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The time has come for the third article, and, this time, it will focus on a previously raised topic - the rules for shaking hands with men. we have already talked about the existence of three various kinds handshakes and their interpretation, but today we will dwell on this issue in more detail. Let's get started!

If you are sociable enough or due to the specifics of the work you meet during the day a large number of people, then you probably have to shake hands often when answering greetings. Perhaps, in a circle of friends, a handshake acquires more “meaningfulness”, especially if you are really glad to meet this or that person, but, most often, this ritual is perceived as an ordinary formality that must be performed. Behind all this veil of everyday life, consisting of a huge number of conventions, it is very difficult not only to analyze the greetings of other people, but also simply to understand why, in fact, this utterly familiar ritual is performed. What exactly is a handshake? When is it appropriate to give a hand in greeting, and when not? How to determine by a handshake what kind of person is in front of you? Today we will try to understand each of these issues.

History of the handshake

Few people know, but the handshake is a rather ancient gesture. We will not delve into history, but, for example, this ritual is evidenced in a bas-relief depicting how the Babylonian king Marduk-zakir-shumi I shakes hands with the Assyrian king Shalmananasar III. This episode took place in 855 BC. Impressive number, isn't it? There is also a version, probably the most romantic and beautiful, that this gesture found its popularity during the Middle Ages at knightly tournaments. Despite the large number of hypotheses, the meaning of the handshake at all times remained the same - to show the absence of a weapon in the right hand and, as a result, to demonstrate good intentions. Agree, it is more pleasant to shake hands with your boss or acquaintance, presenting yourself as a noble knight, than to do it without any reflection.

The knights' handshake is a gesture of respect in knightly tournaments.

Speaking about the history of handshakes in Russia, it is worth noting that it wore sacred meaning transmission of the biorhythm, since during the contact of the wrists, the pulse also connects. It was customary to shake hands exclusively with friends, while when greeting other people, it was enough to raise your hat. This is where the expression "hat acquaintance" came from.

Etiquette and handshake rules

Although the history of the handshake may have a militant origin, at present it is primarily a greeting, and, like any greeting, it must follow the rules of etiquette.

There are several simple rules to be followed by any self-respecting gentleman:

• For a handshake always offered right hand(this also applies to left-handers). The free hand, however, should not be in the pocket.
• When offering a hand for greeting, one should not keep it relaxed, just as one should not squeeze the palm of another person too hard. The handshake should be calm, strong (not to be confused with strong) and short.
• If you are introduced to another person, he should be the first to extend his hand.
• In the case of a meeting with a woman, whether there will be a handshake or not, she decides. Etiquette requires a woman to give her hand first. When meeting people of different ages, the initiative of the first move belongs to the one who is older. If the opponent decides to get by with a bow, nod, or other gesture, you should not insist on a handshake, as your hand may simply hang in the air without an answer, and you will find yourself in an unpleasant situation.
• If you met with a group of people, among whom your acquaintance is present, etiquette obliges you to shake hands with everyone present.
• Etiquette dictates that men take off their gloves before greeting. This rule has exceptions, for example, in winter time of the year. Both hands involved in the ritual must be either gloved or ungloved. If your friend has taken off his glove, you will have to follow suit.
• Leaving small company, it will be appropriate to shake hands with each of those present. If there are many people gathered, an oral farewell will suffice.

Sign language. Palms

We turn to our main issue, namely, to sign language. Speaking about the handshake, one cannot fail to mention the palms, after all, it is the palms that participate in this ritual.

Interesting fact. At all times, an open palm has been associated with honesty and sincerity. That is why oaths are taken with the palm on the heart, and abroad, while giving evidence in court, the Bible is held in the left hand, and the right is raised up so that it is visible to the members of the court. These traditions are not without foundation, since the position of the palms can really make it clear about the intentions of a person.

The easiest way to understand whether the recipient is sincere with you is to watch his palms. When people are frank, they hold out one or two palms while saying something like: "I'll be honest with you!" When the recipient is sufficiently frank, he fully or partially opens his palms. Like many gestures, this movement is completely unconscious.

• When children lie, they hide their palms behind their backs.
• If the wife wants to hide where she has been all night, she will hide her hands in her pockets or keep them crossed during explanations.

It begs a legitimate question. If I lie, but keep my palms in plain sight, will they believe me? An unambiguous answer cannot be given. There are many other gestures that accompany lying. If they are noticeable, they will allow you to doubt your sincerity. On the contrary, if they are not noticeable, then, most likely, other gestures symbolizing your sincerity will also not be noticeable. We will not delve into this topic, since the purpose of this article is to interpret gestures, and not to teach others to lie. Instead, here's enough helpful advice. In order to increase the confidence of other people, make it a habit to keep your palms open during a conversation. This will encourage your interlocutors to be more open and trusting with you. In addition, this will reduce the amount of untruth both in your speech and in the speech of the interlocutors, since most people cannot lie when their palms are open.

One of the most significant and subtle non-verbal signals is the signal transmitted by the human palm. At correct use it gives people a greater level of authority, and also, in some cases, gives them the ability to command others.

There are three types of command gestures. Let's take a look at a specific example. It is necessary to ask, for example, a colleague at work to pick up a box from the floor and put it on a cabinet, using the same words, tone of voice and facial expression. Only the position of the palm will change.

1. The position of the open palm is up. Does not carry any threatening context. Seeing such a gesture, a person will not feel any pressure on your part and will perceive all this as an ordinary request.
2. Open palm down position. This gesture carries a connotation of authority. With some probability, it can cause hostility, since a person can perceive this situation as an order. If your colleague is of equal standing with you, the request may not be fulfilled.
3. "Pointing finger" Associated with compulsion to submission. It is one of the most annoying gestures in the dialogue process. If you actively use this gesture, then try to replace it with the previous two gestures. This will help you achieve great success in communicating with others.

Sign language. Handshake

In one of the previous articles, we have already considered the types of handshake. Depending on the position of the palms, it can mean superiority, humility and equality. Let's take an example to refresh our memories.

You have met a certain person for the first time, and you greet each other with the usual handshake. Depending on the position of your recipient's palm, it can mean the following:

1. Palm pointing down - "This guy is trying to put pressure on me, you should be more careful."
2. Palm pointing up - "Perhaps I can put pressure on this person, it is worth considering this fact."
3. Palms parallel to each other - “This guy definitely makes me sympathetic. We'll get along."

This information is transmitted unconsciously, after a series of trainings, you can accustom yourself to use this or that handshake to have the desired effect on others.

It should be noted that there are exceptions to the rules. For example, people suffering from arthritis are forced to respond with a weak handshake. Also, a sluggish handshake is typical for a number of professions, for example, surgeons and musicians.

To determine exactly what kind of person is in front of you, watch his subsequent actions. A compliant person, in the future, will demonstrate other gestures that characterize him as a submissive recipient, and an imperious person will show his aggressiveness. If two powerful people greet each other, a symbolic struggle takes place between them, during which everyone tries to subjugate the opponent's hand. Often this wrestling results in an equal handshake in which both hands remain vertical and both people develop a sense of mutual respect. It is this handshake that the father teaches his son when he asks him to say hello, “like a man.”

If you are shaking hands with a powerful person, it is very difficult to persuade him to shake hands equally, and even more difficult to do it in the least noticeable way. We have already considered one of the ways to return the initiative to our own hands, but now it is time to give a different method of disarming such people. It will allow not only to take control of the situation, but also to puzzle the recipient with an intrusion into the personal zone.

To learn this technique, you need to practice the following movements:

• Movement one. When you take the hand of the powerful person, take a step forward with your left foot. I recommend that you always lean forward for a handshake with your left foot, even if you do not use the technique described. This will give you some wiggle room and allow you to neutralize the dominant handshake if needed.
• Movement two. Move your right foot forward and stand in front of the recipient on the left, moving into his personal area.
• Movement three. Place your left foot behind your right and shake your partner's hand.

This technique allows you to bring the opponent's palm to a different position, as well as become the master of the situation, since you violated intimate area your partner.

Other types of handshakes

Finally

Well, in this article we briefly, but as informatively as possible, figured out the types of handshakes, and also figured out a few elementary rules of etiquette. As we found out, a handshake can make it clear what kind of person is in front of us, and, as they say, who owns the information, he owns the situation.

Take care of your time and all the best to you!

What does the handshake say? Some attach too little importance to the handshake: they perform it somehow, without looking into the eyes and without enthusiasm.

And then they wonder why completely different guys turn out to be the favorites of the authorities, and it’s impossible to become the soul of the company.

As the scientists found out, half the success of the planned business depends on the correct contact of hands and accompanying gestures.

This tradition exists in many countries, however, each nation brings its own unique features and "chips". What is the custom of the African Maasai to spit on their hands with relish before touching!

Muslims, after shaking hands, bring their hand to the very heart, and the Arabians kiss on both cheeks. And only the Japanese will be offended by an outstretched hand in hope: it is customary for them to bow without invading personal space.

The fact is that force,with which you shake hands and energy,which you are passing, can tell you a lot about your character partner.

So, the tighter a man squeezes his hand, the stronger, it turns out, his sexual activity. Generally, grip strength will say a lot about your health: the more newtons, less likely to die soon, stroke or heart attack.

It may seem to you that you yourself decide how to shake someone else's hand. But heredity has already decided everything for you!

Turns out, children and grandchildren shake hands in the same way, like fathers and grandfathers. These are all genetic traits. The stronger the squeeze, the better your genes.

In addition, this gesture is influenced by character (introvert or extrovert), physical training, upbringing, and even ... nutrition.

How do business relationships start?

Of course, with a handshake. Sluggish or cheerful, sincere or indifferent, bright or mean.

What does a partner's handshake say? Look at how they give you a hand: palm down, up, or strictly vertically, with an edge?

With a vertical layout a person subconsciously hopes for equal fruitful cooperation.

But giving a hand "shirt up", as if "paternally" covering yours, he strives for leadership. Such a person will want to subjugate you, he is clearly aiming for leadership.

If a man gives his hand palm up(as if asking for alms), he hints that he is ready to obey your instructions.

Maybe this is a modest, driven nature, or a person who is used to flattering, fawning and hiding behind someone else's back.

Formula for success

Of great importance are the look, smile and other gestures of a person standing on the opposite side.

One scientist (his name is Geoffrey Beatty) put forward theory of the perfect handshake. If you want to make the right impression, study it carefully and practice in front of a mirror.

So, first meet the "opponent" with your eyes. This is followed by a lively greeting and a sincere smile. Only after that, vigorously reach out and firmly squeeze the palm of your partner.

Break the handshake after two, maximum three seconds. Everyone wants to get rid of too long hand shaking as soon as possible.

If your palm is sticky and wet, your handshake is sluggish and lifeless, and your eyes look to the side, you are unlikely to seem confident and reliable person to the interlocutor.

Incidentally, it has been observed that introverted natures always greet sluggishly. They are self-absorbed and pay little attention to worldly customs. Therefore, they are not known in the eyes of others as successful and active people.

However, Turks, Pakistanis, Africans and residents of the Middle East would really like them: it is not customary to tightly squeeze someone else's hand there.

Little tricks of big people

You have probably noticed that some strangers fascinate you from the very first minute. Somehow, they immediately dispose to themselves and after an hour they become best friends.

Pay attention to non-verbal gestures with which your acquaintance began. Very often people, versed in psychology and eager to become pleasant conversationalists,use some tricks.

In addition to smiling and making eye contact, they may grab your hand with both hands, squeeze it, or shake it slightly when shaking hands. Or, squeezing your hand with theirs, they will hug you with another, pull you to them and pat on the shoulder.

All these skin-to-skin contacts are recorded on a subconscious level as manifestations of friendly feelings. Shake the hand - and already do not have a soul in the interlocutor!

In ancient times, people showed their open palms to oncoming people to show their benevolent attitude. This meant that they were empty and contained no weapons or other dangerous items. Similarly, the tradition of clinking glasses arose.

If now touching the glass is light and rather symbolic, then earlier force was applied to this process, and the wine could overflow from one glass to another. Thus, the guests were warned that their drink could be poisoned, because if so, the host of the celebration himself would suffer. But back to handshakes, now this gesture has the same meaning as in ancient times, except that it has changed from showing open palms to physical touch with the hands.

What is the non-verbal meaning of a handshake?

There are three main types of handshake, in which it becomes clear who is in what position in the meeting, who is ready to make concessions, and who is determined. And you can learn about all this just by looking at your palm and the palm of your partner during a handshake. But first things first.

Dominant handshake

Pay attention to where your palm is pointing. If it is parallel to the floor, or more simply, lies on top of the palm of your colleague, then you are the master of the situation. In this way, you show that you want to lead the negotiations and the last word right behind you. But it can also serve as a signal to your colleague (if he, of course, knows about such details of non-verbalism) that you are a dangerous player and it is quite advisable to keep you at a distance.

Equal handshake

The approximate equality of partners is indicated by palms in a vertical position relative to one another. Synonyms for such a handshake are equality, mutual respect. This type is most often encountered, because on the one hand, people show their reciprocity, and on the other hand, it is possible to hide true powerful intentions under the guise of innocent mutual equality.

submissive handshake

In this case, too, everything is clear. The essence is the same as in the dominant type, only now it is your palm that is directed upwards towards the palm of a friend or partner. If there is a winner, then there is a loser; if there is a dominant one, then there is a subordinate. Have you guessed what role is assigned to the one who holds out his hand with his palm up? It is clear that this person feels insecure and is ready to give up the palm.

What if a person intentionally uses a dominant handshake?

Yes, really big bosses are used to using this type and automatically extend their hand palm down. What do you do if there is no desire to become a "victim"?

There is one simple technique, but it will not hurt to rehearse it with friends in advance, because improvisation may not meet the expectations. When you are served, take a step forward with your left foot as you serve yours.

Then move your right leg. Your goal is the position to the left of the partner. Consequently, you get the opportunity to align the colleague's hand and greet him equally. Usually people take a step forward when shaking hands with their right foot, leaving no room for themselves to “correct” the situation. Get the whole point this method only possible in practice.

Who should lend a hand first?

A handshake in business is the only kind of greeting with a physical touch. The position of the person matters the most. The senior in authority decides whether to extend a hand to him or not. If there are persons of the same position, the eldest in age will be the first to give a hand. You can not greet across the table or by crossing your arms with other people who also shake hands. Wait your turn.

As for women, there are different opinions as to whether or not to shake hands. Moreover, in the West such a question does not arise at all - everything is simple there: colleagues of different sexes often extend their hands to each other. In the post-Soviet space, there is tightness.

It is important to know only one thing: only a woman can give a hand first, if she wishes. The man does not make this gesture first. And interestingly, the linguistic nuance, the man holds out his hand, and the woman gives.

Types of handshakes

Above, we looked at the types of handshakes and their non-verbal nature, and now it's time to look at other types, because this gesture may not be limited to a simple handshake.

Handshake with two hands

Very popular among politicians. The person extends his right hand, as usual, and with his left hand supports the interlocutor's hand. Using such a gesture, the businessman wants to emphasize that he can be trusted. But it is not recommended to do something like this at the first meeting, you may seem insincere and feigned.

Very strong handshake

If your partner shakes his hand until the fingers crunch, he is just an ill-mannered and aggressive person who is used to taking his own without asking or permission.

Handshake with outstretched hand

It is customary to squeeze your hand at the elbow, but if your friend holds out a straight hand like a pole, this means that he is a secretive person who does not want to let at least you into his zone of trust. Also in a similar way there is a greeting with people from countryside who are accustomed to long distances between two interlocutors. This is due to the presence in the area where they live, a large free area per person and no need to crowd, as in the city at a stop at rush hour. Hence the habit of keeping a large physical distance.

Handshake with a pat on the shoulder

Permissible between people who know each other well or in situations with very pronounced emotions (for example, meeting old companions). As with the two-handed shake, the person wants to express their special greeting and desire for a closer relationship. With strangers the opposite effect occurs - they begin to be suspicious of such manifestations of familiarity.

The size of the hands and their strength, oddly enough, do not correlate at all. You can have big, powerless arms and small, strong hands. True strength lies not in the size of the muscles, but in the tendons. To strengthen the hands, it is necessary to strengthen the ligaments and tendons, and not build muscle. The record holder in Olympic triathlon, Paul Anderson, had very small hands - with a steel grip.

The strong men of the past, for the sake of argument and for the entertainment of the public, sometimes demonstrated incredible strength in their fingers and hands. Charles Van Sittart, for example, was a legendary athlete - he easily bent horseshoes as if they were made of clay. From thick iron rods, Van Sittart bent curly initials of people from the public. He tore bars, iron shackles, chains, tore tennis balls in half (by the way, no one has done this since). He broke coins with his fingers. Between the fingers of one hand, he put 4 tubes and easily broke them, slightly clenching his fist.

In the fifties, other strongmen became famous, Bill Pearl and Chuck Cipes. On stage, they tore metal car license plates in half. Of course, we do not guarantee that after our advice you will be able to repeat all this, but your handshake will definitely become stronger and more confident!

Types of grips that are used in strength exercises

• Closed grip. So you squeeze, for example, dumbbells.
• Pinch grip. Used when you hold an object with your fingertips, for example.
• Open grip. This is how we hold a very thick bar or bar.
• Finger grip. For example, when carrying dumbbells.

Exercises to strengthen the muscles of the palm

• Stand at a distance of 1 m from the wall and lean on it with your palms. Start doing push-ups on your hands, strongly pushing off the wall.
• Put your hands down. Rotate and rotate with a weighted brush.
• Place your forearm on a table or other fixed horizontal support. Perform a forearm curl with a dumbbell in hand.
• Forearms lie on a table or other surface so that the hands hang down. In the hands we hold the barbell "pickup". In this position, raise and lower the barbell.
• The same exercise, but with a different grip - "overgrip".
• Exercise with an expander (resistance force 36 kg or, for starters, one that you can squeeze up to 10 times), squeeze a rubber ball. If you read a newspaper, take it with your whole palm and crumple it into a tiny ball.
• Wind a rope with a suspended weight around the stick.
• Take the pancake in the hall by the edge and hold it with your fingers. Start with a ten-pound pancake, then gradually increase the weight.
• Climb the rope without using your legs - only due to the strength of your hands. Then start climbing the rope with only one hand (this exercise cannot be done until you learn how to pull yourself up on one arm).
• Hanging on the crossbar. Pull-ups greatly strengthen grip strength. To develop strength in the hands, pull up on a thick bar or on 2-3 fingers.
• To train and strengthen the strength in the hands, there is a Sotsky "bison" simulator (pictured).

Perform all these exercises for 2-3 series, each with 6-8 sets, with weights. You can to strengthen the strength of the grip, hand, fist.

Exercise with tennis balls

Tennis balls are one of the most useful grip strength trainers.

• Squeeze the ball very hard with the palms of both hands.
• Push the ball in with four fingers
• Push the ball down with one thumb (this strengthens the pinch grip).

As a result of such a completely home training, the strength of your forearms and palms will increase, and this will be very useful in fitness, and especially in life.