Emotional burnout, what is it and how to deal with it? How do you know when it's time to quit? Emotional burnout at work.

Ecopsy Consulting partner Grigory Finkelstein believes that stress at work is the norm for most Russian companies. According to him, it happened historically. Employers want heroism and labor exploits from employees, and not a harmonious combination of personal and professional life.

hardworking, burnt out

The term "burnout syndrome" was coined by the American psychiatrist Herbert Freudenberger in 1974 to characterize the psychological state of people who are healthy but emotionally overwhelmed during work, for example, they communicate closely and a lot with clients. Initially, employees with burnout were those who felt exhausted and useless. Later, poor health and symptoms of certain diseases began to be attributed to the burnout syndrome.

Researchers from the Yale University Center for Emotional Intelligence and the Faas Foundation found that employees who do not get job satisfaction are prime candidates for exit. They studied the level of professional engagement of American workers and compared it with their level of burnout. One in five employees reported both high engagement and high burnout. Such respondents felt tension and despair, although they were eager to learn new skills. It was among these people that the percentage of those who intended to change jobs was high - they turned out to be even more than in the group of those who were not involved. Thus, due to burnout, companies risk losing their hardest working employees.

Who if not me?

According to Hays, one of the main prerequisites for burnout is overwork. 87% of employees admit that they occasionally work overtime. 20% of them work one or two hours a week, 29% devote 3-5 hours more to work than required by labor law, 21% are delayed due to business longer - 6-8 hours a week.

Why are people willing to work longer hours? The majority (52%) agree themselves, because they see no other way out: they are sure that the company does not have the resources to delegate their work to someone else. 29% said that they have to solve too many tasks and they do not have time to rationally allocate time, and 24% themselves do not want to delegate, because they are sure that only they can cope with the work, another 21% perform the functions of colleagues, since they do not cope.

Employers themselves are well aware that their staff have to work overtime. 74% of company representatives admitted that their employees occasionally work overtime, 19% said they do it often, and only 7% said they do not allow overtime.

What can an employer offer an employee working for wear and tear? 45% of the interviewed company representatives say that they pay overtime in accordance with the Labor Code of the Russian Federation (among the employees themselves, only 12% said that they are paid overtime), 35% give an additional day off, 34% are allowed to come later. It turns out that employees often work for wear and tear in the hope of getting a new, better interesting work and employers tend to just pay them a little more.

The most responsible employees who are deeply immersed in the work process get tired the fastest, Grigory Finkelstein explains. As a rule, they take what they do seriously, but burn out if they do not receive positive feedback about their work. “Burnout comes from those whose ambitions are not realized for a long time. They do not see prospects in the workplace and do not receive feedback from management on the work done. You need to understand that it is very difficult to return the fuse and motivation to an employee when he has lost interest in work, ”Yota HR Director Veronika Elikova agrees.

Employers do not like burnt workers. “We often see that candidates come to the interview who only pretend that they are interested in the position, but this is actually not the case. Therefore, we do not arrange a meeting with the employer. It’s hard to find a job for the burnt out,” says Olga Sabinina, partner at Contact (InterSearch Russia).

Business against burnout

RBC asked representatives of several Russian companies how they deal with employee burnout. It turned out that many are introducing a variety of staff support programs, but few are trying to study this phenomenon and find a systematic solution.

Elikova said that Yota gives employees the opportunity to communicate directly with a manager of any level and quickly receive feedback on their work. The company has a test to identify the level of motivation, but it is used only for top managers. There are no other studies that reveal the degree of burnout in Yota.

Mail.Ru Group launched a rotational and educational programs. The company believes that a good way to combat burnout is the employee's participation in training others. “A person is distracted from his main duties, switches, tries himself as a mentor,” says Liya Koroleva, head of internal communications at Mail.Ru Group. Specialists may also switch from their main activity to another, for example, to participate in charitable projects. Employees are regularly sent to trainings on time management, project management and personal effectiveness.

L’Oreal Russia measures employee satisfaction and engagement, said Svetlana Anikina, Head of Compensation and Benefits at L’Oreal Russia. For example, a recent survey revealed that the majority of employees suffer from stress, although they consider its level to be acceptable. People expressed a desire to work flexible hours or from home. The company went to meet them and offered to start working in convenient time in the interval from 8 to 10 in the morning instead of 9, as it was before, and also sometimes work from home. As a result, 37% of employees decided to occasionally work outside the office in the first six months.

In April 2018, the Sibur petrochemical holding launched a program aimed at combating burnout. It is based on the methodology of psychology professor Stuart Heller, and the main goal is “to teach everyone, through physical exercises, to influence the internal state.” According to the representative of the holding, employees learn to manage habits and work with the body in order to cope with stress, influence emotions and the process of achieving goals. A special test that reveals the degree of burnout is not carried out at Sibur, however, like L’Oreal Russia, once a year a study is conducted on the overall satisfaction of employees.

Yandex also does not use special tests that detect burnout, said Elena Bogdanovich, head of the Yandex HR partner service. As in other companies, an engagement survey is conducted, which reveals professional fatigue. To help a burned-out employee, the company offers him to change the project, team, or even move to another department and try himself in a new profession. For example, a developer can become a designer or a manager and vice versa. “A change of scenery becomes a breath of fresh air for employees, so we can offer relocation and work in another city where the company's office is located,” comments Bogdanovich.

In MegaFon, employees of departments interacting with clients most often suffer from professional burnout - call center, sales. Therefore, a special program “No Stress” works for them, in which psychologists help to cope with difficulties. For managers, there are other programs - "Team in good shape" and "Emotional intelligence". According to the head of the press service of MegaFon Yulia Dorokhina, managers are taught the skills to work with emotions and create a comfortable atmosphere in the team. If the manager notices that an employee is experiencing burnout, he must determine the cause and offer him to go on vacation, said a representative of MegaFon.

Toxic Bosses

Burnout of ordinary employees is not so bad. The real problems begin when the leaders give up. “Recently, owners and managers of large and medium-sized IT companies spoke at an event in Sochi. Everything is as it should be: smart, deep and bright people. But for some of them, the eyes began to burn only when they talked about hobbies, hobbies and family, but not about business problems. Such people can be seen with the naked eye, including at the interview, these people are the first candidates for the role of burned-out bosses, ”says Olga Sabinina, partner at Contact (InterSearch Russia).

Burnt-out managers have a direct impact on the mood of their own employees. It is rare when they manage to build the right working environment in a team. Instead of supporting the strengths of subordinates, competently delegate, increasing the load gradually, they break down on subordinates. Such bosses are usually called toxic, explains psychologist and business coach Yulia Burlakova. They do not improve processes, but destroy them.

Recently, a charismatic leader from St. Petersburg complained to Burlakova that people were constantly leaving him. As it turned out, he used authoritarian management methods: he was used to putting pressure on people, he could shout. As a result, emotionally oppressed employees spent a lot of energy on participating in intrigues and conflicts, partly provoked by the leader, business processes were upset, and people burned out, says Burlakova. When assessing the level of stress in the team, the psychologist advises leaders to start with themselves.

Hays analysts came to a similar conclusion: pressure from management is one of the top three causes of employee stress. Employees experience stress due to blurred responsibilities (42%), pressure from management (29%) and the lack of someone who can delegate tasks (28%). Only representatives of the younger generation are not so much subject to pressure, Burlakova points out: “The whip method does not work with them. Most of the time they just quit."

What to do?

To deal with a problem, you need to identify it. Burnout syndrome is often determined using a special test created by UC Berkeley psychology professor Christina Maslach. This is a questionnaire where the employee agrees or disagrees with the basic statements: I feel exhausted from work; now the work interests me less than when I started to do it; the significance of the work makes me doubt, etc. Maslach shares the physical and psychological signs of burnout. The former include fatigue, headaches, insomnia, and a feeling of exhaustion. To the second - a feeling of frustration, hopelessness, boredom and disappointment, self-doubt, guilt and irritation, etc.

According to Maslach, there are four degrees of professional burnout. In the first degree, the employee experiences mild irritation from work. In the second, a state of chronic fatigue is added to the irritation. The third degree is more severe, the employee also has a dislike for the profession, for example, a taxi driver is disgusted with driving a car, and a doctor is disgusted with communicating with patients. At the fourth degree of burnout, signs of health problems appear, depression may begin. According to Burlakova, the sooner a person discovers signs of burnout, the sooner he should begin to regain strength and change his lifestyle.

Vacation is not a panacea. Yulia Burlakova says that the main rule for those who do not want to burn out at work is to keep the balance of work and personal time. After work, do not use gadgets, communicate with family, play sports and be in nature. You need to gradually recover after each working day, without waiting for holidays, vacations or weekends. “The employee himself is responsible for the quality of his life - this is a rule that must be observed in order not to become not only a victim of an inadequate boss, but also burnout,” says Burlakova.

Burnout is a state of exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. Like impostor syndrome or missed profit syndrome, this is not a disease, but rather a complex of psychological and physical problems. Despite the fact that there is no burnout in the ICD-10, psychologists have been using this term for a long time, and the problem itself has been well studied.

The term "professional burnout" was introduced by the American psychologist Herbert Freudenberger in the mid-70s. In those years, he had a private practice in the Upper East Side - one of the most prestigious areas of New York. Many of his clients were successful people, but at the same time they suffered from indifference and even hatred towards their work. Their stories were included in Freudenberger's book Burnout: The High Cost of High Achievement, a bestseller published in 1980.

The main signs of professional burnout are considered to be a feeling of exhaustion, a decrease in productivity, and, finally, professional cynicism - a cold, detached attitude towards one's activities, clients and colleagues. However, some psychiatrists add to this exactly the opposite reaction - a manic obsession with work with the same lack of strength.

Is this a problem for everyone who works a lot?

Not really. Professional burnout is associated not only with overwork, but also with a high emotional load, which not everyone is able to withstand. Therefore, the hardest thing is for those whose job is to help people. These are doctors, psychologists, teachers, social workers, employees of charitable foundations and police officers. When burned out, they often experience depersonalization - a kind of defensive reaction and professional deformation: an insensitive attitude towards clients, an inability to perceive them as human beings.

However, in recent years, burnout has been considered in a broader sense - as a problem that can affect any person whose occupation requires a lot of return. And it's not just about work. There is also parental burnout, which is especially painful for mothers and fathers of children with special needs: they may feel that they are trapped and their whole life comes down to the need to “serve” the child.

But all my friends somehow cope, but I don’t. Why is that?

Actually, not everyone does. According to research, at least in the US and Europe, where the issue has been studied since the 70s, every third person faces professional burnout. It all depends on the situation - maybe your work requires too much emotional involvement and contact with people for you. The degree of burnout can be affected both by the monotony of work and the lack of its visible results, so that another of the consequences is often disappointment and depreciation of one's successes.

Is there a list of burnout symptoms?

There is no clear list - everyone is individual. First of all, it is customary to single out chronic fatigue and depression. In addition to these, burnout sufferers may develop insomnia, anxiety, decreased alertness and ability to concentrate on tasks, headaches, loss of appetite, and irritability. Clinically, burnout and depression are indeed very similar, which is why they are often seen as related problems. However, there are studies confirming the difference between depression and burnout. For example, Canadian scientists claim to have found a "biomarker" for burnout - the level of cortisol in the blood.

Cortisol is also called the stress hormone: the more stress, the higher its level. Scientists note that depression is accompanied by an excess of it, but for those who suffer from burnout, on the contrary, it is not enough - the body seems to “give up”. But when making a diagnosis, specialists still focus on the overall picture and symptoms.

How can I check how burned out I am?

There are separate tests for this, they can be taken online. For example, the "Maslach questionnaire" - American psychologists developed it twenty years ago. The test even has separate options for salespeople, health professionals, and employees. law enforcement. All statements (for example, “by the end of the working day I feel like a squeezed lemon”) should be rated on a scale from “never” to “every day”.

So it looks like I'm burnt out. What should I do?

In such a situation, many people think about whether it is time to change jobs, or even professions. But, firstly, this is not a solution for everyone, and secondly, the problem is probably not only in work, but also in how you feel about it. Of course, if you are in the most vulnerable group - doctors, teachers, hotline employees, and so on, then this specificity cannot be avoided.

Support groups, trainings, and psychotherapy will come in handy here. Even psychologists and psychotherapists themselves go to the supervisor and discuss the problem of burnout in the professional community. So it's not unusual for you to need support.

Try to understand what causes you the most stress, and do not be afraid to discuss it with your superiors and colleagues - together it is easier to find new solutions or redistribute responsibilities. Remember what you love about your job and try to focus on that. Experts also advise taking small breaks during the working day for something pleasant.

For the rest, the so-called work-life balance will help: try to set up processes so as not to live at work. Be sure to make time for your favorite non-professional activities, such as javelin throwing or bird watching. Well, let yourself rest. Don't check your work email in the middle of the night unless it's an emergency.

What if I'm the boss? How to protect the team from burnout?

To begin with, it’s good that you are thinking about it - because your subordinates definitely think about it: according to sociological studies, 53% of working people around the world are now closer to burnout than they were five years ago. Here it is important to closely monitor the moods in the team and clearly set goals: burnout often happens where an employee does not fully understand his area of ​​responsibility and tries to take on more than you expect from him. good recipe- change of focus. If someone is stuck in a routine and has been doing the same thing for a long time, but with less and less enthusiasm, it is worth giving him new tasks - but not as a load, but instead of some boring ones.

Cheer up, it really works. This is not necessarily about bonuses - it is important for subordinates to know that you notice their successes. All this creates an atmosphere of mutual respect, where everyone knows that he is in his place. And, of course, do not demand the impossible and show by your example that work is not a marathon, but a series of races. If you are included in the workflow around the clock, employees will feel guilty. In the end, think about yourself - after all, you yourself are not immune from burnout.

Burnout syndrome is the scourge of modern man. So many things and responsibilities fall on us that need to be done right now or even yesterday, that sooner or later we cannot stand it. The result is stress, anxiety, depression, fatigue, apathy, and even serious physical discomfort.

The phrase "burned out at work" does not seem like someone's joke: many of us know very well how it is. Fortunately, burnout syndrome can be noticed in time and prevent it from seizing power. How? We tell.

The frantic rhythm of life is the cause of troubles

Humans were not created to immediately live in the conditions of the 21st century. However, we adapted perfectly, but it came at a high price. In the past, people lived in small villages and knew each other well - even the appearance of a casual traveler or a fair was a big event. Any person knew who he would become when he grew up, since, as a rule, everyone continued the work of their fathers and mothers. They went to bed at nightfall and got up at dawn. Life was predictable.

Now humanity is in a state of permanent stress due to fundamental changes.

• Too much stimulation. We are attacked by a flood of information: from television, the Internet, our mobile phones, magazines and newspapers. We constantly make choices and decisions that drain our willpower.
• Insufficient security. Life is completely unpredictable. Work, home, family, intimate relationships, patriotism, freedom - over the past decades, these concepts have changed radically.
• The crisis of the meaning of life. Previously, we knew where to draw the meaning of life. We believed that if a person lives a righteous life, then God will reward him and send him to heaven. Now we really don't know why to live a righteous life, if we can't even understand what it means.

Thousands of years of living like this have shaped our brains, our beliefs and our response to stress. As long as we are young, everything is fine. But as we get older, things get worse. We are facing burnout syndrome.

Where is the energy going?

If you release energy only to keep yourself safe at work and manage things at home, there will be an imbalance. This, in turn, leads to burnout. Burnout occurs when we do the same thing day after day and do not feel progress.

Health deteriorates due to stress. We make impulse purchases to please ourselves a little. Or we lose income, because due to lack of ambition we work worse. We break relationships with people. We fixate on what prevents us from relaxing, and, of course, we always find many such obstacles. Mind control in moments of stress is a paradoxical process: when we try too hard to relax, or be happy, or not think about something, we inevitably fail.

And the more consciousness tries to control what should be involuntary, the worse it gets for us (the next time you are going for a walk, try to think about how you rearrange your legs): “This usually happens - the one who craved happiness more falls into into depression, and the one who most wanted to calm down becomes anxious.”

The answer to the question of how not to completely stall is to let success into your life. Striving for success will get rid of the feeling of running in place. There will be balance and everything will be alright.

Is there a balance?

The problem of balance is not far-fetched. Steve McCletchy, in his book From Urgent to Important, cites a study according to which 88% of people find it difficult to choose between work and personal life, 57% consider this a serious problem, and 64% state that they feel physically exhausted after work.

At the same time, we are forced to appreciate the work. The phrases “record unemployment rate” and “how to survive the crisis” are heard around. We have to take on more responsibilities just to stay in the same position. Weekdays turned into a race: to have time to delete things from the daily list in order to justify other people's expectations. But this is not a search for balance. It's a search for a way to survive.

Dividing a certain number of hours between work and personal life will also not bring balance. The stress that has accumulated during working hours will not disappear if you spend half a day in the office and the second half of the day at home. Balance is an immeasurable quantity.

Those who work 60 hours a week in highly paid positions confess their love for work. So because they are chasing success every day. The drive to succeed helps them survive grueling work hours and increased demands.

Success is not necessarily better or more. Meaning in moving towards the goal. An effective way to beat burnout is not to stop looking for the development of life aspects.

Getting out of the paws of fatigue, or Prevention of burnout

The main thing in the fight against stress, chronic fatigue and disappointment is to pull yourself together and give life a new meaning. Let's say you set unattainable goals for yourself or were in too much of a hurry. The circle is closed. But no matter what way we choose to deal with the vicious cycle of stress, there is always a chance to break it. By acknowledging the problems, we are already winning half the battle.

1. Be prepared for stress
Learn relaxation exercises, meditation, breathing practices. And try to become aware of your emotions. As soon as you realize that everything is about to go to hell, turn to the life-saving techniques that you have learned.

2. Do not give in to momentary desires
Some of our most regrettable actions are dictated by the desire to get rid of difficult experiences. However, these actions still did not help solve the problem or alleviate stress. The temptation is great to take medicine or look into a bar around the corner, break into a scream and say hurtful words when the mood is at zero. Do not hurry! Analyze your judgments and desires. If the situation requires your intervention, wait until you can control yourself.

3. Don't Forget the Essentials
Remember fundamental values ​​and act accordingly. What is more important - blow off steam or maintain a relationship with a loved one? Keep your core values ​​in mind and act accordingly.

4. Get a pet
The presence of a pet in the house will help you better deal with stress, and walking with a dog will open up new opportunities for communicating with people. When faced with difficult psychological decisions, pets can help lower high blood pressure better than any beta-blocker.

5. Pay attention to the state of your body
If you are overly anxious, angry, or frightened, first calm down, and to do this, do relaxation exercises. Go to the gym and do aerobics - this will help relieve stress. Do physical labor, it helps to get out of the situation. Long walks are also great therapy.

6. Tell yourself "Stop"
STOP is an acronym coined by Alcoholics Anonymous: Never make decisions when you are Angry, Anxious, Lonely or Depressed. Take care of your own needs first.

7. Make up your mind
If you have a really serious problem, you need to do something about it. Hard work? Look for a new one. Relationship with a partner reached an impasse? Maybe you should break up (but just think it over carefully). Sometimes we need an escape plan.

For example, the most common problem: if the work is too laborious (long hours, no help, a lot of pressure), start developing an escape plan. Don't waste money, don't buy new house or a new car, don't make any costly investment that could tie you to the job for a long time. Save your money. Think about a job that suits you better and look for options.

Even if you can't change things right away, the mere fact that you have a plan can ease the stress.

"I'm not in control of my life!"

Do you know people (or consider them yourself) who managed their own lives so badly that they now hate everything in themselves? They feel trapped in a never ending cycle of unpleasant work situations, heavy debts, responsibilities, broken relationships, and even health issues due to stress and fatigue.

People feel that everything around them is a duty, and they themselves have no control. Burnout and stress rule their lives and they are at the lowest point of motivation and productivity.

Control over your responsibilities, time and results… How does that sound? appeasement? Calm? Productivity? Maybe even a triumph?

We will not be able to experience all the amazing opportunities that life has to offer if we are constantly busy with business and are in a state of stress. But you don't deserve more. Is not it? Learn to recognize signs of emotional burnout in time and take action. Then every day will be filled with happiness and joy.

Emotional and professional burnout, leading to general exhaustion, become the main cause of diseases from the heart, to the thyroid gland and oncology. By applying even a few of the techniques described below, you will learn how to significantly improve your well-being.

At some point, I caught myself thinking that I was leading a slightly different lifestyle than I would like. Constant fatigue and slight burnout have quietly become my constant companions. There are several promising projects, but with such labor productivity that I have now, I won’t be able to pull them off. So, sooner or later it will lead to problems with money.

Moreover, I did not have enough time and energy to communicate with my wife and children, and wow, how quickly they grow up. It turns out a shoemaker without boots. Every evening, the child came several times and asked - dad, have you finished work yet? Will you play with me? Will you read me a fairy tale? And I'm tired, and I'm not up to it.

But I would like to go skiing in the winter, skating, rollerblading and cycling in the summer, and much more. I kind of regularly did yoga in the morning, on weekends I sometimes went for a run. Periodically, the whole family skated and skied. Wasn't that enough?

It all started as usual, I wanted the best - I began to work out 1-2 hours a day, and then I didn’t have the strength to go outside to run, ski or skate, and I also didn’t have the strength to meditate in the evening. After a week of overwork, I began to burn out. Another week or two of this lifestyle and there will be exhaustion.

What is SEV? Burnout Syndrome is...

This is when there is a feeling of severe fatigue, not only physically, but also emotionally (mentally), which does not go away for weeks. It's hard to wake up in the morning. At work, it is difficult to concentrate and do important things. Productivity is low, deadlines are violated. Bosses or clients are not happy with you, but there is no strength to work better, even if you try.

At the same time, a state of apathy is felt - you don’t want to do anything. This is a deep exhaustion of the body due to emotional burnout. It is very difficult to concentrate on your duties. Relationships at work and at home with loved ones deteriorate. Children painfully endure such a state of their parents and take part of the fatigue and stress on themselves.

People do not immediately understand what is happening to them and why it happened. Simple enhanced rest on the weekend does not help. There is dissatisfaction with life and dissatisfaction. Self-pity intensifies, resentment against almost everyone and for everything. Someone's remarks and their minor failures irritate, more than ever, and intensify the state. At the end of the day, no matter what you did during the day, you feel squeezed out like a lemon, not only physically, but also mentally.

Your situation at work or in your personal life seems hopeless and hopeless. And the challenges seem insurmountable. Burnout and such exhaustion cannot be eliminated by standard methods - a trip on vacation, more sleep, rest, as before. Often accompanied by insomnia with general constant fatigue.

Can break through to the zhor and swim weight. Or vice versa, appetite disappears and weight drops critically.

Why do we get emotionally tired and burn out?

No forces? Projects cannot be made, dreams cannot be realized, it will not be possible to communicate with children for a long time, and life does not turn out the way we wanted. Or maybe you already spat on all this? Are you working to support yourself and your family? Or would you still like to aim for something more? Live a joyful life, be satisfied with your life, some dreams, but still realize?

Let's first find out - why do we burn out?

1. Sedentary work for 8 hours a day - requires at least 1 hour a day of leg activity, preferably with the parasympathetic on. The legs are the weakest part of the body. Are you moving a little? Expect burnout, and then exhaustion.
2. Constantly being inside enclosed spaces is very tiring. You need to go outside for at least 1-2 hours / day - saturate the body with oxygen and give physical activity. If you are not on the street - further tips to eliminate fatigue will be useless for you.
3. Sleep, insomnia. Daytime stress turns on so that then the body and mind cannot calm down and relax for a long time. In a partially wound state, it is impossible to fall asleep on time and sleep normally. By itself, this state does not go away - it needs to be released.
4. A sedentary lifestyle means that the body is full of energy in the evening, while mentally you feel tired. So it turns out that it is difficult to fall asleep, being tired.
5. Too much stress during the day. We were taught theorems and integrals at school, even the theory of relativity was told a little. But we were not taught to get along with each other, just like letting go of stress. Working with people means a lot of stress – whatever that may be.
6. Lack of harmonious communication with loved ones: family, children. Lack of own hobbies, petty joys, periodic change of scenery, travel. Life, turned into a continuous work, emotionally and mentally tires, exhausts, burns out. Living only for the sake of work does not bring satisfaction and joy.
7. Frequent criticism, especially undeserved. And it doesn't matter where it happens at home or at work.
8. Low wage. What creates a feeling of uselessness, underestimation, not being in demand.

a. Burn out at work or professional burnout.

Occupational burnout and exhaustion is increasingly due to work. In Japan, the authorities are forced to introduce administrative and even criminal penalties for death from overtime. Even in China, they began to pay attention to this and punish them.

In Europe, working more than 220 hours a year at a work rate of 1,800 hours a year is prohibited by law and punishable by fines - this is monitored by labor protection services and trade unions.

• tight deadlines
• punitive obligations
• big risks or responsibility
• routine work
• low or falling demand/sales,
• receiving or reading a lot of negative news
• conflicts of intrigue among colleagues
• taking out discontent on each other and especially on the part of the authorities
• frequent inspections, changes in legislation
• disrespectful attitude towards you, outright rudeness
• difficult working conditions with people

Some statistics about burnout.

In Europe, professional burnout is the cause of 50-60% of lost working days.

In Australia, to cope with stress:

• 61% of people drink alcohol
• 41% gamble
• 31% use drugs.

In Russia, in total, up to 70% of the population, who, according to statistics, are depressed, are at risk.

As you can see, the statistics are depressing. And it tends to grow.

b. Family causes of emotional burnout.

Emotional burnout It can also happen for family reasons. In mothers after birth, due to insomnia. Even housewives can happen. The causes of burnout are about the same as at work, but coming from the family. Not appreciated, not respected. Busy household chores. Difficult financial situation in the family. Debts, psychologically pressing on the psyche.

Lack of due attention, love, recognition, support from a spouse. Intervention of other people in the affairs of the family. Unfounded criticism. Lack of regular sex, which helps relieve some stress and promotes better sleep.

According to the Pareto rule, 80% of tasks require 20% of energy. And the remaining 20% ​​of cases require 80% of energy. In other words, if a wife will only look after small children, and get up at night and do housework herself: cook, wash, clean, then she has a serious chance of burning out. But if the husband or one of the parents at least help and take on up to 20% of the affairs in the family in order to give his wife a little sleep, then thereby save her 80% of her strength.

c. Age crises

All people have age crises for which our education does not prepare at all. Moreover, our culture is somewhat frowned upon to openly acknowledge and discuss our crises. In youth, there is a lot of energy and little experience - this energy is spent extremely unproductively and often to the detriment of oneself.

To be honest, I felt my first crisis already at the age of 18-19, when I had to face life one on one for the first time. Alas, they do not prepare independent life in schools and universities. And the state doesn't care about that. At that time, the Soviet Union had just collapsed and shock therapy began in the economy. I tried myself in several directions, but I did not really succeed in my business.

The second time I faced a crisis at the age of 25-27.

By that time, I had learned to make good money, but I had to work incredibly hard. There was not enough time for hobbies and personal life. And there was no experience in building relationships. A slight dissatisfaction began to overcome me. And brought to sciatica at the age of 28.

Having suffered for nine months with radiculitis, I felt like an old man: you couldn’t bend over, and you had to dress very warmly because of the constant feeling of cold in the lower back. Radiculitis was cured in 3 days, on yoga courses. Why don't doctors know about this?

The next crisis arose around the age of 33 - it was already a classic midlife crisis. But I spent it at work for 8-16 hours a day. And all my free time I meditated, looking for a solution.

Blood pressure dropped to 82/75 and I wanted to sleep all the time. Only the kicks of the authorities dragged me to work. At some point I almost died from it. But knowledgeable people helped - the pressure leveled out in 1 evening, it became like in the book 126/90.

I felt the next crisis when I was 40 years old.

Something happens to us at this age - you need to seriously change your lifestyle in order to cope with everything. Most men burn out and cannot fully overcome this milestone. A sluggish downshifting begins: beer, fishing, football, the Internet, simple work, detachment from household chores.

Each of the crises is an emotional burnout and should not be underestimated. For example, in the English-speaking world there is a "27 club" - these are celebrities who have died at the age of 27. In other words, the celebrities who could not cope with this age crisis.

d. Reasons from childhood.

By and large, the cause of age crises is the lack of preparation for adulthood. We are not taught this in school. Yes, and parents often, instead of passing on life experience to their children, pour their dissatisfaction on them. Many people have had difficult childhoods for one reason or another.

Let's be honest - just as you were not taught to raise children, no one taught your parents either. And for most, it wouldn't hurt to learn. Raising children is no easy task. The socialization process that each of us goes through in childhood is quite painful.

e. External causes

For the past 25 years, there has been a continuous crisis in the country, and throughout the world. Somewhere it is felt more strongly, somewhere less. It would be dishonest of me to say that an external factor does not affect your life at all.

We live in a world that is changing too fast and too competitive, at the intersection of several crises: economic, cultural, ethnic, demographic, and others. All this exerts some psychological pressure.

Doctors and teachers, although they are budget employees, have quite hard work, and then there are continuous “reforms” in medicine and education, when in words they seem to want the best and promise support, but in reality everything is done exactly the opposite.

From such a dissonance, doctors and teachers feel deceived, unnecessary and burn out. And until the policy of the state changes, they will be at risk. And what about businessmen and people employed by companies?

Emotional burnout and your responsibility for what is happening.

All these reasons and factors complicate your life up to emotional burnout, but you need to take responsibility for your life. You are responsible for what happens to you and no one else. Want to change your life for the better? Take full responsibility for your life.

If you have someone to blame for every difficult situation, then your life will never improve.

1. Professional burnout syndrome - and character traits.

Some people are prone to professional burnout, emotional exhaustion, chronic fatigue. These people are prone to the following traits:

• Perfectionists, idealists - people who constantly try to make everything as good as possible, perfect
• prone to feelings of guilt, taking on too much responsibility, sacrificing one's own interests
• touchy people, as well as those who have high expectations in relation to others, to themselves
• people with "pink glasses" who usually break "face on the asphalt of reality."
• The desire to please everyone, usually at their own expense.

The most difficult thing is that you can stay in these states for decades, even be proud of these traits and not notice how much they harm your life and health. Yes, I myself was touchy, and did not notice that I was offended because of every little thing. At the same time, he considered himself an inoffensive, good guy.

Only burnout made me pay attention to my touchiness, to perfectionism. Moreover, it was so deep inside of me that if someone had drawn my attention to this, I would not have believed them at all.

One way or another, these patterns of behavior need to be tracked down in yourself and get rid of them. Something can be changed in oneself by an effort of will, and something may require a visit to a special training. Why not?

People who live for others are very touchy. Because they sacrifice themselves for the sake of loved ones and therefore are full of expectations of the same victims in return, even if they think that they do not need anything. But the subconscious cannot be fooled. Expectations are an unconscious process. Many do not understand that living for yourself is normal.

Burnout syndrome and profession.

Most often, burnout occurs in those who work with other people and have increased responsibility. Also for creative people.

And it doesn’t matter whether your work really involves a lot of responsibility, risks, or whether you yourself have thought of everything and screwed yourself up.

Particularly at risk are:

• doctors, medical workers especially those who work in the ambulance. And even ambulance drivers, as shown in the film with Nicolas Cage "Resurrecting the Dead."
• Teachers in universities and especially in schools. Fewer kindergarten teachers.
• Service staff, especially with a large flow of people, not very polite behavior: bars, service centers, call centers
• Sales managers, marketers, managers of different levels, company owners, entrepreneurs, businessmen.
• Creative workers: designers, artists, actors, directors.

Multiple daily encounters with negative mood, discontent, rudeness, in other people. With a general lack of preparedness for such situations and support from management. Virtually guarantees the occurrence of stress, which over time accumulates like a snowball and intensifies, turning first into burnout, and then into exhaustion.

All cases have common signs - loss of interest in work, fatigue. Working with people is very, very difficult, even in the most favorable conditions there will be stress. All people need to be prepared for real life: to teach to let go of stress, which, unfortunately, we do not have in the education system. You will either learn on your own, or life will force you to learn, but you will undermine your health.

Professional emotional burnout and business.

More and more effort is required to attract customers and sales. Customer orders are decreasing. Bills to pay, obligations and debts are getting bigger. Absence long term. Uncertainty.

Less room for error. Possible consequences more and more mistakes. The loss of a job or business becomes a very likely event - even companies that have been operating for 50-150 years go bankrupt. This greatly complicates the moral climate in business and creates psychological stress.

Emotional stress at work increases. The amount of time for rest is the same or less. The situation forces you to give all the best and even work harder. Projects require more impeccability in execution, i.e. more mental strength.

Moreover, in conditions where victories are difficult to obtain, the joy of another victory can be the cause of burnout. In general, from positive emotions burnout is 5 times stronger than from negative ones. There are just more negative emotions, and less strong positive emotions, and this is not so noticeable.

2. 10 signs of emotional burnout or exhaustion.

Not all people understand immediately what is really happening to them and why. Often, many perceive what is happening at their own expense or blame others for this - this is the main danger of emotional exhaustion and burnout.

Society has an erroneous understanding of the norm. For example, some believe, if after 40 years it hurts somewhere, then you are still alive". In other words, perceive pain in the body as the norm, after 40.I assure you this is far from the case. If you take care of your health, you will live 100-120 years, and even at 80-90 you will still be in fairly good health.

Age is not a reason for disease. According to Norbekov - with age comes only insanity, and diseases from lack of care for your body. Pay attention to the following signs - many have them. Just do not assume that this is normal with age.

• Early gray hair, hair loss
• Heart problems, diseases, reduced immunity
• Constant experience, fears, irritation, discontent
• Loss of memory, teeth, blurred vision
• Wrinkles, bruising under the eyes, aged appearance
• Heart attack, stroke, grouchiness, insanity
• Drowsiness, insomnia, constant fatigue even after sleep
• Lack of joy, depression, apathy, hopelessness
• Reluctance to have sex
• Alcohol cravings, overeating, malnutrition

All these external signs of burnout are not the age norm.

Many illnesses can be easily managed or avoided without medication. Any disease is not normal. Each of the above signs can be pushed back a dozen or so years. It is enough to regularly perform just a few simple exercises.

Most people cannot be an indicator of the norm - because the majority is initially wrong. An indicator of the norm is some individuals who look great and feel good in their 70s, 80s, 90s and even older.

The main character from the Shaman's Laughter trilogy is about 120 years old. At the age of about 100, he looked 50-60 years old and seemed to be stronger than the author of the book at the age of 47. Moreover, at the age of 105-110, he started a civil marriage, not bad, right? There are thousands of such examples. I have personally met many people in their 50s and 60s looking 40 with a health of 25.

With simple, uncomplicated exercises, you can get rid of 95-99% of diseases. And the rest, with the help of doctors, will be much easier to eliminate if you generally monitor your health.

Just start taking care of yourself and your health.

1. Five stages of the syndrome of emotional professional burnout

The progress of emotional and professional burnout and exhaustion can be conditionally divided into 5 stages. Moreover, there may be different reasons for their occurrence, but the stages and causes are approximately the same.

• At the first stage, it still looks good outwardly, but some fatigue is already felt.
• The first external signs: insomnia due to fatigue, decreased concentration on duties, some apathy
• Difficulty concentrating at work, frequent distractions - processing with a decrease in actual work time.
• The first signals from the body: health is deteriorating, immunity is decreasing, colds out of the blue, old sores remind of themselves. Discontent, irritation, pickiness - become a permanent state.
• Fatigue has become chronic and turns into exhaustion, health is beeping big, outbursts of anger, self-pity, resentment, guilt.

4. Symptoms of burnout

I don’t even know if it’s worth talking about the symptoms of emotional burnout, if most people are in chronic burnout. It is believed that emotional burnout has a rather long latent, latent period. And to be honest, I do not quite agree with the scientific explanation of the symptoms.

Officially, it is believed that at first the enthusiasm for performing one's duties decreases. I want to quickly get rid of work, but it turns out the opposite - rather slowly. The desire to focus on what is no longer interesting disappears. There is a feeling of fatigue from work in general and irritability for everyone a little bit.

But the fact of the matter is that burnout is emotional. And it may happen that there is interest in work, but a person is criticized a lot, external factors interfere very much - and burnout occurs.

Symptoms of emotional burnout can be divided into 3 groups:

Physical Symptoms of Burnout

• Chronic, constant fatigue;
• weakness and lethargy in the muscles;
• headache
• decreased immunity;
• insomnia;
• eye fatigue, decreased vision;
• joint and back pain

Weight changes due to the fact that usually stress “wants” to seize. There is also a loss of appetite - for example, after a divorce or dismissal. Which leads to a noticeable change in weight and appearance

Socio-behavioral signs:

• The desire to run away from everyone or resentment at everyone, as a result of the desire for isolation, a minimum of communication with others
• evasion of responsibility, dereliction of duty, laziness
• blaming others for their own troubles, resentment, irritation
• envy, complaints, that someone is lucky in life
• complaints about your life and the fact that you have to work hard;
• pessimism, negative is seen in everything

Many people go into escapism or dayshifting whenever they can. Cravings for sweets, alcohol, or even drugs may appear.

Psycho-emotional signs:

• there is indifference to one's life and the events taking place around;
• self-doubt, low self-esteem
• disappointment in others
• loss of professional motivation;
• irascibility, irritation and dissatisfaction with other people
• depression, persistent Bad mood, life failed

Syndrome of mental burnout, clinically similar to depression. There is an experience of semi-contrived suffering from artificially created loneliness elevated to the degree of doom. In this state, it is difficult to focus or concentrate. However, burnout is much easier to overcome than it might seem at first glance.

5. Implicit symptoms of professional emotional burnout.

You can deceive your mind or yourself. But it is impossible to deceive your subconscious or something in the depths of your soul. If you are tired and overworked, then you will rest. Of course, you can imitate vigorous activity, sit in social networks, read the news, but in fact, it will be a psychological rest.

You may even sincerely believe that you are working. But if the body is tired - then it is tired - and it will rest, whether you like it or not. The body or consciousness will start to turn off, you will sleep on the go, concentration will decrease, attentiveness will decrease, thoughts will start to get confused. Errors in work are possible.

Productivity will come to naught - which means that you will be engaged in small, unimportant things, routine. But you won’t be able to relax normally either - this is precisely the biggest danger. The next day you will come to work in the same or almost the same condition, which again will tell on your productivity.

Continuing to work in this mode for a long time, sooner or later you will face a decrease in income. And when the issue of money is added to your fatigue, emotional burnout and professional exhaustion are guaranteed.

If you are tired - go to rest! Get out of this corkscrew.

6. Where do professional burnout and emotional exhaustion come from?

I remember in the mid-90s, the guys and I went to a neighboring city 170 km away. The car was 17 years old, "Kopeyka", it just had the engine rebuilt - the pistons and rings were replaced. After such an overhaul, the engine had to withstand 100 thousand kilometers, if you drive carefully, at a maximum speed of 90–110 km / h.

But we were young and hot, we had fun, so we drove by pressing the gas pedal to the floor, which was a speed of 130 km / h. It would seem that the difference in speed is only 20% more, and we drove some 400–450 km. But it was enough to burn the engine. It turns out that we burned the engine using only 0.4% of the resource, i.e. 200 times faster.

Emotional exhaustion and professional burnout affect you in much the same way; by working only 20% harder than your maximum resources, you shorten the rest of your life by 20–200 times. Is it worth it? And don't ask me how to go to bed at 9 pm.

Do not ask - maybe you don't need to run 3 times a week and train your heart? Therefore, when you feel tired at work and do not work - go home, rest, recuperate - you may be able to work the next day. The working day should be a maximum of 8 hours - because this is the maximum time for work.

Of course, you can work another hour more, as doctors, businessmen, managers often do - but you need to remember that the next day you will have to pay double the price for this. If today you overworked 2 hours, then tomorrow you will be idle for 4 hours.

7. Consequences of burnout syndrome

And if you are constantly in a state of burnout, emotional exhaustion, physical or mental fatigue, your “ship of life” simply does not have the fuel, the energy to move forward.

If youth knew
if old age could.

In youth, you burn out from the lack of life experience. In adulthood, from the inability to recover. One way or another, burnout and fatigue accumulate over the years, and after 40 years turn into chronic fatigue or exhaustion.

And all because we are not taught to let go of stress gradually. So we collect it on ourselves all our lives, and all the stress of life settles on our body with a thick layer of tense muscles, scientifically this is called a “shell of tension”.

If you do not eliminate burnout, then over time there is a feeling of hopelessness in your life situation. Depression appears. May develop into alcoholism. Constant feeling of hopelessness, disappointment in one's own life, disappointment in oneself. Feeling of injustice. Feeling of deceit.

These are very strong destructive emotions. I would say that they are not compatible with life. You have seen them many times in the elderly. Usually people die quickly after that. Often such people are seriously ill with difficult-to-treat diseases.

As Faina Ranevskaya cynically noted: if the patient wants to live, then the doctors are powerless. Doctors themselves often notice that if a patient does NOT want to live, then doctors are powerless. Hopelessness and disappointment with life - this is the unwillingness to live.

Many people are accustomed to the fact that life is hard, they get tired, get sick, and this way of life seems normal to them. This is an unconscious thought pattern imposed from nowhere. But this is not so - life can and should bring joy, pleasure, despite external circumstances. The crisis will not end soon - why not live now? Not enjoy life?

8. Emotional burnout and exhaustion - accumulate in the body for years.

There is an anecdote: Comrade General, stop the train. In response, the general commanded - Train, stop! One, two.

Emotional burnout and exhaustion are also a kind of "train" - do not fool yourself that you can stop them or manage them in "one, two."

According to Wilhelm Reich: Emotional fatigue, burnout, exhaustion, create muscle tension in the body, which, becoming chronic, further inhibits the free movement of energy flows and blood flow in the body. Sooner or later, this tension leads to the formation of a "muscle shell of tension", which creates fertile ground for the development of neurosis.

Spending every day, for years, since childhood in a similar corset, a person becomes more and more tense and heavy. This stiffness of the muscles throughout the body, arises from the load of emotions that you carry on yourself. Naturally, these constantly tense muscles are terribly tiring and deplete your strength. As a result, a person ceases to notice his stiffness and tension, loses his natural interest in life.

You are so accustomed to the constant tension of the muscles that you do not notice this shell. But, if you pay attention to the tension in the shoulders, neck, face, back of the thighs, near the knees, you will see that many of these muscles are constantly tense.

9. The official scientific methods of letting go of burnout don't work.

The most interesting thing is that 80-100 years have already passed, but so far scientists have not proposed a full-fledged method for releasing this accumulated tension in the muscles of the body. Either they don't know, or they don't want to offer. Therefore, I do not believe that official professors and doctors of psychological sciences will be able to offer you something really effective for burnout.

I contend that any technique of letting go of fatigue, burnout, emotional exhaustion is nothing if it cannot let go of the tense muscles of the “shell of tension”.If someone tells me about another super-method of releasing burnout and fatigue, I ask 1 question: does the “armor of tension” let go?

If the answer is no, and the answer has always been no, until now - I don't even want to look any further - the whole dead poultice technique. And it can be used in addition to something, but not as a main technique.

If you really want to let go of psychological fatigue, emotional exhaustion and professional burnout, then you should do exercises that release the shell of tension too. Otherwise, it is an attempt to stop the train "by the power of thought" for "one, two."

10. Learn to relax - or how to deal with emotional burnout.

You need to be able to rest. By itself, this skill will not appear. Money does not solve this issue. I know many people who are 10 times richer than me - but they sleep worse, rest, and are less full of energy, especially mental ones. Why? They don't know how to rest.

The difficulty of rest lies in the fact that we must take into account that we have not only a body, but also a consciousness. And they can get tired of both one and the other. Biorhythms may not coincide when the body wants to sleep, but the consciousness does not, and then it is difficult to fall asleep. Therefore, it is highly recommended to prepare the body and mind for sleep. Stop watching TV 2-3 hours before bedtime, turn off your computer and smartphone.

One of the main reasons why it is not possible to rest normally is a sedentary sedentary lifestyle. Working with the mind and reacting emotionally, it turns out that you are psychologically tired. And physically they moved a little, that is, they were full of strength. Go to bed and start counting sheep, unable to sleep when tired.

Here are a few tips on how you can better relax and get enough sleep:

• You need to be outdoors every day for at least 1 hour. Better yet, 2 hours a day. For example, Russian nobles almost without fail walked 2 hours a day. If you violate this paragraph, then everything else is useless.
• Go to bed earlier. To fall asleep earlier at the same time, set your body to sleep a few hours in advance. One hour of sleep in the evening is equal to several hours of sleep in the morning. Isn't that why you sleep in the morning, sleep, but waking up feeling like a hangover? And even the head can ache from too much sleep in the morning.
• Drink water as soon as you wake up, before meals and every hour. Water is needed for 3 main systems in our body: for the brain, immunity and digestion. What people call thirst is more like some kind of dehydration. We don't have the exact sensation of wanting to drink. Therefore, water should be drunk consciously, according to the regime, and not when you want to drink.
• 8 hours of sedentary work should be offset by 1 hour of physical activity. The activity that gives you pleasure is desirable. And you also need to remember that activity should be aimed only at health, and not at the ego like bodybuilders or fitness enthusiasts, where some parts of the body or joints are overloaded.
• Eat right with enough proteins, enzymes, spices, fiber, vegetables and fruits. If you don't have fruits and fiber in your diet, you're almost guaranteed to have mild or even severe constipation. The same goes for vegetables. The main source of fiber is bread, so our ancestors ate everything with bread.

Food should be tasty and pleasant, easy to chew. Limit sweets. If you need to lose weight, then learn to chew your food more carefully and lose weight by a maximum of 50-100 grams per week.

How to fall asleep faster and get better sleep in order to be full of energy in the morning?

On Monday, he set a record when jogging on skis: 7.7 km in 53 minutes.

The weather was great for skiing. And the skiing was very slippery.

The result exceeded all my expectations: almost 2 times faster than the day before. Almost not tired. Legs on the second day almost did not hurt. A week later, the record was broken by 3-4 minutes. And this despite the fact that I was already running 2 laps, i.e. 15.4 km. And on average, I ran 30-45 km per week.
(By the way, this is very little, the last world record in cross-country skiing is 50 km in 1 hour and 46 minutes.)

Why all this? Why run multiple times a week? Yes, because from a sedentary lifestyle and burnout - probably the most deaths happen every year. About 31.4% die from heart disease alone every year. You need to move a LOT more.

If you have read the Shaman's Laughter series by Vladimir Serkin, then in the third book the author asks him: How long will you be able to maintain life in your body? "Shaman" answered - yes, for a long time. How many people at the age of 120 would you hear this from?

I am sure that 99% of people could live up to 100-120 years.

If only they moved like this "shaman". Well, they would let go of stress, disappointment, and other negative emotions.

Everything that is comparable can be used as a run: skiing, skating, rollerblading, actively cycling, swimming, jogging. You need to run for at least 30 minutes, and preferably 1-2 hours per session, 2-4 times a week. Once a week is NOT ENOUGH to maintain a healthy heart and get enough sleep.

You need to run with pleasure and at a low heart rate. Running fast, at a high heart rate is strictly contraindicated. Running with pleasure is also a must - this is how the parasympathetic turns on, that is, you gain energy.

Jogging without pleasure, that is, in sympathy, means with a loss of energy, loads the joints, knees - jogging is extremely harmful to the knees and joints. Look at the occupational diseases of athletes who, in pursuit of records, overload their bodies. Do not rush to run a lot and quickly. You need health, not records.

You run to drive the blood through the body, to invigorate the heart, and to sleep well at night. Not for records. I have, for example, both skiing and jogging - very poor results at the moment. And I don't need any more. My friends can run 1.5-2 times faster, but their knees hurt after such runs.

An example of physical activity from my life.

Although I set a personal record, everyone overtook me again. This time they overtook - not only old people and grandmothers, but also a couple of children aged 9–11 :-). It seemed that they were moving at least 1.5–2 times faster than me. I wonder what their speed is?

It looks like I still have a huge potential for growth results. I still have a weak balance on skis, I fell 1 time when I hit clean ice from a hill. On cross-country skiing it is difficult to keep balance, and even at speed.

Skate style this time - 4.5 km managed to run. I was less tired than the previous time when I was able to run 1.5 km in skating style. Another interesting thing is that despite the fact that he moved almost 2 times faster than the calories burned, the tracker shows 27% less. How does he count them?

Yesterday I did not run - I rested. I'm going for a run again today, for an hour.

This is how my winter runs go. In the summer I run for 1-2 hours, about 8-10 km per hour. It's pretty slow, but I don't need the speed.

Perhaps someday the results will be many times better, or maybe not. For me, the main indicator is a pleasant feeling, from jogging, how I sleep, and so that my knees do not hurt. Many times I caught myself thinking that I did not want to run, because today I would not be able to repeat my best result. This is what pursuit of results means.

You know, it's hard to work actively for 8 hours a day and at the same time set records while jogging. Then I remind myself that I run for health, and not for the result - and I go running as I can.

Good sleep is essential to eliminate fatigue and burnout.

And you won’t be able to sleep normally without walking in the fresh air and without minimal runs every other day. Someone will say that they are engaged in the gym, fitness, yoga or swinging. Or dancing for an hour a day. Believe it or not, this is not enough for the heart and health.

Yes, it's better than nothing. The heart, except for jogging, does not train anything normally. Even monks in Buddhist monasteries and yogis run for hours. You can swing and jump in the gym as much as you like, but you still need to run, in the fresh air.

If you don’t train your heart, don’t help it pump blood through your body, it means that your heart and other organs are working with a load and even overload. Which means you burn out. You may not believe me, but a sedentary lifestyle is the most energy-consuming for the body.

The processes in the body are interconnected - muscles help move blood and fluids through the body, supply cells with oxygen, cleanse the body, and move food through the digestive tract. If you move a little, it means that each organ individually works with a load. Something like this…

11. The first rule of a spy or moral exhaustion.

We were not prepared either at school or at universities for real life. We are being prepared for a life that "should be", in a good way. There is a huge gap between these two "lives". With such upbringing, the first age crisis occurs already at the age of 18–20, when people first encounter reality one on one and “suddenly” it turns out that everything is a little more complicated.

In reality, it turns out that every man is for himself. And set-ups, deceit, rigidity, are not only in the movies, but also in their own skin, and they are not at all as cool as in the movies. And either you cope with the tasks, or you are replaced by another and continue to live as you want, where you want.

To fulfill your dreams, you need to plow and plow. And it's not a fact that it will work. This is disheartening. By and large, burnout comes from unpreparedness for life, when the skills to cope with situations are sorely lacking. And the pressure in the form of demands and claims from all sides continues to increase.

In life, the law of the jungle applies, only in the city they are tougher. The first rule of a spy is don't get caught. Well, if you get caught - "the fool himself."

On the other hand, you can learn to cope with burnout, stress, exhaustion pretty quickly. And keeping yourself healthy is pretty easy. You just need to understand that 85% of success in society is possible due to developed social skills. And only 15% thanks to technical education and knowledge.

I recommend developing the following skills in yourself in order to make life easier and not have to overstrain.

• Change. The world is constantly changing - you need to change with it. The ability to change is a skill. Even your body is changing. At different ages, you have different hobbies, routines and diets. Watch your habits - remember that at some point they will become obsolete and you will need to change them for others.
• To study. Life keeps getting more complicated, which means you need to keep learning. Yogis say that life is all learning. When I entered the university in 1991, some IT-related disciplines were so new that even the teachers did not know them and studied them together with the students. When I graduated in 1996, this knowledge was hopelessly outdated. And I had to learn something new, different. And now things are changing even faster. Read, learn, grow.
• Communication. The ability to communicate is a skill. It doesn't fall from the sky. Humans are social beings and that means communication. You need to be able to communicate with people. From the right communication for you with people you are interested in, you can get tremendous pleasure, inspiration and satisfaction. And this means mental forces of the highest quality.
• Building relationships. To learn how to build relationships with the opposite sex and at work, I read a couple of dozen books and went through more than a dozen trainings on each topic.

And voila - I learned how to build and maintain relationships both with women, friends, and at work.

When I got married, I took this whole pack of books, training records and gave it to my wife.

With words, if you want a long and normal relationship, you need to know all this. Read them as quickly as possible. And she read them. Everything. No questions.

• Health. It's a skill, not a given. Rely on the doctor, but don't make a mistake yourself. 95-99% of diseases can be eliminated - a healthy lifestyle. In the remaining cases, let the doctors help you. But no more.
  Abroad, the waiting list for an operation can be up to one year, there is no way to speed it up with money. It’s better not to get into an ambulance there - how many articles have already been written about this. Therefore, 20% of the population goes in for sports there. And in Russia (CIS) - only 2%. Hard? As it is, that's life. Are you taking care of your health? What are you waiting for: a kick in the ass in the form of a severe illness?

• Sales-purchases. We live in a world where everything is bought or sold for money. But at the same time, we are not taught at all - to buy and sell. I know a bunch of people who earn 2-3 times more than me, but live in worse conditions.

They can't buy and sell - a lot of money is stupidly lost to nowhere, every month. And they can't stop. They didn't buy the car. The apartment was not bought there and needs to be changed. And so several times. At home, a lot of unnecessary rubbish, in the absence of the necessary things. Clothes, groceries, home accessories - from the cannon budget for sparrows.
Moreover: sales, negotiations, persuasion, the ability to negotiate, purchases are, in fact, one and the same skill based on general principles.

Do you consider yourself more brilliant than Vincent van Gogh and Nikola Tesla?

They couldn't make a living from their talents - do you think you can if you don't learn how to sell, buy, bargain and negotiate with people?

• Honesty. Same skill as the ability to tell the truth. If you decide to tell the truth directly, then you will be called a truth-seeker, and maybe even an impudent and rude person. And they can also knock on the head. Yes, and you will also do if someone tramples on you with such honesty.
• Kindness. Oddly enough, also a skill. Kindness should be in moderation and in the right place. Nothing to feed the pigs with oranges - forgive me for this harsh, but life statement. If you are too kind, others will take advantage of you. But at the same time, obviously, being angry and dissatisfied is not an option. Although this is what many choose, unfortunately.
• Gratitude. Probably one of the most neglected skills. What people lack the most in our time is gratitude, appreciation. Start giving thanks and giving appreciation to others and you will be surprised how much better you will be treated. You will never be able to pay for everything with money - you have to learn to be grateful not with money, but in a different way.
• Performance. It is necessary not only to work, but to work profitably. Labor productivity is especially relevant for office workers. And even if you have not thought about it until now, now you should think about it. The competition is so high that either you have more productivity or your services are no longer needed.

Having these skills will make your life much easier. One way or another, you need to develop them. But their absence will cost a lot of gray hair and health, a waste of energy. Well, then emotional exhaustion, burnout, psychological fatigue ...

12. Sympathetic and parasympathetic body regulation systems

In order to have a good rest, you need physical activity on the body. But the fact is that not every load is suitable. Most sports are, to put it mildly, unhealthy, because they act one-sidedly on the body. Even running - almost indispensable for training the heart - is very harmful to the knees and joints. It turns out that playing sports heals something, and cripples another. Where is the exit?

And the thing is that we have 2 nervous systems for regulating the body - sympathetic and parasympathetic. But only the parasympathetic supports homeostasis – the desire of the system to reproduce itself, to restore the lost balance, to overcome the resistance of the external environment. Yes, and the internal environment too.

Therefore, you should practice in the parasympathetic system, which has a powerful restorative and healing property.

Going in for sports, fitness or something else without the inclusion of parasympathetics is an unaffordable luxury - because the sympathetic nervous system does not acquire, but spends your energy. That is, you will need more strength to recover, and the recovery processes will be weaker.

The included parasympathetic is an eternal elixir of youth - if you know how to use it. Naturally, you need to learn how to work with the included parasympathetic, and be in it as much as possible during the day. Then there will be a sea of ​​​​health, work will bring joy, and there will be no stress and fatigue from it. But this, of course, is aerobatics.

It's worth trying to learn it.

13. Ways out of emotional exhaustion, professional burnout and psychological fatigue.

The general answer to this question is to change your lifestyle. If you have the opportunity to change a job that drains you emotionally, then you should change it. If you have relationships, friends, or relatives who squeeze strength and health out of you, then you should at least reconsider them. You should refuse to communicate with vampire people - you cannot help them - only "life" can help them. But they will beat your health in such a way that it will not seem a little.

Next, you should review your daily routine and make any necessary changes. If you continue the same way of life that you have been up to now, then it is useless to struggle with exhaustion and recovery. Yes, I understand not everything depends on you, but you can change a lot.

Recovery plan for one weekend.

Ask your family and friends not to interfere with you or even help you - take on some of your responsibilities. And spend the weekend like this:

• Go to bed earlier in the evening. Let yourself sleep in the morning.
• Drink water.
• Morning exercises or yoga - for stretching. Any harmonious yogic complex. Perform with parasympathetic on.
• You can have breakfast. Walk 2 hours in the fresh air.
• Walking can be combined with a run - Jogging / skiing / or swimming - 1 hour (minimum) at the slowest pace, at a low heart rate.
• Take a nap at lunchtime. No TV, movies, internet, smartphone. It is better to communicate with children, friends, parents.
• Relaxation meditation - 15-30 minutes.
• Go to bed early at 21-22 hours. Have sex before bed! (Why not?)
• Repeat the next day.

The result will be even better if all the exercises are completed. More precisely, in the complete absence of gadgets and electric light and being outdoors. Well, or at least in the country.

Light and harmonious morning complex for stretching.

For 10 years I have been doing the simplest harmonious yoga complex Suryanamaskar of 33 movements. (Not to be confused with Suryanamaskar of 12 movements).

You need to do it at least 3 times a day. Each approach takes about 5-7 minutes and 1-2 minutes break between them. In my trainings, I tell in detail how to breathe correctly during the complex. How

The benefits of this complex can be described for hours. Deeply cleanses the body from the inside, gives energy, improves immunity, eliminates back pain, eliminates cellulite in 2-3 days, cures a lot of diseases. I talk more in my trainings. Or take a look at my website. I'll put my hands out.

Relaxation meditations.

1. The simplest and most relaxing is the rotation of the microcosmic orbit - from 15-20 minutes.
2. The next one is quite similar - yoga nidra, when you “roll” energy balls through the body in turn with different sensations of heat, tingling, cold. And different colored balloons.
3. Deconcentration of attention - has more than 5 varieties.
4. Well, the most effective meditation is memory, during it you remember your day in reverse order and let go of all daytime tensions.

Different meditations are suitable for different cases. There are also options for remembering performed with a partner for especially difficult emotional situations from the past, but it can only be taught at live trainings.

This should be enough for you to recuperate over the weekend. Next, you need to lead an energy-efficient lifestyle and let go of the causes of emotional fatigue, as described in the following paragraphs.

Remember that the best and fastest way to relax is don't get tired i.e. lead an energy-efficient lifestyle with elements of recuperation every day. Tired less, and have a good rest every day, otherwise there will be an accumulation of fatigue.

14. Prevention of emotional stress and professional burnout.

Health needs to be monitored every day, and not when "a rooster pecked in the ass." And they also say: “It’s too late for Gogi to drink Borjomi if there are no more kidneys.” It's better not to bring it up.

To do this, you need to create your daily routine in such a way that it includes all the necessary elements of saving your health and recuperation every day.

• Morning yoga - every working day. You can take a break on weekends.
• Drink enough water in the morning, before meals and every hour at work.
• Work in blocks - remember to stand up and stretch every hour.
• Be outdoors every day for at least 1-2 hours.
• Minimum 1 hour physical activity 3 times a week. Ideally 2-3 times a week for 2 hours.
• After dinner, when you feel sleepy, meditate for 15-30 minutes. Or, you can even take a nap.
• Meditate before going to bed and during the day to restore strength for 15-30 minutes.
• Let go of emotional clamps and stuff… (in the next paragraph.)

About morning yoga

Many will say that they get up early, do not get enough sleep and go to work, so they cannot do yoga in the morning. I would say that this is self-deception and excuses. Get up half an hour earlier and do yoga every morning. It doesn't matter how early you have to get up. Go to bed half an hour earlier for this.

I know builders who started work at 5 in the morning and left the house at 4.30. In order to have time to do yoga - on my recommendation, they got up at 3 in the morning, and went to bed at 19-20 hours. This is such an unusual daily routine - but they like their work, so they adjusted to it.

30 minutes of yoga in the morning is equivalent to 1-2 hours of sleep, plus the elimination of back pain, support of the immune system and the whole body in order, which leads to the elimination of 95-99% of diseases.

Is it possible to do without running?

Only a short-term replacement like skiing, skating, rollerblading, swimming and nothing more. But still, alas, you can’t do without running completely. I looked for a replacement for a long time, but found nothing. For a sedentary lifestyle, physical activity needs to go through the legs, and be for the heart. It is the legs that we have the weakest element in the body, and not the breath. When you start running, you will feel that the legs are the weakest, and breathing quickly gets used.

You need to run ONLY at a low pulse - a meditative run with parasympathetics turned on. Run slowly, but run. Starting to run correctly, you will quickly begin to get incredible pleasure from it.

15. Constant stress is the cause of emotional exhaustion.

Resting in stress - it is almost impossible to get enough sleep. And guaranteed is the accumulation of fatigue, which sooner or later will lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout. It is stress that creates the tension that accumulates in the form of a “shell of tension”.

Let go of stress - you need to learn, additionally. It would be great if we were taught this from childhood, but alas, as it is. Few people really understand why and how stress arises, where and how it is deposited, why it arises, how to let go of stress. In our time, this knowledge is vital already.

To get started, get a notebook, which will become your diary, where you will write all your thoughts.

Stress arises from accumulated grievances, discontent, expectations, feelings of guilt, fear of shame, anger, anger, jealousy, envy, self-pity.

Yes, they create emotional burnout and exhaustion for you. It is these emotions that create heartache especially self-pity.

• Write down in your diary every similar situation that you can remember.
• Start with the simplest and start letting go. Learning to let go is not easy. Then move on to more complex ones.
• You can't confuse the moment of letting go with anything. It needs to be felt. It feels like a very deep release, relief, as if some kind of weight has been removed from the shoulders.
• Letting go of resentment, expectations, etc. is a skill that needs to be developed.
• First to let go 1 difficult situation it may take you several hours and even days, but then it will take 1 second. It took me 3 days for the first offense, but I immediately undertook to let go of the big one - do not make my mistake.
• In the evening before going to bed - mentally remember the day in reverse order and let go of all emotional situations. You will see that there are more of them than you had time to notice before. But they are small.
• As soon as all the situations from the list are over, write the next set of similar situations. Repeat the practice until you release EVERYTHING.
• Set aside 0.5–1 hour per day for this practice.

You need to let go of such situations, and not others. You let go of resentment for yourself, not for someone else. You will be surprised how much health and strength your grievances eat up. And how much better will you feel. I guarantee you that you will have less gray hair, wrinkles and other signs of aging if you do this exercise regularly.

After releasing emotional tensions - you will sleep like a baby! If released correctly. I will cover this in more detail in a separate article. And in my trainings I teach this and give a step-by-step plan.

16. Meditation or how to get rid of deep chronic fatigue, professional burnout, emotional exhaustion.

What has accumulated over the years cannot be released by practices at the level of consciousness. Need meditation practice different kind. And also “not to get caught during the day”, that is, not to get tired, not to strain during the day - it is impossible without meditation. And also in order not to get tired during the day - you need to let go of stress, which is deep in the subconscious.

There are at least 3 "reactors" of "bioatomic" energy in your body that could feed you indefinitely, if turned on correctly. One of them you already know is the parasympathetic system.

There are 5 meditations and 3 of them have up to 5 different ways performance to release different fatigue, burnout, stress in different situations. To restore mental strength.

Meditation is an eternal or endless source of strength and health.

Because it brings back the powers from your past. It was there that your strength was “lost”, starting right from childhood. This meditation will also teach you how to relax during the day.

Another meditation temporarily turns off the armor of tension, which gives a powerful restorative effect to the entire body and releases fatigue.

I cannot teach you all the intricacies of meditation through an article. I also cannot describe to you in detail all the plans for letting go of various fatigue, stress, burnout. I will write a separate article about letting go of stress, but this will also not be enough to let go of the deep stress accumulated since childhood. Everything is too individual.

Such situations require individual adjustment and direction, which can only be given in training. That is why I have compiled a detailed training to quickly eliminate fatigue, stress, burnout, exhaustion - for different stages neglect.

There are 2 participation packages - and the simplest one - costs a penny and is affordable for everyone. However, the most expensive one is also available to everyone, with a strong desire.

How to quickly increase the amount of strength at times and return the joy of life.

After completing this training, you will increase the strength and productivity of work at times, and with it, increase your income.

I am sure that even on medicines you will save many times more than the most expensive training package.

Save your time and money. Choose the right package and let's go through it all together. If in doubt about which training package to choose, choose the simplest one. And then, if you like it, pay extra, and take the next one.

PS
If you have not read the Shaman's Laughter trilogy by Vladimir Serkin, be sure to read it. I donated 20 of these books and, on my recommendation, another 300 people bought or downloaded them on the Internet. Each time I heard only positive feedback and thanks in return for this book.

PS3
To quickly regain your strength, build an energy efficient regime and double your productivity, I recommend that you take my training -

There are several participation packages - the simplest 5 lessons. Average - 5 weeks. Full inculcation of skills, access to new level strength, health, productivity - 12 months = 1 year. Follow the link and register now. Prices are symbolic and will rise after the first flow.

When I hear about emotional (professional) burnout, I remember the old story. I don't know what is true and what is fiction. For what I bought, for that I sell!

The boy was given a chameleon by his parents. He put a red sheet of paper under it, and the chameleon immediately went into red spots of disguise. "Wow!" - said the boy and put a sheet of blue paper to the chameleon. The chameleon immediately changed its color. And this cruel childish game went on for a long time. The chameleon changed its war paint a thousand times, and then stopped changing. Tired, froze, stopped breathing and died.

Response to stress

Stressful situation- this is a situation of threat or quick, abrupt, unexpected changes for a person. Positive or negative, in this case is not so important. It is important that fast and unexpected.

stressful state is how a person reacts to a sudden change in the situation. In essence, changes in our state are simply a response to changes around us. In the heat, our body sweats, actively releasing water, and cools itself. Until the water in the body runs out. And in the cold, the whole body trembles, trying to warm up, as long as there is energy for this trembling.

There are three human responses to rapid change: hit, run, freeze. These are very ancient, archaic reactions. Perhaps primitive man invented them as soon as he began to walk on two legs.

• If the enemy is weaker, strike and secure a peaceful sky above your head and additional loot.
• If the enemy is stronger - "run, Forrest, run..." and ensure your salvation and survival.
• If you can't do either one, freeze. Some predators do not feed on carrion and do not pay attention to motionless objects. That is how you will be saved.

The rebus of our joyful and full of impressions life is that drastic changes are constantly taking place around us. The change of day and night alone is worth something! He just got out from under the blanket, just washed himself, only put his sides under the ray of the sun, and then - bam - it’s already a pitch dark night! And I won’t even talk about the change of seasons - spring, summer, autumn, winter. This is clear to everyone.

Accordingly, we are constantly adapting, constantly spending our resources, our energy on this adaptation. Even the most modern cell phone needs to be recharged from time to time. And what can we say about a man! He also needs replenishment of resources.

Situation one. If resource costs are replenished in a timely manner, then exhaustion and death do not occur. Life goes on. There is joy in life. And if not? Then it's bad. Not far from exhaustion and even illness.

Situation two. Very many of our aggressive or sexually colored actions are taboo, are under the vigilant control of the all-powerful and all-seeing Big Brother - society (starting with parents, educators and teachers). You can't fight. It is forbidden to take what you want to take right now. Crying, making noise and eating gingerbread in one person is indecent. And what about the rights of their sovereign to declare? God forbid! Good boys and girls don't do that at all. Not accepted by us. One word - culture! At first, the child learns to walk and talk, and then sit and keep quiet.

The habit of freezing, outwardly not expressing what is happening inside, can become very bad habit. Overvoltage, which has not found a way out, discharge, accumulates in the body, poisons and destroys our body, turns over time into bodily blocks and clamps. The body also spends a huge amount of energy to maintain blocks and clamps. In addition, we cease to belong to ourselves. We forget who we really are. We become a cog in a mechanism alien to us. And all this is solemnly called "work" (from the word "slavery").

And here the most important thing is to notice in time that something is wrong with you. And take action in time.

Signs of burnout

1. You rejoice at any pause in work, like a child to chocolate. “Electricity in the office turned off? What a joy! We smoke bamboo! If half of the posts on your page on social networks are filled with passionate desire, literally lust for the Friday carnival and bacchanalia, and the second half of the posts are about the funeral mood of Monday, it's time to urgently pay attention to yourself and your condition.
2. You, with a constancy worthy of a better use, with all your being you feel the meaninglessness of what is happening around. Every day is like groundhog day. Got up alive, went to work, came back dead, went to bed. Tomorrow will be a day no better than today. What am I doing here? Why do I need all this? Who benefits from this? Who needs all this? My company commander sternly looked at the formation of us soldiers, exhausted by service, and said with a sigh: "Oh, routine!"
3. Fatigue and heaviness throughout the body become almost a permanent state of yours.

Reminds me of a funny anecdote:

- Why are you so sad?
- Is it fun to carry bags of cement to the 17th floor without an elevator?
- How long have you been like this?
Tomorrow I start...

1. Even when there is an opportunity to relax, switch, go on vacation or spend a day off in the company of carefree friends, a person cannot use it to the fullest. He dreams of rest at work. And, being on vacation, he thinks about work.“I have my phone with me even in the pool, because I have a responsible job, they can call me at any minute”. And this is not a bodyguard, not a fireman, but the director of the company. Because the people around you cannot allow the thought that you belong only to yourself and rest. "Don't just sit on the toilet, think about something".
2. You notice that you are too lazy to amuse yourself, entertain yourself, you have no power for emotions. There is no strength to be angry at the stupidity of superiors or subordinates. There is no way to celebrate your birthday. The usual concert of rock music, where you used to come off to the fullest, now annoys you with its swotting, causes a feeling of drowsiness, lethargy, foggy haze before your eyes, stuffy ears and complete devastation. Indifference and unresponsiveness to emotional cues is a very worrying sign. This is an SOS signal.
3. If before you carried any flu on your feet, without days off, now the slightest increase in temperature is perceived as a catastrophe, you lie in a bed, not raising your head from the pillows, exhausting the household with the plaintive moan of a hypochondriac.
4. It's haunting you pursues irritability. All the people around you “sometimes they don’t sit like that, sometimes they whistle not like that”. As Gromozeka used to say: “I ordered four hundred drops of valerian, and here are four hundred and two”. But before that they were pleasant and helpful people in all respects. They could not all at once take and change. This means only one thing - that you are tired! And it's time to take yourself and your condition seriously.

How to help yourself: the simplest solutions

The simplest thing is to organize an event for yourself, or even better, several events that are obviously pleasant for you and definitely fill you up, recharge your batteries. Someone visits the temple, someone is looking for a place of power, someone goes out into nature with the phone turned off. Someone fills a karaoke bar with nightingale trills, someone goes to the bathhouse with friends. And for someone, just a sweet sleep or a delicious meal in a pleasant company is a great switch and adventure. Maybe you just need sleep...

The essence of the solution: knowingly pleasant pastime, by definition, does not require adaptive reactions and energy expenditure from you. On the contrary, it charges you with habitually pleasant experiences, serves as a psychological stroking to itself.

1. Let off steam. It is very important not to keep in yourself, to react, to express your tensions, your emotions. Yes, you can not shout in the face of the authorities - you can lose your job. But, as soon as the meeting is over, you need to urgently go to the nearest sports ground and give free rein to your muscles and vocal cords.

Many adult uncles do not play football in order to win or score goals. The main thing for them is to shout. They run around the field the whole game, waving their hands, shouting at the top of their lungs: “Mazila, where you hit yourself, I’m standing open right in front of the gate ...”. They run, jump - and return home or to the office tired, but satisfied.

The essence of the solution: burn through at the physiological level the adrenaline that is caused by a stressful situation, so that it does not accumulate, does not destroy the delicate balance of substances in the body. Regularity in this matter, as you yourself understand, significantly increases the usefulness of the procedure.

1. Emotional strokes. For women, a very good procedure to throw out the negativity that poisons their lives, depletes their resources, speak out and ease the soul in a safe space, is a meeting of the women's council, or simply a bachelorette party.

The action is often very, very expressive and theatrical. “Girls, can you imagine what my boss said to me yesterday?!” And then three words of text 18 exclamation marks. And in response: "What?"- and further 18 question and exclamation marks. "And that's it!" And so in a circle. In a couple of hours, they will wash the bones of all their boyfriends, bosses, subordinates, girlfriends, rivals.

No advice, no expert opinions, no solutions. Only an exchange of emotional signs of sympathy and support, or, as smart psychologists say, an exchange of psychological strokes. They will get up from the table or from the sofa, and the tension is gone. Like sand through the fingers, like water in the sand, tensions and resentments evaporated. Everything became easier.

The essence of the solution: in chronic stressful situation, in a state of exhaustion, self-esteem often suffers ( “I can’t cope!”, “I’m not competent enough!”, “I can’t help it!” etc.). Psychological strokes: attention, sympathy, sharing pain and resentment among all interlocutors, warm words of support - inspire women, restore their opinion of themselves, and they are again ready to enjoy life in all its manifestations.

But in difficult cases, of course, you need the help of a professional.

What do you face in your practice?

The man brought himself "to the point", crawled to the therapist half-bent, he can't even breathe with full breasts. And he already knows the diagnosis: “Doctor, I have a burnout!”

I offer such clients a minimum program: it is necessary to work out life situation in several important respects.

By the way, you can do it yourself. All hints are below.

1. Eliminate energy leakage.

To eliminate "vampirism" means to clear the space around oneself, to free oneself from relationships with people who “They love to eat me, but not so much”. Is it easy to do? Of course, it's not easy. But you need to take at least the first step.

Solution. To do this, you need to find a safe place where no one will distract you from the process, turn on your imagination, imagine in your mind's eye a specific person who really got you, and tell him: “Dear comrade, I came to talk. And the question is very serious, it concerns my health, happiness and success. I suspect that some of my energy is constantly going to you. I do not like it. I am categorically against it. I'm not your donor, I'm not a sponsor, and I'm not a soup kitchen. I'm just your colleague. Today I stop such exploitative relations with you, I return my energy to myself, I return yours to you, I don’t need someone else’s. If you want to communicate, let's communicate without manipulation, without use and exploitation, on a mutually beneficial basis. I don’t burn bridges, today I end bad relationships and invite you to a new relationship, to cooperation.”

1. Get rid of guilt.

The fact is that it is impossible to force a person to donate his time, effort and other resources to someone just like that. As a rule, a person begins to distribute his resources right and left under the pressure of guilt or duty. It is necessary to get to the bottom of the causes of these feelings and transform the situation.

Solution. You can firmly and decisively say to yourself: "Im free person. I am the author of my life. As I wish, I will do so. As I do, so be it. It's up to me to decide. This is my life and only my life. My energy belongs to me and only to me by birthright. I am not to blame for anyone. I do not owe anything to anyone. I won't let anyone steal my resources."

1. Get out of the wrong roles.

A daughter or son cannot replace the mother of a husband, lover, brother or sister, father or mother, unborn children. A daughter or son cannot be a container for the unprocessed negative feelings of a mother or father. A daughter or son cannot follow the goals of their parents and completely forget about their own. This is at least unnatural. This is beyond their power. But parents in childhood hang a lot of additional roles thus solving their psychological problems.

“I’m so worried that my first-born boy died in childbirth, you, daughter, will replace him in everything!”- this is the unconscious message of the mother, the daughter absorbs from a young fingernails. And the role of the dead is not a pound of raisins. This is the risk that the symptoms of burnout will haunt the girl since childhood. The dead don't jump, they don't run, they don't make noise, they don't have fun. They lie quietly.

Solution. You can imagine your parents in your mind's eye and say to them clearly and decisively: “Dear parents, father and mother, I am only your son or your daughter. I can't replace anyone else for you. I cannot solve your problems for you. I am not the Atlas that holds your sky. I need to mind my own business. I will go".

1. Get rid of imposed beliefs and suggestions.

Tips from the lips of relatives: “A little bit of good”, “We didn’t live well, so there’s nothing to start”,- only at first glance harmless. If you call yourself a pig a thousand times, you grunt. If a negative statement is uttered many times, even just in passing, it can become a belief and sit in the brain like a monolithic block.

The negative template is harmful precisely because it turns into a kind of filter that repaints the color of life in its own way. « emerald city became after all the residents were given glasses with green glasses ". In the same way, you can make your whole life hopelessly gray by simply putting a gray filter. It is very helpful to notice manifestations of such limiting filter-beliefs and return them to where they came from.

Solution. You can remember from whom you first heard a negative phrase, and return what you heard back. “Dear grandfather, today I return to you your conviction and your saying “a little bit of good”. It's only yours. You are entitled to your opinion and your lifestyle. I respect your choice. And I myself will live my life and follow my convictions. My new belief: “Every day I accept all the gifts of the universe with joy and gratitude. Every day I use more and more various resources for my own benefit. Every day the effectiveness of my actions is growing. Every day my results are getting better and better. Every day I increase my ability to enjoy and enjoy life.. It's my choice. This is my life. As I wish, I will do so. As I do, so shall it be."

1. Formulate and test your personal goals and plans.

Among other things, it is very important for self-help in a situation of burnout to clearly clarify your goals, plans and priorities. They set the vector of motion. They concentrate forces. They don't let interference get in. They discipline themselves and those around them.

And setting goals and setting priorities starts with simple self-observation. Do I like what I am doing now? Do I want to be where I am now? Am I ready to continue communication with this person, does it weigh me down or fill me up?

In fact, the formulated goal consists of several important elements:

1. What I I do not like in my life now (here it is important to get angry in a good way).
2. What exactly i want to reach in the near future (specifics are very appropriate here).
3. Trajectory between them (a list of cases and actions tied to deadlines is very appropriate here).

The essence of the solution: when you have clear and conscious goals and priorities in your life, it is very easy for you to say no to everything superfluous, to everything that distracts you from the main thing. Professor Preobrazhensky from Bulgakov's "Heart of a Dog" gave an excellent example of rebuffing parasites and freeloaders:

- I want to suggest you, - here the woman pulled out several magazines bright and wet from the snow from her bosom, - to take a few magazines in favor of the children of Germany. A fifty piece.

"No, I won't," answered Philipp Philippovich curtly, glancing sideways at the magazines.

Complete astonishment was expressed on the faces, and the woman was covered with a cranberry coating.

- Why do you refuse?

- I do not want.

- You do not sympathize with the children of Germany?

- I sympathize.

- Do you regret fifty dollars?

- Not.

- So why not?

- I do not want.

The professor just knew exactly what his priorities were. He knew and told us to know. For a better life. Easy, beautiful, healthy, happy, rich life!