See off for 40 days. Is it possible to remember forty days earlier

The departure of loved ones is always a tragedy. But for Christians who believe in eternal life, it illuminates with the hope that the souls of their loved ones will move to the best place... The Orthodox tradition requires that the departed be remembered more than once, the first 40 days after death are especially important. What do they mean, how to organize a commemoration in a Christian way? The article will provide answers to these important questions.

Death - the end or the beginning?

Many are unaware of the fact that Christians did not celebrate birthdays in the past. Perhaps that is why the exact date when Jesus was born has not reached us. The day of death was considered much more important - the transition to eternal life with God. They have been preparing for it throughout their lives, and this should be done now. In the early days, according to Orthodox teaching, there is phased preparation spirit to your fate. But how can we find out about what happens to the soul on the 40th day after death?

The holy fathers wrote a lot about this, interpreting the words from Holy Scripture... After all, we know that Christ is risen - this alone is quite enough for the Christian faith. But there are many other testimonies shown in various Bible verses - Psalms, Acts, Job, Ecclesiastes, etc.

Most Christian denominations are convinced that there is no possibility of repentance after death. But the soul remembers all its actions, feelings are sharpened. This is what will cause suffering for what has been done wrong in life. Hell is not iron pans, but the impossibility of being with God.

Let us recall the parable of the rich man and Lazarus - it is directly described how a cruel rich man suffered in hell. And although he was ashamed of his deeds, nothing could be changed.

This is why prepare for eternal life it is necessary in advance, doing deeds of mercy, not offending others, having a "mortal memory." But even after the death of a person, one cannot give up hope. What happens after 40 days can be learned from the traditions of the Holy Church. Some saints were rewarded with revelations about what will happen to the soul that passes into another world. They have composed stories that are highly instructive.

What the hell?

The first days are especially important when the deceased goes through ordeals - his soul is tormented evil spirits who are trying to prevent a person from entering heaven. But he is helped by a guardian angel, as well as prayers of loved ones. In one of the legends, they are shown as a weapon with which the angels drive away unclean spirits. The deceased does not need either a beautiful coffin or exquisite food, especially wine - he needs spiritual support. Therefore, it is very important to order prayers:

• sorokoust - commemoration at the Liturgy, a special rite symbolizing how the soul is washed with the blood of Christ;
• a psalter for repose - in monasteries they read psalms and special prayers to them, if possible, can be ordered for a year, this is not against the rules;
• memorial services - take place every Saturday, it is especially important to carry out this rite 40 days after death, then on the anniversary;
• personal prayers - constantly, every day, for the rest of your life.

When ordering rituals, you must also attach a personal prayer, at least a short one, but try to put all your faith in it, all your feelings for the one who has left you. to a loved one... Over time, a habit will develop, there will even be a need for communication with God, it is important to preserve it, develop it, and pass it on to children.

When 40 days after death comes, this means that a preliminary decision is made about where the soul will stay. Everyone has heard about the Apocalypse, the end of the world, the Last Judgment. At this time, the universal final judgment over people will be carried out. Until then, spirit entities are waiting. In Orthodoxy, it is believed that they are either with the saints or in the likeness of hell. Many Protestant movements are of the opinion that during this period the soul is "asleep" and there is no point in praying for it.

What exactly is going on? Nobody knows for sure. But Orthodoxy is unique precisely in its views on the posthumous fate. It is believed that prayer for 40 days after death can ease the sentence that will be passed on the soul. It is necessary, of course, to arrange a commemoration, but with the awareness of what this ceremony means in the Christian sense.

Decent sendoff

Grief is common when it comes to goodbyes. But it should not be too deep, it is important to get together and provide prayer help to a loved one. Tears will not bring your loved ones back, you need to use your time wisely. On the 40th day after death, it is customary to gather relatives and friends. How to remember according to Christian traditions?

The meal should be simple, if there is a fast, the charter must be observed. Also, meat food cannot be donated to the temple. You can get together anywhere, be it a cafe, cemetery or apartment. If a person was a regular parishioner, sometimes it is allowed to hold a commemoration in the church house immediately after the requiem. Eating food for Christians is a continuation of worship, so everything should be worthy. You cannot put alcohol on the table, turn the ritual into unbridled fun.

What can you do 40 days after death? A church commemoration is mandatory for baptized Orthodox Christians; before a meal, it is necessary to visit a panikhida in the church. Or bring a priest to the grave and pray there. For this, a larger donation is usually made than for a memorial service in a church or commemoration during the Liturgy.

Even if there is no way to call the priest, there is no need to be upset. It is necessary to find the text of the memorial service for the laity and read it yourself. This must be done aloud, so that all those present also pray. Candles can be lit while reading.

After everyone disperses, you can also read 17 kathisma, how to do it correctly is written in the prayer books.

The memorial meal on the 40th day after death is accompanied by speeches. What do you need to say? Since a person is gone forever, it is customary to remember only his best qualities or actions. All people are not without sin, but insults and reproaches do not alleviate the fate of the deceased, they only bring suffering to the living. We must from the bottom of our hearts forgive everything that happened, this cannot be corrected. One should start with who the speaker was to the deceased, what united him. Describe cases that will show the dignity of the deceased, his good features. Prepare for your speech in advance by sketching it out on paper.

Who is forbidden to remember

Particular grief is inflicted on their neighbors by those who die voluntarily, or absurdly die in a state of intoxication (drowning in a river, poisoning carbon monoxide, die from drug overdose, etc.). For such people, even 40 days after death, you cannot order a church commemoration. You can pray in private, that is, personally. There are even special prayers for this. It will be very good to do charity - at the same time, you need to ask the person being gifted to pray for the relief of the eternal fate of the deceased.

Questions also arise when a baby dies, which they simply did not have time to baptize. In this case, the bewilderment is resolved by the ruling bishop. In any case, it is possible and necessary to pray for a child. The Lord does not pick up children by accident. It is believed that He protects them from a more difficult fate that could await in adulthood. It is important that parents maintain faith in God, His goodness and wisdom.

Situations are different, because life does not fit into templates. Therefore, any questions should be resolved with the priest. And also hope for the mercy of God, pray for your loved ones, do deeds of mercy.

Everlasting memory

40 days after death is an important stage in parting with the soul of a loved one. Although the other world is inaccessible to people, it is necessary to believe that good and justice reign in eternity. Prayer remembrance of the departed is the sacred duty of those who remember them. It should be constant, because it is not known how badly the dead need our help. Absolutely - not a single heartfelt prayer will be superfluous.

What happens to the soul 9 and 40 days after death

REMINDER OF THE SLEEPING

P Why do people die?

- “God did not create death and does not rejoice in the destruction of the living, for He created everything for being” (Prem. 1: 13-14). Death appeared as a result of the fall of the first people. “Righteousness is immortal, but unrighteousness causes death: the wicked attracted her with both hands and words, considered her a friend and wasted away, and entered into an alliance with her, for they are worthy to be her lot” (Wis. 1: 15-16).

To understand the question of mortality, it is necessary to distinguish between spiritual and physical death. Spiritual death is the separation of the soul from God, Who for the soul is the Source of eternal joyful existence. This death is the most terrible consequence of the fall of man. A person gets rid of it in Baptism.

But bodily death after Baptism, although it remains in a person, takes on a different meaning. From a punishment, it becomes a door to heaven (for people who were not only baptized, but also lived in a godly way) and it is already called "dormition."

What happens to the soul after death?

According to the Church Tradition, based on the words of Christ, the souls of the righteous are held by angels on the threshold of paradise, where they remain until the Last Judgment, expecting eternal bliss: “The beggar died and was carried by the angels into the bosom of Abraham” (Luke 16:22). The souls of sinners fall into the hands of demons and are “in hell, in torment” (see Luke 16:23). The final division into the saved and the condemned will take place at the Last Judgment, when “many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth will awaken, some for eternal life, others for eternal reproach and shame” (Dan. 12: 2). In the parable of the Last Judgment, Christ speaks in detail that sinners who have not done works of mercy will be condemned, and the righteous who have done such works will be justified: “And these will go into eternal torment, and the righteous into eternal life” (Matt. 25 : 46).

What do the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after the death of a person mean? What should be done these days?

Holy Tradition preaches to us the gospel from the words of the holy ascetics of faith and piety about the mystery of testing the soul after it has been detached from the body. For the first two days, the soul of a deceased person is still on earth and, with an accompanying Angel, walks to those places that attract her with the remembrance of earthly joys and sorrows, good deeds and evil. This is how the soul spends the first two days, on the third day the Lord, in the image of His three-day Resurrection, commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. On this day, the church commemoration of the soul of the deceased, presented before God, is timely.

Then the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their unspeakable beauty. The soul remains in this state for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present their souls to Him for worship. The soul awaits with fear and trembling before the Throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the Merciful Judge for the restoration of the soul of the departed with the saints.

After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of God. Now her fate is being decided - she is assigned a certain place, which she was awarded for her deeds. That is why they are so opportune church prayers and commemoration on this day. They ask for the forgiveness of sins and the establishment of the soul of the deceased in paradise with the saints. On these days, the Church celebrates requiems and litias.

The Church commemorates the deceased on the 3rd day after his death in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image Holy Trinity... Commemoration on the 9th day is performed in honor of the nine ranks of the angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and intercessors to Him, intercede for mercy on the departed. The commemoration on the 40th day, according to the legend of the apostles, is based on the forty-day lamentation of the Israelites about the death of Moses. In addition, it is known that the forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time required for preparation, acceptance of a special Divine gift, for receiving the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. Thus, the prophet Moses was honored to converse with God on Mount Sinai and receive from Him the tablets of the Law only after forty days of fasting. The prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb in forty days. The Israelites reached the Promised Land after a forty-year wilderness journey. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a foundation, the Church has established to commemorate the dead on the 40th day after their death, so that the soul of the departed ascend to the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, receive the beholding of God, achieve the promised blessedness and settle in heavenly villages with the righteous.

On all these days, it is very important to order the commemoration of the deceased in the Church, submitting notes for the commemoration at the Liturgy and funeral service.

What soul does not go through the ordeal after death?

It is known from the Holy Tradition that even Mother of God, having received a notification from the Archangel Gabriel about the approaching hour of Her relocation to heaven, surrendering herself before the Lord, she humbly pleaded with Him that, at the hour of the departure of Her soul, She would not see the prince of darkness and hellish horrors, but that the Lord Himself would accept Her soul into His Divine embrace. It is all the more useful for a sinful human race to think not about who does not go through ordeals, but about how to go through them, and do everything to cleanse the conscience, correct life according to the commandments of God. “The essence of everything: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is everything for man; for God will bring every work to judgment, and everything secret, whether good or bad ”(Eccl. 12: 13-14).

What is the concept of paradise?

Paradise is not so much a place as a state of mind; just as hell is suffering arising from the impossibility of love and nonparticipation in the Divine light, so paradise is the bliss of the soul, arising from an excess of love and light, to which the one who is united with Christ fully and completely participates. This is not contradicted by the fact that paradise is described as a place with various "abodes" and "palaces"; all descriptions of paradise are only attempts to express in human language that which is inexpressible and surpasses the human mind.

In the Bible, “paradise” is the name of the garden where God placed man; the same word in the ancient church tradition was called the future bliss of people redeemed and saved by Christ. It is also called the "Kingdom of Heaven", "the life of the age to come", "the eighth day", "new heaven", "heavenly Jerusalem." The Holy Apostle John the Theologian says: “And I saw a new heaven and new land, for the former heaven and the former earth have passed, and the sea is no longer there. Eiah John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven, saying: Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them; they will be His people, and God Himself with them will be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more; there will be no more crying, no outcry, no sickness, for the former has passed away. And He who sat on the throne said: Behold, I create everything new ... I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end; to the thirsty I will give a gift from the fountain of living water ... And (the angel) lifted me up in spirit to the great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, holy Jerusalem, which descended from heaven from God. He has the glory of God ... But I did not see a temple in him, for the Lord God Almighty is his temple, and the Lamb. And the city does not need either the sun or the moon to illuminate its own; for the glory of God illuminated him, and his lamp is the Lamb. The saved nations will walk in his light ... And nothing unclean will enter into him, and no one who is devoted to abomination and lies, but only those that are written by the Lamb in the book of life ”(Apoc. 21: 1-6,10,22-24 , 27). This is the earliest description of paradise in Christian literature.

When reading the descriptions of paradise found in theological literature, it must be borne in mind that many Church Fathers talk about the paradise that they saw, in which they were caught up by the power of the Holy Spirit. All descriptions of paradise emphasize that earthly words can only to a small extent depict heavenly beauty, since it is "unspeakable" and surpasses human comprehension. It also speaks of the "many abodes" of paradise (John 14: 2), that is, of different degrees of bliss. “Some (God) will honor with greater honors, others with lesser,” says St. Basil the Great, “because“ star differs from star in glory ”(1 Cor. 15:41). And since the Father has many abodes, he will rest some in a more excellent and higher state, and others in a lower state. " However, for everyone, his "abode" will be the highest available to him fullness of bliss - in accordance with how close he is to God in earthly life. “All the saints who are in paradise will see and know one another, and Christ will see and fill everyone,” says the Monk Simeon the New Theologian.

What concept of hell do you need to have?

There is no person who is devoid of the love of God, and there is no place that is not part of this love; however, anyone who has made a choice in favor of evil voluntarily deprives himself of God's mercy. Love, which for the righteous in paradise is a source of bliss and consolation, becomes a source of torment for sinners in hell, since they recognize themselves as not partakers of love. In the words of Saint Isaac, "the torment of hell is repentance."

According to the teachings of the Monk Simeon the New Theologian, the main reason torment of a person in hell is an acute feeling of separation from God: “None of the people who believe in You, Master,” writes the Monk Simeon, “none of those baptized in Your name will endure this great and terrible burden of separation from You, Merciful, therefore what is this terrible sorrow, unbearable, terrible and eternal sorrow. " If on earth, says the Monk Simeon, those who do not partake of God have bodily pleasures, then there, outside the body, they will experience one incessant torment. And all the images of hellish torment that exist in world literature - fire, cold, thirst, red-hot furnaces, lakes of fire, etc. - are only symbols of the suffering that comes from the fact that a person feels that he does not partake of God.

For Orthodox Christian the thought of hell and eternal torment is inextricably linked with the mystery that is revealed in divine services Holy Week and Easter, - the secret of Christ's descent into hell and the deliverance of those there from the dominion of evil and death. The Church believes that after His death Christ descended into hellish abysses in order to abolish hell and death, to destroy the terrible kingdom of the devil. As having entered the waters of the Jordan at the moment of His Baptism, Christ sanctifies these waters, filled with human sin, so when He descends into hell, He illuminates it with the light of His presence to the last depths and limits, so that hell can no longer tolerate the power of God and perishes. St. John Chrysostom says in his Passover catechism: “Hell was grieved when it met You down; grieved because he was abolished; grieved because he was ridiculed; grieved because he was put to death; grieved because he was deposed. " This does not mean that hell no longer exists after the Resurrection of Christ: it exists, but the death sentence has already been passed on it.

Every Sunday, Orthodox Christians hear hymns dedicated to the victory of Christ over death: "The Angelic Cathedral was astonished, in vain it was imputed to you in the dead, but the mortal fortress was destroyed by the Savior ... and all freedom from hell" (liberated everyone from hell). Deliverance from hell, however, should not be understood as some kind of magical action performed by Christ against the will of man: for one who consciously rejects Christ and eternal life, hell continues to exist as suffering and the torment of being forsaken by God.

How to withstand grief at the death of a loved one?

The sorrow of separation from the deceased can only be satisfied by prayer for him. Christianity does not take death as the end. Death is the beginning of a new life, and earthly life is just a preparation for it. Man was created for eternity; in paradise, he fed on the "tree of life" (Gen. 2: 9) and was immortal. But after the Fall, the path to the tree of life was blocked and man became mortal and perishable.

But life does not end with death, the death of the body is not the death of the soul, the soul is immortal. Therefore, it is necessary to see off the soul of the deceased with prayer. “Do not betray your heart to sorrow; distance her from you, remembering the end. Do not forget about this, for there is no return; and you will not benefit him, but you will harm yourself ... With the repose of the deceased, calm down the memory of him, and you will be comforted about him at the end of his soul ”(Sir 38: 20-21,23).

What to do if, after the death of a loved one, the conscience torments him about the wrong attitude towards him during his lifetime?

The voice of conscience denouncing guilt fades and stops after sincere heartfelt repentance and confession before God to the priest of his sinfulness towards the deceased. It is important to remember that with God everyone is alive and the commandment of love applies to the departed. The deceased are in great need of the prayerful help of the living and alms given for them. The lover will pray, do alms, give church notes about the repose of the departed, strive to live God-pleasing, so that God would show His mercy for them.

If you constantly stay in active concern for others, do good to them, then not only peace will be established in the soul, but deep satisfaction and joy.

What to do if a deceased person is dreaming?

Do not pay attention to dreams. However, one should not forget that the eternally living soul of the deceased feels a great need for constant prayer for her, because she herself can no longer do good deeds with which she would be able to propitiate God. Therefore, prayer in church and at home for deceased loved ones is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.

How many days do they mourn for the deceased?

There is a tradition of 40 days of mourning for a deceased loved one. According to the Tradition of the Church, on the fortieth day, the soul of the deceased receives a certain place in which it will be until the time of the Last Judgment of God. That is why, until the fortieth day, an intense prayer is required for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the external wearing of mourning is designed to promote internal concentration and attention to prayer, to keep from being actively involved in previous everyday affairs. But you can have a prayerful attitude without wearing black clothes. The inside is more important than the outside.

Who is the newly reposed and memorable one?

In the church tradition, a deceased person is called a newly departed person for forty days after death. The first day of death is considered, even if the death occurred a few minutes before midnight. On the 40th day, the disciple ^ of the Church, by God (at the private judgment of the soul), determines her afterlife fate until the general Last Judgment prophetically promised by the Savior (see Matt. 25: 31-46).

A person is usually called memorable after forty days after death. Always memorable - the word "always" means - always. And the ever-memorable is always remembered, that is, the one that is always remembered and prayed about. In memorial notes, sometimes, before the name, they write "the ever-memorable (oops)" when the next anniversary of the death of the deceased (s) is celebrated.

How is the last kiss of the deceased performed? Do I need to be baptized in this case?

Farewell kissing of the deceased occurs after his funeral service in the temple. They kiss on the whisk placed on the forehead of the deceased, or touch the icon in his hands. At the same time, they are baptized onto the icon.

What to do with the icon that was in the hands of the deceased during the funeral service?

After the funeral service for the deceased, the icon can be taken home or left in the church.

What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral service?

If he was baptized in Orthodox Church, then you need to come to the temple and order a correspondence funeral service, as well as order magpies, memorial services and pray for him at home.

How to help the deceased?

It is possible to alleviate the fate of the deceased by making frequent prayers for him and giving alms. It is good to work in memory of the deceased for the Church, for example, in a monastery.

Why is the commemoration of the departed performed?

Prayer for those who have passed from temporary life to eternal life is an ancient tradition of the Church, consecrated for centuries. Leaving the body, a person leaves the visible world, but he does not leave the Church, but remains a member of it, and it is the duty of those who remain on earth to pray for him. The Church believes that prayer makes the posthumous lot of a person easier. While a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. But after death this possibility disappears, only the hope for the prayers of the living remains. After the death of the body and private judgment, the soul is on the threshold of eternal bliss or eternal torment. It depends on how you lived your short earthly life. But much also depends on praying for the deceased. The Lives of the saints of God contain many examples of how the posthumous lot of sinners was alleviated through the prayer of the righteous, up to their complete justification.

Can the dead be cremated?

Cremation is a custom alien to Orthodoxy, borrowed from Eastern cults and spread as a norm in a secular (non-religious) society during the Soviet period. Therefore, the relatives of the deceased, at the slightest opportunity to avoid cremation, should prefer the burial of the deceased in the ground. In the sacred books there is no prohibition to burn the bodies of the departed, but there are positive indications of the Christian doctrine for a different way of burying bodies - this is their burial in the earth (see: Gen. 3:19; John 5:28; Matt. 27: 59-60). This method of burial, adopted by the Church from the very beginning of its existence and consecrated by it with a special rite, stands in connection with the entire Christian worldview and with its very essence - the belief in the resurrection of the dead. According to the strength of this belief, burial in the ground is an image of the temporary lulling of the deceased, for whom the grave in the bowels of the earth is the natural bed of rest and which is therefore called the Church of the departed (and in the worldly - the deceased) before the resurrection. And if the burial of the bodies of the departed instills and strengthens the Christian faith in the resurrection, then the burning of the dead is easily related to the anti-Christian doctrine of non-being.

The Gospel describes the rite of burial of the Lord Jesus Christ, which consisted in washing His Most Pure Body, putting on special burial clothes and placing in the tomb (Matt. 27: 59-60; Mark 15:46; 16: 1; Luke 23:53 ; 24: 1; John 19: 39-42). The same actions are supposed to be performed on departed Christians in the present time.

Cremation may be permissible in exceptional cases when there is no way to bury the body of the deceased.

Is it true that on the 40th day, the commemoration of the deceased must be ordered in three churches at once, or in one, but three consecutive services?

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie in the Church. This is a daily intensified commemoration of the newly departed during the first forty days - until the private judgment that determines the fate of the soul behind the grave. After forty days it is good to order an annual commemoration and then renew it every year. Long-term commemoration in monasteries can also be ordered. There is a pious custom - to order commemoration in several monasteries and temples (their number does not matter). The more prayer books there are for the deceased, the better.

What is eve?

Kanun (or Kanunnik) is a special table with a square or rectangular, on which stands the Cross with the Crucifixion and holes for candles. Memorial services are served before the eve. Here you can put candles and food for the commemoration of the departed.

Why bring food to the temple?

Believers bring various products to the temple so that the servants of the Church remember the dead at a meal. These offerings serve as a donation, alms for those who have passed away. In the old days, in the courtyard of the house where the deceased was, on the most significant days for the soul (3rd, 9th, 40th), memorial tables were laid, at which they fed the poor, homeless, orphans, so that there were many prayer books for the deceased. For prayer, and especially for alms, many sins are forgiven, and the fate beyond the grave is eased. Then these memorial tables began to be placed in churches on the days of the ecumenical commemoration of all Christians who have died from the age with the same purpose - to commemorate the dead.

What foods can you put on the eve?

There can be any products. It is forbidden to bring meat food to the temple.

What is the most important remembrance of the departed?

Prayers at the Liturgy are especially powerful. The church prays for all the dead, including those in hell. One of the kneeling prayers read on the feast of Pentecost contains a petition "for those who are held in hell" and that the Lord would rest them "in a brighter place." The Church believes that through the prayers of the living, God can alleviate the fate of the dead after death, delivering them from torment and honoring salvation with the saints.

Therefore, it is necessary in the coming days after death to order in the church a forty-mouth, that is, commemoration at forty Liturgies: forty times a Bloodless Sacrifice is offered for the deceased, a particle is taken out of the prosphora and immersed in the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the newly departed. This is a feat of love for the fullness of the Orthodox Church in the person of a priest who celebrates the Liturgy for the sake of people remembered at the proskomedia. This is the most necessary thing that can be done for the soul of the deceased.

What is parenting Saturday?

On certain Saturdays of the year, the Church commemorates all formerly departed Christians. The memorial services that are performed on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called Ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the morning parenting Saturdays during the Liturgy, all formerly departed Christians are commemorated. On the eve of parental Saturday, on Friday evening, parastas is served (translated from the Greek "coming", "intercession", "intercession") - the following of the great funeral service for all deceased Orthodox Christians.

When are parental Saturdays?

Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a fixed date, but are associated with the rolling day of Easter. Meat Saturday is eight days before the beginning of Lent. Parental Saturdays are on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent. Trinity parental Saturday - on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension. On the Saturday preceding the Day of Remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki (November 8, new style), there is Demetrius' parental Saturday.

Is it possible to pray for repose after parental Saturday?

Yes, it is possible and necessary to pray for the repose of the dead even after parental Saturdays. It is the duty of the living to the departed and an expression of love for them. The departed themselves can no longer help themselves, they cannot bear the fruits of repentance, they cannot do alms. This is evidenced by the Gospel parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16: 19-31). Death is not a withdrawal into oblivion, but the continuation of the existence of the soul in eternity, with all its features, weaknesses and passions. Therefore, the departed (except for the saints glorified by the Church) need prayerful remembrance.

Saturdays (except Great Saturday, saturdays on Bright week and Saturdays, coinciding with the twelve, great and temple holidays), in church calendar by tradition, they are considered days of special remembrance of the dead. But you can pray for the departed, you can submit notes in the church on any day of the year, even when, according to the charter of the Church, funeral services are not served, in this case the names of the deceased are commemorated in the altar.

What other days of remembrance of the departed are there?

Radonitsa - nine days after Easter, on Tuesday after Bright Week. In Radonitsa, they share with the departed the joy of the Resurrection of the Lord, expressing the hope for their resurrection. The Savior himself descended into hell to preach the victory over death and drained from there the souls of the Old Testament righteous. From this great spiritual joy the day of this remembrance is called "rainbow", or "radonitsa".

Special commemoration of all the dead during the Great Patriotic War of 1941-1945. established by the Church on May 9. The soldiers killed on the battlefield are also commemorated on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist on September 11 in a new style.

Should I go to the cemetery on the anniversary of the death of a close relative?

The main days of memory of the deceased are the anniversaries of death and namesake. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased, relatives close to him pray for him, expressing the belief that the day of death of a person is not a day of destruction, but of a new birth for eternal life; the day of the transition of the immortal human soul to other conditions of life, where there is no longer a place for earthly diseases, sorrows and sighs.

On this day, it is good to visit the cemetery, but first you should come to the temple at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration in the altar (it is better if it is a commemoration at a proskomedia), at a memorial service and, if possible, pray during the service.

Do I have to go to the cemetery on Easter, Trinity, the Day of the Holy Spirit?

Sunday and holidays should be carried out in prayer in the temple of God, and for visiting the cemetery there are special days commemoration of the departed - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa, as well as anniversaries of the deceased and the days of the namesake of the deceased.

What to do when visiting a cemetery?

Arriving at the cemetery, you need to clean up the grave. You can light a candle. If possible, invite a priest to perform the litiya. If this is not possible, then you can read a short rite of the lithium on your own, having previously purchased a corresponding brochure in a church or an Orthodox store. If you wish, you can read the akathist about the repose of the departed. Just keep quiet, remember the deceased.

Is it possible to arrange a "funeral" at the cemetery?

In addition to the kutia consecrated in the temple, there is nothing to eat or drink in the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into the grave mound - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom to leave a glass of vodka and a piece of bread on the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox. There is no need to leave food on the grave - it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.

What should be eaten at the "funeral"?

By tradition, a memorial table is assembled after the burial. The memorial meal is a continuation of the divine service and prayer for the deceased. The funeral meal begins with eating the kutia brought from the temple. Kutia or kolivo are boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey. Pancakes and sweet jelly are also traditionally eaten. On a fast day, food should also be lean. A memorial meal should differ from a noisy feast in reverent silence and kind words about the deceased.

Unfortunately, a bad custom has taken root to commemorate the deceased with vodka and a hearty snack. The same thing is repeated on the ninth and fortieth days. This is wrong, since the newly departed soul these days longs for a special fervent prayer to God for her, and certainly not drinking wine.

Is it possible to put a photograph of the deceased on a grave cross?

The cemetery is a special place where the bodies of those who have passed into another life rest. A visible evidence of this is the tombstone, which is erected as a sign of the atoning victory of the Lord Jesus Christ over death. As the Savior of the world has risen, having accepted death on the cross for people, so all the dead will be bodily resurrected. They come to the cemetery to pray for them in this resting place of the departed. A photograph on a grave cross often invites more memory than prayer.

With the adoption of Christianity in Russia, the deceased were placed either in stone sarcophagi, and a cross was depicted on the lid, or in the ground. A cross was put on the grave. After 1917, when the destruction of Orthodox traditions took on a systematic character, posts with photographs were placed on the graves instead of crosses. Sometimes monuments were erected and a portrait of the deceased was attached to them. After the war, monuments with a star and a photograph began to prevail as tombstones. In the last decade and a half, crosses have increasingly begun to appear in cemeteries. The practice of placing photographs on crosses has survived from the past Soviet decades.

Can I bring my dog ​​with me when visiting the cemetery?

Of course, it's not worth taking a dog to the cemetery for a walk. But if necessary, for example, a guide dog for a blind person or for the purpose of guarding when visiting a remote cemetery, you can take it with you. The dog should not be allowed to run through the graves.

If a person died on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Easter to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then the Easter Canon is read. Instead of the Psalter on Bright Week, they read the Acts of the Holy Apostles.

Is it necessary to serve a requiem for the baby?

The dead babies are buried and funeral services are served on them, but in prayers they do not ask for forgiveness of sins, since babies do not have deliberately committed sins, but ask the Lord to grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.

Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for a person who died in the war, if the place of his burial is unknown?

If the deceased was baptized, then he can be sung in absentia, and the received after extramural funeral service sprinkle the earth crosswise on any grave in an Orthodox cemetery.

The tradition of performing a funeral service in absentia appeared in the 20th century in Russia in connection with the large number of those who died in the war, and since it was often impossible to follow the funeral service over the body of the deceased because of the absence of temples and priests, because of the persecution of the Church and the persecution of believers. There are also cases of tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased. In such cases, an absentee funeral service is permissible.

Is it possible to order a requiem for an unrepentant buried deceased?

Memorial services can be ordered if the deceased was baptized an Orthodox person and not one of the suicides. The Church does not commemorate the unbaptized and suicides.

If it became known that the deceased was not a funeral service according to the Orthodox rite, then he must be sung in absentia. In the funeral rite, in contrast to the requiem, the priest reads a special prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased.

The funeral service and funeral service is important not just to "order", but to the relatives and friends of the deceased to take part in prayer.

Is it possible to service a suicide service and pray for his repose at home and in the temple?

In exceptional cases, after considering all the circumstances of the suicide ruling bishop diocese, may be blessed with a funeral service in absentia. For this, the relevant documents and a written request are submitted to the name of the ruling bishop, where, with special responsibility for their words, all known circumstances and reasons for the suicide are indicated. All cases are considered individually. With the permission of the absentee funeral service by the bishop, the temple prayer for the repose becomes possible.

In all cases, for the prayerful consolation of the relatives and friends of a person who has committed suicide, a special prayer rite has been developed, which can be performed whenever the relatives of a person who has committed suicide will turn to a priest for consolation in the grief that has befallen them.

In addition to performing this rite, relatives and friends can, with the blessing of the priest, read at home the prayer of the venerable elder Leo Optinsky: “Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant (name): if it is possible, have mercy. Your destinies are invisible. Do not make this my prayer a sin, but Thy holy will be done ”and give alms.

Is it true that suicides are commemorated on Radonitsa? What if, believing this, they regularly submitted suicide memorial notes to the temple?

No, it’s not like that. If a person, out of ignorance, submitted notes on the commemoration of suicides (the funeral service for which was not blessed by the ruling bishop), then he must repent of this in confession and no longer do this. All doubtful questions should be resolved with the priest, and not believe the rumors.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased if he is a Catholic?

Private, private (home) prayer for a heterodox deceased is not prohibited - you can commemorate him at home, read psalms at the tomb. In churches, funerals are not performed and they do not commemorate those who have never belonged to the Orthodox Church: gentiles and everyone who died unbaptized. The rite of the funeral service and the funeral service was drawn up taking into account the fact that the deceased and the funeral service was a faithful member of the Orthodox Church.

Is it possible to submit notes in the church about the commemoration of the dead unbaptized?

Liturgical prayer is a prayer for the children of the Church. In the Orthodox Church, it is not customary to commemorate unbaptized, as well as heterodox Christians, at the proskomedia (preparatory part of the Liturgy). This, however, does not mean that they should not be prayed for at all. Private (home) prayer for such departed is possible. Christians believe that prayer can be of great help to the dead. True Orthodoxy breathes the spirit of love, mercy and condescension towards all people, including those outside the Orthodox Church.

The Church cannot commemorate the unbaptized for the reason that they lived and died outside the Church - they were not its members, were not revived to a new, spiritual life in the Sacrament of Baptism, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ and cannot participate in the blessings that He promised to those who love Him.

Orthodox Christians pray at home about alleviating the fate of the souls of the dead who were not honored with Holy Baptism, and babies who died in the womb of their mothers or during childbirth, and read the canon to the holy martyr U aru, who has the grace from God to intercede for the dead who were not honored with Holy Baptism. From the life of the holy martyr U ara it is known that by his intercession he delivered from eternal torment the relatives of the pious Cleopatra, who venerated him, who were pagans.

They say that those who died on Bright Week receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it so?

The posthumous fate of the dead is known only to the Lord. “Just as you don’t know the ways of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you cannot know the work of God, who does everything” (Eccl. 11: 5). The one who lived piously, did good deeds, carried the cross, repented, confessed and received communion - he, by the grace of God, can be vouchsafed to a blessed life in eternity, regardless of the time of death. And if a person spent his whole life in sins, did not confess and did not receive communion, but died on Bright Week, can it be argued that he inherited the Kingdom of Heaven?

If a person died in a continuous week before Peter's Lent, does this mean anything?

Doesn't mean anything. The Lord terminates the earthly life of every person in due time, providentially taking care of every soul.

“Do not hasten death by the errors of your life, and do not attract destruction to you by the works of your hands” (Wis. 1:12). "Do not indulge in sin, and do not be mad: why would you die at the wrong time?" (Eccl. 7:17).

Is it possible to get married in the year of the mother's death?

There is no special rule on this score. Let it be religious and moral sense itself will tell you how to proceed. On all significant life issues, one should consult with a priest.

Why is it necessary to take communion on the days of commemoration of relatives: on the ninth, fortieth days after death?

There is no such rule. But it will be good if the relatives of the deceased prepare and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, repenting, including sins related to the deceased, forgiving him all offenses and asking for forgiveness themselves.

Do I need to close the mirror if someone from my family has died?

Hanging mirrors in the house is a superstition and has nothing to do with church traditions burials of the deceased. Is it necessary to close the mirror if someone from your family has died?

The custom of hanging mirrors in a house where death occurs is partly derived from the belief that anyone who sees himself in the mirror of that house will soon die too. There are many "mirror" superstitions, some of them are associated with fortune-telling on mirrors. And where there is magic and witchcraft, fear and superstition inevitably appear. A hung or an open mirror does not in any way affect the duration of life, which is entirely dependent on the Lord.

There is a belief that until the fortieth day nothing can be given from the things of the deceased. Is this true?

It is necessary to intercede for the defendant before the trial, and not after it. Therefore, it is necessary to intercede for the soul of the deceased immediately after his death until the fortieth day and after him: pray and perform deeds of mercy, distribute the things of the deceased, donate to the monastery, to the church. Before the onset of the Last Judgment, you can change the fate of the deceased by intense prayer for him and alms.

The death of a relative or close friend is an event that fills the heart with grief. But believers find consolation, doing everything possible so that the soul of the deceased would painlessly cross the edge of the earthly. In Christianity, it is assumed that the fate of a person's soul is decided on the fortieth day after his death. The soul will say goodbye to earthly life, to everything that it is accustomed to and loved. And leave the world of the living forever.

Approaching the decisive date

Prayer is the main support that you provide to the soul of the deceased. While her fate has not yet been decided, close people can soften the verdict of the Higher Forces with their sincere prayers. Lord, seeing your sincere desire to help your soul a loved one reunite with Him, can forgive the sins of the deceased, showing fatherly mercy.

Other important points:

1. Funeral clothes. Wearing special strict (not necessarily black) clothes for forty days will help you avoid extremes in behavior - fuss, irrepressible hysteria.
2. Refusal of entertainment, bad habits.

Preparing for the commemoration

The soul of the deceased on the fortieth day returns to the place of its earthly habitation (for a short time), and after the relatives hold the commemoration, it leaves the earth forever. Believers are convinced that "seeing off" is the help we provide so that the soul of the deceased can find the Kingdom of Heaven.

Let us remind you what dishes are appropriate at the commemoration:

• Kutia. This is the main dish at the commemoration.
• Pies (with rice, mushrooms, cottage cheese).
• Kissel from berries.
• Slicing of cheese, sausages (if the commemoration falls on fasting, meat dishes- prohibited).
• Potatoes (stewed or mashed).
• The dish that the deceased loved. It can be salad, stews, pancakes. It is undesirable to cook too complex, exotic dishes.

It is better to refuse alcohol on such a day.

Whom to invite to the commemoration?

On the fortieth day after the death of the deceased, his relatives and friends gather for a commemoration to honor his memory, to remember significant (bright) moments from the life of the deceased. It is important for the soul of the deceased that people who knew him during his lifetime remember him good deeds, about the best traits of his character.

It is customary to invite to the "farewell" not only close friends and relatives of a person who has gone to another world, but also his colleagues, students, mentors. Ideally, anyone who has treated the deceased well can come to the memorial service. After all, the forties is the day of the final separation of the soul from the world of the living.

You should not spend large sums of money to amaze relatives who came to the commemoration with a variety of dishes. It would be wiser to provide financial assistance to orphans or people burdened with serious illnesses.

Before the commemoration, the belongings of the deceased should be disassembled and distributed to relatives and friends. You cannot throw them away. The more sincere prayers for the soul of the deceased are sounded on the fortieth day after his death, the better it will be for everyone. And the deceased, and those who grieve for him. Discussion of some dark secrets of the deceased, his mistakes and unseemly deeds is taboo. If you know there will be people attending the wake, talk to them ahead of time and ask them to be courteous.

Where to go?

On the fortieth day, the relatives of the deceased go to church and submit a note "On the repose." Of course, such notes are allowed to be submitted only for those who have been baptized. You can take some of the belongings of a deceased person to the church - there will always be those who will be glad even for a modest gift.

Cemetery visit - second important point"Wires". Relatives, going to the cemetery, take bouquets of flowers and lamps with them. Each bouquet that will be laid on the grave of the deceased must contain an even number of flowers.

On this day, it will be decided whether the soul of the deceased will enter the Light ... or join the Darkness. If you lay flowers on the grave of the deceased, pray for the tranquility of his soul - this will the best way express your love to him.

Vanity and disputes are not for this day ...

It is worth deciding in advance who will be the presenter at the commemoration. Most often, this role is assumed by the spouse of the deceased. If the pain of loss is so strong that it is difficult for a person to talk about the departed without tears, you can appoint a friend or colleague of the deceased as a “leader”. What the facilitator should do:

• Make sure that everyone who wants to make a memorial speech.
• Do not allow the commemoration to escalate into an exchange of gossip or a quarrel.
• To catch the moment when the guests get tired of what is happening, they begin to talk about everyday things. This is a signal that the commemoration must be completed.

Talk about inheritance, family member illnesses, oh personal life guests is not what it should sound at the memorial table. The commemoration is a "gift" to the soul of the deceased, and not a reason to inform the world about one's own problems.

Additionally

According to Orthodox traditions, on the fortieth day, the fate of the human soul is decided. And it is we, living people, who by our actions can achieve a better fate for the deceased. We will tell you about what needs to be done and how to spend this day in this article.

40 days from the date of death is a very important and responsible date, because it is on this day, by Orthodox canons, the soul of the deceased is given a verdict regarding its further whereabouts. And if the soul itself is no longer able to change and correct anything for the sake of a better fate, then the relatives of the deceased can do this. We will tell you what to do after 40 days, as well as how the living can save the soul of the deceased.

The first and most important thing to do, not only on this particular day, but also on all previous ones, is to pray. Prayer is most simple and the right way persuade higher power be merciful and change the verdict into better side... Prayer 40 days can be both home and church. If you pray at home, you can read the kathisma from the psalter, but the magpie is ordered in the church. For everyone, except for suicides, the priest and parishioners will pray with you. Also, for people who independently made the decision to die, you cannot submit memorial notes. However, in this case, there may be exceptions. If you have received a blessing from a priest, then you have full right to ask for service for a loved one. If you were unable to obtain such permission, remember that no one can forbid you to pray for the soul of the deceased on your own. It will also be useful to confess yourself and bring your loved ones to confession.

Together with prayer for the salvation of the soul of the deceased, you can sacrifice your renunciation of any sin at least for a while. For example, you can give up cigarettes or alcohol - this will also benefit the soul of your loved one. Even a simple refusal to watch TV in favor of prayer will be a great comfort and joy for the deceased.

Another important tradition for 40 days is a commemoration. Believers should be at the memorial dinner, since those who do not believe in God cannot help a person's soul by their presence alone. It is necessary to celebrate 40 days with lean and simple food, without culinary delights, especially when the commemoration falls on the time of fasting. If there are no posts at this time, also try not to spend a large sum on pleasing guests. Know how to prioritize: the money that you are going to spend on expensive meals, it is better to give the needy (beggars, disabled people, orphans). This will bring much more benefit to the soul of the deceased. The main dish should be kutia, which symbolizes the rebirth of the soul. Each of those present must eat at least one spoonful of it, after which he can proceed to other dishes.

Don't take 40 days as an opportunity to get together with friends and family. Remember that this is not a social event or a feast. Fun, songs and alcohol, of course, are prohibited by the church, but you yourself must understand that the remembrance of the deceased cannot be combined with jokes and laughter. Pay close attention to the course of the conversation. It often happens that during the commemoration, people gather who have not seen each other for a long time. And when conversations about the deceased smoothly turn into conversations about everyday affairs, pressing problems, or, even worse, about what and to whom will inherit from the deceased, the commemoration should be completed.

Be sure to visit the cemetery for 40 days. Take a candle and flowers with you. The most popular flowers for the dead are carnations, tulips and orchids, but you can also bring irises, violets, feces and roses to your loved one’s grave. For the deceased, it is customary to bring an even number of flowers, for which there is a simple explanation. The fact is that even numbers are a symbol of life and death, that is, the beginning and end, while odd numbers denote continuation and movement. By placing flowers on a tombstone for 40 days, you show respect for the deceased, show your great love for him, and also emphasize the importance of loss.

All 40 days after the deceased, it is necessary to observe mourning. It means special behavior and clothing. The things we wear help create a certain mood for us and even encourage prayer. Therefore, all these days try to wear simple, strict and closed clothes without pretentiousness.

In the preparation and conduct of the fortieth day, first of all, it is important to think about the deceased and his soul, and the details of the menu, the number of flowers and other similar things are a secondary matter.

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A dining room, cafe or restaurant for organizing a memorial table can be found in the section Conducting memorials of our portal

After the death of a person, the time comes for the burial of his remains. There they are to rest until the general resurrection. However, the care and love of the Church for her children does not end there. On certain days, clergymen pray for the dead and offer a sacrifice for their repose. On special days for commemoration, the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death are considered. What is the commemoration of the departed in 40 days, how to properly commemorate the departed? This procedure must be consistent with church teachings.

How to properly commemorate the dead at 40 days

The fortieth day after the death of a person is considered the most responsible date, because it is then, according to the canons, that the soul leaves the earth and receives a verdict on its further whereabouts. She is no longer able to change the situation, but her relatives are able to help.

On this day, one should pray fervently to ask the Lord to show mercy and make a just decision. For the salvation of the soul, relatives should give up some of their sins for a while. What does it mean? For a while, you should stop watching TV, listening to music, smoking or drinking. Such a refusal will bring benefit and consolation to the deceased.

Unshakable traditions

Commemoration of commemoration is considered an important tradition, and it is important to carry it out correctly. Believers should be present at the commemoration. Typically, 40 days are celebrated with a simple, lean cuisine lunch without the preparation of gourmet dishes. An obligatory dish on the memorial table is kutia as a symbol of the rebirth of the soul. Before trying dishes on the table, people always eat at least a spoonful of kutya.

In no case should the commemoration be a joyful occasion to meet with relatives and friends. No fun here. On the fortieth day, they certainly go to the cemetery to bring the deceased flowers and a candle. Laying flowers on the grave is considered a sign of respect and great love, and also symbolizes the severity of the loss.

For all forty days, they keep mourning for the deceased (simple dark clothes and restrained behavior). The preparation for the organization of the commemoration should be based on caring for the deceased and his needs, and not on the choice of menu and flowers.

According to the tradition of Orthodoxy, on the 40th day after the death of a person, you can distribute his things to those in need with a request to pray for his soul. Things that do not remain with relatives as a token of memory should be taken to the church.

A church funeral service consisting of prayers is ordered for the deceased. All those praying ask for God's mercy and forgiveness of sins for the soul of the deceased. During the memorial service, all those gathered should stand with candles. Candles are a sign that people believe in a bright life after death. At the end of the memorial service, they are extinguished. This symbolizes the sudden cessation of earthly existence.