Why is the Internet dangerous? The impact of the Internet on people. Chatting in Internet

VLADIVOSTOK, June 9 - RIA Novosti, Yulia Kovaleva. Virtual friendship, which flourished with the advent of the Internet, has become an important part of the daily life of many people, regardless of their age, profession and social status. How real friendship on the Internet is, and whether it can eventually develop from simple online communication into relationships "in life", the RIA Novosti correspondent found out on International Friends Day, celebrated annually on June 9.

Internet friendship is a reality of our days

Internet friendship is a phenomenon modern society, says Andrei Reznik, an Internet designer from Vladivostok and an active user of social networks. According to him, due to the constant employment of modern man there is not much time left to go somewhere and get to know each other, so many prefer to communicate while sitting at home.

“Friendship between people whom you have never seen, or have only seen in photographs, is possible. In friends, the main thing is not how he or she looks, but communication and common interests. , with the advent of the network, it has become much easier, and the choice of interlocutors has become wider," the source said.

According to him, it is not so difficult to find people with similar interests for communication, for this there are many different forums, sites where participants can easily communicate with each other on various topics, discuss their problems or share their impressions.

"I have hobbies that many of my friends with whom I communicate in everyday life do not understand. Therefore, if I want to talk about this topic, I use the Internet and correspond with people who have the same interests. If I like the interlocutor , and we have a lot in common, then over time, of course, not in an hour or two, he becomes my friend, wherever he lives, "he said.

Resnick noted that it is always possible to translate virtual communication into reality, even if you live in different countries. “Last year, I went to visit at the invitation of my friend from Australia, before that we had only talked for three years on the Internet and saw each other only on Skype. There was no awkwardness at the first meeting, already at the airport we started talking about our hobbies, as if all our lives lived nearby," he said.

From internet friend to husband

According to Olga Rubleva, an employee of the Vladivostok customs, it is not difficult to get acquainted on the Internet, the main thing is to be careful, but also not to be afraid of meeting with a virtual interlocutor, then relations from friendships can grow into something more. According to Rubleva, she met her husband on the Internet.

"We met on one of the sites. At first it was just networking for several years. It was interesting for us to communicate with each other, then we decided to meet. The funny thing is that he didn’t even come to the first meeting himself, but sent a friend to he “looked at me,” she told RIA Novosti.

According to her, before meeting with her husband, she often communicated with people on the Internet, many of the forums arranged meetings where everyone could come and look at those with whom they communicated over the network.

“Looking at the people with whom you communicate for a long time on the network is quite interesting. The first impression is no longer so important for you - how he looks, or how you look in his eyes, it is communication that is important. I think that’s why it’s easier for many to communicate when they don’t no frames, even if they are external,” Rubleva noted.

Olga said that in a few years she made many friends who moved from virtual life to real life, but there were also those with whom communication ended after the first meeting. “On the net, there is a danger of creating an image for yourself that does not correspond to reality, and you won’t understand this until you meet a person,” the interlocutor explained.

Emancipation and illusions

As Tatyana Pushtova, a psychologist from Vladivostok, told RIA Novosti, relationships on the Internet are as real as in life, although they do not provide the fullness of communication. The Internet itself is just one of the platforms for communication, maintaining connections, it helps to bring people together, but people build relationships themselves.

“Dating via the Internet is one of the most popular ways today. Thanks to him, many have found their soulmate and friends, but do not forget that not all people who have been added to your page are your friends,” she said.

She said that communication on the Internet allows people to remove certain complexes from themselves, and therefore it is often easier than in reality.

"For example, if a person stutters, it is difficult for him to overcome shyness because of this, or he is shy because of dissatisfaction with his appearance. All this affects him in ordinary life, but on the Internet he can not be afraid of this and be himself, "Pushtova said.

She noted that, despite all the advantages of communicating on the Internet, one must be very careful when communicating with people. When communicating, many begin to share very personal things, which can be used by dishonest interlocutors. In addition, there is a danger of creating illusions.

"When people communicate on the Internet for a long time, they have a desire to meet each other in life and take their relationship to another level. Of course, there may be times when you like a person on the Internet, but when you meet him, you understand that this is absolutely not what you expected. When communicating via the Internet, it is best not to build illusions that may not come true, "said the psychologist.

She added that, despite all the advantages, the Internet is able to provide communication that opens only one third of a person. To get to know him better, you also need live interaction, since for full communication you need to see, hear and feel the interlocutor.

Until recently, it seems, no one knew what a computer, the Internet. And now without them nowhere. Computers are used in the work of specialists in most professions. Students and schoolchildren resort to their help in preparing for classes. Computers have also penetrated into the leisure of people. Computer games, social networks, dating sites. And speaking of services that provide chatting in Internet, without them humanity simply does not know how to live. Everyone has "ICQ" on their home, work computers and even phones.

Are social networks dangerous?

Social networks have become very popular among young people. Every day their number is growing. For modern teenager it is normal to have accounts (personal pages) on Odnoklassniki, Vkontakte, Facebook. These services are diaries that are in the public domain. IN in social networks you can exchange messages, publish news, post photos, listen to music of various genres, watch movies. Online communication may soon exclude real communication between people.

If we delve into the history of the development of mankind, then at the stage of "Homo Sapiens" people had a need for communication, as a way of interacting with each other. They had to get food, and it was easier to do it together. They lived in communities with their own internal rules of conduct. So why do we now try to avoid this communication? Blame it all comfortable conditions life? Or maybe the desire to avoid a situation of failure in the circle of friends or colleagues?

Communication on the Internet: what is the point?

• The very first thing to say is anonymity. Filmed psychological barriers. A modest guy can position himself as a macho. Or a girl who likes a guy will not talk to him in life, but easily on the net. On the Internet, if you do not want to, no one will know what you look like, what your social status is, whether you are wealthy or not. Some individuals generally invent a new life for themselves.
• Second - voluntariness. You yourself choose with whom to communicate and at any time you can stop the conversation. In reality, this will not work. If you are tired of communicating with your opponent, then you can’t just turn around and leave, you will have to explain why you did it.
• Third - information exchange and perception. The opportunity to get to know the person you like better. But still, without a personal meeting, you can never be completely sure of that person behind the monitor. But this is the “highlight” of communication on the Internet.

To convey emotions in written messages, “emoticons” were created on the network, and special slang was invented. Emoticons are graphic expressions of gestures and facial expressions. Slang refers to various words - abbreviations. For example, "LOL" is an abbreviation for the phrase English language"laughing out loud", which means "laugh out loud".

The culture of communication on the Internet

The whole variety of types of communication in reality comes down to three main ones on the network:

• Business
  Communication as the transfer of working information, the solution of various issues. As an example, sending out a resume when applying for a job. This will save both you and your employer time. The ability to communicate with colleagues from other countries using the Skype service will speed up the workflow. Literally in a minute they will be able to receive the documents sent by you. You can arrange video conferences. Global event at low financial costs. And for "freelancers" the Internet has become a way to make money. With a flexible and convenient work schedule, they receive good remuneration.
• informal
  Communicate with friends in a language you understand. Mostly resort to social networks and instant messengers. Who did not shudder at the sounds of a working "ICQ"? In social networks, people are also looking for "second halves." The search for a partner has become much more diverse. Finding a guy from another country is no longer a problem. However, what will be your disappointment when, after a long conversation, not a tall muscular brunette comes to the meeting, but an unremarkable “nerd”. He just wanted to please you, that's why he invented a different appearance for himself, a life. But still, communication on the Internet will not replace the warm hugs of a loved one on a winter evening.
• gaming
  It differs from informal in that it depends on the type of game. So in role playing interaction is based on the principles of the theater. Each participant receives a role that must be played to the end. In games, characters often unite in communities to attack the enemy clan, for example. Group correspondence is almost always backed up by action. There are meetings of such groups in real life on the basis of common interests.

Is online communication dangerous?

As in any life situation Internet communication has its pros and cons.
The pluses include the ability to communicate with friends from all over the world. By cons - lies, deceit, cyber - addiction.

Online anonymity encourages people to be deceived. You can always embellish something in yourself, in your life as a whole. And since communication is built on trust, if your deceit is accidentally exposed, it is unlikely that a person will be able to trust you. Often there are cases of flirting in social networks. More often than not, this communication leads to nothing. Either real meetings do not take place, or people are disappointed in their Internet partner.

Fraud on the Internet can lead to the loss of personal funds. So you will think that you are helping a person, and he will take the money and disappear. At best, it will disappear. And there were cases when maniacs lured their victims to a meeting. You will not begin to suspect a person with whom you have been communicating for about a year on the Internet. Be carefull!

It happened that families broke up due to the fact that one of the partners was fond of communicating online. It is believed that online cheating is not ordinary cheating. However, if such a connection is revealed, then the matter may reach a divorce. The second half experiences feelings exactly the same as when a loved one cheats.

The ease and unobtrusiveness of communication on the network leads to a loss of communication with the outside world. The desire to communicate in reality is lost.

The presence of a prerequisite for the development of cyber-dependence can be determined by the results of the following test.

Answer the following questions:

• If you do not have access to the Internet, do you feel depressed, irritated?
• Are you able to spend the last money on the Internet?
• Is there a risk of losing family, work, friends, due to the constant presence in cyberspace?
• Do you worry about your accounts when you are offline?
• Will you feel more comfortable if you spend more time on the Internet resources?
• Do you sometimes feel obsessed with the idea of ​​the internet?
• Are you spending more time on social media than you plan to?
• Is the internet a cure for depression for you?
• Do you lie to your family when you talk about the time spent on the Internet?

If at least three questions you clearly answered “yes”, then you have something to worry about.

Not so long ago, American scientists conducted a survey of users of a well-known social network, in which about a thousand people participated. It turned out that people who do not receive “likes” (good ratings) for photos are seriously worried about this. There is a known case when a resident of Serbia, Snezhana Pavlovich, was so upset that her note was not appreciated by her "electronic" friends, that she ended up ... in a psychiatric hospital. Physicians even have a new term - "Snezhana's syndrome".

However, it happens differently: when there are too many virtual compliments, self-esteem skyrockets, which can complicate relationships with others. Conclusion - treat "likes" with irony. After all, we do not live in a virtual world, but in the real world.

Danger #2: Envy and Aggression

Many psychologists admit that not all people like to see someone else’s happy life: “I’m in the Maldives”, “My first boomer”, “My wedding in Cyprus”, etc. It is clear that by posting “status” photos, we want to show the best moments of your life - no one advertises the worst, but for many virtual "friends" this causes irritation, aggression and envy. It seems to them that life has failed, since they were not in the Maldives, they played a wedding in a Moscow apartment, and they drive old Zhiguli. Therefore, it is better to post photos on social networks easier. And share success with those closest to you: those who sincerely rejoice for you.

Danger #3: Fraudsters

Seeing the real name and surname in the profile, you can be found not only by old classmates, but also by scammers (especially if there are “rich” photos on the page). The Internet is full of all sorts of databases. If you enter a person's full name there, you can get information about where he lives, works, his phone number, even what cars were in the family. Therefore, do not post too much information about yourself and forbid children to indicate their home address and phone number on their pages. It is undesirable to even write the date and place of birth - attackers can use this for criminal purposes.

In no case do not write statuses like “Flew to the sea. I'll be back in a month." And don't add everyone as a friend - only those you know well.

Danger number 4: substitution of real life for virtual

While the user of Odnoklassniki, VKontakte, My World or Facebook is browsing the pages of his friends, he does not notice how time flies. And if a mature person spends an average of 30 minutes a day on social networks, then a young person spends 3 hours or more. This is fraught with the fact that the user "gets stuck" in the virtual world, forgetting about real friends and real problems. And some even “move” to the network, starting not only to communicate, but also to engage in virtual sex. According to Francisco Alonso Fernandez, President of the European Society for Social Psychology, cybersex has become a real drug. About 12 million Internet users are addicted to it. Half of them prefer virtual intimacy to real.

Therefore, do not sit online for too long: computer addiction is treated with difficulty! Sometimes even treatment in a psychiatric hospital is required.

Danger #5: Job Loss

According to a CareerBuilder report, 45% of employers view job seekers on social media. At the same time, 35% of them refuse potential employees upon finding provocative photos or comments (especially those showing a love for alcohol).

By the way, the “acting” boss can go to your page, so if you haven’t removed compromising information yet, don’t put it off indefinitely. Or make the page available only to friends. In the meantime, according to surveys, 65% of social network users do not block the viewing of personal data.

“People are getting used to virtual communication. They don't interact much in reality. I can't call myself an active Internet user. But, of course, the Internet is an integral part of my life as well. Virtual communication with friends has long become familiar, although I always try to at least call them up.

Modern children are familiar with the Internet from an early age. Many parents know that various dangers lie in wait for children online. In this article, we have collected material about what threats exist on the Internet and how parents can protect their children from these dangers through setting rules, conversations and using special programs.

Why the Internet is dangerous for children and teenagers: types of threats

The main types of threats on the Internet for children:

• Sites related to sex. The Internet is full of services that promote unhealthy sexual relations: sex for money, various depravities, homosexuality. You need to protect your children from this, especially if they are still small and do not understand much.
• Sites that disseminate information about prohibited things and concepts. These include terrorism, sectarianism, fascism, etc. Such content can greatly harm the child's weak psyche.
• Games. Firstly, in many games there is violence, murder. Secondly, games are beginning to replace the real world, it’s getting harder for a child to leave the game, especially if he felt like a real hero in the game and he had a lot of friends there.
• gambling. They promise big money in a short time. But it is much more difficult for a child to resist such a temptation than for adults. Under the influence of the desire to win, the child may begin to lose parental money.
• Forums, social networks, dating sites drag the child into the virtual world. He makes friends with a bunch of people on the network, he communicates well there. But in reality, the child may have problems communicating with peers.
• There are many scammers online and it is easier for them to get close to us and our children. There are many ways to deceive a person. Consider one of the most popular methods of cheating on the network. The site asks you to enter a cell number, then comes an SMS about winning a large amount of money. To get them, scammers ask you to send SMS from your phone to another number. As a result, a decent amount is debited from your mobile account.
• Deception in the real world . Through the Internet, anyone can get to know your child, for example, under the guise of a pretty girl and make an appointment with him. Your child comes to the meeting place, and an unknown man approaches him, introduces himself as the girl's father and persuades him to take him to her, as she is ill. In this case, anything can happen to him. Therefore, teach your child not to trust strangers.

How to keep kids safe online - tips for parents

Table. How to protect children from the dangers of the Internet?

Types of dangers on the Internet	How can parents prevent their child from encountering dangers on the Internet?	How should parents act when a child encounters a certain dangerous situation on the network?
Inappropriate Content	Tell your children that there is a lot of false information on the Internet. Teach them to ask you if they misunderstood something. Be sure to ask what your child has seen online. It often happens that he becomes interested in one site, he begins to open other similar sites. It is worth turning on the program of parental control and safe search. They will help in the fight against inappropriate content.	The family should have rules for using the Internet. Thanks to this, the child will clearly know what to do if he encounters inappropriate content. Ask your child what he is looking for on the Internet.
Internet dating	You need to know with whom the child communicates on the Internet, check his contacts to know who he communicates with. If you notice that the child often communicates with people older than his age, then you should talk to him about this. Don't let your child meet online friends without your permission. If he is eager to meet one of his virtual acquaintances, then you should definitely accompany your child. You must know where your child goes, with whom he goes there.	Explain the following rules to your child: 1) Do not give your friend personal information about yourself. And acquaintance with a virtual acquaintance should take place under the supervision of parents. 2) If you feel uncomfortable when communicating with a friend on the Internet, convince him to break off such communication.
Cyberbullying	Talk to your child and convince him to communicate on the Internet politely and without being rude. Teach him how to respond appropriately to messages from other people. Explain to him that you should not continue to communicate with a person who is showing aggression. If the child was offended, then help him out of this situation. On any forum or site, you can block this person or write a complaint about him to the moderator. Explain to him that on the Internet you can not threaten or spread gossip. Keep track of what your child is doing online. Watch his mood after using the Internet.	If a child receives insults by e-mail or other services, it is worth changing contacts on the Internet. If you find a picture of your child's cyber-humiliation online, be sure to contact the service administration or call the hotline.
cyber fraud	Educate your child about scams and encourage them to seek adult advice if they wish to use a service online. It is worth installing an antivirus or a personal firewall on your computer.	If your child wants to make a purchase in an online store, then tell him about the safety rules. It is worth checking all the data about the store (details, name of the legal entity). Find out if the online store delivers a cash receipt. Read the rules of the store carefully. Specify exactly how much you will have to pay for the goods. Tell your child not to give out all the information about themselves when buying an item in an online store.
Gaming and internet addiction	Watch your child and analyze how much time he spends on the Internet every day. Chat with your child, ask what he is doing online. Does he neglect his real hobbies in life: does he play his favorite sport, reads, etc. Look at his mood after each exit from the Internet. If he is in bad mood, aggressive, irritable and does not want to talk to anyone - this indicates an Internet addiction.	Communicate more often with the child, show interest in his personal life, play with it. You can’t forbid him to use the Internet, but you should limit his stay on it. Allow him to use only his own computer or a computer that is in a common room for better control of the child's Internet experience. If you see that the child is attached to the Internet and practically cannot live without it. Convince him that nothing like this will happen if he takes a few hours off the Internet.
Malware	It is necessary to install specialized mail filters and anti-virus programs on all computers. It is worth using licensed programs and data only from trusted places. Explain to the child that you should not download everything, but only verified information. Scan your computers for viruses every week. Be sure to copy important documents to a USB flash drive or disk. Change the passwords on your accounts every three months and don't use overly simple passwords.	Communicate kindly with your child. Position him to yourself, he must trust you. Listen carefully to your child if something has happened. Try to understand how much it affected him. If the child made a mistake and was hacked on a social network or he decided to buy something on the Internet and stumbled upon a scam, then you should not scold him much. You just need to figure it out together and calmly explain to him the rules of action on the Internet. If a child is threatened on the Internet, then you need to find out all the information about this person. Ask the child if he has met him. It is imperative to insist that strangers can't meet. You can try to collect more information about this person, copy the messages that he sent and contact the police. If you notice that the child is not saying something or you cannot understand what happened, contact the specialists, where they will tell you what actions to take in this situation.

Parental Control program - help in ensuring the safety of the child on the Internet

There are a lot of programs for parental control of children on the Internet. Let's consider some of them.

• KinderGate Paid Program Parental Control blocks adult sites, there are settings to restrict access to gaming sites, sites with violence or drugs, etc. You can set a schedule for when the child can surf the Internet. You can see what sites he visits.
• Free browser children's internet filter CyberPapa. Here the filter is turned on and the child visits only children's sites that are carefully checked. Only parents who know the password can turn it off.
• Paid program CyberMama. You can create a time when the child can be online. All this is controlled. You can also block access to the Internet.
• Free children's browser Gogul. This browser has its own children's sites. Here is the time when the child can surf the Internet. You can restrict internet access. Parents receive a full report on which sites their children have visited.
• NetKids. Parents view all the websites that their child visits. They can also block dangerous sites.
• Paid program KidsControl. Here you can manually restrict access to dubious resources, control the time your child spends on the Internet.

Internet safety tips for kids

The first thing parents need to do is to teach the child not to give passwords to anyone. Tell your child, “Never share your passwords with others, even friends. Keep your passwords written down in an inaccessible place. Never give out your password e-mail.» ( A.Levchenko, Assistant Commissioner for Children's Rights under the President of the Russian Federation, Director of the NP Monitoring Center for the identification of dangerous and prohibited content by law)

It is important to teach the child not to share personal information online, not to publish confidential data. Excessive frankness on the Internet is fraught. However, it is important to remember that personal information may become available unintentionally: using auto-fill functions, allowing applications to track the location, filling in the fields with the address and phone number, the child exposes himself to additional danger. The contact of parents with children is a key factor on which the behavior of a teenager in virtual life depends. Parents need to navigate social media, know which sites and how their children spend their time, and, in addition, improve their own level of technical awareness. R. Veraksic, McAfee Security Expert, Intel Security Division)

Communicate more with your children, win their trust, be interested in their affairs, involve them in family games, go with them on . Then your child will not want to surf the Internet for a long time, because real life it will be more interesting for him virtual.

They met through the Internet. Each relationship ended in a new mutual ecstasy. For everyone, these meetings were like an energy charge.

Every day they met in the virtual world, maintaining anonymity. It didn't matter to them who they really were.

“You are my sweet,” she wrote.
"You are my marmalade."
She laughed, "My son used to call me that."
"Mother???"
"David???"

We often hear that only losers or perverts go to dating sites, that online dating is not only ineffective, but can also be dangerous. Say, it's better to go to a bar or a disco to meet someone. Let's try to figure out which of these myths are true, and what undesirable consequences are possible if you approach online dating too lightly.

Dating is for losers (low self-esteem)

Is it true that you can only meet programmers or complete losers on the Internet?

Are there only prostitutes and sex-obsessed young people on dating sites?

First, there are no more of them on dating sites than on the street, in a park or in a bar. And secondly, you yourself choose both the dating site and the purpose of dating. And it is much easier for you to find a person according to the criteria set in the search on a dating site than on the street. Of course, you are not immune from the fact that they will not write you a letter with an offer of intimacy, but note that you are deprived of any physical harassment, being at different monitors. You can simply delete the email and forget about it in a second.

Why do I need the help of dating sites if I am constantly in contact with new people in real life?

Yes... and how many of them are those with whom you would like to live life together? And why are you single now?

Online dating is a complete scam.

Are you saying that you wrote a letter to someone, but he did not answer you? Or maybe he has already met his soul mate, but just forgot to delete the profile? Do not despair, write to another person, to a third... And, perhaps, you will meet your Love with a capital letter.

Acquaintance through dating sites is a long, and expensive...

In the two days that have passed since you signed up on a dating site, have you met your soul mate? And no one said that with the help of a dating site you can quickly find your love, this is just one of the ways of dating, and quite effective. Or can you boast of the best results for the last year of loneliness, before you placed your profile on a dating site? Yes? And why do you still fall asleep in splendid isolation? In addition, the Internet has become more accessible for many - both at work and at home there is access to the Web.

Types of dating site users. How to recognize potential danger?

Pick-ups.

In search of virtual sex on the Internet, there are pick-up artists, men who are looking for dating for the purpose of seduction. Pick-up artists are sure that seduction is a skill that can be developed through constant training. Their main goal is sex, real or virtual, now it is not so important anymore - the main thing is to convince a woman in record time that he is the best and the only one.

The main goal of the Internet pick-up artist is to collect as many girls as possible in his collection and put a tick in front of their names - virtual sex has taken place.

As a rule, such a girl or a young man communicates on a dating site and meets in real life not with one, but with several partners at once.

How to calculate this kind of deception? Try registering a few more accounts and start chatting with the person you suspect of being dishonest. By the way, keep in mind that Internet Casanovas very often “write” typical letters to girls. It is easy to recognize such letters - they do not contain any specific information about the fair sex (there is no name, no word about hobbies and individual traits).

Pikaper's special features:

1. Sense of humor and good looks

2. Pleasant in every way

3. Quick, unusual acquaintance

4. Special perseverance

5. Talk about sex, and only about it.

6. Desire to get a phone number by all means

7. After the first victory disappears for a few days

8. Keep everything under control

9. First to make a date

10. He himself chooses a place for a meeting, without discussing or making compromises.

Trolls (jokers)

A favorite habitat of trolls is dating chats. People come there not only to get acquainted, but also for simple communication on topics of interest to them. The contentious, emotional discussions unfolding on dating chats are the perfect place for a troll to operate.

Troll - "hero-lover"

Gets the thrill of consistently flirting and intriguing online with women. This incites social competition among women who once thought that affectionate names, poems, declarations of love were dedicated exclusively to them. Also, often the naive reaction of women to his actions provokes men to follow his manner and compete in winning female attention, which ultimately leads to the fact that the predominant part of the group concentrates on flirting, and the group ceases to fulfill its main goal.

Trolls - imitators

This deception appears as follows: a not-too-attractive girl finds a photo of a written beauty on the net and puts it instead of her own. As a result, men, communicating with a girl, represent her completely different from what she really is. The apogee of deceit is the first real meeting, to which a girl can come and confess, or maybe simply not appear. How to uncover such a deception? Theoretically, this can be done, of course. So, for example, you can ask a girl to take a picture against the backdrop of a fresh issue of a certain newspaper or your own page on the network. In practice, in the very first letter, a request for this kind of photograph will sound somewhat strange, keep in mind.

scammers

Usually, girls resort to this type of deception, who, after several weeks (months) of communication, begin to ask a man for money for things, trips, solving problems that have suddenly arisen, and so on. At the same time, the representatives of the stronger sex are so fascinated by the ladies that they simply cannot refuse to sponsor them. What is the secret to the success of this deception? The fact is that both during the acquaintance itself (up to the specifics of the photographs, as well as the data in the questionnaire) and during the subsequent correspondence, scammers and scammers (men also very often try on the role of a seductive lady) use some psychological techniques, which are very effective for men. How to avoid this type of "online dating" scam? First of all, we can advise you to be vigilant. Remember that your money is only your money and people who accuse you of stinginess cannot feel any good feelings towards you. In addition, two people are usually interested in getting to know each other, which means that a girl who longs for a serious relationship will definitely find some money herself for the first meeting. In addition, there are special sites on the network with frequent “legends”, names and photographs of scammers, which, if you suspect fraud, will not be out of place to study.

One rather enterprising British citizen entered into correspondence via the Internet with our unsuspecting ladies, turned their heads with compliments, invited them to meet and spend time in one of the Cypriot resorts. The ladies naturally agreed. They came to Cyprus, and there they were already waiting for them in a five-star hotel on the seashore, the hero-lover himself with a bouquet of flowers and a ring on his finger. Then there were delicious three days with gourmet food and expensive wine in the room. The ladies were thrilled and were not at all interested at whose expense the banquet was ... But in vain! Because everything, I repeat, everything was ordered in their name! At the appointed time, the tempter disappeared, leaving his lady to drink some exotic cocktail in a sun lounger on the seashore, where she was found by the hotel administrator, eager to present the bill for payment ...

Marriage swindlers

The scheme of their “work” is traditional: a darling guy with a hanging tongue becomes the favorite of a dating site, interests girls from a few heels, each of whom then bewitches in a personal ICQ, more and more “deserving” her trust. It comes to an invitation to come to visit the girl for a while, to get to know each other better. And nothing is alarming - after all, this is that charming young man, the soul of a dating site. You can definitely trust him one hundred percent. Meanwhile, the darling boy arranges an emergency tour of different cities, "traveling" from girl to girl. After each visit, the next "enchanted" loses money and valuables from the apartment. And the scammer himself, of course, does not appear on the dating site anymore.

You can meet a maniac not only on the streets of the city, but also on a dating site. A well-thought-out profile, a few attractive photos and it will not be difficult for him to organize an Internet acquaintance with a girl who attracts him.

It is often very difficult to recognize a criminal, he is cautious and in ordinary life is no different from a string of similar young people.

The danger that the guy you like may turn out to be a maniac should not be a reason for abandoning Internet dating or going on a first date. Thoughtful actions and precautions will help avoid dangerous situations and save you from trouble.

Safety rules (mainly for girls)

Register on trusted dating sites. Read preliminary reviews about the site on the Internet, see if the site has an official address and phone number, and a feedback form.

Under no circumstances should the home address appear on the Internet pages. Do not immediately give your phone number and address until you know the person better.

Carefully read the profiles (questionnaires) and look at the photos before giving someone your contacts. If something seems suspicious to you, then it is better to immediately stop communicating.

Check the identity of a man in all known ways. If the intentions of your interlocutor are pure, then he will never refuse to give you the address of his profile in some major social network.

Do not send money to anyone, and in general, there is no need for victims.

If we are talking about meeting a person from another city or country, and the man invites you to visit and promises to pay your expenses only upon arrival, then there is no need to take a loan, get into debt and pay back the last. After all, he may not keep his word, and even not meet you.

If a man is going to visit you, book him a hotel room. What if he turns out to be a psycho and ruins your or rented apartment? You will pay for the damage. And then, in a hotel, you don't have to cook breakfast for him if you don't like him.

Do not settle for a meeting in a quiet secluded place! A cafe or bar will be the perfect place for a first date after Internet dating.

Get to the meeting point on your own. Do not accept the tempting offer to pick you up by car. The same applies to the end of a date and the moment of farewell - getting into a car with a young stranger can be dangerous.

End the first date before nightfall. One evening is enough to understand whether you want to continue a relationship with a person from the Internet.

Regular Users

For such users, dating sites have become a soft duvet with which you can cover yourself with your head, get away from everyday reality and problems. They have turned online dating into a routine, a habit, and no matter what they say, they are not ready to give up this game. Their goal is not sex, rather, the fact of conquering another girl (or boy) is important to them.

They are bogged down on dating sites like fishing nets. Having got once and finally entangled in them, such people are unlikely to be able to get out on their own, and even if they get out, the traces of such an adventure will remain in the psyche of the “web-fish man” for a long time.

But the most common type to watch out for at all costs are players. In fact, they are looking for nothing but entertainment. Sometimes their entertainment is very cruel and very hard to hurt. My friend once ran into this. They corresponded for a long time, were already going to meet in real life, and at one fine moment her chosen one told her that he had cancer and he should go to the hospital for an operation. A month later, she receives a letter from his friend: her chosen one has died. And a year later, she meets him alive and well, all on the same site. I will not describe to you the state of mind of my friend, God forbid we go through this.

A similar case was discussed at one of the American forums, where, too, one American young lady suddenly fell ill and her virtual admirer died. The young lady was active, so she conducted her own independent investigation, the results of which shocked her - the failed "deceased" in reality was only 13 years old. This is the miracle of acceleration.

Psychological traps

The first trap is the ease and safety of creating new contacts.

Online "relationships" are extremely easy to start and very easy to end. There is no need to worry about how you look, what impression you make on others: others will see you only if you want it, and the way you want. There is a charming, captivating illusion of a full-fledged emotional life, devoid of those inevitable shortcomings and difficulties that real communication brings. What is the danger. The relationships that we build in real life always require significant mental work to create and maintain them. Internet relationships require almost no emotional labor. Something went wrong? Just remove this contact from your list. Block the ability to send you messages, change your address mailbox, and start over. The ease of creating contacts disaccustoms investing in maintaining them. The result is numerous short and empty virtual relationships, the fear of creating real relationships, the desire to dull the feeling of loneliness with new and new virtual novels.

Trap two. The Internet gives you the opportunity to be yourself.

You are in real life - a boring accountant or a modest engineer - what's the difference? On the net, nothing will prevent you from shining with erudition (there are online encyclopedias at hand) and wit. You can pretend to be a bankrupt oligarch or a girl of easy virtue. You can try on yourself and play any role that you always wanted to play, but it was scary, ashamed, embarrassing. In the network, awkwardness and shame disappear as if by magic - and really, how can it be embarrassing in front of a soulless piece of iron? What is the danger. Psychologists use the concept of "self-identity" to describe the set of qualities that make a person the way he is. Network relationships often lead to the loss of "self-identity", they allow you to play "yourself or another", and there is a great risk of playing too much. There is a change of priorities: real life begins to seem like a boring preamble to the "real". Often, hidden psychological problems are exposed that insistently require compensation. A shy student online becomes a boorish cynic, and a modest housewife becomes an aggressive feminist, whose speech is replete with profanity.

Trap three. The peculiarity of network communication is such that the image of another person in Internet communication is completely devoid of reality.

We fill it own fantasies, latent desires, unsatisfied needs, and we readily believe that the person on the other side of the monitor is really like that. When communicating with their virtual interlocutor, people, of course, are sure that they are communicating with a person who suits them so well, understands them so well, always listens carefully, but in fact, communication takes place with oneself, people communicate with the image that they themselves came up with . At the same time, the content of the replicas coming from the other side of the screen does not matter, since everything said by the interlocutor will be attributed to a fictitious image and endowed with the corresponding meaning. What is the danger. It is extremely pleasant to live in a fantasy world for a while, but it is impossible to continue the illusion indefinitely. If the Internet still spared a part of the consciousness, then there will be a desire to meet with a virtual partner for real, and here it turns out that the created perfect image hardly corresponds to reality, hence disappointment, and sometimes even depression. However, the most formidable danger lies in the fact that, carried away by the illusion, burning with the desire to maintain it as long as possible, people cut off the possibility of creating real, real relationships or interrupt existing ones. The Internet provides colossal opportunities for the development of a person's outlook, his information "feeding". On the other hand, it can be painfully fixated on it. Which often happens. Some go headlong into the illusory-virtual world, enthusiastically communicate with "cyber friends", with "cyber brides" and gradually begin to lose the line that separates the real, everyday life with electronic phantoms. Many say that the Internet develops communication skills, but given the monosyllabic nature of Internet replicas and the use of so-called emoticons, this is hard to believe. So with live contact, an Internet fan can forget what words and how to say, how to behave. Social detraining develops, and sometimes - savagery. In modern psychiatry, Internet psychoses and neuroses have not yet been studied in detail. Although not a very pleasant trend has emerged. People who are overly preoccupied and sometimes zombified by the Internet, as a rule, have a poorer life. People move little, are chained to the computer for hours, hypokinesia develops. They stop noticing the beauty of the surrounding world, lose the ability to have normal human relationships, which are replaced by surrogate, base animal instincts to satisfy desires and get pleasure. Thus, Internet addiction often makes people morally maladapted, with a crippled psyche and no longer able to live in a human society that does not accept them. I would like to finish with a warning: behind the seemingly harmless and fashionable Internet addiction, do not overlook the beginning of a serious neurosis, some kind of borderline psychological syndrome that can ultimately lead to schizophrenia.

What features of behavior should be paid attention to in order to avoid problems?

1. Beware of men who are more loaded with business and work than the President of the country, so that he does not have time to meet with you even during his legal vacation. If a man is busy meeting friends, doing laundry, cooking, etc., then you can imagine what place he assigns to you in his life.

2. Beware of men who can't even be with you online on holidays and other significant dates for you: birthdays, Valentine's Day, or when you need ordinary emotional support. If he can't rethink his plans for the day and put you, at least occasionally, at the top of his list, you will always be at the bottom of his life.

3. Be attentive to what he says about himself, try not to miss any details. If the stories, data, and arguments to support it change every day, that's a warning sign for you. The same red flag is a vague answer to questions you clearly articulate.

4. Be especially attentive to stories designed to arouse sympathy in you, especially about the death of loved ones or loved ones, or unexplained serious illnesses. Remember, if a story sounds too fantastic to be true, then it's not true.

5. Beware of men who try to make you feel guilty about the questions you ask them in order to clarify the situation. If a man tries to accuse you of aggressive behavior in response to a remark you made, then it makes sense to recall the old saying about the best remedy protection.

6. Beware of men who use their children to justify not being able to meet you on his property. Usually they say that they don't want their children to get used to you before he is convinced of the seriousness and strength of your relationship. This concern may be quite justified in the first months of your communication, but if you have already met him several times on your territory, and he expresses a desire to come to you again and again, then it is quite obvious that the problem is not in his children, but in their father.

7. Beware of the so-called elusive men who have mobile phones are always off, or he constantly doesn't call you back for long hours. We advise you to beware if he constantly claims that he did not receive your call or message, and constantly curses his operator for a disgusting connection.

8. If he doesn't show up online or write you back despite what he promised you, and more than that, he doesn't find an explanation that satisfies you, cross him off your contact list. If you forgive him such a disrespectful attitude towards you at least once, be sure that he will repeat this many, many more times.

9. Beware of men whose mood towards you changes like a spring breeze. At first, he cannot talk enough with you, writes to you several times a day, then disappears for a week, or even two. Such behavior is only calculated to make you a victim of his whimsical and careless whims. Play by your own rules, live by your schedule.

10. Check your fan information. If you know where he works, look up his firm's website and check the information given on the website against the information he gave you. In general, try to make the most of the Internet and collect as much information as possible about your admirer before you are going to meet him in real life.