Person's character. What does the clutter in your house say?

Disorder in the room from the point of view of psychology.

In the article "Clutter in the room from the point of view of psychology" we will tell you how you can deal with the mess in the room. One Bulgarian fairy tale tells about an old man who decided to marry his son, but for the girl to be hardworking and neat. Having loaded his cart with fruits, he went to the village and began to shout out the following phrase, which surprised many, he shouted: “I am exchanging fruits for garbage.” Many took advantage of this quirk and carried bags of garbage in exchange for fruit. Only one girl brought a very small bundle and complained that there was no more garbage in the house. So the old man sent matchmakers to her and was not mistaken in his choice, she turned out to be a wonderful hostess, and the young family lived in prosperity and joy.

But when in our time you go into a different house, you remember the old fairy tale. It is difficult to suppress a grin at the sight of many days of dust, unwashed dishes and scattered things. Probably, this family was created according to other principles of matchmaking. In another house, order reigns, which borders on such sterility that it is simply scary to move something or hurt something. It is difficult not to be glad for the well-being that reigns in the house and not to refrain from complimenting the hostess. And it happens that in a tidy house there is an atmosphere of discontent and tension. And in an uncleaned apartment, people are happy with each other and live in perfect harmony. Why is this happening?

The American psychologist William James believed that in addition to passions, beliefs and interests, it is necessary to include in the structure of the human personality what a person considers his own: dear to my heart things, everyday clothes that copy the shape of the body with folds, favorite books on the home shelf and more. The decoration of the house is an element of the physical self, and you can tell a lot about its inhabitants by looking closely at the dwelling. The first thing that catches your eye is disorder or order. What, from the point of view of psychology, disorder means, is a sign of general looseness, sloppiness and indiscipline. But perfect order testifies to firm principles and spiritual harmony. But such an explanation is very simple to be true. Since at every step life tells us other ambiguous conclusions.

Parents of almost all teenagers complain about their sloppiness, that it is almost impossible to force them to keep order in the room. And the thing is that the interests of the younger generation are broad, directed towards external world and little attached to the details of life. Only when a teenager feels all the inconveniences that a mess brings, will he gradually become neat.

When phone numbers, such necessary ones, are written down on some scraps of paper, when you don’t know where you put the necessary thing, when a place that is intended for meeting friends or for classes turns out to be littered with some things, then you inevitably begin to take care of the order. But only becoming a mature person, a person acquires real accuracy.

Does it mean that the mess in the house indicates that the hostess or the owner failed to grow up properly? Can and will be so a person to live and act in everything, like a little child. But the problem here may lie deeper. We all, in the end, understand that throwing things around is not good.

If a person is not able to put things in order in his house, then this only indicates a serious internal conflict. The accumulated garbage, scattered clothes, and so on, speak for their owner that he is not able to put things in their places.

A full sink of unwashed dishes, dirty linen accumulated for weeks, an overflowing trash can, indicate that I do not know how to set and systematically solve problems, I do not know how to distribute my forces. If a person cannot organize his life, then serious tasks he's not up to it.

Your affairs are not arguing, everything is not going as you would like, don’t you think that serious life situations just out of your control? Of course I would like it unpleasant feeling overcome. Start small, look at your home and find out for yourself where you need to clean up.

When you put your scattered things on the shelves, then you do much more, you learn to streamline your problems, that is, put them on the shelves. Bring clarity to your “physical self” and then the results will not keep you waiting.

There is another extreme. As psychologists have noted, a strong commitment to order and cleanliness is a symptom of self-doubt, a symptom of inner weakness.

Organizing his physical world at home, a person, as it were, seeks to protect himself from chaos big world, which is scary and too complicated for him. Thus, a vicious circle of tension arises: some thing put in the wrong place by someone from the home brings grief and annoyance. Housework takes a lot of time and effort, leaving no room for other important things. And then, in this scraped shell, a feeling of loneliness arises.

Such a trap can be set up for you by a script that was learned in the parental family when order became important life purpose and at any cost. One can only feel sorry for such a person, whose main task is a shiny parquet and snow-white towels. After all, the order in the house is necessary condition, and not a goal, to solve real serious life problems. If we understand this simple truth, then we will find golden mean which distinguishes true harmony - spiritual and material.

Every room in the house has some symbolic meaning and has an effect on your subconscious mind. Rubbish and clutter in every room causes stagnation and inactivity in certain aspects of life.

Mess in the kitchen
No wonder the kitchen is called the “heart of the home”. Here you eat, stock up on some energy, even if you dine on thawed semi-finished products in microwave oven. A dirty and sloppy kitchen creates difficulties in supply and nutrition, on a spiritual and physical level. How you take care of the kitchen, you can tell how you feel about sources of abundance, energy supply, and your own nutrition. A neat and clean kitchen opens up space for the comfort and protection you so desperately need.

Mess in the dining room and living room
These are rooms in which you gather with friends, with family, with people close enough to you. Here you are in contact with the outside world when you are at home, arguing with friends about politics at the dinner table, reading the newspaper, watching TV. Clutter will turn this space into a lair, and you may be so dirty that you do not invite friends over for years. Maybe you are hiding from others in a pile of garbage?

Mess in the bedroom
Bedrooms for adults are a place of intimacy and for sleep, they must perform the function of renewing relationships and people. Clutter in the bedroom will not bring energy, but weakness. If you feel tired in the most intimate space, just clean up, and this will help you move away from stress and relax. And only then you can have a good time with your partner and have a sweet sleep.

Mess in the hallway
The corridor is the artery of your home. And the mess in your hallway is like a "traffic jam" on the road. It interferes with interaction. different parts your life and your home. Look at the corridor: is it so difficult not to stumble in it, is it easy to walk along it, is it well lit? If you have difficulty interacting with people and with yourself, between family and work, it’s probably time for you to clean up the corridor.

Mess in the bathroom
Body care and bathing is such a daily ritual. V Everyday life this is the space you use so that you can prepare to communicate with the world. Clutter in the bathroom indicates a lack of attention to yourself, and not only on a physical level, it also indicates low self-esteem. A well-decorated and clean bathroom can be a place to rejuvenate and take care of yourself, a serene and peaceful place. Decorate your bathroom, put things in order, turn it into a place where you can hide from everyone and be with yourself, where you will feel safe during the evening and morning rituals of washing.

Mess in the toilet
When you fill the toilet with rubbish, you suppress your insight and intuition. A dirty toilet indicates problems that make it difficult to develop in relationships and work, make it difficult for you to develop in life, problems that you are not really aware of. When the toilet door is tightly closed, this does not mean that you have gotten away from problems.

Chaos in the garage
Your car is a symbol of independence and mobility. If you have a dump of things in your garage, your car can hardly fit there, then you need to be very careful, and it is very difficult for you to move through life.

Now we know what a mess in a room is from the point of view of psychology. Don't think of cleaning as something terrible. Every shirt you give to a new owner, every book you take to the library. And also, every sheet of paper and magazine that you turn into waste paper will create space in your life for events, joy and new energy.

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Actually, this is all you need to know about the nightmare that is happening in the teenage abode. If you are not ready to put up with it, but intend to do something and crave details, then the family psychologist Marina Slinkova will provide them to you.

Marina Slinkova

Psychologist at the Center for Systemic Family Therapy

Hygiene issues

A family in which a child enters adolescence faces the problem of redistribution of power and revision of agreements. Rights and obligations are changing - not only for a teenager, but for all family members. Keeping a room tidy is not a matter of hygiene. In any case, this is far from being primarily a matter of hygiene (although you may not think so).

Are you afraid that the child will get used to living in a mess and remain dirty forever? Most likely, it would have been so if the whole house was always a mess. But then why did the idea suddenly arise to demand order in a single room? If in your bedroom there are books on the bed, socks on the table, and shoes wandering around the house, if the kitchen is crammed with boxes and jars that will “someday come in handy”, and toothpaste is constantly open in the bathroom, then why is the son’s unmade bed or Does your daughter make you so nervous?

If the whole house has a familiar order, then the child will have the opportunity to compare and choose between order and chaos. In the vast majority of cases, young people eventually come to the idea of ​​order.

How to respond to clutter

How to respond to clutter

Cleaning a teenager's room is specifically in his interests and does not directly concern you. You can close the door and not see the mess in his room: your things are not there, which means they cannot get lost. You can invite guests to someone else's territory only with the permission of the owner, which means you don’t have to blush for a mess.

It turns out that you are annoyed not so much because of the disorder as such, but because there is a place that is now beyond your control.

Of course, if a teenager's things are scattered outside his room, then you can insist that he put them away. He wants freedom and independence - for God's sake. But without encroaching on the freedom and territory of parents and other family members.

Your child is now going through a transition from a child's perception of the world and himself to an adult. Now it is important to separate situations that affect the interests and life of a teenager, and situations that affect the interests and lives of parents and the family as a whole. It is necessary to determine spheres of influence in advance and provide for sanctions for intrusion into foreign territory. If it was not possible to stipulate in advance, then it is not worth making claims after the fact. Better discuss it some time later and make any necessary corrections. Relatively speaking, if a teenager scratched the kitchen table while sawing his gadgets, then he is not subject to immediate execution. But when your anger boils over, we need to discuss sanctions for the future. But - equally! - if you decide to rearrange the disks in his room from the table to the shelf or sort the linen in his closet, then you also invaded someone else's territory. At the very least, you should apologize.

The mess as a form of protest

The mess as a form of protest

When you clean up the mess in the room of your son or daughter, you equip his room for yourself. And even when you, allegedly demanding independence, call on him to put things in order, then we are still talking about order in YOUR understanding. And the child argues something like this: if I clean the room, it will cease to be mine, it will look like yours. It turns out that in the family between order and dependence on parents, an equal sign is put: got out = obeyed.

"It's impossible to find anything in his room," mum says indignantly. Indeed, it is difficult to navigate someone else's territory, but perhaps your child is trying to work out his own system of placement in space.

You like it when all your things are in their usual places, at your fingertips - then you can easily find them, quickly get down to business, you can instantly pack up and take everything you need ... But we forget that we equipped and optimized our space through trial and error. Why don't you let your child follow the same path?

You can often hear from mothers: "I'm tired of looking for his scattered things." But if you get tired, then why on earth will the child eliminate "tiring" factors? Let him feel the discomfort of the mess himself. Do not get involved in the search, but just sympathize. I emphasize - sympathize, not gloat.

You cannot change the way teenagers think and act, but you can change how you react to what is happening. So, you will get a different reaction from children.

"What is this ruin of yours?
The devastation is not in the closets, but in the heads."
Bulgakov M.A.

Ladies accustomed to keeping the house in perfect order may be perplexed: “What 11 reasons! Only one - laziness!

This article will be useful for such categorical ladies and those who consider themselves lazy, too busy, guilty, and many, many others.

So, 11 reasons why "devastation" settles in your house.

1. Maximalism

Does this word mean anything to you? Under this definition, the slogan is excellent: "All or nothing." Do you think this is an advantage or disadvantage? Judge for yourself - because of this quality, you think: "I don't have time for a thorough cleaning." And that's why you don't do anything. Down with maximalism from our life! Even if you devote only 10-15 minutes to cleaning, it's better than nothing at all.

2. Lack of self-respect

Well, a self-respecting woman will not walk in dirty shoes, live in a dirty house and so on. The motto: "Yes, I'll do it" is harmful not only for you, but also for your family! First it will come down to you, then to your entourage, then to all your household members. The incentive to put things in order out of self-respect is very effective and pleasant. Clean your sink just for yourself, because you deserve such a sparkling sink.

3. Exhaustion

You don’t have enough energy to clean up because you didn’t take time for yourself. Have you been taught to think that you should think first of all about others? Everything is correct. But without making time for yourself, you will never be able to give it to others. What do you dream about - visiting a salon once a week, reading in the evenings, hobbies, sauna, shopping, a cafe with a friend, a walk, a massage? Who will make your dreams come true for you? The fulfillment of cherished desires, only without a shadow of guilt, is your source of energy, which you will then direct to do a lot for others, including putting things in order. So half an hour every day, plus a couple of hours once a week just for yourself.

4. Absent-mindedness

There is some room for sound criticism here. In part, the saying can be applied here: “it’s clean not where they clean it, but where they don’t litter it.” Surely you can easily notice the process of throwing clothes, backpacks, personal belongings behind your husband and children. Do you notice this for yourself? They took the comb, but did you put it back? Dinner has been prepared, but have the dishes been put in place? During the day, make sure you return the items you have taken back to their place. This will greatly reduce cleaning time.

5. Things have no place

This point is related to the previous one. Be puzzled by this question: “Do all things in our house have their place?”. Where are the receipts, keys, shoe polish, dirty laundry, records, bags, packages? Perhaps throughout the house, and not just because all household members are so irresponsible. Often simply because these things do not have their place. They put them where they have to, where they multiply the mess. Give each thing its place and make sure that everything returns to its place, immediately!

6. Magnets for clutter

These are such amazing places that simply attract all the objects in the house. We went home with the bags, put them on the chest of drawers, so they stay there until we need something. Dinner table attracts so many objects that there is simply nowhere to dine afterwards. Anything can be such a magnet - a bed, desk, window sill, washing machine. Try to isolate these magnets and clean them first, even if you only have 5 minutes to clean.

7. Junk. How we value them!

After all, it was for him, precious, that the architects designed balconies, loggias and storage rooms! We appreciate it so much that even in the house it finds its place, and every year we give it more and more space. "O! Wow, I completely forgot that we have a waffle iron! Don't clean up, I'll be baking in a few days." "Do not throw away the rest of the plaster, suddenly, that you need to cover up!". “I don’t know what to do with this skirt. Everyone hoped to lose weight. “This coaster for glasses was a gift from my aunt, it’s somehow embarrassing to throw it away now.”

We can go on endlessly, but as long as the trash is in our house, we will never get rid of the mess. Learn to throw away without regrets, or give away, because there are those who right now need a skirt, a cast or a waffle iron.

8. Underestimating the little things

Dry the sink immediately after use, wipe the bathroom mirror as soon as splashes are noticed, wash the glass immediately after use. Do not think that for this you need to allocate special time for cleaning. Attention, now we are talking only about the little things! You should not go through the wardrobe as soon as you looked into it, we'll talk about this in the next paragraph.

9. Cleaning once a week

You don’t work all week to dedicate half the weekend to cleaning the house, do you? It is better to distribute the cleaning throughout the week, devoting about 30-60 minutes to any area. And do not forget about the little things and maximalism!

10. No list

Can't cover all the cases with your eyes? Then write them down. Do laundry on Monday, scrub kitchen cabinets on Tuesday, wash the door on Wednesday. Do not write a lot of things, do everything gradually.

11. Sloppy home clothes

Yes, slovenliness attracts disorder. Dress neatly first of all at home, and you will notice how your home will begin to look better. Afraid to mess up nice clothes. Firstly, use an apron, and secondly, you will notice that in good clothes your movements will be more accurate, worthy of a real lady!

As you can see, among the listed causes of disorder there is no laziness! Dear ladies, you all deserve to live in a clean house, so let's start cleaning step by step.

It is difficult for a person who is in an uncomfortable environment to do their usual things. The mess in the apartment significantly reduces the productivity of work and the quality of rest. Even the ancient monks believed that clutter was an uncomfortable environment for meditation. However, this phenomenon has psychological reasons.

in the House

There are people who were brought up by sloppy parents. They often ask: "What makes an apartment a mess?" This is a large number of things that are not in their places. For example: clothes that are scattered all over the room, mountains of dirty dishes, garbage on the floor, pieces of paper from food, and so on. A photo of a mess in an apartment of a clean person will shock you. After all, for him, every room in the house has its own meaning and affects the morale.

Why there is chaos

Hard-working people simply do not have time to clean because of the busy work schedule. However, in any free time, a clean person would put things in order in his house. Common causes of mess:

1. Protest against surrounding people and distressing situations. A person perceives cleaning as submission. Therefore, his apartment is constantly a mess. This is influenced by the upbringing by strict and clean parents who forced their children to clean the room all the time against their will.
2. Irresponsibility. The sloppy owner in the apartment is constantly a mess. He shifts his responsibilities to other family members. Such people try not to be responsible for their own mistakes and actions, shifting the blame to others.
3. Clutter reflects psychological problems that even folk wisdom speaks of. This is confirmed by the famous phrase: "A mess in the head is a mess in the apartment." People in this way unconsciously demonstrate to others their defenselessness and weakness in the hope that someone will help.
4. Fatigue. It happens that the owner constantly does not have enough energy to clean. This can happen due to heavy work or study loads. Gradually, a habit will be formed to do without cleaning.

Clutter causes stress in a person, he needs to be in such an environment long time hard. The mess can even cause some mental disorders.

Psychological reasons

The mess observed in the room indicates serious internal conflicts the occupant of this room. In rare cases, this is one of the symptoms of a mental disorder, such as depression. Psychology of a mess in an apartment:

• Not enough attention. The mess is great way get people around you to clean up. A person lacks attention, and he asks his friends or relatives to help with cleaning. They agree to this, which gives extra time and support to their friend.
• Reluctance to become an adult. Some children were brought up in families where parents loved cleanliness too much. They could always force their heirs to wash dishes, sweep and put things in their places. However, most children do not like this scenario, so the mess for them is salvation. With the help of disorder, they protest, as well as unwillingness to obey their parents. Such a child, after growing up, will at all consider that a person does not need order at all. Also, a mess is a sign of a psychologically immature person. Such people, on a subconscious level, have the hope that someone will clean for them. They simply blame their problems on others, which speaks of irresponsibility.
• Loneliness. When a person makes a mess around him, it means that he feels helpless and abandoned. Therefore, others do not need to ask why a friend has a mess in his apartment, you should just go to his aid. If people scatter things, then they want to declare their existence.

By disorder, a person unconsciously shows others that he is not doing well, as it seems. Relatives and friends need to pay more attention to such people. This may have a positive effect on them.

Serious mental problems

The disorder can appear in people who suffer from psychological disorders. Sometimes these can be serious illnesses. These include:

• Anxious state. In life, events happen that knock a person out of his rut. For example: death of a relative, divorce, litigation, and so on. This leads to anxiety, which forces you to focus on experiences. People stop taking care of themselves and cleaning their homes.
• Depression. In this state, a person loses meaning and interest in everything around him. He develops apathy, the desire to perform simple household tasks. This is reflected in the order in his house. A depressed person loses strength and cannot keep his room clean.
• Schizophrenia. This is a very serious mental disorder. A person suffering from this disease ceases to monitor his appearance, becomes apathetic and does not perform simple household tasks. Serious deviations in the work of the brain are reflected in the disorder in the house.

A mess is not always a reflection of a person's laziness. Sometimes this can indicate serious mental disorders. Such problems require serious treatment with specialists.

What does a mess in the kitchen mean

This place is the most important in the house. After all, in the kitchen a person prepares food, eats food and stores energy. A mess in the kitchen is, first of all, a neglect of hygiene and cleanliness. Such an environment deprives a person of a sense of comfort and protection.

Mess in the toilet

If the restroom is in a dirty state, then this means that a person has problems in relationships, at work. The mess gets in the way personal life. Also, the mess in the toilet suppresses intuition and insight. If a person does not maintain cleanliness, but simply closes the door, then this indicates attempts to hide his life from prying eyes.

Mess in the bathroom

For most people, a new day begins in this room, in which a person brushes his teeth, bathes and performs daily hygiene procedures. The mess in the bathroom says that a person does not pay attention to himself. It also indicates a low self-esteem of the owner. A well-maintained bathroom helps during stressful situations. If order and cleanliness reign in it, people try to take better care of themselves and be more beautiful.

Mess in the bedroom

This place in the apartment is designed for relaxation and solitude. In the bedroom, a person replenishes energy, restarts the body for new achievements and achievements. An untidy room takes all the strength from the people resting in it. On a psychological level, in a messy environment, a person cannot get rid of stress and fully restore his strength.

Mess in the living room and dining room

In these rooms, people gather with their family or friends to socialize and have a good time. In an environment of disorder, it is impossible to fully do this. Psychologists recommend keeping these rooms utterly clean. After all, it is here that all discussions or the exchange of pleasant impressions take place. Friends are extremely unpleasant to be in a mess, because of this they may stop visiting.

Uncleaned corridor

This is one of the most important parts of the apartment. The mess in the corridor prevents a person from moving around all the rooms. Psychologically, the mess reflects that the owner is not confident in his actions, and it is easy for him to encounter difficulties at work or in relationships. Even dim lighting indicates poor interaction with the outside world.

How to clean up the mess in the apartment

Everyone is capable of keeping an apartment clean. To do this, it is enough to form such a habit. After all, it’s not clean where they clean it, but where they don’t litter. Best Rules clutter control:

• Washing dishes after eating. If a lot of appliances are collected in the sink, a person has even less desire to clean them. After all, there are a lot of dishes, the food dries on it, because of this, washing is inconvenient.
• Newspapers and letters should be looked at immediately upon receipt. It happens that a person postpones this activity for another time, which is why mountains of waste paper can accumulate. If you review it and put it in a closet or bedside table, the room will become much cleaner.
• Needed after waking up. With the onset of morning, a person feels still sleepy and puts off this action, often forgetting about it. After labor day it makes no sense to make the bed, because soon go to bed. This is how chaos is created. To keep your bedroom clean, the first step is to make your bed every morning.
• Need to free up space. The apartment is constantly a mess, maybe due to a large number unnecessary things. A person needs to distribute all clothes and objects in their places. Some of them can be thrown away. It can be unnecessary books, spoiled gadgets, clothes, and so on. A person should not regret what he does not need. When a lot of items are collected in some place, they must be immediately put away in their places.
• On the kitchen table must be cleaned immediately after the completion of the cooking process and the lunch meal.

Many people put off small things for later, and because of this, a mess gradually arises. A person must clean up the process: put the phone back, take out the accumulated garbage, put dirty things in washing machine etc. Performing small tasks, people step towards a permanent order and cleanliness in the house.

Light cleaning rules

Putting things in order in the house is perceived as a routine and tedious task. Some people just do not know how to get rid of the mess in the apartment. However, you can make cleaning easy and interesting. For this you need:

• Ask for help from those around you. If a person lives with a family, then he can involve relatives in cleaning. With them, the process of restoring order will be fun. In addition, the cleaning process will be reduced in time by two or three times.
• Good mood. For a better mood, the owners turn on music throughout the house. It uplifts the mood and makes cleaning interesting and fun. Also, a person can listen to an audiobook, combining pleasant listening with useful tidying up.
• Developed plan. For the efficiency of the process, it is advisable to pre-plan its sequence and determine for yourself which rooms and actions you need to start cleaning from.
• Visited places. For example, a cooker or workplace must be cleaned every day. After all, in these places trash and garbage accumulates the most. You do not need to leave these places until otherwise you can spend a lot of time on them.

Each person can put things in order in his apartment. To do this, you need to realize the problem of the mess and understand its causes. Further, the habit of cleaning will form very quickly, and this process will begin to give pleasure to the owner and the people around him.

Chaos reigns at home, there is a constant mess in things and affairs. Interestingly, is this an innate property of character or an acquired defensive reaction? There is a category of people who have everything at home in a terrible mess. This gives them a lot of inconvenience, but all the attempts made to put everything in its place are in vain. Let's try to make out - what are they hiding behind these rubble?

The main reasons for this phenomenon can be:

• proof of its own existence. In this situation, a person in every possible way adds evidence of his own existence ("marks" his territory). One of the reasons for this phenomenon is the need to release feelings of helplessness or loneliness. But there is a possibility that with such a person you can agree to leave a place for someone else next to you.
• Lack of attention. In this case, a person uses the mess he has created to attract additional attention from others. He asks for help in finding "lost" things, while he evokes sympathy and pity of those around him so much that they stop all their business and begin to help him. So people who are not very confident in themselves receive additional support, which they lack in life.
• Lack of desire to grow up. The habit of constant disorder is "born in childhood." Scattered everywhere books, magazines, deposits of things, a pile of unwashed dishes - this is a sign that characterizes the children of too pedantic parents. From them excessive desire order, there is only one salvation - your own disorder. Grown-up sluts refuse to follow the generally accepted concepts of cleanliness and order, considering them to be just unnecessary conventions that vividly remind them of the time when almost the only phrase parents used to communicate with their children was: "Clean the room!". Mess, as a means of avoiding adult responsibility for your life, leaves a ghostly hope that someone will solve your problems for you. For example, clean up the kitchen, on the desktop, pay the bills, allow you to continue to demonstrate your own helplessness.
• Constant anxiety. Sometimes death loved one or even a beloved animal, a divorce or breakup can lead a person to become completely unwilling to clean up the house - this sometimes accompanies depression. The mess at home literally sucks a person, drowns him in anxiety attacks and his own past. There is only one way out - to urgently start freeing up space, throwing out the unnecessary and putting in order the valuable, in order to free up space at home and your own inner space for everything new, more joyful and giving love.

If any of the above is about you and you want to fix it:

• Refuse forever to help others in finding the things you need, by doing this you will deprive yourself of emotional "positive" reinforcement, additional attention from others to your person and, possibly, lose main reason leading to confusion.
• Come up with a "delicious" stimulus, for example - you want to calmly approach the desktop or the kitchen sink (not through the rubble), you want to finally receive guests.
• Trying to remove everything at once will remain attempts, start with something that will not plunge you into a panic. First, take out the trash, wash the dishes, sort out some of the things that you are wearing right now, arrange books and magazines.
• You have already tried all of the above, but there is no more order in the apartment - it means that your internal disorder has very deep roots and you will have to sort out your memories, related fears, emotions. Those. shake up the past. On your own or with the help of a specialist.

If you live next to such a person, then in no case take the position of a parent in relation to your partner, fueling his guilt. Look at the situation with humor, come to an agreement: "I'll cook something delicious, and you clean up the table". In this way, you will soon find mutual understanding and keep peace and love in the family.