, I will feel really bad, I will be very worried". Instead of acting calmly, she begins to hysteria, lose her head, blame someone for her troubles, without understanding the circumstances. The psyche-ego tends to represent everything negatively. It is so arranged. All sorts of fears are constantly sitting inside us, which come out at the first opportunity.

And this process is dragging on.

And if you worry too often and for a long time, then the body will work for wear and tear.

Natural experiences are not great in strength and usually do not last long, so there is little harm from them. But when we begin to worry, winding ourselves up, then emotions will be stronger and more energy-consuming. If we worry for a long time, we will definitely get sick. And also the psyche will become weaker. With new, even trifling, troubles, we will begin to worry again. It turns out a vicious circle from which it would seem there is no way out.

What to do? But there is a way out.

You just need to stop the egoistic mechanism of the psyche, which starts winding itself up. A wise, philosophical attitude to life, as well as awareness in relation to the uncontrolled emotions of experience, will help us in this.

Be wise

In order for your life to become much better and to stop worrying, winding up emotions, you need to treat it correctly, be wise.

There are wise, well-known attitudes. And they should not be treated with disdain. They are really helpful.

The correct worldview, as it were, calms the ego-psyche, puts it in its place, we really begin to worry less. Thanks to them, ours, as it were, wakes up, spreads its wings. You probably felt it yourself when you unconsciously followed these guidelines, when you had the so-called uplift of the spirit, all the negativity left, and the vital energy increased. At such moments, you just want to enjoy life, create, do the right non-egoistic actions.

This happens because the soul, where beautiful feelings dwell, has suppressed, eclipsed the selfish whims of the ego.

The ego, having subsided, stops generating negative emotions, we stop winding ourselves up. The energy that was previously spent on bad emotions is released, now it can be directed to the right actions. Consciousness is cleared, we begin to think soberly. See how everything is connected. Do you get the gist?

These are the settings:

A happy person is not the one who has only good events in his life, but the one who treats everything that happens to him correctly.

Accept calmly and with dignity any event in your life. If trouble or trouble happened, then so be it. Such is fate. It means that life wants to show you something, to teach you.

Everything in life cannot be good, there will be difficulties and failures.

Difficulties build character and make you stronger.

After the black stripe in life, a white one will definitely go. If you do not accept the hard times in your life and get upset, then the black streak will last longer.

Also accept any feeling within yourself, even if they are unpleasant. Don't be afraid of your fears. Know how to look at them without running away from them.

And other wise attitudes that I often talk about on this blog.

But for some reason, everyone knows these statements, but as soon as problems pile up on a person, he forgets about them and again makes mistakes that he has to pay for.

The thing is that in a person they are usually just in the mind. But it is necessary to feel them, to understand the deep meaning. Only then will they remain in the subconscious and at a difficult moment come out of there, save the situation.

To do this, close your eyes and slowly say these settings. Feel them with your soul, understand the inner meaning.

Well, in order to finally get rid of wound experiences, you need to learn how to control them. What are we going to do now.

How can we not worry about anything with the help of mindfulness

So, to get rid of twisted thoughts and worry less, you need to turn on.

But first of all, stop fighting with yourself, with those experiences that have washed over you. Wrestling is a form of cooperation that leads to unnecessary tension, which means even more problems, both physically and emotionally. And our task is to calm down. To do this, do not fight with experiences, but rather let them be.

It is human nature to do the opposite. He tries with all his might to get rid of unpleasant feelings, begins to fight them. It even happens unconsciously, automatically, one might say without the will of a person. As I have already said, the uncontrolled work of our psyche with its own selfish motives is to blame. She tends to be afraid, she wants to always be good and pleasant. She can't stand bad feelings and tries to hide from them. This is expressed by the fact that a person, struggling with fear during an experience, drives it deep into himself. That is, it displaces from the surface consciousness, where an unconscious person is usually located, deeper into the subconscious. But fear has not really gone away, it is doing its destructive work. And from the depths of consciousness he throws us terrible pictures of events that have not yet come true. This is one of the reasons why a person begins to wind himself up.

All this work of suppressing unpleasant feelings, the development of tension and, as a result, a flurry of new already twisted experiences, goes differently for everyone. Someone is hysterical, the other, on the contrary, falls into a stupor, the third simply does not understand what he is doing. But everyone's consciousness narrows equally, the head becomes clouded, an uncontrollable flurry of twisted emotions is generated.

To prevent this from happening, I repeat, you need to stop and stop the internal struggle.

If you follow wise guidelines, you will calmly accept not only any circumstance in your life, but also any feeling within yourself. The ability to endure any, even the most unpleasant feelings and emotions inside oneself, characterizes the degree of maturity and wisdom of a person.

Let the feelings be. Release them to freedom. Let fear be within you. You humbly understand what you are experiencing, because you are a person with vivid feelings. Continuing our example, the mother understands that she is worried about her son, she comes to terms with it.

Then just close your eyes, turn your attention inward, see what the feelings of experience do with the body. You can feel a chill in your stomach, a lump somewhere inside, or maybe even understand why they say "the soul has gone to the heels."

Thus, you allow the body to naturally worry, do not interfere with it, allow it to do what is characteristic of nature. And then the body, seeing that it is not interfered with, experiences and somehow defuses the inner fears of experiencing. You can also look at the fears themselves from the outside. Create distance between yourself and your uncomfortable feelings. And what happens next when you calmly let your body worry, and look at the feelings from the outside. Experiences will either decrease or even completely disappear. There will definitely be no twisted experiences.

Now the mother, from our example, will be able to calmly assess the situation, call someone, find out something, that is, she can really find her son, well, or humbly wait without tantrums.

If you fail to do all this the first time, do not despair, try again. The power of your awareness is, of course, still weak to stop the flow of uncontrollable emotions the first time.

If, nevertheless, the ego took over, began to throw unpleasant pictures at you, and you started cheating, you just need to catch yourself that you have lost awareness. And then close your eyes and do it all over again.

I think you will succeed.

By getting rid of unnecessary experiences, you will free up a lot of energy and be able to direct it in the right direction. Act, seek, undertake something or humbly wait. The main thing is that now you will have a clear mind, even if natural experiences remain. But the twisted ones, which create problems, will no longer be.

If you always do this when you are experiencing, you will see how much your life has begun to change in better side. And the mother from our example, after she calms down, suddenly hears a bell, runs to open the door and sees her beloved son safe and sound.

All because the law worked:

"Think about the good and good will happen".

And how can you think about the good when uncontrollable twisted experiences are piled on us. Only awareness can stop them, and then we will feel good feelings our soul. After all, that's where they live. And that's the only way this law works. Do you understand?

I think you understand how to finally stop worrying, now you can start living full life a happy and healthy person without twisted experiences.

And at the end of the article I want to add that I myself often worried about everything before and could not stop winding myself up.

I understand those people who are looking for an answer to this question.

I was too sensitive and could not bear the stress. I couldn't help worrying about trifles.

All these experiences greatly exhausted, did not allow to live a normal life. They took strength and undermined health. Later, I began to understand the reasons for such a painful mode of mental response, and now I am sharing with you the knowledge I have gained.

My recipe is this:

You can’t just take it and stop worrying in an instant. You need to gradually increase the strength of the spirit, become stronger morally, mentally, be a wise and mature, conscious person, learn to control your emotions.

What I told you today. And, you can read separately by clicking on the link.

That's all for today.

Good luck to you.

And from the music, let's remember a wonderful composition from Enigma.

Anxiety and stress, even the most minor, but regular, are harbingers of serious health problems.

And the phrase “all diseases are from nerves” can be called quite justified.

So how to calm down and not be nervous, how to protect yourself from the constant pressure of fears and anxiety? How to maintain your health and stop being constantly nervous, teach yourself to be calm?

Why does anxiety arise?

A person begins to get nervous only through the fault of himself, when he overly "winds" the importance of some events. To stop being annoyed, to find inner and outer peace is a serious work on oneself, which is carried out constantly.

It will not be possible to achieve results in this matter with lightning speed. However, there are certain quick-acting techniques and techniques that will teach you not to get irritated and quickly calm down in stressful situations. But more on that below.

What is anxiety and how does it manifest itself? Firstly, it is a combination of unpleasant physiological processes (a person begins to choke, freak out, sweat, lose consciousness).

Secondly, you need to understand that the state of anxiety is a useless and vain experience that prevents a full life and is not a natural state of the body. When a person is nervous and irritated, he cannot keep life in his hands, loses control over it, and therefore:

• The direction of life is lost. Achieving goals becomes impossible, as the fear of failure suppresses and weakens.
• A person seeks to calm down through easily accessible means. Often harmful: alcohol, cigarettes, tonic or sedative drugs.
• Decreased brain performance. The body spends all the resources on anxiety and nervousness, the concentration of attention falls, and the performance of assigned work or other tasks becomes ineffective.
• The stress to which the body is subjected leads to severe fatigue. Exhaustion and, as a result, diseases.
• The person loses control over their behavior. Facial expressions, gestures, voice, intonations, which leads to social collapse (failure of negotiations, failures on dates due to this problem).

To understand how to calm down and stop being nervous, you need to identify what, in fact, is why you can no longer maintain control over your life. Why are you constantly in a lot of tension, what exactly irritates you, makes you worry and get nervous?

It's all about needs

From the point of view of scientific psychology, in order to stop freaking out and getting annoyed over trifles that gradually develop into major problems, you need to determine in which area the cause of irritation lies.

There are six such areas in total, each of which can become a significant reason for disturbing a person’s peace of mind if he is overly obsessed:

1. Egocentrism. The basis of this need is the need for approval, recognition, if you take the extreme - in adoration, admiration.

It is on the verge of this extreme that a person becomes overly sensitive to criticism in his direction, which leads to anxiety, makes him nervous and irritated. For example, a disapproving glance is completely stranger or the dissatisfaction of the waitress in the cafe, who is rude at the checkout with disdain.

2. Love for pleasure. Excessive craving for pleasure makes a person lazy and irritable when it comes to business and duties. And he will not calm down, will not find harmony until his need for pleasure and entertainment is satisfied.

3. Passion for perfectionism. A person forgets that perfection is, in principle, unattainable. And he begins to get nervous for any reason: he becomes unfair to himself, relatives, colleagues or subordinates, and therefore constantly experiences stress and cannot control himself.

4. Too much independence. People who come to the conclusion that they cannot fit into any framework, sooner or later begin to experience minor irritations that develop into neuroses. They are caused by a normalized work schedule, schedules of institutions, etc.

5. Excessive love for speed. This means the daily race to try to do everything. It is often extreme to fail to realize that the work should be done gradually, and not in two days without sleep.

Failure to complete the task at hand in one "set" can lead to intense anxiety and irritation. And then you will increasingly begin to be tormented by the question of how not to be nervous at work.

6. Excessive need for intimacy. Such people tend to turn all relationships into excessively warm ones, including working ones. Such people cannot understand that some prefer to keep communication with business partners and colleagues within the framework of office etiquette.

Knowing the basis of the causes of irritability and anxiety, you can understand how to calm down. And in general, how to stop being nervous over trifles, which in the end can lead to serious problems with physical and mental health.

What other reasons could there be?

The needs listed above are mainly related to such a large area human life, How's your work. Although some of them, such as self-centeredness and the need for excellence, extend far beyond the workplace.

There are a huge number of reasons and reasons for fear, irritation and anxiety. There are more than 200 types of phobias alone.

But the most basic fear that makes us nervous and worried every day is the fear of error or failure. We worry that we will look stupid, that we will waste time and energy in vain.

To stop being nervous and calm down will help the recognition to oneself: “I am nervous, I begin to depend on fear, to suffocate from anxiety!”. This will be a sure step on the road to acquiring inner harmony and tranquility.

Stop freaking out - start living!

So how do you learn not to be nervous and not to be afraid to make a mistake? How to find peace, harmony with yourself and the world around you?

There are many complex techniques that have been practiced by psychologists and psychotherapists for years. Based on them, we can highlight the main recommendations and tips on how to calm down, proven by time and experience.

The best thing for this is ... Regular pen and paper! The essence of this psychological technique is to divide problems into those that you can solve, and those that you cannot solve on your own.

The first are written in one column, the second - in another. Thus, a person identifies factors that make him irritated and nervous, and can already consciously approach their elimination.

“If the problem can be solved, don't worry about it. If the problem is unsolvable, there is no point in worrying about it.” Dalai Lama

This technique requires a certain amount of time and complements the first tip on how to stop being nervous over trifles. Recorded problems should be reviewed every 2-3 weeks and noted which of the fears have become a reality.

After 4-6 months, what did not come true will no longer seem possible. By this method, you can teach your mind not to be afraid of obviously unjustified fears.

Love physical activity. Sit less, move more.

Unused energy, especially in the case of mental and sedentary work in the office, can go down a "harmful" path and lead to obsession with fears. Sport is the best prevention of such a loop, it is where you can find real peace.

However, sports are different sports. In order to most effectively deal with irritation and the constant thought “Well, I'm nervous again!”, It is necessary to correctly combine active sports with relaxation exercises. Yoga, meditation and breathing exercises will help you best.

This word refers to everything that makes you create and create. Embroidery, drawing, modeling, inventing jokes - anything. But important rule: this should be of interest to you.

It is especially good if you divide the types of creativity according to needs.

The following hobbies will help you calm down:

• For those who are always in a hurry. Working with small details, which a priori cannot be done in one sitting (embroidering large paintings, collecting large models, designers, growing plants can teach calmness).
• For those who are overly absorbed in self-love. You should start caring for other people and animals.
• For perfectionists, drawing in an abstract style can be a salvation. Creating amorphous sculptures can teach that the view of perfection can be different.

• For those who love freedom the best option may be the acquisition of a pet, best of all - a dog. You will have to walk with her, you will need to take care of her.
• In pursuit of pleasure, any hobby that requires a lot of time will help.
• For those who are looking for intimate relationships with everyone, one of the options for a hobby that will help calm down is acting. It will be able to teach that in the world there is not one single role of a kind of "universal friend."

How to stop being nervous for any reason? Walking relaxes, calms, takes you out of your comfort zone, leaving little time for worries.

There is no cure like a quiet walk through beautiful park with your favorite tunes in the player's headphones! Problems are solved, and irritation recedes when you begin to devote more time to yourself and your interests.

How to cope with yourself in a stressful situation?

It is often necessary to remain calm and not freak out here and now. Indeed, you can stop being annoyed and learn to overcome anxiety even in the most difficult situation.

Among the effective express ways of how to stop being nervous for any reason, we can name the following:

1. If you understand that you are starting to get annoyed, suffocate, lose control over yourself, immediately stop dialogue with the “irritant” or engage in an annoying business. Leave the room for a few minutes.
2. If this is not possible, close your eyes and admit mentally "I'm nervous for nothing." Count slowly to ten, inhaling deeply and exhaling. Imagine a cloud of smoke inside you, which is your aggression. Imagine that with each exhalation, this cloud comes out through the mouth, nose and ears, becomes smaller and evaporates.
3. Pour yourself some water. Preferably a full glass. And slowly, stretching, drink everything to the bottom, convincing yourself "I begin to calm down and realize the small significance of what is happening."
4. Get distracted by the little things. Look at the flowers arranged in the office, at the expression on the faces of colleagues, at the outfit of the secretary. Think "I'm starting to calm down." When you close your eyes for a few seconds, it becomes easier.
5. Do exercises, quickly run up the stairs, walk around the office back and forth, start doing some other exercises. As stated above, exercise stress- one of the best relaxants. Even minimal.
6. If possible, find contact with water. Washing dishes, contemplating a pond, an artificial waterfall, a fountain in the corner of the office or in a nearby park. Water is relaxing. It is a fact.
7. Think about what is worse for someone. That things could be so much worse with you. Admit to yourself, "I'm nervous about the little things."
8. Find the benefits in the current situation. Everything has its pluses, you just need to start noticing them, paying less attention to the minuses.
9. Laugh. This will help you calm down. If you are in the office, go to the toilet and laugh while looking at yourself in the mirror for 5-7 minutes.
10. If laughter did not help, then you can cry. Tears are one of the most powerful releases of tension. After them, the soul always becomes a little easier.

In the above tips, anyone will find the answer to the question of how not to be nervous over trifles. Start living a calm, happy and full life. Everyone can learn to go to the goal without irritation and anxiety.

And you don't have to be afraid to do so. It must be kept in a cage with massive rods. When you become stronger than him, you will stop being annoyed and nervous for any reason.

I will explain how to keep calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous at all, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and how strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

Nervousness and jitters, this is the feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and just worry about every little thing. It is important to understand that nervousness has both psychological and physiological causes and appears accordingly. Physiologically, this is related to the properties of our nervous system, but psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experiences, an overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. The fear of failing, of looking inappropriate in front of people, all of these make us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. A necessary defense mechanism or a hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, there may be tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, I want to occupy my hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you out? Do they help you deal with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or talking on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is - of course not, and moreover, it can screw up the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand to yourself that the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply some kind of mental mechanism fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why remove it? Because when you're nervous:

• Your thinking ability is reduced and you find it harder to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires the utmost mental resources
• You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or a date
• Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.
• If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (meanwhile, a very significant part of the diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
• You worry about the little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost concentration. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

• Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
• You can get rid of it by working on yourself
• In everyday life, there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You have to set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and it's real!

Don't think that I'm just arguing about something I have no idea myself. All my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24 I experienced big problems with the nervous system. I could not pull myself together in stressful situations, worried about every little thing, even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges, “panic attacks”, dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, it’s impossible to say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but anyway, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I'm on the right track and there are dynamics and progress, I know what to do. In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and only tell about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I would not have begun to remake myself, all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

Lesson 2. Are those events that you consider so significant and important?

Think about all those events that plunge you into nervousness: your boss calls, you pass an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a fight on public transport or on the road in a lifetime, and is it terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distract from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into real trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries. This mental attitude is very helpful. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before an important event

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our ingenuity, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for your dream job, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize what's ahead of you significant event, but no matter how significant it is, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not to worry arises. This is too much of a responsibility to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be focused and focused and will do my best for this!

Now we bring thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

The simplest breathing exercises:

It should be done like this:

• inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
• hold your breath 2 counts/beats
• exhale for 4 counts/beats
• hold breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

During the exercise, we keep our attention only on the breath! There must be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice, breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also generally puts your nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercises. So I highly recommend.

Okay, so we are ready. But the time has come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4

Depict calm: even if neither the emotional mood nor the breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your current state. The expression of outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were previously in bad mood. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the more relaxed you want to seem, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Are your eyes not running? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them go astray and take you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Pull in your hands ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Do you tie the big toe and little toe of your left foot into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in a chair, we do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

That's actually all. All of these principles complement each other and can be summed up in the slogan “watch yourself”. The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with an answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. No need to try to impress everyone accessible ways, you will produce it anyway if you do everything right and don't worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgot and move on.

Lesson 5

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. All the same principles work here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think a lot about the past event, I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, and if I spoke like this and not like that, oh, how stupid I looked there, oh, I'm a fool, but if ...! Just get rid of all thoughts from your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it for this lesson.

Lesson 6

This is a very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

I remember when I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, went to the exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. Often went to retakes. As a result, during the session, I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic amount of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that’s how much everything had piled up, how hard it was, eh ... Although it was my own fault if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and that I would be taken into the army if I I won’t hand over something, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I'm talking about the fact that you should try not to create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have in mind ready plan, but several are better! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of rest. And the next thing I will talk about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, being calmer and more relaxed. These methods are focused on the long term, they will make you less stressed in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

• First, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to meditate regularly. It is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I won't dwell on it.
• Secondly, go in for sports and carry out a set of measures that support recovery (contrast showers, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy mind in a healthy body: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
• Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.
• Do breathing exercises.
• Throw bad habits! Learn to relieve tension without cigarettes, without alcohol and other things. Look for healthy ways to relax!

A source

Feelings and worries are an integral part of our life. Sometimes they are a stimulus that motivates people to act, and sometimes they are destructive to people, posing a serious threat to health and well-being. It is a paradox, but as civilization develops, the number of events and objects that may seem potentially dangerous increases more and more. In people with a weak, unstable psyche, they cause a storm negative emotions accompanied by nervousness and fears.

In order to stop getting upset over trifles, and learn how to effectively resist the “temptation” to get nervous, you need to understand the nature of your experiences. Most restless people admit that they are “forced” to stay in this unpleasant state by anxiety for the health and success of their loved ones; for mistakes and oversights made at work; for the safety of property; for relationships with relatives and colleagues ... this list can be replenished indefinitely. All fears and experiences can be divided into two groups.
The first group is worries about the danger that really threatens life, health, well-being: the mother's anxiety about a seriously ill child; the feelings of the victims of the fire about where they will live in the near future; the unrest of a person who finds himself in a strange city without a livelihood; thoughts about the upcoming difficult exam. Such experiences, having an objective nature or accompanying events that have already occurred, are necessary. They help a person to mobilize all forces to solve an existing problem. In such situations, anxiety is temporary and disappears as soon as the problem is resolved. The person returns to a quiet life.

The situation is quite different with the second group of experiences associated with a non-existent but expected danger: anxiety due to the fact that the mobile phone of a son or daughter does not answer; that the boss did not say hello in the morning; that the husband stayed at work longer than usual; that the neighbor didn't invite her to her birthday... Behind each of these occasions, there seems to be a tragedy, a catastrophe that is about to happen. In reality, nothing bad happens, because there are no objective prerequisites - they exist only in a person's imagination. But vain unrest, as a rule, does not pass without a trace, being a fertile ground for the development of all kinds of neuroses.

It is easy to see that many are often nervous even in those situations that do not have this at all. When life passes against the backdrop of such groundless worries and experiences, a calm worldview changes to pessimism, apathy, and the loss of the meaning of life. Neurotic disorders appear.
If you are tired of worrying and being nervous, if constant anxiety deprives you of the joy of life and gives you many painful minutes, it's time to think about how to part with unreasonable nervousness.

1. Be aware of the fact that you are very often nervous not because there are objective prerequisites for this, but because you are used to being in a state of anxiety and no longer know how to get rid of it.
   
2. If you suddenly feel anxiety about something, do not dismiss this feeling, but think through the situation associated with it to the end. Your daughter does not call for a long time, and you decided that something happened to her? But this has happened more than once! Then she will be discharged mobile phone, then she does not look at her watch at all and simply forgets that it is time to call home, or she simply thinks that she is already big and should not report to anyone. So is there a reason to torment yourself? Each time, analyzing the situation, bring it to its logical end, explaining to yourself that another fear is unfounded.
   
3. If you don’t have the strength to relieve nervous tension on your own, talk to one of your friends. But be careful in your choice. The best interlocutor in such a situation will be a person who is sincerely disposed towards you and is an optimist by nature. Such people are able to see the world in its true colors. If such a person says that your experiences are far-fetched, just believe him. Life will very quickly confirm that he was right, and you were not mistaken in trusting such a person.
   
4. Surround yourself with positive people who know how to genuinely enjoy life. Watch them, see how they behave in situations that you think are harbingers tragic events. Learn from them optimism and try to share their most daring and joyful expectations.
   
5. In moments when there is absolutely no one to support you, turn on your favorite tune or movie. Especially for such situations, choose something that can have a calming effect on you.
   
6. Nature is the best healer of the soul. Walk, watch birds, plants, inhabitants of water bodies.
   
7. Live in the present moment. A day or evening of experiences is a day crossed out of life: instead of enjoying any pleasant or useful occupation, you indulged in worries about that bad thing, waiting for which you spent several hours. Isn't it more correct to solve problems as they come, and even more so, not to "predict" them!
   
8. Accept life as it is. Do you not like one of your colleagues or neighbors? But it's their life and they have the right to live it the way they want. Recognize their right! Be surprised if something in them is not clear to you, but do not condemn or neglect. Better, try to understand why this person is the way he is and why this "otherness" of him annoys you, makes you nervous. Most likely, you have created certain models (people, behaviors, relationships, etc.) that the person you do not like does not fit into. Consider if this is correct.
   
9. Love people, nature, the whole world. Love calms the soul, fills a person with confidence and calmness, gives joy and harmony.
   

Work on yourself and you will definitely learn how to save peace of mind and not to be nervous in most life situations.

It has long been established that some people can work calmly under the most severe psychological pressure, while others begin to get nervous over any trifle.

When you need to change your attitude to the world

How often we would like to remain calm, balanced and unruffled under any life circumstances. But, unfortunately, this is not always possible. If, in principle, you react with restraint to most situations, and lose your temper only for serious reasons, then there is no reason to panic. It is vital to change your attitude towards people around you, the world and things in the following cases:

• any situation causes you to have a negative surge of emotions;
• only sedatives can calm you down;
• any conflict causes the strongest feelings;
• solving a non-standard problem drives one into a panic state;
• you ask yourself questions: "how to learn to be less nervous or not nervous at all", "what to do if I suffocate when I'm nervous", etc.

In everyday life conflict situations and all sorts of unpredictable problems are simply inevitable. Therefore, each person must learn to adequately respond to any challenges of the environment. If this is not done on time, then the result will be nervous breakdowns, prolonged neurosis, depression, of which there is only one way out - long-term treatment in specialized institutions, while you will have to swallow handfuls of sedatives.

Why is a person nervous

There is nothing strange or surprising in the fact that people are nervous, since in the modern realities of the high-speed rhythm of life, stress is a familiar companion (at work, in public places, in lines, and even at home). The whole problem lies precisely in how the individual perceives the situations that have arisen, how he relates to them and reacts to them. Quite often people don't realize that the problem is unnecessarily contrived. Mankind likes to exaggerate the scale of conflicts, unpleasant or unusual situations.

A few simple rules to help get out of a state of excitement

Are you wondering "how not to be nervous"? The answer is quite simple and lies on the surface. You just need to change your emotional state for the better. How to calm down and not be nervous? It is necessary to take as a basis, understand and accept one main statement, which is that in fact there are no hopeless situations. There are always at least two solutions to any problem. If you are unable to influence the situation, then you can only change your own attitude towards it. Also, when you get upset and nervous about something, you should think about whether this reason will worry you after a year. Most likely not, but if so, then what's the point of wasting your nerve cells?!

Try to become to some extent, as today's youth likes to say, indifferent, and then the result will pleasantly surprise you. You will notice that the world consists not only of white and black, but also saturated with all the colors of the rainbow. You need to learn to look at the situation from a different angle. Have you been fired from your job? So it's wonderful - you were given the opportunity to find a new, more promising or interesting job. When you begin to react in a completely new way to emerging unpleasant situations, then after a while you will understand that there are simply no reasons for excessive worries.

How not to be nervous

First of all, it is necessary to introduce a rule for yourself: to solve any problematic issue immediately after its occurrence. Do not postpone their decision indefinitely, as this leads to excessive excitement. After all, unresolved issues tend to accumulate, and over time you will acquire new cases. This will lead to confusion. You won't know what to grab first and what to put off. Naturally, such a suspended position cannot but affect the emotional and mental state.

How to be less nervous

You need to learn to stop feeling guilty towards people if you do not act as they would like, to stop depending on the opinions of others. Whatever the situation, you must put your own psychological comfort first. Don't strive to be good to everyone - that's just not possible. Even gold is not loved by everyone. If you refused to satisfy someone's request, then you do not need to reflect on this. If you did so, then you had a reason to do so.

How to learn to remain calm and self-control

One of the simplest, most reliable and affordable methods to quickly calm down and stop worrying about trifling things is walking. A daily promenade, in addition to psychological comfort and harmony with yourself, will give you a great mood and positively affect your physical health.

Shoots great negative influences stresses and experiences contemplation of fire and water, animal behavior, as well as communication with wildlife.

If you have an acute question about how not to be nervous at work, you need to solve it immediately! To begin with, try to keep an aquarium with fish, and in situations that make you nervous, watch them. If this is not possible, the aquarium can be replaced with a plant. Get the flower you like and take care of it. Watching plants in pots gives people a sense of peace and tranquility.

Other ways to deal with psychological overwork

If you are haunted by an obsessive question: “I’m very nervous - what should I do?”, You need to remember the words of the old musical work, familiar to many since childhood, “The song helps to build and live.” Singing is one of the most simple and effective ways withdrawals nervous tension. You can sing while getting ready for work or back home, taking showers, or doing other daily activities. The main thing here is not to think about whether you have a voice, whether you hit the notes or how developed your ear is. You sing for yourself! At this time, all accumulated negative emotions are released.

An equally relevant way, especially for those who are indifferent to animals and plants, is to take a relaxing bath. To achieve a quick and 100% effect, it is recommended to add various aroma oils or sea salt with various additives that suit you.

Have you tried all of the above methods, and the thought “how to learn not to be nervous” is still haunting you? It is necessary to captivate yourself with some kind of hobby, become interested in something, switch from the useless solution of unsolvable problems. Alternatively, you can start painting or collecting stamps.

In extreme cases, you can resort to the help of pharmaceuticals. If you feel that you are on the verge, purchase sedatives at the pharmacy. The latest today - a dime a dozen! Starting from valerian, motherwort tincture and Corvalol, and ending with the now "promoted" sedatives "Persen", "Novo-Passit", "Cipralex", etc. But do not forget that these are drugs, and their uncontrolled intake can give rise to lots of problems. In addition, many of them are available by prescription. Therefore, it is still necessary to pay a visit to the doctor first. A qualified specialist will advise you on a remedy that is really effective in this case. If there is no time for trips to hospitals, consult at least a pharmacist.

Learning not to be nervous in the work team

Colleagues shun you, because they consider you not always an adequate person, the authorities do not trust new projects, you are tortured by the same obsessive question "how not to be nervous at work"? Remember: there is a way out, and not one!

Quite often, misunderstandings at work, perpetually dissatisfied management, nervous "always right" clients lead to stressful situations. At first, overstrain manifests itself in constant fatigue, then in increased irritability, and as a result we have a nervous breakdown. To prevent this, follow a few simple recommendations:

Did you know that a good imagination is the source of problems?

Situations that can be described by the words “very nervous” are quite familiar to people with creative imagination. It has long been established that people with good developed imagination are much more likely to be agitated than subjects who are completely devoid of fantasy. This is due to the fact that mentally solving any problems and analyzing options for resolving the situation, they very vividly imagine a picture of a possible development of events. And these pictures are quite convincing. People begin to worry, experience fear and panic. The fear felt by such subjects is of an irrational nature. However, for people with a vivid imagination, the possibility of a worse course of events is transformed into an expected reality. The only thing that can help in such a situation is a kind of auto-training. You need to constantly repeat to yourself that so far nothing terrible has happened, which means it is unlikely to happen in the future. Therefore, this fear is premature.

Paper will endure everything

A well-established method that solves the problem of “how not to be nervous” is the method of transferring troubles to paper. Most people worry more about non-existent, far-fetched problems. They are haunted by obsessive thoughts that take away a lot of strength that could be directed in another direction. Therefore, many psychologists advise putting all your fears and anxieties on paper. To do this, take an ordinary sheet and divide it into two halves. In one column, write down all the problems that you can solve on your own without the help of other people. And in the other - fears about situations that you cannot influence. For example, the fear of a possible terrorist act. Transferring irrational fears to a piece of paper allows you to come face to face with them. This leads to the fact that a person understands that he is not able to change anything, so he stops worrying in vain.

Love will save the world

Everyone around knows and accepts the statement that the world is far from perfect. But why then do many people not want to give themselves the right to make mistakes? Nobody's perfect. People don't have to be perfect. We love this world with all its shortcomings, negative sides, so why can't we love ourselves the way we are? Self-love is the basis of harmony and peace of mind.

Love yourself with all physical and psychological shortcomings, direct your internal energy not to anxiety, but to creation. Do something you've never tried before, like start embroidering. This type of needlework requires perseverance and measured movements, which contributes to inner relaxation. And then the question "how not to be nervous" will never again arise in front of you!