How to keep calm in a conflict situation tips. So what are the benefits of being calm?

24.09.2019

Posted On 03/15/2018

Psychology6-04-2015, 17:59Alexandr3 093

Why is it that one person in any situation is able to remain calm and confident, while another in the same circumstances is subject to the full range of manifestations of anxiety and anxiety? This can be seen all the time - it even happens that brothers and sisters growing up in the same conditions show completely different reactions.

In many ways, our reaction to circumstances is determined not only by experience, but also by innate data. However, regardless of the initial genetic data, experience and other factors, each of us sometimes needs to be able to remain calm in any conditions. How can this be done if nature, instead of an impenetrable character, on the contrary, endowed it with increased sensitivity to the events of the surrounding world?

First, you need to be able to live your emotions and accept them.

It is not necessary, especially in a critical situation, to try to abstract from fear or anxiety. By suppressing our reactions, we can only increase them. Of course, in order to have the proper degree of effective self-control, one cannot do without preliminary preparation. Regular practice of meditation can be a good help in this matter. But it may happen that you do not feel sufficiently prepared to, like detached yogis, calmly observe everything that happens from the side.

In this case, it is better not to suppress your feelings, but to accept them. Try using a method from the field of emotional-image therapy. Briefly, this method is as follows. It is necessary to imagine your experience, endowing it with some physical appearance. It can be any image - a gray spot, a red button. For some, fear personified even takes the form of a melted rubber tire. Then you need to ask this image a question: what does it need?

Maybe he wants you to send him some warmth or positive energy.

Imagine gentle rays of acceptance and kindness moving towards your fear. This will help not to fight the emotion, but to accept it as part of yourself.

At the next stage, when the feelings of anxiety and anxiety have already lost their sharpness a little, you can try the method of distraction. Since staying calm in any situation can be required at any moment, you need to determine in advance which method of distraction will suit you best. First, it's always good to use your imagination. To do this, you need to imagine yourself in a good, pleasant place, far from the current worries and worries. It can be memories of a vacation or a visit to relatives. Most importantly, the pictures in your imagination should be detailed and bright, with the maximum amount of detail - smells, sounds, interior details or landscapes.
Good music can serve as another way to get distracted. Some of those who suffer from heightened anxiety often keep a list of their favorite uplifting tunes ready with them. They help to gather in time and give strength of mind - as well as temporarily disconnect from stressful situation.
Another in a good way is an account. You can count buses that have arrived at a stop under the window, or cars of a certain color; or, for example, add or multiply two-digit numbers in your mind. Thus, you will switch the focus of excitation of the cerebral cortex to the area that is responsible for logical perception, thereby reducing anxiety.

Take a break from the situation.

When you are under pressure, you must immediately pause and take a step to the side. After all, it is in the most tense moments that we most need space for maneuver and time in order to consider further actions. After detaching from the situation physically and emotionally, try to clarify for yourself why these circumstances are stressing you. Ask yourself the following questions:

Why did I suddenly feel restless?
Was there any trigger that had provoked me earlier to these feelings?
Is my current view of the situation adequate? Am I interpreting events correctly?

Sometimes the things that evoke our emotions are nothing more than phantoms. You can feel pressure, but it will come more likely not from the outside world, but from within. This is an illusion.

Always be careful.

During a stressful situation, it is very important to maintain attention to detail. It is in them that most often the answers to many questions are hidden, as well as the possibility of solving problems. Attention to detail also helps to control yourself. Look at your behavior, the behavior of other people, the events of the outside world that are happening around you. In a state of anxiety, all events are mixed into one big lump, consisting of questions and unresolved tasks. By paying attention to the little things, you will be able to gradually divide reality into small parts again, which will also help fight anxiety.

Use uplifting statements.

It is critically important in a stressful environment to try to maintain a positive outlook, since it is impossible to be calm in any situation if the mind is full negative thoughts and settings. To do this, you need to properly build your internal dialogue. The way you address yourself in tense circumstances can both calm you down and further fuel fear and panic.

How to stay calm in any situation: 10 tips

Remember, the winners write history, and the winners are people with a cold head, heroes with boiling blood, lying in the ground.

Think of all the people around you as a means to your goals, or as garbage that needs to be cleaned up. Do not take them seriously, no matter how cynical it may sound, but they are all just clowns in a circus called life. Understand that the behavior of any person is based on achieving his goals, you cannot cooperate with a person who does not have personal interests, because in this case, either he skillfully hides them from you, or you do not see them because of your own carelessness. And if it is so, then in this life there will always be a place for envy and selfishness, so you don’t really need to be offended by other people, and naturally you shouldn’t lose your temper, disturbing your mental balance due to someone else’s behavior. Keeping your head sober is not so difficult in fact, because if you understand people's motives, know their reaction to various stimuli and clearly see their desires, you will understand the pattern of their behavior and will not react too painfully to it.

Let's say you have some hater who, because of his hatred, if possible, tries in every possible way to spoil you. Seeing this self-hatred, you can draw rough, but very objective conclusions that he is jealous of you, does not understand you and is afraid of you. And if it is so, then why should you be nervous about this, it is much more reasonable to use this hatred to your advantage, deciding in advance how to deal with such a person. For example, you can negotiate with him, because he himself subconsciously wants it, since you are interesting to him, because hatred is quite a lot of attention from one person to another. So if someone hates you, then someone is too interested in you. You can also remove such a hater from your life by finding such an opportunity. The main thing is that knowing about self-hatred, you can, if necessary, be the first to strike at your potential offender. It all depends on your prudence, which you need, but which is not and will not be if you do not control your emotions.

Think and reason more, and react less to the behavior of other people. Look for options like in chess, there are always and everywhere workarounds if you are not allowed into the front door. And be prepared for defeats, if you always and everywhere want to win, then you must be able to lose. Japanese samurai you can hardly call it cold-blooded, if he makes himself hara-kiri after the first failure, his honor and dignity are really not needed by anyone except him. People come and go, but the winners remain, and they win thanks to their calmness and prudence. Never forget that life does not stop, it goes on, time has a terrible power that only a mentally balanced person can acquire, not reacting, but reasoning, not succumbing to provocations, but using them. If you were fucked today, this does not mean that you were fucked once and for all, tomorrow you can fuck everyone and everything, if you only think and calculate everything carefully. The last is always remembered, and if in the end you are the winner, then only losers and envious people will dig in the past, which, as I already told you, don’t care.

Composure is developed due to the understanding of things and farsightedness, I once again draw your attention to this, it will be difficult for you to lose your temper if you think in dynamics and do not pay attention to beings below you, which can be called everyone. Being a mentally stable person is very important, no matter how smart you are, if you are easily pissed off, then you are subject to mental manipulation, and therefore this is your weakness. Develop composure and calmness in yourself, using the simple methods that I described, there is nothing complicated about it, you won’t need any sedatives and alcohol if you understand and see that there are simply no reasons for anxiety and nervousness, this is an illusion that environmental factors trigger you.

The basis of all stresses and neuroses is the impasse of a person in solving the tasks assigned to him. But any task is solvable, and therefore look for an answer, you will certainly find it. And you will never lose your temper if all the problems and tasks that you face are solved. You must understand this, for the sake of your mental balance, so that your emotions do not cloud your mind.

HOW TO DEVELOP AND KEEP COOL BLOOD

1. Try not to be dramatic

Never make a big deal out of problems. Calm down, pull yourself together and soberly assess the situation. Follow the course of your thoughts. Don't let them take you in the wrong direction. Think that what happened is not at all scary, that you can solve the problem, easily get out of this situation. Get in a positive mood. So it will be much easier for you. Don't panic by any means.

2. Think before sharing a problem

So, you want to understand how to develop composure. First, break down your problem. Think it over on your own, weigh all the pros and cons. Determine exactly which way of solving the problem you consider the most successful. Do not rush to report the current situation to everyone around you.

Think it over for yourself first! Immediately telling all your friends, you will give them not quite correct, exaggerated information. We can say that you misinform them and, of course, their view of the situation will not be objective.

Tip 1: How to stay calm in any situation

Calm down, think for yourself and only then, if necessary, share with others.

3. Discover visualization as a way to stay calm

Each of us can learn to solve our problems without panicking. To do this, you need to understand how to develop composure. To do this, you need to learn to imagine the most difficult life situations as a tangled knot that can always be untangled. The more nervous you are, the tighter the knot will tighten. And as soon as you relax, there will be a great chance to unravel it, which means calmly solving your problem.

4. Realize that you can control your emotions

Learn to control your emotions. No need to panic, scream, throw a tantrum. Learn to calm down and take control of yourself. No need to wave your arms and run from corner to corner. Just try to relax and breathe calmly. You will succeed if you try.

5. Create a calm environment

Try to get rid of all the irritants around you. Everyone has their own. It can be noise or, conversely, silence, people around, even the closest ones, conversations around and much more. If necessary, stay with yourself, think carefully, focus and try to find a solution to the problem.

6. Pay attention to the soul

Depending on your religious preferences, meditate or pray.

Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help control your busy mind.

7. Get distracted

Instead of thinking about the same things, do something interesting, exciting, or creative. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.

In cold-blooded thoughts, one can dissolve hatred and turn it into purposefulness (Erich Maria Remarque)

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How to keep a person calm in any situation, if excessive emotionality leads to undesirable consequences? Often it is difficult for an individual to cope with anger, hatred, aggression on his own, and he does not know what to do with these feelings. Staying calm in stressful situations will be easier if a person realizes for himself the need to control his own emotions. With "hot" you can say and do things that a person often later often regrets. In addition, if an individual in a critical situation succumbs to anxiety that overcomes him, then his ability to think logically, to accept rational decisions and sharply weakens the ability to act correctly.

At the first stage of learning to gain calmness, psychologists recommend learning to remain calm in minor situations when the individual is not yet fully possessed by negative emotions, and then move on to train and learn in more serious and significant disputes or conflicts.

Often people notice behind themselves that it is very difficult to maintain inner peace when every trifle is important in life and therefore circumstances easily unsettle.

But if you develop a somewhat philosophical view of things, you can learn to remain calm in any situation.

How to always keep calm? Psychologists advise working on your self-esteem. If a person believes in his own strength, then he gains the conviction that he will cope with any situation that can happen in his life. And vice versa, if an individual doubts himself and sets himself up for an unfavorable outcome of any undertaking, then it is difficult for him to deal with life circumstances and at the same time not be nervous.

Keeping calm in stressful situations will be possible if a person gets rid of the bad habit of dramatizing events that happen to him and forbids himself to wind himself up.

An individual who wants to learn how to remain calm needs to direct his wild fantasy in a more productive direction, and not mentally scroll through unfavorable scenarios in his head, since such an attitude will only add anxiety and worry. If a person feels that he is giving in to panic, then you should stop and think logically, what is the reason for this condition.

Psychologists strongly advise you to monitor your thoughts, because often a person is nervous and worried in situations that do not threaten him with anything. If an individual has such a tendency, then one should imagine the most favorable scenario for the development of events and think in a positive direction. So a person can be sure that nothing threatens his life and safety, and with the rest of the troubles, if they arise, he will be able to cope on his own, because in a truly critical situation, the body's internal reserves mobilize themselves. This is a protective function of the body, so there is no need to be afraid of what has not happened yet, since it is the far-fetched inner anxiety that is an obstacle to peace.

There are various ways to stay calm, and one of them involves thinking of a contingency plan in case of failure. Most likely, it will not be needed, but the realization that there is a way out gives a feeling of calm and confidence. And if failure overtakes, then you should immediately begin to act on the backup version of the strategic plan.

How to remain calm in a conflict situation, which are not uncommon in a person's life.

Stay calm in any situation: 3 main rules

The individual now and then faces rudeness, injustice and irritation of the surrounding people and it is very difficult to remain calm in these cases. Often you want to pay back with the same coin, but it would be better to refrain, so as not to complicate the situation. Responding to the negative, the individual will receive only a new portion of anger and aggression, and his life will be even more filled with disappointment and anger. In the end, everyone will lose from this. Learning to control yourself in such situations is difficult, but it is necessary. For this, no matter how difficult it is, it is important to always be in a good mood.

You should try not to dramatize life situations, and not give in to the impulse to exaggerate the negative;

Required to use in your vocabulary as often as possible the words “I am stronger than this”, “I can handle it”, “it's okay”; such verbal formulations will help to look at the existing problem in a different way;

Before sharing a problem with anyone, you need to think and not tell it to all your friends; you should digest it yourself in order to calm down; well-meaning friends may show more sympathy than necessary, which can further upset;

You should mentally visualize your calmness (become a calm and calm person in your imagination);

It is necessary to determine for yourself those factors that make a person lose self-control and control over himself. Knowing personal stimuli and avoiding them will help a person stay calm throughout the day;

It is important to learn to control your emotions, for this you should remember the moments when a person could remain calm in a difficult situation;

It is impossible to respond to attacks in a state of irritation, it is better to remain silent until calm comes;

In any situation, always look for something positive;

Having heard criticism addressed to him, a person should find a rational grain in it; if it is difficult, then you need to ignore what they say;

It is necessary to develop a positive attitude towards people;

It should be remembered that the negative emotions that have engulfed are harmful, first of all, to the person himself, therefore, if a mistake is made, this should be recognized;

To calm yourself down, you need to listen to audiobooks that tune in to a positive perception of life;

If there is such a person who can support the individual, then he should be talked to;

Looking at quotes from books can help set a person up for positive behavior;

Troubles in life should be treated as training, the more success an individual achieves in life, the more negative situations he overcomes;

A person cannot be liked by everyone, no one can do it, so it would be better to let go of relationships with some people in the past.

Thus, you can get rid of a heavy burden and communicate more with those who influence a person positively;

To create an atmosphere of calm, you can use calm music or silence, scented candles;

A few deep breaths can help the individual relieve tension, excitement and adjust to a more relaxed rhythm;

Compliance with the daily regimen, a balanced fortified diet will allow a person to be healthy, and therefore maintain inner peace;

Avoiding excessive consumption of caffeine and sugar, maintaining the necessary water balance, you can maintain a calm state of the body;

Daily physical exercise relieve tension, which will allow you to control your feelings;

Meditation, yoga can help to find peace of mind;

In order not to think about the same thing, you need to get carried away with something interesting or creative;

It is important to be able to relax and, if necessary, take a day off to be filled with fresh ideas;

Breathing from the diaphragm - the stomach will help to quickly relieve tension and allow you to calm down in a matter of minutes. While breathing with the belly, the belly rises and falls. It is necessary to inhale through the nose, then hold your breath for a few seconds and exhale slowly.

So, why is it important to learn to remain calm? So that impatience and anger do not exhaust the soul and heart. In order to have time to do more in life, communicate better and live a more purposeful and productive life.

Next note

How to become bolder?

Blessed is he who arouses laughter with his foolishness, for he is a tool for relieving stress.

Augusto Kuri

The number and intensity of stress in our lives is steadily growing and it becomes more and more difficult for people to cope with them, mainly because of their inability to competently respond to negative external stimuli. And there are a lot of these irritants today, primarily because of the high rhythm of life, so a person cannot do without the ability to effectively resist stress. Stress is a protective reaction of the body to an extreme situation, expressed in emotional and physical stress, which requires it to activate large resources necessary to cope with certain circumstances. In this article, we will find out how this reaction can be controlled and thus deal with stress.

It is impossible to live completely without stress, because it is dangerous to turn off the protection of your body from all sorts of threats, both real and imagined, that can cause serious harm to it. But it is certainly necessary to reduce their number and intensity, since they not only make our life less comfortable, but also, at a certain stage of their development, cause serious harm to our physical and psychological health. In this article, I, relying on my professional and life experience, I will tell you, dear readers, about how to deal with stress in Everyday life and how to become a stress-resistant person.

I'll tell you right away, those of you Dear friends If you are already familiar with the information presented in this article in one way or another, and yet cannot cope with stress with its help, that I can offer you something special and unique that will help you cope with stress - this is a stress inoculation. More details about it will be discussed below. For now, in short, I will say that this vaccine allows a person to develop immunity to stress. This immunity friends is your shield from stress, which is a person's ability to self-control in a stressful situation, the ability to accept and solve problems that cause stress, the ability to be joyful and happy in any life situation and the ability to carry out psychological relief when necessary. Thus, if the information below does not help you overcome stress, please contact me for advice. I will give you a stress shot that will make you a more resilient person, and therefore a more successful, more joyful, more confident and happier person. In the meantime, let's see what stress is and why we need it, and how we can deal with it using known methods. Who knows, maybe my article will convey to you useful information about stress in such a way that you can easily cope with it yourself, on your own. To do this, I will try to explain to you all the most significant points in this matter, as best as possible.

So stress. This is not a negative phenomenon, in fact, as many people think, it is, as mentioned above, a protective, and therefore a necessary reaction for our body. Being in a state of stress, our body modifies its vital activity in such a way as to achieve much greater results than in a calm state. When experiencing stress, a person goes through three stages, these are the stage of anxiety, the stage of resistance and the stage of exhaustion. Each of these stages is characterized by certain reactions of the human body to external conditions. During anxiety, the body mobilizes all its internal reserves to resist real or imaginary aggression. At this moment, a person’s breathing accelerates and becomes intermittent, the heartbeat quickens, blood pressure rises, the pupils dilate, the muscles tense up, and a lump appears in the throat. All these reactions of the body are due to the release of adrenaline into the blood, which prepares the body for immediate and decisive action to protect itself from external threats. At this point, a person faces a choice - "fight or flight." In rare cases, a person, due to fear caused by an external threat, may fall into a stupor, but much more often, many people, at the prompt of nature, prefer to run, in other, more rare cases, fight.

The second stage, the resistance stage, forces the body to adapt to the stress experienced. The body begins to get used to aggression and pressure if they last too long, and becomes more resistant to an unfavorable situation for it. This habituation allows the body to avoid exhaustion, thus offsetting stress-induced energy consumption. A person at this stage experiences internal stress, which leads him to anxiety, fatigue, forgetfulness. He decides how he should react to the stressful situation, or how to get along with it.

In the event that the body is no longer able to mobilize in order to find the necessary resources for full resistance to stress, the third stage begins - the stage of exhaustion. A person at this stage ceases to function effectively, his physical and psychological forces are completely exhausted. In a state of exhaustion, people are most susceptible to all sorts of diseases, such as heart disease, peptic ulcers, migraines, skin rashes, and many others. As for the feelings of a person, at this stage he experiences anger, anxiety, irritability, panic attacks, and can fall into a deep depression. In other words, due to the action of super-strong or super-long stimuli, which inevitably cause a stressful state in a person, enormous harm is done to his health, both physical and mental. Thus, friends, stress can be both a positive and a negative reaction, moderately useful and certainly necessary, but with prolonged exposure to our body, it is definitely harmful.

Now, having figured out what stress is and what stages it goes through in its development, let's talk about the fight against it. We will talk about the fight against the very stress that causes irreparable harm to our health and prevents us from enjoying life. The struggle with stress comes down mainly to the struggle of a person with himself. After all, it is obvious that far from always we can significantly influence certain situations that cause us stress, we cannot always avoid these situations, and even more so to foresee them. But to pull ourselves together, try to adapt to each specific situation or change our attitude towards it - we can and should do it.

And for this, we need to develop the flexibility of our thinking. A person must be able to adapt to any conditions and situations, he must be ready, at least morally, for any development of events. The adaptation process, as mentioned above, also causes stress, but this stress is not so much harmful as beneficial for the body, it is just as beneficial for it as the stress that we experience when we play sports or load our brains - such stress makes us stronger. But the stress associated with fear, panic, despair, nervous behavior destroys us, because it causes exhaustion of the body. We need moderate stress that builds our character, not kills us. A person should always be in a little tension - this is a prerequisite for survival in this world. Therefore, in order to cope with stress in the best way, from my professional point of view, I suggest that you, dear friends, get yourself a stress vaccine, which will allow you to develop immunity to stressful situations and improve your adaptive abilities. As you remember, I wrote about this vaccination at the very beginning of the article. Let me mention it again before I give you other, more well-known tips for dealing with stress. Still, the stress inoculation is my own method of dealing with it. Or rather, it’s not even so much a struggle as it is work with stress.

How to inoculate yourself against stress? Or rather, how do I do it, working with people? To do this, a person needs to learn how to periodically immerse himself in a moderate stressful state and, being in this state, learn to competently respond to various threats, as well as solve various tasks that cause or could cause him more stress. So a person will train the flexibility of his thinking, learning to solve non-standard problems with non-standard methods, and develop his adaptive abilities, accustoming himself to unusual and to some extent dangerous situations for him. In a state of moderate stress, I immerse those people who turned to me for help, who themselves cannot, by the force of their will, force themselves to act in stressful situations in the right way. For some people, it is enough just to know how to act in a particular situation, which usually causes them stress, in order to act calmly and competently, without unnecessary nerves and fuss, being in this situation. And someone needs a special psychological preparation to such situations, without which it is difficult, if not impossible, for people to cope with their difficulties, and, most importantly, with themselves. Therefore, someone needs a stress vaccine, and someone can adapt to any, even the most difficult and dangerous situations without it.

Now let's talk about the standard ways of dealing with stress, which many people know about, or at least heard about them, but, unfortunately, they are not always used. You can counteract stressful effects with the help of positive emotions - this is perhaps the best cure for all stresses, and the most affordable one. Agree, it is not difficult to find positive emotions in our life, there are plenty of them everywhere, you just need to set yourself such a goal. You need to start reaching for everything that pleases you, amuses, that gives you great pleasure. You may need the help of other people for this, including specialists - who will guide you in the right direction, help you find in your life positive points and focus your attention on them so that you switch from negative to positive emotions. In any case, this problem is solved. Anyone can solve it. So, dear readers, the more positive emotions you have in your life, the calmer and easier you will endure stressful situations. After all, speaking of the problem of stress, we mean, first of all, emotional stress, and not the adaptation syndrome, which is a set of non-specific changes that occur in our body.

The second thing you need to increase your stress resistance, for a calm and adequate perception of life is the ability to satisfy your basic physiological needs - food, sleep, physical and intellectual activity, sex. Actually, it is a long-term dissatisfaction by a person of some of his vital needs that is the cause of his emotional stress. And in order to counter this stress with the help of positive emotions, it is imperative to satisfy these needs. That is, you will not be able to experience the positive emotions needed to deal with stress if you do not satisfy your basic physiological needs.

For example, if a person is hungry and has not had enough sleep, it will be difficult to cheer him up. In general, everything our body needs - it must receive. Otherwise, a person feels dissatisfaction, which leads to stress.

A very important role in our life is played by other people, on the quality of relationships with which our satisfaction with ourselves and our lives depends, and hence our emotional state. Any normal person for a normal life, from which he will enjoy - needs another person. That is, we all need a loved one next to us, with whom we will feel happy. This is one of our basic needs. We want happiness, joy, love, respect, understanding, and we are looking for all this in our lives, we dream about it. Happiness and joy in life are positive emotions based on our satisfied needs. These positive emotions protect us from stress. Happiness is our shield against stress. And the happier we are, the easier it will be for us to perceive stress. To be happy, you need to love and be loved. So love and be loved - love can work wonders! It will definitely help you deal with stress.

In addition to great and bright love, which makes us happy, and at the same time strong and persistent, able to withstand any difficulties and hardships, each person still needs to achieve certain success in various matters in his life. It is not necessary to succeed in everything, especially since it is impossible to do it anyway. Success must be achieved in those areas that each of us considers significant for himself. Success can be dosed, and often it is just that, since it is impossible to achieve everything at once. The main thing is that a person recognizes his successes and appreciates them, despite the failures that also take place in the life of each of us. All your achievements must be appreciated, and starting from them, strive for even greater achievements, because the winner in life is a happy and self-confident person. Such a person is satisfied with himself and his life, and thanks to self-confidence, he is able to withstand any stress. Small victories, as well as big ones, make us stronger. And you can win in different things, depending on the abilities and desires of each of us, because we are all strong in something. When a person sets a goal and achieves it, he experiences great pleasure and grows in his own eyes. So the more and the more often we achieve success in various matters, the more stable our psyche will be to all kinds of stressful situations. Belief in ourselves, based on our previous achievements, will save us from the fear of many problems and difficulties, and, consequently, from stress.

We have discussed with you, dear readers, the main methods of dealing with stress, using which each of you will be able to adequately withstand various stressful situations that often arise in our lives, without endangering your psychological and physical health. Thanks to positive emotions and the satisfaction of your physiological needs, you will be reliably protected from the stress that depletes your body. So live full life and rejoice in it and everything will be fine with you.

As for other, slightly less significant, but more subtle moments in our lives that affect our resistance to stress, then we also need to pay attention to them in order to make our protection from stress even more reliable. Let's say it's quite obvious that every person should have a place where he can completely relax, rest his soul and body, get rid of all his problems and worries, and generally forget. That is, a person should have a place where he will feel completely safe. He, figuratively speaking, must have a reliable fortress, behind the walls of which he can afford to relax. In this fortress, he will restore his strength and prepare for new battles, that is, to confront life's difficulties. It is also very important for a person to have a healthy, full-fledged sleep in order not only to cope with stress, but also to be effective in life. Some of my clients I've helped manage stress have turned out to sleep so little and work so hard that I'm just amazed at how they were able to do their job well at all with such a lack of sleep. My dears, that's not possible. Do not chase after this money - there will always be few of them, better take care of yourself - rest, get enough sleep, restore your strength. It is better to work a little, but effectively, than to work a lot and wear out. No matter how much you work, as you know, you won’t earn all the money, but you can undermine your health very much by not getting enough sleep and not resting properly. And then nothing and no one will help you cope with stress, not even my magic inoculation. Therefore, take rest and especially sleep very seriously!

In addition to rest and sleep, you, dear friends, need optimism to face stressful situations. Optimism is directly related to those already described above. positive emotions, which are an excellent stress reliever. Be optimistic, do not take life in a negative light and too seriously, treat it playfully and always look for positive moments in any situation. To do this, you need to have, including the flexibility of thinking I mentioned above, in order to use it to see positive moments, and, consequently, opportunities, even in the most unfavorable situations for you. It’s not always possible to do this, I understand this, life sometimes presents us with such unpleasant surprises that you won’t see good in them with all your desire. And sometimes, she just knocks us down, so much so that it can be very difficult to get up after her heavy blow. And yet, you need to try to think wider and deeper in any situation, you need to ask yourself the question - what can be good in all this bad? And it is quite possible that you will see this good - you will see the opportunities that will allow you to turn an unfavorable situation in your favor and thereby get rid of stress. In this world, of course, one must first of all be a realist, not an optimist, in order to make adequate decisions. But since reality is not fully known to us, it is always necessary to keep hope for the best and try to see the good in everything, even in bad things. Then there will be much less stress in your life, and much more opportunities.

How to keep calm? 10 tips for staying calm in any situation

There is no need to be shy about doing this, even if you are a man - this is a natural need of a normal, healthy person, therefore, like all other needs, it must be satisfied.

Just try to share your thoughts and feelings with those you can trust. You understand that there are many people in this life who can use your weaknesses against you. If you do not trust your relatives and friends, contact psychologists. Professionals will always competently listen to you, understand and, if necessary, help with advice, and most importantly, everything you tell them will remain between you, so no one will use your weaknesses against you. Sometimes high-quality psychotherapy can not only save a person from stress, but also make his life more successful. After all, the wrong stress greatly prevents a person from being successful and effective in life, it prevents him from achieving success in various matters, because it takes away his strength and energy. But having coped with stress with the help of psychotherapy, a person immediately begins to feel a surge of strength necessary for him to achieve success. And he starts to change his life in better side. So psychotherapy is a good, proven thing.

If, friends, the standard methods of dealing with stress do not help you, and despite my advice and advice from other psychologists, you still do not know how to cope with stress, then, as mentioned above, you need to get yourself vaccinated against stress. That is, you need to start periodically immersing yourself in a state of moderate stress, which is acceptable for your psyche, and arriving in this state, learn to get out of it on your own, by finding right decisions various problems that you have in extreme situations and pose a real threat to you. Also, while under moderate stress, you need to solve those tasks, the solution of which will help you achieve certain goals, for example, satisfy your basic needs. In other words, with the help of your imagination - immerse yourself in a stressful state, and then get out of it, solving various problems and tasks in your head. By the way, not all people who are looking for an answer to the question of how to overcome stress know about a similar way to solve this problem. That is, not everyone knows about the stress vaccine. Do you know why? Because this vaccination always requires an individual approach to the person - to the client. After all, each person has his own psychological immunity, his own characteristics. And these features must be taken into account when vaccinating him against stress.

Of course, it is not easy to make such an inoculation for yourself, for this you need to have at least good self-discipline and a good imagination. Therefore, it is better to seek the help of a psychologist so that he, with the help of a special treatment program, spends with you necessary work. You can contact me for this purpose. I have special programs that help get rid of stress, I have experience of their successful application too. Therefore, if stress poisons your life, contact us. I will give you a good stress shot, after which you will be reborn, and your life will become much easier and more interesting.

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Perhaps it is worth tying with stress, what do you think? Too many of them. Let's try to learn how to remain calm in all situations that objectively require it?

Tip #1: Praise yourself often

You need to praise yourself deservedly, otherwise it will only hurt. But scolding yourself is not worth it at all, especially in the way that most insecure people do. Leave the punishment for worse times! And until then (and it may never come) - praise yourself for every little thing, if you consider it worthy of encouragement.

Tip #2: Try to ignore other people's anger

Do not take on other people's negative emotions. You don't have enough of yours? If someone is annoyed with you, angry, then do not take it to heart, even if the anger at you is justified. You don’t need to “chew” memories of an unpleasant conversation all day long - just leave these thoughts alone and live on, trying to avoid conflict situations. It's quite easy!

Tip #3: Don't Prove You're Right If It's Not Necessary

You should not foam at the mouth to prove to your interlocutor that you are right, but he is not. Of course, if the conversation is not constructive and you yourself understand the futility of your dispute. Let everyone have their own opinion. In parallel with the opinion, your nerves and good mood will remain with you.

Before getting annoyed with someone, try to understand this person. Yes, for this you need to take a short pause and force yourself to think, but the result is worth it! This simple rule will allow you to avoid many conflict situations and unnecessary nervous strain.

think over possible options development of events in a given situation and draw up a scenario of your actions. Of course, you will not be able to consider all the alternatives, but with due diligence, this method can greatly help you stick to your desired strategy in life. Consider conversations with different people, your responses to comments, criticism, praise from other people. Make your reactions beautiful, most pleasing to yourself.

The more positive your initial attitude towards this or that person, the less likely there is a conflict and, accordingly, anger or irritation on your part. In this world, everything is not so bad as to be a priori opposed to everyone!

Believe me, no one, even your closest people, is obliged to understand you perfectly and, moreover, telepathically. If you get irritated by things like this (maybe you just noticed this now, right?), then you just need to better articulate your thoughts that you want to convey to the listener. There will be an order of magnitude more understanding, and an order of magnitude less unnecessary and unreasonable irritation.

Give it a try, this tip might be more than helpful!

Tip #8: Find someone to support you

No, we are not suggesting that you use someone as a "comforter". Here we need something completely different! We need a person who, firstly, will support your desire to change, become calmer, more soberly respond to what is happening, and who; secondly, it can help you rationalize one or another event that caused you stress. This won't cause much trouble for one of your friends, but it will help you.

… everything can turn out exactly as you planned, but there will still not be a perfect life. Excessive idealization leads to frustration, and this is absolutely obvious and logical. Make your goals realistic, and you'll get a lot more pleasure from achieving them than from futilely striving for the unattainable.

No, this does not mean that you need to stop dreaming. Dreams have nothing to do with what we are talking about now. It is about the goals that you set for yourself: for today or for the rest of your life, it does not matter. It is they who should not be adjusted to an impeccable image, thereby postponing the day of their accomplishment.

The main point of this advice is not at all to “teach you how to live” and just talk about how useful it is to admit your own mistakes. Everything is much more prosaic! If you understand with a rational part of your consciousness that you have made a mistake, but emotionally you cannot accept it, it puts pressure on you, prevents you from living freely, and causes irritation in you. You can project anger at yourself onto others… What kind of calm can we talk about?

That's why, follow this pathetic advice - admit your mistakes.

The main essence of this layout is the preliminary "playing" of various life situations. At the same time, you set your own order for them, “programming” yourself for it. By the way, this advice is useful not only for the ability to remain calm, but also for organizing your own day.

Tip #12: Go back in time with new thoughts

Sometimes you can "play" some episodes from your life again. We are talking about those moments that in the past turned out to be stressful for you, caused an unpleasant reaction for you, or you reacted in those situations not the way you would like.

Go back to the right moment and imagine how events would unfold if they were happening now. Imagine, for example, how you calmly and witty respond to someone's attack without losing your dignity, or find yourself in the center of attention of an admiring company after a sharp and sarcastic response-joking to a remark that hurts you. This is not only pleasant, but also beneficial!

You should be surrounded by people who do not experience problems with controlling emotions (at least problems like yours). No, no, in no case do you need to completely change the circle of your communication. You didn't mean to do that, though, did you? Something different is required of you: among the people with whom you constantly communicate, there must be calm people who have "unshakable" self-confidence and are able to convey this confidence to you.

Try to evaluate all your emotions according to their relevance and adequacy. Have you noticed that you get annoyed at being annoyed? Do you think this is exactly what you need?

Tip #15: Don't React to Attacks When You're Annoyed

Always give yourself a short pause from the moment you are exposed to the stimulus to your reaction to it. To put it more simply, first think, and then speak. In this way, you can avoid a good half of all the stress associated with communication.

Tip #16: Breathe deeply, properly, and on time

Just 10 seconds of deep breathing allows a person to completely calm down if their stress is caused by an excessive, unnecessary reaction. Again, you just need a pause before you react to something. If you find yourself becoming very angry and losing patience, stop and begin to calmly breathe deeply. You will calm down, and the brain will be saturated with oxygen, which will allow you to soberly assess the situation.

Tip #17: Find the truth in your criticism

… or at least try to do so. It is far from a fact, of course, that you will find this truth there, but in our case it is better to play it safe and not immediately perceive any criticism as an attempt to offend you. It is possible that criticism of you is constructive and will only benefit you.

Tip #18: Look for the positive in everything that happens

This advice is especially good for those who are just starting to learn calmness (yes, calmness needs to be learned, and this is what we are doing now!) And cannot yet force themselves to react with a delay and strictly control own feelings. The beauty of this method is that it can be implemented after the event of interest to us, at any time. All that is needed is to rethink what happened in a new way and try to find in it positive sides. Here you have found the desired pluses ... But can something good annoy us?

… listen to audiobooks, watch movies. The main thing is that they calm you down, set you in a positive mood, teach you to see something pleasant in life and help you cope with anger or irritation that comes from nowhere.

Tip #20: Remember that you can't and shouldn't please everyone

The fact that you cannot please everyone is understandable, so it is worth emphasizing the second point: you should not please everyone! Moreover, no one is asking you to. When you disappoint someone, you disappoint yourself. What do you need it for? Why should you feel frankly unpleasant emotions just because you didn’t live up to someone’s idealized expectations?

You need to learn to be an outside observer sometimes. First, it's interesting. Secondly, it will help you understand people better, give you time to think about your own reaction, and allow you to correctly assess the current situation.

This is one of the most difficult, but also the most effective ways to become more calm and get rid of unpleasant emotions. There are a lot of meditation techniques, and some of them are not so difficult to master as it might seem at first glance. In any case, you should look for the right information and try. It certainly won't get worse, but you can, in response to your efforts, gain the ability to control your emotions and mood in the way you yourself wish.

Tip #23: Treat your troubles like a workout

A universal recipe for peace. Yes, it is quite difficult to develop such an attitude towards life, but this does not mean at all that it is not worth trying.

Against! This, along with meditation, is the most successful and effective way to cope with stress and remain calm in any situation.
There is no single technique on how to learn to relate to troubles in this way, so we leave it to you to find your own way.

Moreover, the effect in this scenario will definitely be the best.

The article was prepared by a practicing neuropathologist Agantseva Daria Pavlovna

In our crazy world, it is almost impossible to always remain calm and balanced. Every day we get discouraged and annoyed by little things. This is a normal life process, because it is impossible to always be happy with everything. Especially women suffer from irritability and attacks of anger at the whole wide world. Their frequent mood swings have many sources.

Bad character. This is a purely genetic support of permanent bad mood, nitpicking to others and sour mines. It's just genetics that a person is simply not predisposed to violent manifestations of joy.
Menstrual and premenstrual period. On such days, women are clearly not in the mood to joke and have fun. They often show aggression towards others, they can find fault, scream, provoke conflict situations for no reason. It's all about the hormones that are released during your period. They provoke irritability, sleep disturbance. BUT pain during menstruation, they only increase discontent and the desire to send everyone to hell.
Disruption of the thyroid gland. The thyroid gland also affects our emotional state. Due to its improper operation, the hormonal background of the whole organism changes. This causes mood swings, excessive tearfulness and sentimentality. Therefore, every year it is necessary to consult an endocrinologist. He will do an examination of the thyroid gland, direct him to pass the necessary tests and prescribe the correct treatment if a pathology is found.
Constant feeling of hunger. When women go on diets, they often starve themselves. Malnutrition is becoming one of the most common causes of female anger. When a person does not get enough food, his emotional state deteriorates sharply. The body needs essential nutrients. And when he does not receive them, he begins to protest with the help of hysteria, nit-picking, feeling unwell, weakness.
Irrational schedule. The daily routine also affects women's mood. If a woman does not know how to rationally build her daily routine, she will always be late, will not cope with work tasks on time. Also, the wrong distribution of time threatens sleep disturbances. All this leads to constant deadlines, nervousness, panic fear of being late, not doing the task on time, getting a reprimand. Women often steal their sleep time. They sit until one in the morning, trying to finish household and work chores. But then in the morning they are unable to get out of bed. Such a harmful rhythm of life threatens with a syndrome of constant fatigue, turmoil at work, decreased productivity, and nervousness. The most deplorable cases have to be treated at the clinic level, because a woman can easily get a nervous breakdown. The treatment takes place both with medication and with the use of acupuncture, baths, massage, a special system of physical exercises, hypnosis sessions.

How to overcome anger and irritability

Rhythm of life modern woman practically does not allow her to come to grips with her health and put her shattered nerves in order. The weaker sex is diligently building a career, raising children, taking care of the house and doing more. Naturally, it is impossible to walk cheerful and smile all day. There are moments when anger and irritation overflows, and is within easy reach.

At this critical moment, it is important to understand the cause of irritation and urgently take emergency measures to restore mental balance and calm shattered nerves. Here are some tips to help you come to your senses and calm down.

If the cause of anger lies in the menstrual period, it is important to create the most comfortable conditions for yourself. First, it is better to redo the entire hard work so as not to drive yourself into a deadline for the period of menstruation. There should always be valerian in your purse. It is especially useful during menstruation, because it perfectly relieves nervous tension and pacifies pain in the abdomen. Frequent drinking during menstruation is the key to good health. During this special period, clean water is especially important. If there is not enough fluid in the body, then headaches and spasms often occur, which cause irritability.
Chamomile tea is a real salvation for shattered nerves. Take 2-3 teaspoons of chamomile flowers per liter of boiling water, leave for 20 minutes. You can drink this tea throughout the day. Chamomile perfectly calms the nerves, gives peace of mind and provides sound sleep.
A sleepy woman is a happy person. It is impossible to be joyful and healthy if you have 4-5 hours of sleep. On average, we need to sleep 7-8 hours. This time is enough for the nervous system to fully recover, and the energy and tone to increase. It is advisable not to sleep on your stomach - this position is very harmful to posture and impairs the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract. But it is precisely because of discomfort in the stomach that we often cannot fall asleep, we toss and turn, and in the morning we wake up angry and offended by the whole world.
Clear planning of the day will save you from. It is useful to plan the day by the hour, devoting a certain amount of time to each task. For this purpose, it is useful to have a diary in which it is very convenient to record priority and secondary tasks. Then the woman's risk of nervousness and hysteria about the task not completed on time is reduced.
Breathing practices will restore the emotional state, relieve obsessive thoughts and experiences. Often we breathe incorrectly, in gusts, greedily swallowing air. Learn to breathe correctly, and then stress and irritation in your life will be much less. Set aside 10-20 minutes for this activity in the evening before bed. Try to breathe deeply, do not rush to push the air out of the lungs, hold your breath for a couple of seconds. Only then exhale slowly and measuredly. Such breathing exercises are akin to yoga. They enrich the blood with oxygen, calm the flow of thoughts, balance.

We all worry about something. Someone is concerned about the session, passing exams, the upcoming career advancement. Someone is concerned about their personal life or the political situation in the country, the health of their children. We cannot be indifferent to everything. It is simply important not to go too far and not to splash out your anger and discontent on others. Women often do not cope with this difficult task. It's all their fault and excessive vulnerability. But it is possible and necessary to fight bouts of anger and irritability. If you approach the solution of this problem in a complex way, you can very soon become calm and restrained and forget about anger and nervousness.

When I was a little younger, I had grandiose goals and aspirations, and a strong desire to achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind—to be calm and peacefully move from one task to another with concentration and calm, restrained energy.

Everything seems to be simple? Probably no. But there are steps we can take to at least stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it, because it's a fantastic feeling! Anger and impatience wear down our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.
Below are twelve tips on how to keep your cool and remain calm in various life situations.

1. Try not to be dramatic

It is very easy to dramatize and make an elephant out of a fly. In any stressful situations where the problem concerns you, resist the urge to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words "always" and "when". You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle it,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem in a different way.

Don't talk, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a bit. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. By doing this, they only add fuel to the fire, and you are even more upset.

3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm

Here's what helps me: I try to represent the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull on the ends, the tighter the knot tightens. But when I concentrate fully, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.

It also helps if you visualize yourself acting with restraint and focus. Stop screaming and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become that calm and unflappable person that you see in your imagination.

Here's another technique: Do you know any person who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.

4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy

Are there certain situations that make you lose control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day, to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy - or too quiet? Knowing your personal irritants will help you stay calm throughout the day.

5. Realize that you can control your emotions

Recall times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly reorganize. Remember that you can repeat this knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.

6.Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals

If calm music comforts you, use it. If silence calms you, use it. Maybe you put on soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light scented candles.

When you get home from work, take a few minutes to calm your mind before diving into family chores. Sit in the car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Kick off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.

7. Take care of your basic needs

Make sure you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I get irritated when my blood sugar is low. However, it is enough to eat something nutritious, and I feel (relatively) lighter.

Also try to exercise. Daily exercise helps relieve physical tension, and this in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of a half-hour run, I do kickboxing. It helps.
Avoid excessive consumption of sugar and caffeine, and do not dehydrate the body. Drink a large glass of water and see if you feel better, more calm and alert.

8. Pay Attention to the Soul and Spirit

Depending on your religious preferences, meditate or pray. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help control your busy mind.

9. Get distracted

10. Take a day off

If I resist like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure - I need it. If I can get over myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always return there calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.

11. Don't forget to breathe

When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe with their belly. It still works, both for them and for me. Diaphragm breathing helps relieve tension immediately, and it gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. This is often enough time to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.

During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, put your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand goes up as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.

12. Consider quotes that can help calm your mind.

Here are a few quotes that I find inspiring:

“You are heaven. Everything else is just the weather.” Pema Chodron

“A calm, focused mind, not aimed at hurting others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.” Wayne Dyer

“It is useless to rush life. If I'm living on the run, then I'm living wrong. My habit of haste will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn how to make time for everything. If I sacrifice my life for haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. It means taking time to think. Slowly you will be in time everywhere " Carlos Petrini (Carlos Petrini) - the founder of the movement "slow food".

“The single most important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Restrained, receptive parents are those whose children keep talking.” Mary Pipher

“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be in harmony with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda

Life is surprisingly diverse and rich, unfortunately, not only positive, but also negative events. Everyone wants to remain calm in any situation, but not everyone succeeds.

From the very beginning, the task should be clarified. Do you want to remain calm in any situation? Most likely only in negative(disturbing, angry, annoying, frightening, etc.) situations? It is unlikely, for example, that a girl, having heard a marriage proposal, will think: “No joy! Peace, only peace!" In pleasant and positive situations, on the contrary, you want to be as restless as possible. From happiness, people jump to the ceiling and shout "Hurrah!" publicly.

Perhaps the task is even narrower. Not "Stay calm in any negative situation", but "Learn not to cry" / "Learn not to be offended" / "Learn to control anger" and so on, depending on what specific problem worries.

The more exactly if you manage to determine the task, goal, direction of work on yourself, the better.

You need to understand that reaching a state where absolutely nothing disturbs or worries is tantamount to depriving yourself of all emotions, both good and bad.

A dispassionate person cannot, while maintaining Olympian calm in a stressful situation, immediately become expressive, emotional and sensitive in a positive one. To become completely serene is a super-task, which only Buddhist monks aspire to.

Not necessary strive for absolute calmness in any situation. The calmness that is worth striving for is, in fact, the ability wisely, with understanding and acceptance look at the unpleasant things happening around and the negative emotions that are born in the soul.

Calmness as a skill and character trait

Calmness differs from emotionlessness in that the person who feels it feels an exciting emotion, is aware, but knows how to control it, he is not insensitive, but balanced.

The ability to remain calm in an exciting situation is connected with the ability to control emotions. In many ways, these two skills overlap. To learn how to control your emotions, read the article. There you will also find additional practical advice on how to stay calm.

It is easier for some people, by virtue of their character and temperament, to remain dead, for others it is more difficult. The ability to remain calm also depends on the most exciting situation, its scale, duration, repetition and complexity.

Calmness requires experience, mental strength and wisdom, which is why the older the person, the calmer he is. Calmness itself comes with age, but it can be learned, and at any age.

Learning to be calm means secure yourself in advance from various future stresses and anxieties. Prevention is always better than dealing with the problem that has already arisen. But difficulties are different, therefore, one hundred percent guarantee that, having learned calmness, you will be able to cope with any excitement, No.

It is clear that what more often and better be able to remain calm in stressful situations smaller Situations like this are going to be exciting!

Mastery of any skill is education, involving repetition of actions, training and consolidation of acquired knowledge in practice. Once a habit has been developed, it becomes a habit, and the habit will affect the character. In this way, you can come to peace as character trait.

What kind of knowledge is this, the application of which in practice will help to remain calm in any problem situation?

Three rules of peace

In order not to be nervous and remain calm in an exciting situation, psychologists recommend remembering regulations:

Stop signal rule. It is recommended to come up with a certain signal for yourself, which will become a lever for switching to the “calm” mode. It would be nice to remember in what situations it turned out to quickly regain calmness. What kind of situation is this and with what (with what object, action) is it associated?

For many people, the signal to bring themselves into a balanced state is phone ring.

Example. The wife yells at her husband and breaks the dishes, but suddenly her phone rings and no one wants to talk to her, but the boss. Will the woman be able to calm down? In a fraction of a second! Not just calm down, but completely change, become friendly and sweet!

In moments when anxiety overcomes, a sobering and returning bell should “ring” in the head. Any image can be such a signal: a light switch, a light bulb, a knock on the door, an alarm clock, a fan turning on, falling snow - anything that is associated with the need to calm down or calmness.

Rule "Don't rush!" Whoever understands life is in no hurry. Haste reduces the quality of the actions performed, and their number does not increase at the same time (it only seems!), but the most important thing is that hasty body movements overstimulate the brain, which is expressed as excitement, fuss, panic, anxiety, aggressiveness.

In order not to feel the rush and excitement in a stressful situation, you need to move, take actions and talk in medium or slow pace. No running and screaming!

It is better to change the habit of speaking loudly and very quickly to a calm and measured speech half a tone quieter. You need to speak in such a way that your own ears enjoy it.

In order not to rush anywhere, you need everything in advance to plan and count. In an extraordinary situation, you need to act quickly, but not hastily, to believe that everything will be in time, and not worry: “I won’t have time!”. Panic never leads to a positive result.

In the end, if it happened to be late somewhere or not to be in time for something, it means that it was necessary and this is for the best; it means that in the subconscious there was a setting “Something unpleasant is waiting there” and in fact, I didn’t really want to appear on time or have time!

Everything will work out! Everything always happens on time!

The rule "Analyze, not dramatize!" A lot of people covered negative emotion, begin to aggravate the situation: “It’s always like this!”, “You are all like that!”, “No one loves me!” - it's all exaggeration.

You won't be able to keep calm if you don't start analysis situation, but start complaining, indignant, objecting, crying, and so on.

Logical analysis switches the brain into “thinking” mode, from emotions to reason. Instead of immediately calling a girlfriend and complaining about fate, it is better to think about the situation alone.

Talking about a problem is good only once, everything else is turning a fly into an elephant.

What happened, happened, it doesn't matter anymore. It's important what to do now how to solve the issue. It’s definitely impossible to solve the problem with excitement and violent emotions, you need to think about how to eliminate the consequences and prevent a recurrence of such a situation.

If you have to worry not because of a particular situation, but because of general situation(in the family, at work, in the country) helps to calm down question“Does this excitement make my life better and happier? Will something change for the better because I'm worried?

It is impossible and unnecessary to control everything and influence everything! Excitement in a situation where nothing can be changed should be replaced by an effort of will with faith in the best and a revision of views on the problem.

Calm Techniques

Without thorough work on oneself, it is difficult to learn how to remain calm in difficult situations, but there are auxiliary techniques and tools that can greatly facilitate the process of self-control and management of emotions.

Helps to calm down:

Proper breathing. This is an even, deep, diaphragmatic breathing, when the stomach rises when inhaling through the nose, and retracts when exhaling.

2.Aromatherapy. Scented candles, aroma lamps, oils - there are many ways to soothe your inflamed mind with the smell. A simple example: most people associate the smell of tangerines with a holiday, it will surely help to relax.

Reading. While reading, the brain works in a special, soothing frequency mode, a person is distracted from the outside world and plunges into the world of fantasy.
Music. Everyone has their own special compositions that can soothe and uplift the mood. There are also melodies specially created for relaxation, relaxation, sleep, quiet work (they can be easily found on the Internet).
Physical exercise. A great way for those who like to get hung up on thoughts about a problem. When muscles work, a lot of energy is released, including negative energy. All the restlessness that accumulates in the body is released as a result of alternating tension and relaxation of the muscles. It is not necessary to play sports, just cleaning the house is enough to properly strain physically.
Water. A shower or bath will help in the morning and evening, and drinking clean water during the day. Water improves metabolism, makes the brain work more actively, harmonizes nervous system.
hobby. This is a way to compensate for negative experiences with positive ones and get distracted.
Comfort. Anything can annoy: tight shoes, hot clothes, an uncomfortable chair, someone screaming, music, unpleasant smells, and so on. People sometimes do not even notice these stimuli or ignore them, and in the meantime, they continue to shatter the nervous system. Maximizing the conditions, you can calm your nerves. If possible, you need to eliminate irritants and add calming elements to your atmosphere and environment.
Walks in the open air. Oxygen improves brain function, and moving forward is associated with moving towards success. The ability to go out in the heat of anger Fresh air and walking has saved more than one friendship, love, and working relationship.
Dream. Overwork is a common cause of restlessness and nervousness, and sleep is the best medicine in this case.

And finally, if it is possible not to get into an exciting situation, it is better to avoid it, at least during those periods when there is a lack of strength for self-control.

Where do you most often lose your composure?