The main thing is to keep calm! Ways to calm down and be less nervous. How to learn not to be nervous over trifles and always be calm

19.10.2019

Chronic nervous tension is a companion of our time. We are constantly nervous and worried about something in our lives: about ourselves and our future, about relatives, relatives, children, about work, about money and many others, not always important things. A lot of disturbing thoughts run through your head every day, causing constant stress. Many are in nervous tension, not even realizing the real reason for their anxiety. Therefore, in this article we will talk about how to calm down when you are very nervous, how to find harmony and inner peace.

Anxiety and anxiety are natural, and even useful tool, with which our body informs us about external threats. That is why the fight against stress is often not effective. Unfortunately, there is no one universal technique or “not to be nervous” switch. What works great for keeping calm for some people, for others, is completely ineffective. Therefore, try and choose exactly the method that will help you calm down and not be nervous for you.

Exercise "square breathing"

Helps to cope with anxiety and excitement, it is easy to move from a negative to a neutral, calm state. The square breathing technique can be used if you are very nervous before meetings, important negotiations, public speaking, exams. The exercise is very simple, everyone can do it, and does not require special training, it is performed in 4 steps:

take a breath and at the same time count to yourself: “one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four ...” (as it is more comfortable)
Hold your breath for a count of one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...
Now exhale to the count of one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...
now hold your breath again, counting one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...

Scheme of square breathing: inhale (4 sec) - hold the breath (4 sec) - exhale (4 sec) - hold (4 sec) - repeat from the beginning. Moreover, the duration of inhalation-exhalation can be selected individually, it can be 4 seconds, maybe more - 6-8 seconds, or less, the main thing is that it is comfortable to perform the exercise.

Diaphragmatic breathing

When a person is worried, nervous, his breathing becomes rapid and intermittent (a person breathes from the chest). A little explanation: there are several types of breathing. Most people expand the middle part of the sternum when they breathe. This is chest breathing. If breathing is carried out by the upper part of the sternum - high costal breathing. However, more useful and effective for calming and relaxing is diaphragmatic breathing, that is, breathing with the participation of the diaphragm, breathing with the stomach. In order to calm down and get rid of stress, we take a deep breath, absorbing a large volume of air, and then exhale it slowly. This is called very deep breathing. Such for many will be an effective tool for excitement and nervousness. In order to learn to breathe with the diaphragm, you must adhere to the following recommendations:

Lie on your back and place a book on your stomach. It is necessary to breathe so that the book rises from the breath.
Sit in a comfortable position, straighten your posture and lower right hand on the stomach, and the left - put the chest. Breathe in such a way that only the right hand moves.
It is desirable that the inhalation and exhalation be equal in time. For this, it is most convenient to count the beats of your heart. 4-6 strokes inhale - the same exhale.
To enhance the effect, you can repeat the affirmation to yourself: “With every breath I relax, with every exhalation I smile”

"Byaka-zakalyaka"

The technique is simple, but very effective in the fight not only with excitement, but with other negative emotions and experiences. It can be attributed to art therapy, and the implementation takes from 5 to 15 minutes. Instructions:

take a pen or pencil, a sheet of clean paper, or rather several at once, because with strong emotions one may not be enough.
as a rule, excitement is physically felt in a specific part of the body: in the chest, in the abdomen, in the head, in the form of spasms, clamps, or simply indefinite discomfort, i.e. you need to determine the localization of your destructive emotion;
mentally give yourself the setting that all the excitement through your hands goes to paper, leaves your body, and does not return; there are no strict recommendations here, everything is done in an arbitrary form, as you like it better;
you just start to drive a pencil or pen on paper without controlling your movements. If you do everything right, the hand itself will begin to draw all sorts of lines, “bad-hards”, write out all sorts of pretzels; do until you feel relieved, until you get the feeling that enough is enough (if one sheet is hardened, feel free to take the next one);
then you need to get rid of the painted “masterpiece” in any convenient way: you can tear it into small pieces and flush it down the toilet, you can burn it and scatter the ashes in the wind, crush, trample and send it to the trash can, or come up with your own way - the main thing is to get rid of your “negative creations."
enjoy the relief, it usually comes fairly quickly.

This technique is quite versatile, with its help you can get rid of excitement, irritation, resentment, worries, any stress. For a longer-term effect, you need to repeat more often.

Contact with water

One of the easiest and most affordable ways to calm down, especially if you are very nervous and worried, is any contact with water. Scientists have long noted that the noise and contemplation of running, flowing water, the sound of waves soothes, relieves fatigue, promotes deep relaxation. So, if you need to calm down quickly, you need to:

drink a glass of plain water in small sips - unbelievable, but it helps;
go to the bathroom, turn on the water, hold your hands under running water, for as long as possible;
wash the dishes, the floor, anything else;

When there is a little more time:

take a shower, the most effective contrast;
take a bath with hydromassage, if possible;
go to the pool, to the lake, swim (double effect: the calming effect of water + physical activity);
go out into nature, sit by the stream, by the river, look at the water.
walk in the rain without an umbrella; not suitable for everyone, because there is a danger of catching a cold, but the effect is amazing. Whoever accidentally gets wet in the rain knows that then you come home, and your heart is joyful, it is not clear why, problems fade into the background, just like in childhood, when you got into a puddle up to your ankles, and you are satisfied ...

During physical activity, certain chemicals are released in the body, which explains the usefulness of physical activity for the mental state of a person. These chemicals include endorphins. Their action is similar to that of opiates - they dull pain and induce a state of calm and tranquility. Another substance - dopamine is an antidepressant, also produced by the body during physical activity. The improvement of the psychological state due to physical activity is based on a physiological basis, and this is a scientific fact.

The positive effect persists for several hours after the “physical exercise”, or rather after the “after physical exercise”. Most available species motor activity:

general cleaning of the apartment;
hand washing, washing floors, windows;
dancing;
yoga practice;
walking, running, cycling.

Meditation

Meditation techniques are the most popular and easy to master. They have been studied enough in terms of relaxation and a positive effect on physical and psychological health.

Many people think that meditation takes a long time and don't even try it. effective method. Here are some of the shortest and most effective meditations that will help you quickly calm down and not be nervous.

Exercise: track your own thoughts

Find a quiet place where no one will disturb you, close your eyes. For 5 to 10 minutes, just observe the thoughts that come to your mind. At the same time, the main thing is not to do anything, not to strain (even mentally) - you just need to observe. Allow your thoughts to simply come and go, without any evaluation of what is happening. Most likely, there will be complete confusion and a mess in your head, a heap of sensations, memories, situations, assessments, your own and other people's statements. This is fine.

Already after the first minutes of this exercise, you will notice that thoughts slow down, you become more calm. For a certain moment you abstract from everything, you become just an observer. After a while, you will begin to notice that there are small pauses between thoughts. During these periods of thoughtlessness, you can experience real peace and tranquility.

Calm Reflex Technique

This technique was proposed by psychologist Charles Strebel. The author claims that this technique allows you to relax very quickly, with systematic training in 6 seconds. So, the technique itself:

Focus on what's bothering you.
Smile to yourself. This will help relieve tension from the muscles of the face.
Say to yourself: “My body is relaxed and my mind is actively awake.”
Breathe in easily and calmly.
When exhaling, relax and lower the lower jaw - when correct execution upper and lower teeth should not touch
Imagine how heaviness and warmth spread through your body from the top of your head to your heels.

Method "Instant calm"

Continuous breathing. Despite the appearance of excitement, continue to breathe calmly, evenly and deeply.
Positive facial expression. As soon as you feel that you are starting to get nervous, smile slightly.
Appearance. Imagine that you are being lifted by a string - straighten your chest, stretch your neck, lift your chin.
Send a wave of relaxation to tense parts of the body.
Soberly assess the situation, tell yourself: “Everything that is happening now is real, and I will find the best solution”

Meditative Breathing: Basic Exercise

The technique of pure observation of one's breathing is simple and effective at the same time, does not require special skills, the state of relaxation and calm comes quickly, in a few minutes. Close your eyes, get comfortable, and just watch your breath. You should not strain, try to influence the rhythm or depth of breathing - just watch. Concentrate on how the air enters the lungs through the nostrils - then exits back. Inhale - exhale. This is the simplest technique applicable in almost any situation. After a while, you will be able to notice how your breathing becomes slower and calmer. The more consciously and attentively you observe your breathing, the faster you will feel calm.

In this article, I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to keep calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous at all, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters, this is the feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and just worry about every little thing. It is important to understand that nervousness has, as psychological so physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experience, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a sense of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failing, looking inappropriate in front of people All this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. A necessary defense mechanism or a hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in our thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you out? Do they help you deal with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or talking on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is - of course not, and moreover, it can screw up the whole result.

Therefore, it is essential to be clear that a tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply some kind of mental mechanism fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why remove it? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability is reduced and you find it harder to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires the utmost mental resources
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or a date
Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases(meanwhile, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about the little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life
Are you exposed bad habits: , alcohol, as you need something to relieve tension

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
V Everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You have to set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and it's real!

Don't think that I'm just arguing about something I have no idea myself. All my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24 I experienced great. I couldn't pull myself together stressful situations, worried about any little thing, even almost fainted because of his sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges, “panic attacks”, dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, it’s impossible to say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but anyway, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I'm on the right track and there are dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and only tell about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result personal problems I wouldn’t have started to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous for any reason?

Think about all those events that plunge you into nervousness: your boss calls, you pass an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a fight on public transport or on the road in a lifetime, and is it terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distract from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into real trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This mindset helps a lot. stop worrying about everything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our ingenuity, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for your dream job, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not to worry arises. This is too much of a responsibility to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be focused and focused and will do my best for this!

Now we bring thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The most ingenuous will help to relax breathing exercises.

The simplest breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
hold your breath 2 counts/beats
exhale for 4 counts/beats
hold breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Only you need to breathe with the diaphragm, that is, the stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into calmness.

During the exercise, we keep our attention only on the breath! There must be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice, breathing practice helps not only to relax you here and now, but also in general. puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing at the end of this article. In the video, I talk about how to deal with panic with the help of breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are ready. But the time has come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4

Show calm: even if neither the emotional mood nor the breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your current state. The expression of outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were previously in bad mood. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the more relaxed you want to seem, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Are your eyes not running? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them go astray and take you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Pull in your hands ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Do you tie the big toe and little toe of your left foot into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in a chair, we do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

Take your time: haste, fuss always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, do not rush even if you are late for a meeting. Since any haste very quickly knocks down composure and a calm attitude. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, better save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, riding in transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you are in a hurry, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's actually all. All these principles complement each other and can be summed up in the call " look after yourself". The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with an answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. No need to try to impress everyone accessible ways, you will produce it anyway if you do everything right and don't worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgot and move on.

Lesson 5. Calming down after a meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. All the same principles work here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, but if I spoke like this and not like that, oh, how stupid I looked there, oh, I'm a fool, but if ...! Just get rid of all thoughts from your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You should not create reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

When I studied at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. Often went to retakes. As a result, during the session, I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic amount of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that’s how much everything had piled up, how hard it was, eh ... Although it was my own fault if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and that I would be taken into the army if I I won’t hand over something, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I'm talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have in mind ready plan, but several are better! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of rest. And the next thing I will talk about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop worrying about trifles. These methods are focused on the long term, they will make you less stressed in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. It is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I won't dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of measures that support recovery (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy mind in a healthy body: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.

It happens that we are looking for complex recipes to improve the quality of life. We think: “I’ll go to yoga, so I’ll immediately become calmer.” And of course, we do not go to yoga. And we have a sincere excuse - why do we feel so bad. There is no good yoga in the area! Sadly...

Nevertheless, there are primitive emergency self-help remedies that have been used for centuries for stress, irritation, frustration, in a situation where someone or something is eating away at your brain.

They were used for recommendations by general practitioners (and not only) old school. Of those who took the patient by the hand, and that already felt better from this. Self-help tips were taught by physiotherapists, masseurs and sports instructors. Advice now costs more and is more difficult to formulate. Self-help is suppressed, this is not a market approach.

And we will return to the good old days, when self-help was welcomed.

Method 1 Take a break

This way to relieve emotional stress is suitable in cases where you are trapped, cornered and cannot escape anywhere. For example, sit at a planning meeting and listen to your boss, boiling internally. You can’t escape, but ... At the same time, distraction by contemplation of something extraneous, neutral and passion for this extraneous - The best way do not wind yourself up over trifles.

For example: "What, however, Masha's manicure ... I wonder how she did it?"

It only works if you yourself understand the benefits of such a strategy - do not look at the nasty things, do not listen to the nasty things. If you like to boil and get into disputes, this is your right.

Method 2 Get out of the annoying situation (it is also an emotional zone)

Did something make you sad at someone else's birthday party? On a picnic? You can't stand some group, public, page in social network? Do you dream of removing an unpleasant person from your friends list?

So, quickly left the group forever. They banned a provocateur-debater, a troll, a boor, a fool. Deleted your profile, if that.

They quickly called a taxi (don’t sting, don’t sting), smacked the hostess and rush home - away from the party, away from the barbecue, away from the annoying, emotional zone.

Method 3 Drink some water

Now this is the crown recipe of all brilliant general practitioners who do not sell dietary supplements from pharmaceutical corporations.

A glass of water, drunk slowly, stops all seizures known to science. The first thing that is offered to a person who has been twisted by something terrible is a glass of water. Drinking water starts the mechanism of self-rehabilitation of the body. Most often, people become ill for two reasons:

hysteria (sympatho-adrenal crisis in a different way),
dehydration not noticed in time.

Since we don’t listen to our body and don’t teach life safety, we drink tea, coffee and soda all day long - we all have dehydration, and you have it too. Go drink a glass of water right now and then read on.

Method 4 Get Involved in an Exciting, Interesting Thing

This method is suitable in a situation where you cannot “let go”. You need to break the jam on chewing “And they, And I, And yes, all of them” with something flying, even stupid and tasteless. Reading detective. computer game. Hunting and gathering. Surveillance and tracking. An attempt to reveal someone's secret. Even peeping and eavesdropping, damn it.

You must be involved in intrigue, in a detective story, in the rapid development of events, in a hunt, in a game, in courage, in flight.

Your ears should rise and your tail should twitch.

You yourself know what can captivate and amuse you. Everyone has their own, individual. Just don't play this game. Do no harm to anyone.

Method 5 Physical Discharge

Everyone is familiar with this method by hearsay, but, as usual, no one cares. And I remind you once again that the rapid physical discharge, which includes:

walking,
swim,
general cleaning of the apartment (you can - someone else's),
sex,
trash destruction,
work in the garden
dance,
floor washing and hand washing

relaxes knotted muscles and relieves stress, frustration fantastically effectively. General hand washing even helps to cope with grief - again, the advice of the old doctor, which I share with you.

Method 6 Make contact with water

Washing dishes is a free hypno-psycho-therapy session. The noise of clean running running water relieves our fatigue and takes away with it all the "dirt", not only household.

In addition to washing dishes, there is a well-known classic: take a bath, take a shower, go to the bathhouse, go early in the morning or in the evening - swim in the sea, in the river, in the lake, in the spring. Refresh, in short.

Method 7 Positive reframing of a stressful event

So much has been written about positive reframing (including by me) that I don’t want to repeat myself. I'll just give an example:

“It’s good that it happened that I won’t go anywhere this summer! Finally I'm like courses in English, fitness and self-development courses! When else would I allow myself such a "useless" luxury? Yes, and in the summer there is a dead season everywhere and there are only discounts around. So I'll save even more!"

Method 8 Could be worse, others even harder

You are not satisfied with the outcome of the event? Imagine what could have been a worse outcome. Imagine how bad some people around you are. If you master this art and stop turning your nose up at this strategy, then you will not need any psychotherapy at all.

Method 9 Laughter kills everything terrible and terribly important

Ridiculing, lowering, vulgarizing something inflated and important is an old recipe for human culture, dating back to the Neolithic. Thanks to grandfather Bakhtin for his term "carnival-laughter culture". Read, ask.

Or watch one episode about the adventures of SpongeBob SquarePants. When he was terrified of speaking at a school seminar, a smart squirrel gave him super glasses. Wearing these glasses, SpongeBob saw all the students and the teacher... in their shorts. That was funny! True, from laughter, he did not read out his report. And what were the teacher's panties .. Mmm ...

Method 10 Count to 10

Just read to ten. Slowly. Controlling your inhalations and exhalations. To myself, not out loud. This is the recommendation of doctors and sports coaches.

Method 11 Cry

Crying relieves stress. With the tear fluid, the body leaves those toxic substances that are formed under the influence of stress hormones. You can’t cry about your own - come up with a pitiful topic and specifically cry over it.

Method 12 Verbalization of everything that is on the soul

Pronunciation or verbalization - wrapping a vague "something" in clear words. However, great thing. And even better - write it all down on paper, write a long letter.

Just don't send it anywhere!

Here are 12 tips for dealing with stress and the diseases that stress causes.

These 12 are those who help us and do not require money for it. And the rest is expensive and from charlatans.

Hello, friends.

Today I want to help all those who are often nervous, worried and suffer greatly from this. In this article, I will explain in detail how to stop being nervous and become calm.

Why will they help? Yes, because I myself used to be often nervous and worried over trifles, which caused big problems in life. And I devoted a lot of time to the question of why we are nervous and how to get rid of it.

Having understood the reason and got to the bottom of the essence, I got rid of not only nervousness, but also all others.

Nervousness prevents us from living

I know that your anxiety brings you many problems. Everyone knows the situation when an important meeting, interview or exam awaits us and we need to have a clear head so as not to fail anything.

But no one knows where we are attacked by jitters, we are shaking, sweating, starting to fuss, or vice versa, we fall into a stupor and do not understand anything. There she is the main problem nervousness: instead of productive thinking, which is necessary at a crucial moment, on the contrary, we start doing stupid things, talking nonsense, but we simply don’t know what we are doing.

Let's list the main disadvantages of a nervous state, and what it can lead to:

when we are nervous, we stop responding correctly to the situation;
we cannot concentrate;
we think badly with our heads;
nervousness takes away vitality;
as a result, we quickly get tired and accumulate chronic tension.

And there are many more negative consequences of such a state.

Sooner or later, all this will lead to physical and mental illness.

After all, it is known that most diseases are from the nerves, from the incorrect functioning of our psyche.

When we are nervous, the pressure rises, the heartbeat quickens, the hormonal background changes. This is how the body reacts to a stressful situation. For a short time, this is justified, it is so laid down by nature. But if we get nervous often and for a long time, a malfunction occurs in the body, and the imbalance inside us does not go away, it becomes chronic.

Often nervous people are given such a mysterious diagnosis as VVD (I was also given).

In general, there is no such disease abroad.

And it makes no sense to treat it without eliminating the main cause of the IRR - nervous strain, due to frequent experiences.

So get rid of increased nervousness, if you do not want to get sick, but want to be healthy and respond adequately in any situation.

We can't be nervous

Our path to eliminating nervousness begins with psychological attitudes which you must instill in yourself.

They will help you realize the true state of affairs and reduce inadequate reactions to what is happening.

The first setting will be like this. Alone and in complete silence, close your eyes and say to yourself the following phrases:

"I will never be nervous again, because it bothers me and brings problems. I remain calm always, in any situation."

Thus, you leave in the subconscious mind the installation to fight your nervousness.

Further, you must understand that such a reaction of your psyche is not a natural, but a painful condition that can and should be eradicated. Of course, when a danger arises or when you are in an unusual environment, the body reacts with an increase in heart rate, the release of adrenaline and other stressful reactions. So laid down by nature, so that we can either quickly run away or start attacking. But this reaction should be short-term and not cause so much pain, trouble to us and our body. And the stress reaction is delayed for a long time due to the malfunction of our psyche, which leads to illness and other problems.

So the second setting will be like this. Say the following to yourself:

"My nervousness is not a natural reaction of my psyche to what is happening. But a normal reaction is when I calmly relate to any troubles in life."

Many people think that constant anxiety and a nervous state is their character trait that cannot be changed, which means that nothing needs to be done. But they are very much mistaken and make a big mistake. If nervousness is not a natural state, then you can ensure that your psyche works more correctly, and you would stop being nervous. Any character, any program in your brain can be changed, you just need to take on yourself, well, and know how to do it. So the final setting will be like this.

"I will change. I will defeat nervousness, it will leave me. I will have a different character, more calm."

Try to find time every day for the first time and say these phrases to yourself. Over time, they will take root in your brain, and will do their job. But this is only the first step (but a very important one) in your fight against nervousness, so suggestion alone will not fix the matter.

The main thing you must understand and understand for yourself, fix in your head that we can not be nervous, that we can and should get rid of nervousness.

Reasons for concern

It is useless to get rid of nervousness without eradicating the causes of this condition.

And the root of anxiety is a wrong attitude towards life and an inflated ego. What does it mean?

We incorrectly interact with the world, we look at everything around with distortion. To put it simply: with your own cockroaches in your head, each with his own look. The main distortion, because of which we are often nervous and worried, is a very serious attitude to the situation.

Going to a responsible meeting or exam, we put our career, future financial situation or something else important to us at stake. A failed scenario with a terrible outcome is laid in the subconscious, all this creates tension and, as a result, a nervous experience. To alleviate tension, and therefore stop being nervous, you need to reduce, or better yet, remove the importance of the upcoming event. After all, in fact, this importance is basically twisted, artificially created because of the wrong attitude to life.

It is necessary to treat everything more calmly, to look at life philosophically. People have long come up with attitudes and well-known phrases that will help in this. For example, "come what may", "well, to hell with it" and others. In fact, you need to easily accept your fate, any situation in your life.

Here comes another reason for nervous experiences. We are afraid of a negative outcome of the event, which means we are afraid of difficulties, we are afraid of losing. After all, not everyone can calmly endure failure, get up and move on. Usually people give up after defeat and give up their goals.

Becoming brave, accepting any outcome of the event, we remove the importance and stop being nervous about defeat. We know that even if we lose, we will learn from this and be better prepared in the next battle.

In other words, we are afraid of the difficulties of life and constantly hide from them.

So important advice: going to a responsible event, one should not be afraid of a negative outcome and accept any event that happens. Release everything in yourself, relax and say to yourself:

"I accept everything that happens to me, what will be, will be. If you're lucky, well, if not, well, then such is fate."

Let go of the importance. Religious people are fine with this. They blame everything on God, trust him. And you trust this world, let it make any event.

Of course, all this is not very easy to implement. Here you need to work on yourself, but realizing the wrong response to the environment, you can move yourself and live more calmly and happily.

And an inflated ego is when they don’t sit in us correct settings, negative traits character. Excessive pride, an increased sense of self-importance, or vice versa, self-doubt, give rise to the need for mandatory approval, praise and cause the fear of being ridiculed, to be out of luck in case of failure.

For example, when a guy goes on a date for the first time, he has both a strong fear of being rejected by a girl, ridiculed by friends, and other complexes. All this generates a strong excitement that the partner feels. Girls do not like insecure guys, as a result, the date either fails or goes wrong.

So take it easy, relax and everything will be fine.

Before the upcoming important event for you, you must inspire yourself with those attitudes that I mentioned above.

Bring to your mind the fact that if you worry and get nervous, you will simply fail the whole thing. Remove the importance from the event, do not be afraid to lose, push your pride away, be self-confident. Of course, all this is not easy to implement. But the foundation will be laid, in a stressful situation the subconscious mind will remember this, and you will worry less. If this does not help, do not despair and think again about everything that I have told you, inspiring yourself with the right attitudes.

Be mindful

Usually a person understands that one should not be nervous, inspires himself that he will not worry, tries to remove the importance from the event, but as soon as he gets into a stressful situation, nervousness again piles on him.

The psyche and the body react out of habit, and it takes time for them to rebuild. It is important at such moments to catch ourselves on the fact that we are nervous and remember about the right settings. So be aware. Once the nervousness has consumed you, try to move away from it. Look from the outside at those feelings and emotions that have taken possession of you. The main thing is that you do not merge with experiences, as is usually the case, but remember that you are getting rid of them. It helps a lot.

Let me give you an example of how to react in stressful situations. Let's say you made a mistake at work and your boss called you in for a showdown.

First, prepare for the meeting. Close your eyes and tell yourself the following:

“I’m not afraid that my boss will scold me, because I don’t care what he thinks of me. After all, no matter what I do, he can always find a reason to punish me. Should I then kowtow and worry in front of him , thinking whether he will scold me or not, because the main thing is that my work colleagues know that I good worker but most importantly, I know my own worth. After all, I'm not a slave, but a free man. Therefore, I am not afraid of him and will behave with dignity and calmness. I remove the importance from this meeting and accept any outcome of the event. Even if he fires me, well, that means my fate. So the world needs it. There is always a way and I will definitely find Good work. If I behave calmly, the boss will appreciate it and see me as a worthy person. If I get nervous, then on the contrary, the boss will stop respecting me and will definitely scold or fire me.

This is an approximate wording, which in each case will be different. Get creative. The main thing is that you must remove the importance from the event, not be afraid of defeat and come to terms with any outcome. If you are calm, your head will be clear and everything will go well. And then usually the employee is so worried about meeting with the boss that he loses control over himself and makes mistakes, says not what he originally wanted.

But that's only half the battle. You will still be nervous during the meeting itself, albeit less so. Nothing wrong. Just trust in this moment that you can be at peace. But most importantly, don't let your worries consume you. Try to look at emotions as if from the outside. Don't fight the excitement, just let it go and watch it, even as it grows. The main thing is to observe from a distance and observe again. Believe me, you will feel better and nervousness will recede. The main thing is to train in the skill of observing from the outside, because. it doesn't happen right away.

The importance of the meeting will also decrease if you take it in a joking way. For example, imagine that instead of the boss, some funny comic book goblin is sitting in the chair, and you just grin at him. Come up with something of your own.

How to calm down with breathing

How to quickly calm down and be nervous? A very good technique that stops nervousness will also help you with this. This is the transfer of our attention to breathing and slowing down the respiratory rhythm. After all, when we are nervous, the rhythm of breathing increases, becomes intermittent, and basically we begin to breathe through the chest. If you deliberately begin to breathe with the diaphragm, i.e. stomach and slow down breathing, you stop the physiology of the nervous state and gradually calm down. But most importantly, you need to attach attention to the respiratory rhythm. So you are distracted from negative emotions, deprive them of energy, and they decrease.

Do this exercise in any stressful environment, unnoticed by others, and you will feel how you become calmer.

By applying my recommendations, your nervousness will decrease and not cause you anxiety, and you will become calmer and calmer. The main thing is to work on yourself, respond to life correctly, are not afraid of difficulties, and develop awareness.

How to find peace everywhere and always

Following my recommendations, not everyone will be able to stop being nervous. The thing is that for many, the nervous system is so weakened by everyday stress that this will not help them. It will help, but only a little. But what to do? How to calm down and stop thinking about the bad?

It is necessary to strengthen the nervous system, bring the mind and psyche into a state of rest.

Our restless mind gives rise to many negative thoughts and emotions, all of which are out of our control. From here and experiences and nervousness.

Lead a healthy lifestyle. The state of the nervous system directly depends on the general state of the whole organism. A healthy person is cheerful in spirit, often experiences positive emotions less afraid and worried. There are many methods for gaining health, which you will also learn about from this blog.
Stop using and. Many believe that alcohol and nicotine calm and relieve nervousness. In fact, they only cloud the brain, blocking the perception of the source of nervousness, and also destroy nerve cells. You, like an ostrich, buried your head in the ground, got scared, ran away from the problem. The problem has not gone away, and alcohol and nicotine have only weakened the nervous system. You have become weaker and the next stress you will endure much worse.
Learn relaxation techniques. This and . The relaxation acquired in them will gradually pass into everyday life, and you will be calmer about any troubles.
Get busy. It is thanks to her that you will forever forget about anxiety and nervousness. It will cleanse your psyche of any distortions, you will find peace, mind and body. She will teach you how not to be nervous and to control yourself.

I have already written a lot about meditation, so I will not repeat myself. Follow the link and read.

By practicing meditation, you will gain an incredible thing called the greatest power of peace. You will never fuss, but you will succeed. You will stop making mistakes, because you will have a clear mind, not clouded by a fussy mind. If you want it, then meditate.

Be sure to read about the power of the spirit.

By following these four points, you will stop being nervous forever and be calm in any situation. But this, I repeat, is long term. The result will not come immediately. But I assure you, it's worth it.

That's all for today.

See you soon friends.

Be calm and everything will be fine.

And in conclusion, calm music to relieve stress:

Once I was very worried because before every serious event, performance, I was so nervous that I either flunked everything, or I forgot something, I would not say it in such a tone, I would not present it so brightly. People worry before a meeting, when applying for a job, when they don’t answer close person etc. You can't enumerate all the situations. However, there are universal methods for restoring balance.

When a person is nervous, misses important events worrying about the little things. At this time he has:

reduced mental activity, ability to focus;
cognitive deterioration (which makes you even more nervous - a vicious circle);
loss of control over the situation;
performance decreases, fatigue increases, fatigue sets in.

Work on a life plan. This allows you to pay attention to important events, and not worry about every trifle. Constantly remind yourself of the main goals and plans. Carry the list with you.

Reasons for concern

First of all, you need to explain the causes of anxiety, sort them out point by point. Determine not only the situation and your own, but also internal factors. So, for example, the excitement before public speaking is the result of poor preparation or fear of being ridiculed, shyness, ignorance of the topic.

The nervous state, as a rule, is accompanied by anxiety and. This is the body's natural response to a threat. It remains to be seen whether the threat is real. In the case of the previous example, think about what happens if you make a mistake or someone doesn't accept your presentation. Is it so dangerous and important for life?

But the anxiety before flying on an airplane is fully justified. The potential threat always exists. But in this case, nothing depends on you, so you just need to accept all possible options.

So, identify specific emotions and feelings, the cause of anxiety, its object. Determine the influence of external and internal factors, your participation in the situation.

What to do

No need to deny and repeat "I am calm." Accept, acknowledge the fact of nervous tension. After acceptance and analysis, proceed to active actions:

Inhale and exhale. Popular, simple and really effective advice. relieve stress, restore blood flow and hormonal levels. Inhale deeply, hold your breath and exhale slowly. Concentrate on your breath. Body and mind are one. When you feel control over your breath, it will be easier to gain control over your thoughts. Try the five-three technique. Inhale for five counts, hold for three counts, exhale for five counts, and hold for three counts. So ten times. Breathe with your belly: inhale as you inflate, as you exhale, retract. Concentrate on the count and the movements of the abdomen, so you will be distracted from disturbing thoughts. Monitor your well-being. Respiratory techniques are prohibited for colds, respiratory diseases.
Think pleasant. Remember the most delicious food you have ever eaten, the most melodic music, the most beautiful picture, the most tender hugs. Think back to a situation of success. They happen to anyone, it's just that people sometimes forget about it. Bring back your positive attitude and self-confidence.
Nervous tension is. Calms the rise in blood glucose. To do this, eat something sweet or drink coffee. A quick surge of glucose will restore the energy and physical strength of the body, fill it with hormones of joy. You can’t systematically seize stress, but in some situations a chocolate bar is a medicine.
Tapping your fingers on the table, walking from corner to corner, swaying on your toes are the body's subconscious attempts to calm down. But what if you come up with the same thing, but more conscious and useful? Find an interesting but monotonous activity: someone embroiders, someone solves crossword puzzles or washes dishes. Come up with your own ways different cases: at home, at work, on the street.
The previous method is not suitable for everyone. If he didn’t help you, then try, on the contrary, to be active: push up, run, jump, wave your arms, stomp your feet, swear. At the moment of stress, internal resources are mobilized. There is an energy that needs to be released. Those languor that we experience - and there is unspent power. Release her. Under stress, physical forces are mobilized, thought processes fade into the background. Calm the body to bring back the mind.
Control the mind through the body. Forbid yourself to fiddle with clothes, slouch, look under your feet. Straighten your back, speak loudly and confidently, look straight ahead, demonstrate confidence and calmness.
Devalue the situation. Will it matter in a month, a year? Does it affect your health, success, well-being? But stress and anxiety have a huge impact on health. Recall something disturbing from the past right now. Does it matter now? If there had been a different outcome then, would that have significantly changed the current state of affairs? Were you able to clearly remember what you were worried about?
Keep an anxiety diary. Describe your experiences and observe which of them came true. You will be surprised how much time and effort you spend on inventing. Better get busy, fantasy is useful there.
Strengthen the nervous system. What you need for this: healthy sleep, good nutrition, regular physical exercise, taking vitamins, hobbies, favorite work, meditation or yoga.
Read D. Carnegie's book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

Make it a rule to draw your fears and worries. It is not necessary to have the relevant skills. Depict your fear (as it turns out), look at it, get to know each other, accept it. Now draw a funny hat or yourself next to it in the form of a knight. Perhaps your fear will take the form of a specific person. Or yourself. Why not?

Sometimes the causes of anxiety lie very deep, in childhood. Once rejected, a person is afraid of this all his life, and therefore often worries and worries. To eliminate, visit a psychotherapist, as in this case, advice on will not help.

Nervousness as a personality trait

Psychology knows many type qualifications. According to one of them (author Heymans - Le Senn), there is nervous type. It is characterized by emotionality, low activity and primacy. Such a person:

reacts violently to any little things, takes everything to heart;
thinks long before acting;
easily gives in to emotions, but just as quickly forgets about them (mood instability).

The nervous type lives on desires and impressions. He does not like boredom and monotony. If this is your case, then advice with monotonous actions will not work. On the contrary, it is necessary to find numerous sources of different emotions. The main trait that needs to be fought is suspiciousness.

The author of another classification, Karl Leonhard, singled out. He is characterized by uncertainty in his own actions, distrust of himself, suspiciousness, timidity, indecision, fear of mistakes, an overly expressed sense of responsibility, self-criticism.