Tell the guy you're not. How to tell a guy that I don't like him

At first, someone may like the very fact of such a strong attachment, but in the end there comes a moment when it is simply necessary to make it clear to a man that he cannot count on reciprocity. And I want to do it gently and correctly, so as not to inadvertently offend a person and not cause him too much pain.

How to let a man know that you don't need him? The most obvious answer is to honestly and directly tell the man about your attitude towards him. True, this is far from being as easy to do as it seems from the outside. You need to talk face to face, start with the good things that you like about him and smoothly bring him to the idea that you are not planning to communicate closely with someone in the near future. It is quite possible that it will be difficult for a man to understand. Maybe he will be even more confident that he has met his fate and will "storm the fortress" with redoubled energy.

It is necessary to make a man understand about his indifference not only with words, but also with non-verbal hints. An absent look at a meeting, inattention during a conversation, indifference to the topic of conversation, switching attention to other people must necessarily reinforce your behavior. If you decide not to give too much reason to communicate, be persistent to the end.

Try not to laugh at jokes, not to flirt, maybe not even smile or nod your head in interest. Do not instill hope in a person out of pity. So you just make it even more difficult.

Try to introduce him to your single girlfriend, maybe the man will switch his attention to a more "friendly object". Help them find common ground, set them up in a friendly way and quietly leave them alone.

Ask one of your friends with a solid appearance to talk to him like a man.

If constant excuses do not help, and you become afraid, to be under constant persecution, you need to act more subtle and cunning. Think about what in your gestures, facial expressions, speech can repel, cause irritation or even disgust. Insert inappropriate remarks into the conversation, interrupt, call him at three in the morning, behave extravagantly in the presence of his mother or people who influence him, appear in front of him in an unsightly way.

Try not to wear too revealing clothes for a while, not to build breathtaking hairstyles. Help him lose interest in you. Maybe you should pretend that you have some disgusting habits. Finally, ask him for a loan. Let him run away from you!

Feeling that the young man begins to cool down towards you, try to chase him a little. The human psyche is arranged in such a way that people often run after those who need to be achieved, and as soon as they get the desired result, their interest fades.

Think less about how to make it clear to a man that he is not needed, and act more. Do not sit out "in the village with your grandmother", show your ingenuity. After all, millions of volumes have been written about how to win sympathy and love, and it is very easy to destroy this fragile feeling.

Relations between a guy and a girl are always built according to a rather individual pattern. On the initial stage When the lovers know each other well enough, it can be quite difficult to switch to intimate relationships for various reasons. Despite the fact that today's youth consider sex an integral part of love relationships, some couples just don't know how to do it.

In the case when the initiative comes from a woman due to the fact that the guy, by virtue of his nature, is shy and does not dare to take the first step, the girl may have a natural question, how to tell the guy that I want him? At first glance, such a question may seem ridiculous, but the complexity of an intimate nature can be the main reason for the breakup of a couple in love.

How to tell a guy that I want him

The question of an intimate nature may arise after the third date. Due to indecision, a guy can pretend for a long time that he does not understand the hints of his beloved, or really not notice them. Forcing events, in order for the guy to mature for decisive action, in this case is not the best way. It would be most correct to show restraint and, with the help of female seduction and cunning, push the beloved to intimacy.

In order to properly approach the solution of this situation, a woman will need to take a number of steps:

• The girl should carefully examine her partner. Getting to know his friends will help to get a more complete picture of the character and habits of a loved one.
• Once the information is received, it must be well systematized and used with the utmost care. Sudden changes in a woman's behavior can shock a man, leading to the opposite result.
• After the girl understands which female image is most attractive to her partner, you can use this to your advantage. An intriguing change in the behavior of a loved one will certainly contribute to the fact that a long-awaited spark of passion will appear in a man and he will finally understand the girl’s desire to “be only with you.”
• At the fourth stage, the girl must make it clear to the indecisive guy that intimacy is a very important period of love relationships. Realizing this, the guy will inevitably give up and take the initiative himself.

Perhaps from the outside, such actions may seem rather complicated and protracted. It's much easier to meet your boyfriend in a pleasant environment and talk to him about your intentions. However, such actions do not always lead to the expected result. Therefore, so that the guy does not think that his beloved has a too unleashed demeanor, it would be most correct to do everything gradually.

Ways of showing female interest

In order for the hints sent to reach their goal, it is necessary to choose a suitable place and time. Pleasant music, twilight and the absence of outsiders will help the partner respond correctly to the actions of his beloved.

A woman can hint about her readiness for intimacy in various ways:

• A girl can tell about her desire with her eyes. It is unlikely that an alluring and full of passion look will leave a man indifferent. However, you should not obsessively drill and hypnotize your partner with your eyes. Such behavior can cause more embarrassment, as a result of which the goal will not be achieved. During eye contact, the girl must mentally say the phrase "look at me, I want you."
• You can show your desire through flirting. A girl in the form of an affectionate and gentle cat has every chance to count on reciprocity. You can also enhance the impression with pleasant complements. Men don't fewer women They love to hear nice words addressed to them.
• You can influence a guy with the help of voice and certain poses. In a conversation with a loved one, it is advisable not to move to high notes. A pleasant word, whispered in your ear, has a certain effect. Strengthen the sent hint that you want it, you can flirtatious behavior. For example, during a conversation, play with a pendant in the neckline or, as it were, accidentally touch his hand. In a conversation, you can sit closer to him and, at every opportunity, stroke your loved one on the shoulder or remove invisible dust particles from his clothes.
• When deciding how to let a man know about his desire, you can use the tactic of hinting. For example, offer to spend a joint evening and at the same time hint that there will be no one else besides you. You can just ask the guy what he would do if he was offered to spend the night with a nice girl.

In order to achieve a certain effect, you need to hint at intimacy very carefully. A man must make sure that he correctly understood that he wants a lady. Too intrusive seduction can frighten an indecisive partner and you have to start all over again.

If the hint is not understood

If it seems to a girl that her lover does not respond to her hints, then you can proceed to decisive action and talk about your desire directly. Perhaps her beloved has long understood what the other half wants from him, but due to his nature he cannot decide to take a serious step. On the other hand, there are cases when a guy simply does not like a girl and he keeps a certain distance in order not to offend her. A frank conversation is just such an opportunity to find out if the sympathy is mutual.

If, after watching the guy, the girl realized that their feelings are mutual, then you need to inform your beloved about your intentions in the most suitable environment. For example, you can start an intimate conversation in a car, on a walk or in a cozy cafe.

Virtual correspondence

It is much easier to talk about your feelings and desires by correspondence. You can write to a guy about intimacy not directly, but between the lines. Unobtrusively, with the help of flirting, you need to bring your lover to a discussion of a frank topic, making it clear that the time has come for a closer relationship. The question of how to write to a man about his secret desire is quite difficult for many women. Not every girl is ready to take on the role of the initiator sexual relations. Therefore, when conducting frank correspondence, you need to make sure that it is the man who takes the first step.

Due to the fact that a significant part modern youth spends a lot of time on social networks, a girl can arouse desire in a guy with a candid photo. This rather bold method is very effective. The sent image is the best way to convey the desire of a woman without words.

Many girls are completely unable to refuse men, and such behavior often leads to undesirable consequences. Either the girl is afraid to refuse and agrees, endures what she does not want, or refuses completely wrong, hurting the guy. How can you tell him "no" so that he does not continue to seek you, and at the same time not offend him? Consider several situations and choose the best option for each of them.

A stranger came up on the street

Yes, those romantics who have the courage to approach the girl they like on the street and talk to her have not yet died out. Remember that such behavior for a guy is tantamount to a feat, so any anger or rudeness on your part can hurt him greatly. How do you say "no" to a guy who comes up to you on the street to meet you? Stop, listen to him, don't interrupt. Do not allow yourself to look at him contemptuously, grin or be rude. Smile sweetly at him and say something like this: “You are very cute, but I don’t meet on the street”, “It’s nice that you decided to meet me, but I’m in a hurry and it’s time for me to run!”. It is important to say this with a kind smile and a friendly tone, but in such a way that he understands that this is a refusal. If the guy starts begging for a phone number, you can just shake your head cutely, they say, “I won’t give it,” and run away about your business. By making a compliment, you soften your refusal, and this is good, because after you the guy will not hold a grudge for the whole feminine and will continue to look for his girlfriend.

If you like a stranger, but you really need to hurry on business, say something like this: "I would like to get to know each other better, but I have urgent business right now. Let's meet in the evening?" After that, exchange phone numbers, and you can run away about your business.

A friend or old acquaintance wants to date

It happens that an old friend suddenly, for no reason at all, begins to show certain signs of attention, trying to transfer the relationship to new level. Most likely, he knows you well as a person, for a long time he evaluated and thought about whether you are suitable for him or not, and finally decided to start conquering you. In the end, he approached you, confessed his feelings and offered to be his girlfriend. You don't want it, how can you tell him no?

Here, too, you need to act gently, because the guy is very worried and must have been preparing for this moment for a long time. You can build your speech something like this: “I am very pleased with your proposal, you are sweet and kind, you are dear to me, but I am used to treating you as a friend. I really don’t want to lose you and hurt you, but I want you to understand that we can't be a couple." You need to speak in a quiet voice, looking into your eyes and smiling softly. Of course, he will be upset, but your speech, structured in this way, will show him that you care about his feelings, that you do not give a damn. Over time, the pain will pass, he will realize and understand everything, and you will be able to communicate as before.

If a man wants sex

How to say "no" to a man who wants sex? It also depends on the situation, different variants. So, for example, if a guy whom you consider a friend suddenly wants sex with you, then you can act according to a scheme similar to the previous paragraph. You need to gently make it clear to the guy that you consider him a friend, but no more, and you will have sex exclusively with your lover.

If the guy with whom you are in a relationship wants sex, but is not yet ready to move on to intimacy, then you need to show him that you do not mind, but you still need time. For example, it can be expressed something like this: "Honey, I want this with you and I want our first time to be unforgettable, so that nothing gets in the way. But now I'm not ready for this yet, I need a little more time. I ask you to wait ". If you and your boyfriend have been in a relationship for a long time, and sex is already a matter of course, but at the moment you don’t want it, then you also need to refuse gently. A man is very offended by the refusal to have sex on the part of his girlfriend, so you can’t refuse anyhow. Say something like this: "Darling, you are the best for me, but now I am very busy (a little tired, I do not feel very well, etc.), I need (further indicate what exactly is needed: rest, urgently finish important work etc.). Then back up your words with actions - take the initiative first.

Unfortunately, in our time, cases are not ruled out when all sorts of boors stick on the street and right in the forehead they offer to have sex with them. Of course, such behavior is outrageous and insulting. How to say "no" to such a man so that he falls behind you? You can just leave his question unanswered, as if you didn’t notice anything, and get away from sin as soon as possible. If a man is very clingy and arrogant, then you can put him in his place. In this case, be firm and tough, you can add anger and a strong word to make it disrespectful. Perhaps you will be able to rein in and shame such a man, so that later he would think before turning to unfamiliar girls with such requests. If a man is already starting to dissolve his hands, then you can call for help, hit him or use a stun gun or a gas cartridge. He violated your personal space against your will, it is not clear what his behavior will lead to, so you have full right defend. But of course, it is better to stay as far away from such men as possible, and in case of meeting with them, quickly take your feet.

Let's sum up all of the above. How can he say "no"? If we consider the situation as a whole, without touching on the topic of maniacs, then the guy should be refused gently and tactfully. Such conversations are conducted face to face. Remember that the guy chose you and, perhaps, prepared for a conversation for a long time. Respect his feelings, understand him and learn to refuse correctly.

If a young man shows interest in you, and you cannot reciprocate, you are in enough difficult situation. On the one hand, you do not want to deceive the young man, and on the other hand, you do not want to hurt him. The best way to solve the problem is to talk to him about it. During the conversation, you should be honest with him about your feelings.

Steps

Part 1

Preparing for a conversation

Determine if the young man really likes you. If you are not completely sure that the young man has tender feelings for you, take your time. If it seems to you that a young man is in love with you or other people are talking about it, you should not jump to conclusions. Otherwise, you may destroy valuable friendships with him. First, make sure that the young man feels sympathy for you, and only then take the appropriate steps. There are a number of signs that will help you determine if a young man is really in love with you:

• he constantly invites you on a date;
• he is looking for opportunities to touch you or have physical contact with you;
• he insists on talking to you alone.

1. Don't delay. The longer you wait, the worse the consequences will be. The feelings of the young man will become stronger, and after you tell him the truth, you are unlikely to be able to maintain friendly relations with him.

   Don't try to avoid the young person all the time. Perhaps you think that by avoiding a young man, you hint to him that he is not interested in you. It is unlikely that he will respond to your attempts. You need to take the time to talk to him. Choose a time when you will be alone, and no one will distract you.

   Make a plan. Write down what you are going to say to the young person. If you stutter and get confused, your conversation will be long and difficult. Both of you will feel awkward. Write down the main reasons why you cannot reciprocate the young man. Choose your words carefully. Do not give reasons that might hurt the person's feelings, such as mentioning that they are being rude. Just write honestly why you don't see yourself around this person Possible reasons:.

   • you cannot forget your ex boyfriend;
   • you do not like his appearance;
   • you like someone else.

2. Talk to him on the phone. You can even communicate your decision by phone or text message. Your task is to finish the job. A young man, after talking with you, should understand that he has no chance of building a relationship with you.

   Be nice. Talk about your feelings in a polite way. Praise the young person for something, but tell him that this is not enough. For example, say:

   • "You're a good friend, but we can't be together."
   • "You will surely meet a girl whom you will be able to make happy, but it will not be me."

3. Put a final point. Even after you state all the reasons, there is a chance that the young man will not fully understand what you mean. Therefore, having stated the reasons why you cannot reciprocate the young man, put a final point by saying that he cannot count on anything more than friendship. Say something like:

   • "You and I can't have a romantic relationship."
   • "We can be friends if you don't mind being friendly with me."
   • "There is no 'chemistry' between us."

4. Reassure the young man that your attitude towards him will not change. If you do not tell him directly that your feelings for him will not change, he will cherish hope. Do your best to make the young man understand that your attitude towards him will not change in the future. What are the ground rules for your friendship (if any).

   Be honest with him. Let him ask a few questions if he has any and answer them honestly. There is no point in trying to protect a young man's feelings with deceit - tell him the truth. This will help him deal with his feelings faster.

   Be ready to listen. Of course, preparing for a conversation can help you, but if you have been scrolling through the upcoming conversation in your head, most likely you have your own idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat it should be like. Instead of speaking your mind, sit across from the guy and listen carefully. Thanks to this, he will also listen carefully to you.

   End the conversation in the right way. To make sure the young man understands you, ask him at the end of the conversation what he thinks about all this. Stick to your position and do not end the conversation until you see that the young man understands that you do not like him. Speak clearly and clearly about your feelings.

Part 3

After the conversation

Be polite. After the words that you do not feel sympathy for the young man, you should not be rude to him. Do not think of him as a weak and depressed person after you told him about your lack of feelings. He will be able to survive this, so just treat him like a person. You shouldn't ignore it.

Give him personal space. Live your life and don't interfere with it. If you run into a young man, be friendly, but don't go beyond that. Rejection is always associated with pain - if you constantly remind a person of the absence of feelings, the pain will surface again and again. This can eventually lead to self-esteem issues, anger, or even aggression. You probably do not want to take on such a burden.

"He is so cool! I'm crazy about him! He is the best guy in the world!” - something like this every time you think when you meet a young man for whom you feel sympathy. In your thoughts you are already his girlfriend, you spend all your free time together, go to the cinema and clubs, walk around the city. But what is it really? In fact, he is in no hurry to make an appointment. And now comes the moment when you decide to confess your feelings, but you have absolutely no idea how to tell the guy that you like him.

Maybe just walk up to him, pat him on the shoulder and say, "Hey, I like you"? What if he laughs in your face? What if you leave a message on his Facebook page? What if he thinks you're joking? Ask a friend to tell him that you care about him? Well, no, in such cases the third one is superfluous. How to be? In our article, we will give some practical advice especially for modest women who cannot find the right words to confess their sympathy to a young man, and are desperately embarrassed to take the first step.

Love does not love…

First, find out how the guy treats you. Guessing on a camomile ("loves, does not love, spit, kiss, send to hell, press to the heart"), of course, is easier, but is fraught with unexpected results. So try to find out this question in other ways. Well, if you have one social circle: then it will be much easier to do this.

First, try to be closer to him. If a guy is interested in you, he won't mind letting you into his personal space. Psychologists believe that our comfort zone is the distance to which we “let” the closest people to us: parents, relatives, friends, as well as those to whom we are not indifferent. It draws a circle with a radius of approximately fifty centimeters. The second zone is neutral (from half a meter to one and a half meters). At this distance, we keep from work colleagues, classmates, etc. The third zone is social, it is intended for strangers or people unpleasant to us. From them we try to stay literally away - at a distance of one and a half to four meters. Thus, if the guy is not against the fact that you often try to "close the distance" between you, you have a chance to win!

Second, pay attention to body language. If during the conversation the guy does not accept closed positions(does not cross his arms on his chest, does not stand half-turned towards you, and so on), does not try to put any barrier between you (for example, put a book), looks into your eyes, smiles, which means that he does not mind communicating with you . Then it will be easier for you to confess to him tender feelings.

It is important not to go to extremes here: it is not at all necessary to constantly catch his eye, try to take him by the arm or carry a tape measure with you and carefully measure the distance between you. Such strange behavior can quickly scare him away, and then he will begin to avoid meeting you.

How to say what you feel

If you understand that a young man appreciates your attention, take the initiative in your own hands and move on to the main thing. Choose the right time to confess. Both of you should be in good mood, because otherwise he simply will not want to listen to you, and you will rashly say too much. You shouldn't be in a hurry. Confess your sympathy if a guy is in a hurry to workout in the pool, and you are late for evening courses in English language, is not the best option.

In addition, it is better if there are no strangers next to you during this important conversation. Of course, the presence of girlfriends can give you courage and self-confidence. But who knows, what if he decides that you decided to play him? And if his friends are nearby, he may be confused and react to your confession not the way you want - simply because he decides that they will make fun or mock him.

Smile! This will help you relax and create a positive attitude in the conversation. Look into his eyes and you will be less nervous. Prepare psychologically in advance for the fact that he may not return your feelings (although we, of course, want you to feel mutual sympathy for each other). You can practice in front of a mirror. Say the phrase "I really like you" several times in order to find the right intonation. So you will get used to it, to the way it sounds, and you will feel much more confident.

To start a conversation, you can choose a neutral topic, for example, ask him about his plans for the weekend or ask how the swimming competition in which he participated was. Keep in mind that questions should be formulated in such a way that they cannot be answered simply with “yes” or “no”. The young man's response should create a "bridge" to your confession. Design in advance possible options development of the conversation, depending on what the guy answers your question.

For example:

• You: What do you do on the weekend?
• Him: Nothing special. Not decided yet. Why are you asking?
• You: Masha called me on Saturday for her birthday. She said that I can come with a young man. I really like you, and I decided to invite you.

• You: How is the competition?
• He: Not really, to be honest. He took only third place.
• You: Don't worry, I still really like you.

Of course, there is a chance that the guy will not take your confession seriously. This can happen because of how you say the phrase “I really like you”: hastily, as if by the way, demonstrating that you yourself do not attach any importance to it. Or, perhaps, he will be confused by surprise, will not figure out how to react, and will simply pretend that he did not hear anything. Therefore, pronounce your confession, pronouncing the words clearly and clearly. If necessary, you will have to admit again: “I really really like you.” This is where your rehearsals in front of the mirror come in handy.

If he is still in no hurry to react to what you said, you can gently push him to answer: “You know, this is the first time I confess to a young man in sympathy and I’m a little nervous because I don’t know if you like me.” This will be enough to bring him out of his confusion.

It's great if a guy confesses to you in return feelings. Of course, you will be in seventh heaven with happiness. Just don't pounce on him with kisses and don't hug him. Just smile and ask him out. If he says that he does not have any feelings for you, except for friendship, do not make a tragedy out of this, do not cry and do not beg him to explain why he cannot return your sympathy. You already have something to be proud of - you are a courageous and determined girl. Say, “It was hard for me to confess my feelings for you, but I just wanted you to know. We're friends, right?"

Perhaps the young man will ask for a time out to sort out his feelings for you. This can also be, because he did not expect you to admit that you care about him. Give him time to think, and agree to return to this conversation in a couple of days.

How to text him that you like him

This is an option for the most shy and shy girls who do not dare to confess to a guy in a face-to-face conversation. If you have his ICQ number or you are on his VKontakte friends list, you can write him a private message. This way of communicating is very similar to the conversation we talked about above, so you can just use the same prompts. The disadvantage of this option (and, in our opinion, a very serious one) is the lack of eye contact. Seeing the eyes of the person to whom you confess your sympathy is very important - they will tell you how he feels about your words, and whether he is ready to take your friendships to another level.

Some prudes choose to play the “mysterious stranger”: they write a note to the young man in which they confess their feelings, and they themselves make an appointment. Such a note does not need to be signed: an intrigued guy will come to a meeting to find out who the author of the message is.

There is a wonderful film "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in the lead roles. The characters meet by chance social network, and a correspondence begins between them. They write to each other about everything in the world: about the books they read, about the city they live in, about evening walks with the dog and much, much more. Not even knowing each other's names, they begin to feel mutual sympathy, which they do not dare to admit. They are familiar in real life but are unaware of it. The situation is resolved precisely after the young man appoints a date for the girl in a letter. This scenario is suitable for young people with a romantic streak.

Taking the first step and confessing tender feelings to a guy is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. It is much more difficult to live in a vicious circle of constant anxieties, hopes and doubts. It is impossible day and night to guess how he feels about you, or ask the same question over and over again on the forums: “Tell me, how to understand whether he likes me or not?”. By hiding your feelings, you may be giving up the happy moments of your life that you could spend next to the person you like. It is better to confess first than to regret your indecision later. It's up to you to decide what to do. And if you have already made a decision - act!

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