A. Demkin
If the soul hurts ... What to do if the soul feels bad?
© 2011-2015, Andrey Demkin, St. Petersburg.
Reprinting or other full or partial reproduction of the material is permitted only with the written permission of the author.
What to do if the soul hurts, if the soul feels bad?
10 steps out of the crisis.
10 steps personal experience out of a spiritual crisis. One of the solutions.
"There is no salvation without sorrows, but the Kingdom of Heaven awaits those who endure."
Reverend Seraphim Sarovskiy
Each of us had, is and will have moments or periods when the soul is unbearably ill, when the soul hurts and mourns. I don't want to see anyone, I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to eat, I don't want to move... At such moments, I can't believe that someday my soul will get better and learn to be happy again. It is impossible to look into the future in such a state. You see only a blank wall in front of you and bitter losses or mistakes behind you. Do not sleep at night. There is no strength for anything ... It is very, very difficult to get out of such a state of mind. The soul hurts, the soul hurts...
may your holy gift and your holy water be for the remission of my sins, for the enlightenment of my mind, for the strengthening of my spiritual and bodily strength, for the health of my soul and body, for the subjugation of my passions and infirmities, by Thy boundless mercy through the prayers of Thy Most Pure Mother and all Thy Saints. Amen. Prayer to your Guardian Angel: In the Leningrad and Pskov regions, I can recommend for confession: Methodology "Mental Cross" in the treatment of anxiety, fears and anxiety To restore a normal night's sleep, use our video or audio classes "Healing Dreams" . Before you are prescribed treatment by a doctor (if necessary), you can support your strength with one of the most harmless medicines, which consists simply of Magnesium metal and vitamin B6: Magne B6(France, more expensive) or Magnelis B6 (Russia, cheaper). This tool helps to quickly relieve internal stress. Clinical studies have shown that therapy with Magne B6 can significantly improve mental and somatic (vegetative) manifestations of anxiety with the same efficiency as the use of tranquilizers, and is comparable in antidepressant effect with the use of antidepressants. But here it is important to note that therapy with a magnesium-containing drug, and in particular Magne B6 forte, should be long - from 2-3 months to a year. The minimum period of therapy with magnesium-containing preparations is 2 months - it can be recommended to young people under the age of 40 years. Persons over 40 years of age should take the drug from 2-3 to 6 months. People who are in a state of acute or chronic stress need to take magnesium during the entire period of the negative impact of stress factors. In chronic stress in the absence of kidney disease, you can recommend taking the drug Magnerot(500 mg magnesium) 1-2 tablets daily. Possible reception of Magnerot long time- during the entire duration of the factors that cause stress. Magnerot is cheaper than Magne B6. Another harmless remedy in the treatment of anxiety, tension, mood depression and sleep disorders is the common valerian (valerian extract). However, for the effective use of valerian, it is necessary to use it in the correct doses. Clinically proven efficacy of valerian extract starts with a single dose of 100 mg (that's 5 tablets of 20 mg valerian extract). With increased anxiety, irritability, neuromuscular tension, 100 mg of valerian extract is prescribed 3 times a day. Before going to bed (an hour before bedtime) take 400-460 mg of valerian (20-23 tablets of 20 mg). Taking valerian in such doses reduces the onset of sleep by 9-11 minutes, makes sleep deeper, and reduces the number of nocturnal awakenings. The recommended duration of treatment with valerian is up to 28 days. The ratio of the dose of valerian extract and the weight of valerian root: 200 mg of valerian extract is equivalent to 1 g of dry valerian root. That is, for cooking. daily servings Valerian will require 0.5 g of dry valerian root per reception, and before going to bed - 2 g of dry valerian root. Another good drug that is sold in pharmacies without a prescription is Afobazole. Afobazole reduces the feeling of constant anxiety (concern, bad forebodings, fears), reduces irritability and tearfulness, reduces constant tension, improves sleep, gives more strength and self-confidence, improves concentration and attention. Afobazole does not reduce the speed of psychomotor reactions, does not reduce muscle strength, and its administration can be combined with driving a car or performing other complex operator activities. Also, afobazole is not addictive. Afobazole is taken 1 tablet (10 mg) 3 times a day after meals. Relief of anxiety, neuropsychic tension occurs already on the 2-3rd day of taking afobazole. The pronounced effect develops for 5-7 days. The course of treatment with afobazole is 2-4 weeks, depending on the effect. The maximum effect develops by the 4th week of taking afobazole. Side effects: at the beginning of taking afobazole may appear headache which will pass in a few days from the start of treatment. Possible allergic reactions. Be sure to consult your doctor before taking afobazole! To support the body during acute and chronic stress, it is important to eat foods that contain substances that reduce the manifestations of stress. Which saint in what cases to pray?Orthodox prayers on the different cases life.
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Even the happiest people have moments in their lives when their hearts are heavy and they want to cry. Sometimes it's spleen, and sometimes natural depression. In the latter case, one should not neglect treatment under the supervision of an intelligent psychotherapist. In other cases, everything is in your power.
How to find the beginning of everything
This will help you understand what to do. First of all, try to remember step by step what led to this heaviness. Find the maximum of serious, accurate, and ... funny in this. Much depends on the reason why it is so hard on the soul.If you yourself are to blame, for example, you offended someone or committed some kind of offense, you should not suffer too much. Just remember that you have the right to make mistakes and try to forgive yourself. For example, do a little training:
First, call your offense the word "Mistake". It's not a deadly sin, it's just a mistake. then remember that you are still good. That's right: tell yourself "I'm good" and hug yourself. And just calm down, ask yourself what to do. Now that you have cooled down and understood, you can start correcting the mistake.
Be sure to ask for forgiveness from the person you offended. Do not hesitate with this, because both of you can boil a lot in your soul and ask for forgiveness, and it will be more difficult to forgive. Yes, and nerve cells are restored slowly and sadly. But only ask for forgiveness when emotions have already subsided and you can reason and respond to any words sensibly and calmly.
Or maybe it’s not you, but someone is to blame for the fact that it’s hard on your soul. What to do if you are offended? Similarly, understand that a person has the right to make mistakes. Most likely, he did not set himself the goal of offending you, he simply stumbled. if it’s hard after parting or leaving your best friend to another city (country), then it remains only to take it for granted. Remember all the wonderful things that you had and remain grateful to this person. And get ready for the fact that in later life you will have many new and wonderful people and acquaintances.
Think and speak only good things
This is the simplest answer to the question of what to do when it's hard at heart. Thoughts and words are material, therefore negative thoughts they will not allow you to get rid of the heaviness in your soul and the blues, but will drag you even deeper. This is the hardest one but try to keep track of everything bad thoughts and by force to replace them with good ones. This will not help to solve the problem at the root, but here and now it will help.
Let the feelings go
Do not believe that grief cannot be helped by tears. Can. You will release all the sad thoughts if you roar well, and then you will surely understand that life has not ended yet and you will see it in a new light.
Here and now
The most vague and annoying piece of advice ever difficult situation sounds like this: "Live here and now." This can be done with the help of small trainings and exercises.
- Do something with your hands: wash, weave, tie, sew, write, join. Just achieve simple completeness and wholeness in something small. Just let go fine motor skills hands, which will definitely distract from thoughts. If this is not possible, go to the store and sort through something with your hands;
- Having found an unexpected point on your body, imagine that you are drawing it in the air and describing circles;
- Imagine that you are a comic book or a running picture. Try as a comic book superhero to get out of all difficult situations;
- If your heart is cloudy, imagine yourself as a piece of furniture or something else from the house or part of nature (for example, a tree outside the window or a bush). Tell a monologue on his behalf. Firstly, this way you can better understand what worries you and causes heaviness, and secondly, fuse the negative into something inanimate;
Remember what once was good for you
If it was, then it will be again. You certainly had happy times, because it was not always hard on your soul. Try sending yourself a letter from yourself during a happy period of your life or from the place where you had the best time in your life, for example, from the place of the happiest vacation of your life.
Try to recreate the situation in which you felt good as accurately as possible. Assemble it from the smallest details. If you can't fully experience bliss, at least simulate it. You can restore the happiest moment in your life by a grain of sand.
Do good to your neighbor
Think about how you can please family or friends. You can give them small but cute gifts or cook something delicious. If you can make people smile and positive emotions then they will come back to you.
give thanks
Try to give thanks for what got you into such a dead end. Think about the lessons that can be learned from this, as well as how to push off from this bottom.
Simple Tips
- Go to bed. Maybe it's just plain tiredness. In general, try to relax by changing the environment. You don’t even need to go anywhere, you can just go out and walk around the shops. Take a small amount of money and buy what you want, no matter how small.
- Go in for sports. You don’t even need to go to the gym - just move around. You can turn on a video set of exercises that gives an active load on the body. Or work out on the street - this is ideal.
Don't lock yourself in
Be sure to share your difficult thoughts with loved ones. You can ask for advice from two people at once: sharp and unrestrained in words and affectionate and kind.
If it’s hard on the soul, the usual melancholy may be to blame. What to do with her? Just do not let it get close, because it can tighten with your head.
And by perception. For some, the problem that has arisen passes quickly and by, but someone takes it to the soul and worries. Everything begins to fall out of hand, constant screams and breakdowns against close and dear people. As a result, relationships become bad, and sometimes even in general. And then it begins to seem that everything is set up only against you. This is even more annoying, there is aggressiveness and uncertainty. And while some are ruining themselves, others live quietly and enjoy life.
Even if you have any tragic event in the family, problems with work, not built personal life etc., you should not always reproach yourself for something. This is a life that brings not only good moments. Learn to rejoice in what is now, and not once was or will be. Everything in life comes and goes. All negativity will eventually pass.
The main thing is not to sit still, but go forward, overcoming all the difficulties in your path. Do what interests you and makes you happy. Take a break and make other people feel good, but in no case do not take it out on them. Life is too short, sometimes there is not even enough time to correct your mistakes.
If on soul bad, then give someone joy. Go outside and let little child candy. You will see how much sincere happiness from one small sweetness. It will become much easier for you. If you like shopping, then go and buy yourself new thing. If you can't live without Japanese food, then treat yourself to a trip to a restaurant. Problems and hardships will sooner or later go away or be forgotten. Look for pleasant moments in every day and minute. Just live for yourself, for the sake of your loved ones. Difficulties make people stronger, more experienced and wiser. If you offended someone, then ask for forgiveness. Fix minor bugs that you can fix now. Don't put it off until later, because it may no longer exist.
And finally, lie down on the sofa, turn on good and favorite music, analyze your life. Understand what's bothering you and fix it. Remove the weight from your soul. If this is not done, then you can regret the rest of your life. And give people joy and happiness. And everything will come back to you.
Learn to enjoy the little things.
Sources:
- bad at heart
Sometimes problems and troubles pour in, as if from a cornucopia. It seems that life's difficulties there will be no end. It is not surprising that only sad thoughts come to mind, faith in oneself disappears. To get out of the "black streak", you first need to regain good spirits and a positive attitude.
Today we will be discussing a topic such as "heart heaviness". Many complain that they can not get rid of this unpleasant feeling. We will consider the origin of this feeling, its various types and ways out of this unpleasant state.
First of all, let's translate this abstract expression into a more concrete direction. How does this feeling manifest itself? It manifests itself as a vague feeling of anxiety somewhere in the chest. There is a feeling that a weak one is allowed inside electricity. "Heart flutters." Highly unpleasant feeling no wonder people want to get rid of it. So, heaviness in the soul is a feeling of anxiety.
When does anxiety arise?
It arises when some unsolved problem hangs over us, when we feel the approach of some kind of trouble, when we need to fix something, and when we are in some kind of limbo and the unknown is pressing on us.
What do these situations have in common?
First of all, they are united by the need to find a solution and the need for immediate action. Feelings of anxiety motivate us to act and try to avoid some of the negative consequences of inaction.
Thus, one must understand that “heaviness in the soul” is not a disease, but a symptom. Our feelings stimulate us to act before it's too late. Thus, it would be wise to fight not with a sense of anxiety, but with the situation that caused it.
I will give an example from my own experience. One of my acquaintances, a man in his early forties, who complained of a feeling of anxiety in the wording "heaviness in the soul for several months." After I began to question him about the events in his life that preceded the onset of anxiety, it turned out that before they arose, he had a big fight with his son. During these few months, they never reconciled (why is a separate issue), but he did not connect his emotional state with the situation that preceded it. For some reason, my friend did not want to connect these two events. In the course of work, we sorted out the reasons for the quarrel and this man wished to make peace with his son. Soon he did it and the heaviness in his soul passed.
In this example, the person subconsciously felt that reconciliation was necessary, but his resentment prevented him from doing so. At the same time, he did not want to link the situation and his condition, trying to get out of internal conflict(feelings of resentment and desire to reconcile).
Thus, the heaviness in the soul testifies to some unresolved life situation, which, however, may not be realized. Based on the foregoing, work with anxiety should consist in clarifying the circumstances that preceded its appearance. This allows you to identify the "urge to action", which causes a feeling of heaviness in the soul.
I note that a person is not always able to do this on his own, since this can be interfered with by a person’s false ideas about what drives him.
Resolution of the situation.
It is good when the situation can be resolved easily, but it happens that it is too difficult or impossible to resolve it. This happens when the resolution of the situation does not depend on us, but on other people, or other circumstances beyond our control. Unfortunately, it is not always possible for our feelings to explain that we are powerless in something.
What to do in such a situation?
Everything is simple. Feelings require action from us, which means that action must be provided. If we can't handle the situation ourselves, maybe other people can handle it. You need to ask people for help. Asking for help is also an action that will make you a little calmer. In addition, there is a high probability that help will actually resolve the situation.
Unfortunately, there are situations that neither you nor other people can resolve. In such cases, a person needs the moral support of other people.
In such circumstances, diverting attention from the complexities can help.
For example, in the event of the loss of a significant loved one, in addition to other negative tendencies, a feeling of anxiety can also be observed. There is nothing you can do about such a loss, so distraction can help in such a situation. Maybe someone can help. But this is another, much more complex topic, which we will not dwell on now.
What should not be done?
Many people choose to deal with anxiety through various chemicals such as alcohol, sedatives, drugs, etc. It is important to understand that they are not able to help overcome anxiety, but can only slow down our nervous system. Thus, it can only make a person slower, but not calmer. In addition, these drugs have a number of side effects, for example, they can cause sleep problems, which will interfere with psychological recovery. Therefore, you should never drink alcohol and sedatives to feel better at heart. This can only trigger new unresolved situations that will cause additional anxiety, which in turn forces you to increase the dose. Thus, a person can fall into a vicious circle.
This is where we will end today. I wish you only lightness in your soul. Good luck!
For the last 5 years I have been feeling very bad. It’s like a lump of dirt stuck in my chest and corrodes me from the inside. I've been wanting nothing for 5 years now. No sex, no work (which I just stopped liking), watching movies, walking, talking, and eventually living too. Every day I come to work, communicate with my workmates pretending that everything is in order, smiling in their face, joking with them, and when I get home I turn on the music and lie down and listen. I just listen and dream of dying or being born in another century. But there is no one to tell the truth. My parents have been divorced since 2010. Relations with them are cold as ice. My father demands a lot from me, what I don’t want, I don’t like. But I have to do something so as not to disappoint him, and in the end I still make a mistake somewhere and disappoint him. Maybe I lack love or something else that I do not see and do not realize? At home too, I just stopped cleaning, I live like ... yes, I just live like I live. Don't care about everything. I want to scream, so loud that they would be heard on the other side of the universe. Why does it hurt so much? Why so bad? What is wrong with me? I'm 28 years old, and I feel like I'm 80. I'll say this if it weren't for Mom, Dad, I would have committed suicide<ред.мод.>... Lord, how bad at heart. I would like to write so much here, but it is unlikely that this will help me in some way, it is unlikely that it will instill in me the spirit and strength to live on. People will read what I wrote and many will think. Here's the moron. Or just sympathize with me. And I just don't care. I want to be free from life. I want to jump off the plane and just fly down with my eyes closed and know that just a couple more moments of flight and I will be free. I have no one to complain to, no one to tell how bad I feel, no one to cry on my shoulder, and this is probably sad from the point of view of a normal person. I understand that suicide is not an option. And it won't get any easier for the family. But I didn't even care about my family. I am afraid of these thoughts. This is probably the first and last time I write something on the Internet.
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Sasha, age: 28 / 23.05.2017
Responses:
Hello. It seems to me that it would be right to remember when such an attitude towards life began in you. That was five years ago - what happened to you then? Maybe some unfavorable events that have affected you so much. And all the while You are struggling with their consequences. Think. Perhaps the reason is in Your work. It was at that age that labor activity. The duties that you perform can be very exhausting. Relationships with management or staff. At first glance, everything may look good, but in fact it is a source of discomfort. I know from personal experience how powerful it can be. Working in one organization, all the time it was hard on my soul and I didn’t want to do anything after work. All the time something was with health, despite the young age. After some time, the organization moved and had to leave. And, as time shows, it was right. In the place where I work now, everything is completely different. Much easier than before, emotionally. In addition, there was free time from work to help other people. And this is actually very interesting and not difficult at all. Additional motivation when you feel that you bring someone benefit. Think about it, maybe you should decide to change something in your life. And then there will be a desire and strength to live.
Mikhail, age: 05/28/2017
Hello Sasha. You wrote: "I want to write so much here, but this is unlikely to help me in any way ..." But I think if a person has a need to express more than he says, it is necessary to satisfy this need. Maybe it is in unspoken words that you can understand something and find a way out of your difficult situation. I think we should take advantage of this opportunity. I also realized that you have no one to talk to, try to contact a psychologist, do not withdraw into yourself. Happiness to you, Sasha, let a ray of light shine in your life.
Olga, age: 35 / 05/24/2017
Sasha, well, how did you not guess to go to a doctor, a psychiatrist! It seems to me that you are sick with depression, which means that you need to treat it and get cured. All life is in front of you. Joy from life, pleasure from life will still be available to you.
Madame, age: 55 / 05/24/2017
Hi Sasha! Depression is a disease. And she needs to be treated. And it can be treated in different ways. You need to have purpose and meaning in life. You can advise to create your own family. According to my observations, people who get married cope with depression more easily. Or turn to God, become a Christian, this path has given many people joy and meaning in life. Or turn your gaze to other people who are in dire need of help. It also gives a desire to live when you realize that other people need you. And if all this does not suit you, then go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist, it depends on the severity of your depression. But since you are in a long depression, then you probably need to see a psychiatrist. But you have to live. We must fight. We must win.
Arina, age: 05/27/2017
Dear!
It's not worth getting discouraged. Difficult to advise. First, you are not alone. We are all living people and can lose motivation. On the face of a slight depression.
There is a positive. You are young, healthy, functioning normally - go to work, ie. minor depression. You do not have a burden - disabled relatives, wife, children. This is positive, because hands are untied.
For me, for example, it is easier to be lonely, and the family is strained.
Come home from work and turn on not music, but some kind of satire, read something funny, for example.
Visit your primary care physician.
Find some hobby, passion. Lots of dating sites.
Kolobok, age: 47 / 05/24/2017
Hello. Sasha, it is very similar to a prolonged depression, so do not put off visiting a psychotherapist. Drink vitamins, they will give strength. And another tip - fall in love! Create a family, every man needs care, guardianship, attention, female affection, and you are no exception. I think your mood will also change, you won’t go against nature, as they say))) Good luck to you!
Irina, age: 29 / 24.05.2017
Dear Alexander, I would like to warn you that having freed yourself from life in this way, you will not become free, since this is an unforgivable sin. Try to slowly figure out what's wrong, try to figure out the meaning of a person's suffering, why they are sent to him, maybe just if everything was fine, then you wouldn't think about what you need, maybe it's time to pay attention to what is really important for each of us. It's about getting in touch with God. Unfortunately, we people remember Him only when we feel bad. With the Lord in the heart, then death will be real freedom, but only when your time comes, when God decides so. And thoughts of suicide are sent to you by the enemy of our salvation, drive them away! Real freedom is in the Lord, because He is the Truth. I hope my message will help you, don’t give up, and then you will see how beautiful life is) I also had such a terrible state, I understand what you mean ... but if you don’t give up, then everything will start to improve, look for the main thing this very Truth, learn her... Take care of yourself.
***
Life is beautiful in all its images: Speaking everyday prose;
In the descriptions of poets, figurative;
In black clouds and in pink clouds ... And she rushes - furiously! ..
Hits with blows - crushingly!
So that we forget to live sublimely ... So that it would be painful for all of us to live!
I will try with all my might, To touch eternity with my heart, To make life shine with its facets, Carrying me into the world of infinity!
incognito, age: 05/26/2017
Sasha, there is always a reason for this state: sometimes these are somatic reasons, sometimes it is an event, feelings for which you have suppressed, driven inside yourself and it seems that you have experienced it, but it comes out in the form of such an unwillingness to be. Maybe you do a lot of things for which the soul does not lie. It's good that you wrote here - this is at least some step to help yourself. When you can’t figure out the reasons, it’s best to turn to a psychologist (not to anyone, on the recommendation). It is clear that you have such a need. Normally, a person should be happy - this is his normal state. I wish you to find yourself again, the one who wakes up in the morning and smiles.
Anna, age: 36 / 05/24/2017
Okay, what are you up to? I read your letter and you have no idea what a happy person you are. Let's step by step:
1. You are in good health
2. There is work, there is earnings
3. There are people close to you
5. Young, you can overtake everyone
Here are your main assets. You are an adult guy, such times when you want to die happen oddly enough for people. So, I'll tell you this is your life and only you can fix it, become happy. Stop going into despondency, because despondency is also a human sin. You just get out of this state with the help of God and start living without looking back. What will help you is faith. You do not need anyone to cry, all the strength and faith is already in you. Talk to God, because He is always with us. Ask for help, repent, start to thank and I am sure shifts will begin in good side. Everything is temporary, be patient and grateful my brother. Happiness to you.
Just a guy, age: 05/23/2017
Hi Sasha!
I am very, very glad that you sent a message here! And I'm glad that I saw him and I can write to you. The most important thing I want to ask you about - try if you do not accept, then understand: either we control thoughts, or they control us. When I made the second option, I felt about the same as you. Therefore, let me tell you WHAT NOT TO DO, so that later you will not be afraid of your thoughts.
1. Try not to listen to music while thinking about something. No matter how strange this advice may seem, it is very important. If you don’t go deep into medical terms, but put it simply, then you just “wind up” yourself, cultivate that state in yourself, from which it is so difficult to move away from and so difficult to control.
2. No matter how pointless it may seem, do some things. Actually this is also good way rest from heavy thoughts. Moreover, when we understand that they are useful to someone (and you can help your parents), there are forces for other things that are already useful to you directly - communication, walking, sports.
3. Communicate! Communicate!! Communicate!!! Treat communication as a cure for your condition: take (so far) twice a day))) That is, in the first half of the day I talked to someone, and in the second.
4. I can be wrong a thousand times, I'm sorry, if that's what you think, but such despondency can be from a lack of understanding, acceptance, non-judgment, faith in the best in you, sincere support. All this can give even one word, if it is from the heart and sincere - perhaps you should look for a psychologist, if not full-time, then at least on the Internet, you can find a free one after all. Orthodox Church(this is from personal experience, this moment in my recently hopeless life was key).
5. Watch videos about compassion. So simply and googled - it's hard to explain what happens when you approach this topic, even passively.
6. Know about yourself that you - good man. Know this firmly, and doubting yourself: to do or not to do, say so to yourself: "I will do as a good person would do."
7. Do not even doubt that such a state will pass! It is not necessary that all problems will disappear abruptly, but you will definitely be able and in the mood to solve them and at the same time enjoy life! Often, in general, only hormones are to blame for depression - so, maybe, this side should also be considered?
Hold on!!! Everything will definitely work out!
Natalia, age: 35 / 05/24/2017
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