How to get rid of bad memories. You are not more important than others

People tend to torture themselves with unpleasant memories of the past. Thoughts uncontrollably multiply in the mind, creating an oppressive psychological background. Over and over again, these pictures are scrolling in my head.

Feelings of injustice, shame, resentment do not want to leave our memory. But can we help ourselves by replaying unpleasant events in our minds? No, the past cannot be forgotten or changed, but... you can change your attitude towards it.

Ask yourself why is this event so systematically visiting you?

It seems that everything is already left behind, and for some time it does not bother you at all. And suddenly ... something makes bitter memories resurface. You think: after all, you could have acted differently, and everything would have been different. The brain begins to frantically generate an unthinkable number of alternative scenarios, and this whole process is accompanied by pain, regret, guilt, hatred ...

Remember: everything that happens to us always has a rational explanation.

And even in the case of such a seemingly sadistic behavior of our subconscious, which gives out this stream of vile memories, all processes are aimed at our harmonization and improvement. If the events of the past do not let go, if they torment you, causing discomfort, this means one thing: some lesson in life has not been passed, and the psyche will return you to it until the experience is learned. Here it is worth noting the positive message of your inner self. Indeed, for many, serious illnesses arise as an alternative to psychological suffering. This happens precisely in those cases when a person, avoiding such torture, hides the problem deep in himself, not giving it any other way out, except through a gross physical manifestation. Here, the Universe, as it were, puts a person before the condition: change or die.

Your act is the best thing you could do at that moment

So, the events of the past again flooded over you with a wave of sad memories? Congratulations! You have a chance to get better. First, let go of guilt. Whatever happens to you is natural and expedient, this experience was necessary for you. This situation, however unpleasant it may seem, saved you from larger consequences. And your behavior at that moment is the best thing you could do. There is no point in blaming yourself, because you are already working on yourself, you are already a different person. Your consciousness has already generated a lot of options for new behavior in such conditions.

What appears to us as a punishment may well be divine providence that has taken us away from a greater misfortune.

Try to fix what other feelings the surging memories evoke in you, and start working with them. Perhaps anger, hatred, desire for revenge? But everything in life is natural. Why be mad at the person who taught you necessary lesson? He acted only as a lever of the balancing force that sent this person to you. No meeting in life is accidental. Nothing just happens. Maybe you yourself once disturbed the balance, causing someone to experience similar emotions.

You probably think that you did not deserve such cruelty in your address, because you are not a cruel person. However, the patterns of life are not linear. And often, the human mind is unable to unravel the tangle of causes and effects. And what seems to us a punishment may well turn out to be divine providence, which led us away from a greater misfortune. Often, it is. I would say that the Universe teaches us lessons in softness commensurate with the level of our hardheadedness. The thicker a person's forehead is, the harder he has to be hit on it in order for him to realize something.

Thank your "teacher"

And if you still have innuendo, close your eyes, imagine your offender and tell him how much pain he caused you. Tell him everything, and then forgive and let go. Let his image in your head fade and dissolve.

You are not more important than others

It is likely that your ego is so inflated that you are still gnawed by a sense of injustice and a desire to restore it. As a rule, people consider themselves the center of the world. They think that everyone owes them something, they demand something, and they burn in justified anger if something doesn’t turn out the way they want it. The desire to restore justice is caused precisely by this reason. And if you do not cope with a sense of self-importance, the situation that hurt your pride will soon repeat itself.

You are as much a part of the world as any other element. You are not more important than another person, animal or stone. Everything that exists in this world has the same value. Let people be who they are. Show self-sufficiency. Are you really so dependent on the encouragement and recognition of the world around you that you cannot let go of your resentment and anger without indulging your weaknesses? Let go of resentment and hatred. Relax and stop defending your pride. And only then you will understand in what advantageous position you are. Now no one can catch or insult you. After all, only those who wish to be offended can become offended.

Returning, unpleasant memories of the past make us go deeper and deeper into the study of ourselves. Nothing can be forgotten. But nothing matters if the experience is learned. It didn't matter who you were. Because you are who you are.

“The scribes and Pharisees brought to Jesus a woman taken in adultery, and placing her in the middle, they said to Him: Teacher! this woman is taken in adultery; but Moses commanded us in the law to stone such men: What sayest thou?
But Jesus, bending low, wrote with his finger on the ground, paying no attention to them. When they continued to ask Him, He said to them: He who is without sin among you, let him first throw a stone at her. And again, bending low, he wrote on the ground. But they, having heard this, and being convicted by their conscience, began to leave one by one, beginning from the elders to the last; and Jesus alone was left, and the woman standing in the midst.
Jesus, rising up and not seeing anyone but a woman, said to her: woman! where are your accusers? nobody judged you? She answered: no one, Lord. Jesus said to her: Nor do I condemn you; go ahead and don't sin."
Gospel of John 8:2-11

Often, unpleasant moments of the past remain a heavy burden on our hearts. They periodically remind of themselves, spoil the mood, prevent us from developing and moving on.

Therefore, each of us should know how to get rid of bad memories. What's more, it's actually possible.

Is it always necessary to try to get rid of bad memories and what are the ways to do this.

Our memory is arranged in such a way that many important, and sometimes not very important events permanently fixed in it. Some of these events are pleasant, others are not. Over time, our defense mechanism helps us get rid of many bad memories, but some of them remain in our memory, continuing to upset us.

Every time we remember unpleasant events from the past, we relive them. All our energy goes into overcoming all these feelings again. And there is no strength left to just live for today.

Why do bad memories stay in our memory for so long?

Firstly, the painful events that we experience especially emotionally leave a rather deep mark, which is not easy to get rid of.

Secondly, our body keeps them in memory as a warning. It is enough for us to get burned once in order to remember in the future that it is not worth touching the hot. For the same reason, we store memories of other situations when we experienced fear, anxiety, or pain.

Effective ways to get rid of bad memories

And although getting rid of painful memories is not easy, there are several methods that will help you achieve what you want.

1. substitution. If you are bothered by unpleasant memories, try to replace them with new, happy ones. Let them relate to similar places or events, but at the same time carry completely different emotions. So, for example, if you and your family go on a picnic to the park where you once quarreled with your husband, now you will associate this park with a pleasant pastime and certainly not with a quarrel.
2. cleansing. If you have some things that remind you of the bad, then it is better to get rid of them immediately. Too bad to throw it away? Then resell, give to friends, donate to charity.
3. replay. Often we remember situations when we were offended, they laughed at us, outperformed us in some business. There is nothing surprising in the fact that such memories prevent us from moving on, constantly reminding us of what happened. When unpleasant thoughts return once again, imagine that everything went according to a completely different scenario. Over and over again, play in your head how you emerged victorious from difficult situation. Over time, your brain will begin to perceive this fantasy as what really happened, and soon the bad memory will no longer spoil your mood.
4. Full life. Try to come up with as busy and interesting schedule as possible for yourself. If you are constantly busy with exciting and pleasant things for you, then you simply will not have time for bad memories.
5. Meditation. If all the methods described above do not help, then you can try such a sure method of getting rid of bad memories as meditation. Accept comfortable posture close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Remember that event from the past that gnaws at you, and then imagine it in the form of a drop of water that mixes with thousands of exactly the same drops and disappears in a stormy whirlpool. After that, draw a quiet calm sea in your head and open your eyes at this thought. Such a meditation will take you no more than a few minutes, but upon its completion you will feel like a completely different person.

It is not for nothing that the memory of bad events is stored in our head for so long. We are arranged in such a way as to remember those events that can become a useful lesson for us in the future. And therefore, even from bad and intrusive memories that can upset and spoil the mood, there is a certain benefit.

By remembering our mistakes, we learn not to repeat them. Remembering how we were deceived, we try to be more critical of unfamiliar and untrustworthy people. Having got into trouble because of our ignorance, we begin to carefully prepare for important points In my life. This is why some bad memories are important to us and have full right and continue to be in our memory.

In addition, sometimes it is thanks to them that we feel the whole range of human emotions. Life is not only joy and fun. It is also anger, resentment, remorse. And no matter how unpleasant all these feelings are, they are what allow us to feel alive.

As we can see, getting rid of bad memories is really possible. But the main thing is to figure out for yourself whether they really bring us only harm.

Happy memories and good mood!

Video: How to get rid of negative thoughts

It's easy to believe that past events should leave you alone just because they've already passed, but it's actually not easy to let them go. Experiences that have made a strong impression on us, especially of a negative nature, can affect a person at a neurological level. They can also leave marks in our bodies and minds that can influence our behavior for years, if not decades. Memories of these events can affect you on both a neurological and psychological level, and you may or may not be aware of it. Learning to live with these experiences can be difficult, but it is never impossible, no matter how powerful and impressive your experience may be. Although it will take time and effort on your part to release the influence of painful memories, there are several ways you can learn to let go of painful memories.

Steps

cognitive work

physical signs emotional trauma. Sometimes particularly powerful memories can leave visible physical marks that indicate emotional trauma. If you have certain symptoms, it is possible that your painful memories are related to some kind of emotional trauma that is affecting your physical health. Each person reacts to trauma differently, so it is important to consider your specific situation, perhaps in dialogue with a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Realize the impact. The first thing you need to understand is exactly how painful memories can affect your current life. Because particularly powerful experiences from the past can affect you at the most subtle neurological and psychological level, you may not always be aware of how they affect your behavior in the present. Because all of your current ideas and behaviors have been influenced to some extent by your actions in the past, those actions that left painful memories often affect you more than others.

• For example, you may experience extreme anxiety around a lake due to a near-death experience involving water, or you may unconsciously avoid certain activities or places that remind you of a deceased loved one. Whatever your case, you need to understand how these painful memories affect your present life in order to come to terms with them and accept their impact on your daily life.
• To find out how they affect you, think about how you react to certain things. Recall any significant changes you may have noticed in yourself between the traumatic events and your current behavior. If you're not sure you'll be able to notice these changes yourself, ask others if you're behaving differently, if they've noticed any changes in your behavior that may indicate areas of your life that have been affected by the memories.

1. Work with anxiety. When you start to feel anxiety in a situation that reminds you of painful memories, work with that anxiety. Define the memories as such and experiment with what happens instead of removing yourself completely from the situation. Psychologists have several different techniques for dealing with such questions, but there are two similar and effective methods– mind vision and awareness. In both cases, the goal is to learn to pay attention to when anxiety occurs. When it does, you need to focus on the aspects of the situation that you can control, such as breathing, to slow down the situation to the point where you no longer feel overwhelmed.

   Focus on the future. Living in the past and in your painful memories is unhealthy. You will never be able to move forward or enjoy something new if your mind is constantly fixated on the past. This type of repetitive rumination has been linked to depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and many other problems. To get rid of this repetitive thinking, engage in activities that help you focus on the present or the future. Make plans with your friends for the weekend, think about a vacation you would like to save up for, think about career or life goals that you have yet to achieve. Any positivity will help you divert attention from the downward spiral of painful memories.

   New Habits

   1. Start keeping a diary. Keeping journal entries is one of the most effective ways help to cope with the painful events of the past. Try writing about the past and present to learn more about how painful memories affect you. Putting these experiences into narrative form will give you some degree of control over your vision of the importance of these events in your life. It will also help you release the emotions associated with those memories that you may otherwise find difficult to reach.

      • One day, just sit down and start writing about every experience that comes to mind in as much detail as possible. This will help you perceive the effect of painful memories for two reasons. First, it will allow you to see the connection between situations in your life and your emotions. Secondly, writing can be a kind of cleansing experience where you can experience a sense of creative freedom that will help you avoid feeling the heaviness of previous life events.
      • If this is difficult for you, start small - just write down what happens to you during the day. If you feel like connecting what happened to something that happened to you in the past, let it happen, but don't direct your letter in any particular direction.

   2. Develop fun habits. To help you deal with painful memories, try to create new, more pleasant memories and form new habits. Painful memories can eat you up inside if you spend too much time alone and ignore your own inner desire for relationships with other people. Surround yourself with people and activities that give you joy. Humans are by nature social beings, so in order to experience a sense of pleasure and joy, we are very likely to need relationships with other people, especially those that involve touching or other forms of intimacy.

      • This does not mean that you should spend time with everyone you know. It will likely take some effort on your part to figure out what really brings you joy. But when you find such an activity or group of people, try to reorganize your daily life to maximize your enjoyment.

   3. Shake up the routine. If you get bogged down in the gray everyday life, it gives you too much time to think about the past. Try experimenting with environment and social groups to shake up your regular routine a little from time to time. This is especially necessary if you feel a lack of pleasure in Everyday life. If you notice that you are heavily preoccupied with painful memories from the past, you may need to step out of your comfort zone and place yourself in an environment you have never been before.

      • If you constantly feel isolated from others and unable to meet people who will support you, it may be time to experiment and connect with completely new people in situations you don't normally find yourself in. This can lead to you getting to know the right type of people who can support you in the way you need it. In addition, it will help you worry less about the past, providing you with more interesting activities and more interesting people present.
      • Try taking a mixed martial arts or yoga class. You can even just go for a walk in the park. The key here is simply to put yourself in a situation you don't normally find yourself in, or in the company of people you don't normally spend time with. Painful memories can become part of a psychological loop that otherwise becomes part of your daily routine and habits.

   Help from outside

   1. Ask for the opinions of others. If you feel like you need an outside perspective or find it difficult to get out of your head, ask your loved ones if they noticed any changes in you after the experience that left you with painful memories. This will require some courage on your part, as they may tell you something that you do not want to hear. However, another person, especially one who is very close to you, can often notice what you failed to notice.

      • Ask someone you trust, such as your best friend, sibling, parent or close colleague, without any preconceived notions.

   2. Join a support group. If you can't find people to support you on your own, or if you want to talk to someone who won't be close to you, try joining a support group that focuses on your problem. These groups are numerous and focus on a variety of issues such as substance use, domestic violence, loss of loved one, anxiety and depression.

      Contact a mental health professional. If you can't deal with your painful memories on your own, find a doctor who specializes in psychological trauma. Behind professional help it is also worth turning to if painful memories become unbearable for you. Mental health professionals, such as psychologists or psychotherapists, are trained in a variety of essential skills and use therapeutic techniques that are designed to help people become more productive and constructive in their daily lives despite painful experiences they may have had in the past. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. No need to feel like a failure or be ashamed to ask for help.

      Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is a popular treatment for past trauma. CBT is generally a short-term, problem-focused approach to anxiety and depression in which a therapist helps you adjust your beliefs and thought processes. He helps you line them up so that they are more in line with your desires. CBT is more active than other forms of therapy and requires effort on your part to change your behavior and thoughts. A therapist can help you work through problems, give you exercises and procedures to do at home, and help you change your overall behavior.

      • Look for a mental health professional who specializes in this particular method if you think it might be effective in your particular situation.

   3. Ask about the eye movement desensitization and processing (EMDR) method. Your doctor may also try eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). The EMDR method uses your body's natural responses to past experiences, using eye movement to unlock memories and allow you to deal with them more easily. This technique uses repetitive eye movements along with cognitive behavioral therapy to help trigger traumatic memories so you can deal with them instead of suppressing them. This method treats mental health in the same way as physical health. If you have a traumatic memory that eats away at your mind, it will never be able to heal, despite your brain's natural healing abilities.

Hello dear readers! Unfortunately, many of us are drawn to the past. It just so happens that previous experiences influence the present and the future. Sometimes it can help build a more successful destiny, but more often it only complicates the path.

Today we will talk about how to get rid of memories of past relationships. You will be able to understand a lot and not make the mistakes that people so often make when entering a new life.

Where does the heaviness come from

In general, memories are a typical phenomenon that all people face. The breakup process suggests that even after you've kind of cooled off, there are occasional relapses. If you want to know more about how this process takes place, I can recommend the article. It’s completely normal that some facts from life with a former lover pop up in your thoughts every now and then. You shouldn't blame yourself for this.

How do you feel about these thoughts now? What feelings do they evoke in you? Perhaps you are worried about unmet expectations. There is a possibility that you cannot understand the reasons for the breakup and that is why you think about them so often. With bitterness, disappointment and constant attempts to figure it out, to find new versions of what happened.

Try to understand that you won’t be able to learn anything new, you won’t be able to live the situation in a new way either. I'm sure you understand this even now, but you can't help it. Traitorous memories of a once loved person just creep into my head.

Unfortunately, you won't get anything good from them. Try to approach this issue rationally. Try to understand that the past is somewhere behind and you will not get anything new. This will be the first step towards liberation in your life.

Do not speak

In an attempt to get a fresh perspective on our experiences, we often turn to friends and girlfriends. We are happy to retell our story and are waiting for new comments that will help shed light or just take a different look at the old realities, figure out why the husband actually left or the girl preferred another.

Try to avoid such conversations. They increase the relapse time and bring more negative consequences. You fail to let go of memories, on the contrary, you begin to dwell on them. All the answers have already been found, the situation has happened.

Recall any major quarrel or that happened a year ago or more. It is unlikely that less than 5 minutes will pass before you manage to do this. You are no longer touched by that event and does not cause any emotions. This is because you are not trying to reconnect with the part of the brain that stores memories of this.

The more often we think about some fact and try to restore it in detail, the more densely it penetrates into memory. These thoughts begin to seem necessary to the brain, and it seems to be trying to shift them closer so that they are always at hand: like a number mobile phone or home address. AT ordinary life you are unlikely to be able to remember 9 unrelated numbers, but if this is your cell phone, the situation changes.

It's even worse when you start about the relationship with the previous man. It seems that these facts mean nothing to you. Ridiculous stories that just happened once. Know that this is not true at all. You hurt a person with your words and you can destroy everything. Forbid yourself to say out loud any facts from past history.

All new

You don't have to force your thoughts. You still won't get it. If a memory has come, then the maximum that you can do is try not to pay much attention to it and switch in time.

Memories of a previous love are most often triggered by facts that are connected in your brain to an ex. For example, when you are going to cook fish, you walk past cilantro in the store. In general, you don’t like it, but every time you took it, since the former liked this method of cooking. Whether you like it or not, over time, these connections will break down by themselves, especially if you do not focus on them.

No need to try to avoid encountering such things. Some psychologists even advise hanging a portrait on the refrigerator former lover. Thus, you stop perceiving it as evil, get used to it over time, forgive and no longer experience negative emotions.

I would also advise you to add new colors to your life. Help yourself find an activity that allows you to keep your head and switch. That way you won't have time to reminisce. Get involved in a healthy lifestyle. Prepare yourself healthy food, go in for sports. Try to realize some old dream or find a part-time job.

You need to change your routine to match the new status, not only will you not be able to live in the old way, but it will also bring a lot of experiences and reminders of past moments.

You can actively search for a new second half. Where and how to look for it will help the book "A successful acquaintance, a quick marriage, a long happy relationship" Satya Das.

You will not notice how there will be no time left to think about the past. See you soon and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.

I'm terribly forgetful. Tell me your name, and I guarantee I'll ask him again in five minutes (if I remember, of course). I jot down my own ideas in Evernote, write to-do and shopping lists, and once even spent $20,000 on a memory improvement course. Languages ​​are hard for me - foreign words disappear from my head in defiance of the 17-fold repetitions approved by Oxford scientists. But I still remember how he squinted at the sun when we last saw each other. What was he wearing. What did you order for coffee? And what did he say when I asked: “Maybe we should try to start over?”

It's been over a year and it still hurts! Moreover, good memories burn the soul stronger than bad ones. Why does memory work so flawlessly just when it needs to fail properly? And why did I again forget about my mother's birthday, but did not miss the chance to note with sobs the May day of the finale of our romance, when he said that he was leaving and "it's better for both of us"? How wonderful it would be to erase without a trace all the memories that interfere with a normal life - but I do not believe in miracles. I even got used to drifting in a depressive fog, hoping for an indistinct miracle, until compassionate colleagues suggested that I visit specialists and describe this experience: it might help those who, like me, suffer from the burden of the past.

I dreamed about radical methods. Hardcore and deliverance, from here to forever. These days when spaceships plow the expanses of the universe, it's time for humanity to win the battle with painful experiences. Hard drugs do not count, such therapy is fraught with even more sad consequences - from death to criminal liability. Despite the broken heart, I really want to live - in freedom and preferably happily ever after.

Remember everything

I went to an appointment with a psychologist and art therapist Anna Nerey, leaving the remnants of my mood at home. I am seriously infuriated by the favorite message of psychologists: tune in to an active positive. Well, I CAN'T tune in and I feel like a sucker twice - squandering love and unsuitable for therapy. Anna, as a sign of greeting, squeezed my hand with cold fingers, invited me to sit down and save time. “Great,” I thought, “I’ll get off quickly,” and without hesitation I rattled off a 5-minute version of my novel to her. Then she asked for some water and not to advise me on banal things.

Do I understand correctly that you know a set of classic recommendations? Anna looked at me from under her glasses. - Communication with friends, new acquaintances and hobbies, travel, general cleaning, rearrangement, and better repair where you live. Get rid of objects that remind you of the former, and complain less ...

By the way, about “complaining less,” I interrupted. - A paradoxical moment: why do I want to complain, but I'm embarrassed to admit my weakness? In general, it was as if they had replaced me - before, everything was simpler and clearer for me, but now I can’t even agree with myself ...

Well, of course, - Anna leaned back in her chair, preparing for an instructive monologue. - Finding your old self is the right way to help alleviate the suffering of the former. Regret, doubt, guilt make us consider ourselves a loser, unable to improve the situation for the better. This, no doubt, negatively affects the perception of reality and the assessment of personal capabilities. And all because our brain is designed like a computer (only with emotions) - it's easy to forget something from random access memory, phone number, new name, words in a foreign language...

I nodded in satisfaction, feeling that they understood me.

But information from long-term memory is more difficult to forget, the psychologist continued. - Especially if the circumstances under which you acquired them were tinged with intense emotions. Imagine how difficult it is for people with the so-called eidetic memory, who remember everything down to the smallest detail! Wanting to save yourself from pain is normal. We want to forget what frightens us or makes us uncomfortable - spontaneous, inexplicable, irrational, unfair. People dream of parting with unpleasant, painful memories - about breaking up relationships, losing a loved one, unrequited feelings, shame, disappointment, disgust ... But you can’t destroy something from memory, erase it forever - such technologies do not yet exist. Moreover, it is not safe. The brain stores information throughout life. But there is a chance, with proper perseverance, to change the emotional coloring of events. Remember everything, analyze, speak out (into a recorder, on paper, to a friend), give vent to emotions, understand and forgive yourself for everything. Tell yourself that it was human actions that helped you to know the world better. See positive options developments, take into account mistakes and gain confidence in your future.

Another important advice- do not think in pathetic categories. All these victories and defeats are senselessly lofty words that have no place in reality. All you need is constant movement forward. Do not stop.

Well, please, be positive. I told you! Forty minutes in Anna's office, I strained my neck with a nod, but on the whole I liked it.

But what about hypnosis? - I asked timidly, already standing in the doorway. I think I'm receptive...

Of course, you still turn to fortune-tellers and magicians. - Anna's look flashed with longing from the category "I beg you." - Now there is an unprecedented surge in the demand for mystical services. Understand that the mind has the ability to repress memories, but all this will crawl into the shadow of the unconscious and sooner or later manifest itself in dreams, moods, and actions. Strong experiences find a way out. And when this happens unexpectedly and against your will, it can be more dangerous and painful than experiencing it or trying to "manually" change the emotional response.

Imp of memory

With love experiences, not everything is so simple ... - Valeria agreed. - Not only memory is involved here. We remember a lot, including the previous, longtime lover, and there are no emotions - well, there was and was. There is such a thing as "Ukhtomsky's dominant" - stable pathways for the passage of impulses, when some area of ​​the brain is constantly overstressed. She's basically horny all the time. Falling in love is a kind of illness, an abnormal condition, the functioning of the brain, where Ukhtomsky's dominant also works. A certain inadequate reaction to a particular person, to his behavior. So, the task is to destroy these dominants, to replace them with others.

For example, if you drown, all love will disappear from your head at that moment. No wonder they say that after you have been on the verge of death, you begin to perceive the world differently. Some dominants are destroyed in the head, others appear. But, of course, I do not recommend suicide in the morning ... But strong emotions, preferably regular ones, can heal.

The methods of getting rid of dominants are the same as those of Ovid, only modernized. Depression is the one who has time to feel like shit. Get busy. When you don't have time, there is no depression.

And if a person died, well, the one who suffers?

It was necessary to sign a contract for cryonics. Because any funeral or cremation in modern world, where it is scientifically proven that people can be revived healthy and young, is just murder. It is desirable to freeze the head or the brain, but whoever has a lot of money, freeze the whole body. And let them wait while we develop the perfect defrosting technology. It's also about health, by the way. You can also freeze terminally (today) patients, so that later they can be brought back to life, when, for example, they learn to defeat cancer in the last stage.

About love. People regularly come to us: freeze me now, I have a terribly unhappy love. But, firstly, we do not have the right (yet) to freeze the living, and secondly...

Oh, the alternative to suicide! I perked up.

Yes. Like the future is more interesting, everything will change, she will regret it, she will love it. But we send such people with the words: “Guys, who will make a great future?” That is, everyone who has an unhappy love will lie and wait, and we will work hard for a wonderful future? Won't go. Interestingly, mostly men apply. Either they have more courage to go to freeze, or they suffer more ... From 25 to 40. For those who are older, the protest is more sluggish, probably ...

What about suffering? They say they form a personality?

And where to go if they do not know how to deal with them? That's what they say, you have to. The right world should be devoid of suffering. The right world is paradise engineering, where everything is like in paradise and the maximum suffering is when the pillow lies incorrectly on the sofa.

There is such a field of medicine - algology, which studies acute and chronic pain and methods of dealing with it. Electrodes to the brain, for example. The longer it hurts, the harder it is to get rid of the pain. The sooner you cover it, the easier it is. This is also about emotional pain - the transmission of a nerve signal is being formed ... And then - the same uncomfortable dominant that needs to be disposed of.

And here is another simple tip: if you have experienced a love collapse, do not fall into the same man next time! It is known that we are constantly attracted to the same type. My friend, for example, married alcoholics all the time until they all died, and so did she. My companion burst out laughing and waved goodbye to me.

I'm really receptive. Valeria radiated such energy and positiveness from the screen of my iPad that, returning home from the office, I saw the world in much more iridescent colors. And in the evening I sat alone again, refusing to meet my girlfriends at the bar. And she cried, of course. I always cry when I think about my loneliness and our intimacy with him. Not only about sex. About the real intimacy that makes the world warmer - about what we will never return. “You can erase love from memory. Throwing it out of the heart is another story ”- a quote from the movie“ Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ”, in which the characters get rid of each other’s memories by contacting a memory cleaning service, but in the end they meet again. Because there are things in the world that are worth experiencing, despite the accompanying pain. In my opinion, love is the essence of life, and my innate human instinct does not allow me to refuse it. I will trust time to anesthetize feelings - and I will live happily ever after, but stronger, freer and wiser.