How to refuse intrusive people? How to competently, culturally and politely refuse a person a request, a loan of money without offending him: words, phrases, dialogue. A colleague, a friend constantly asks for help: how to delicately and correctly refuse? How to cancel a trip, not about

11.10.2019

Many people suffer from the fact that they do not know how to say the word "no". Although it is logical from time to time to refuse to help people that you cannot give, many, sacrificing their own interests, come to the rescue of others. Think it's right? No matter how. Some people shamelessly take advantage of the courtesy of others and live happily at the expense of it. How to refuse a person without offending him?

Boost your self esteem

A person must be a reasonable egoist. Self-interest should always be put above. Of course, if they do not prevent other people from living happily. More often than others, the question "how to refuse a person without offending him" is asked by people with low self-esteem. Strong personalities who know what they want will never sacrifice their interests to help others. For example, you can apply to the poor only if your finances allow it. It is foolish to be led by beggars who, instead of going to work, stand on the street and beg money from passers-by. And this doesn't just apply to the poor. Some simply do not want to spend their own energy and learn something new. It is easier for them to find a person who can sit on his neck and live with his mind. Don't fall for mercy. Learn to defend your interests. Egoism is good quality. You have one life, and you will not have a second chance to live it happily. So never make empty promises. Think twice before agreeing to help someone to your detriment. A person who loves himself will not allow someone to infringe on his interests.

Always prepare a reason

People whom you refuse something will not be offended by you if you tell them the real reason for the refusal and explain why you cannot fulfill their request. You don't have to make up false excuses. If you can't help a friend move because you bought a theater ticket, say so. No need to justify. Just note that you did not know anything about the move of a friend, and you bought tickets a month in advance. Thus, you will be able to maintain friendship, because a person will be able to enter into your position. Do not think that a friend will suggest that you choose entertainment over help. Tickets purchased in advance are proof that you planned your leisure time and, since you had no other offers for this evening, you decided to manage your free time as you see fit.

How to refuse a person and not offend him? In no case do not come up with stupid excuses, like the fact that your mother or boyfriend is sick. Lies will be easy to check, and the person you refused for a stupid reason will be offended.

No need to justify

Don't want to do what you're asked to do? How to refuse a person without offending him? No need to justify. If you want to stay at home instead of going to a noisy party, say so. Everyone has the right to their own opinion and to the realization of their desires. If you don't want to spend time with strangers and want to relax at home, there is nothing wrong with that. Be firm in your intentions and do not try to whitewash yourself. Your decision is your choice and it cannot be wrong. You should not lower your eyes to the floor and mumble that you have not been at home for a long time and at work you are forced to contact people all the time. It will be stupid and ugly. Say "no" in a firm and confident voice. If you do not want to explain the reason for the refusal, do not do it. A simple answer will suffice: "No, thanks, I don't want to." No one will insist that you do something that you do not enjoy. Especially if you have other plans for the evening. Even if it is a completely natural desire to lie in the bath or watch your favorite series.

Talk about fear and perfectionism

How to refuse a person, so as not to offend? Many people are afraid to help their friends if they are not sure that they will cope with the task. For example, your friend asked you to replace him at the children's holiday. You have little experience with children and have no idea how to behave with them. Say that you do not want to spoil the reputation of a friend, as you are completely incompetent in organizing children's holidays. There is no shame in admitting your incompetence. It will be much worse if your fears come true.

When you say no to someone because you're sure you won't do a perfect job, talk about your passion for perfectionism. This recognition will only raise your rating in the eyes of the asker, and not lower it. The desire to do everything perfectly is very commendable. And the ability to soberly assess your abilities will help you avoid embarrassing situations.

Don't fall for the tricks of manipulators

Some people are masters of the art of manipulation. How to learn to refuse people without offending them? Try not to fall for the tricks of cunning acquaintances. You found yourself in a situation where you refused a friend something, and he, instead of taking it for granted, began to say that he did not expect such a kind and sympathetic person to refuse. After such a remark, any person who has just refused will feel embarrassed. Always remember that some people will try to manipulate you. Say that you are a really sympathetic person, but only in those cases when you have the opportunity to help the person. If you have neither the desire, nor the strength, nor the time, you do not need to redraw your schedule because of gross flattery. Being greedy for compliments is bad. Do not allow confusion in your soul because of the words of the interlocutor. If you said "no" once, repeat your answer in the same firm and confident tone in which the first refusal was given.

Please lend money

Many people find it uncomfortable to refuse requests that involve money. For this reason, many people who make good money are "ridden" by all friends. They borrow money, and then they either don’t pay it back, or they give it back, but they play for a very long time. How to refuse a person and not offend him? Examples of phrases that will help you say a firm "no":

Refusals to lend are quite natural. If a person really needs money, he can go to a bank and take a loan. Therefore, you should not feel guilty if you cannot sponsor your friend.

Rejection to a fan

It is difficult to refuse a person who has warm feelings for you. But it is even worse to give a person an unrealizable hope. If you don't want to mock the person's feelings, you should say "no" right away. How to refuse a person without offending him? The rejection phrases that many girls use are terrible. Never say that a guy is kind, good and... just not worthy of you. Such a refusal implies that the other chosen one is better than your current gentleman. This fact hits hard on male self-esteem. Therefore, tell the person that you do not experience reciprocity, which means that there can be nothing between you. Is it possible to be offended by such a phrase? No. How can you be offended that a person does not feel sympathy for you? The gentleman will decide that the lady simply could not appreciate him, and will go looking for the one who will cope with this task.

Examples

How to refuse a person without offending him, via SMS? Don't use standard forms and don't write stupid excuses. Short message should contain a concise answer. It is advisable to keep within two phrases. In the first, you say that you refuse, and in the second, you specify why. How to refuse a person and not offend him? Examples of SMS messages:

Thanks for the offer, it's tempting. But I can't accept it as I have other plans for this weekend.
I'm sorry to tell you no, but the last time I stretched, I injured my leg badly, and I have no desire to repeat my negative experience.
I don't understand choice indoor plants and I won't be able to go with you to the greenhouse. But I have a friend who can help you.
I can't help you move because I'm busy this weekend. But I can help you with interior design if you need help with this.

Instruction

First, learn one truth: you do not have to make excuses for your refusal, even if it is a refusal. close person. The more helplessly you make excuses, the more you risk ruining your relationship with the person. If you are so lamenting, then why are you refusing? Such a discrepancy is incomprehensible to the person whom you refused, and offends him more than the very fact of refusal. Give a reason only if it really exists and it is serious.

Sometimes the most honest option is to say a blunt no, but it's better to do it in a gentle way. For example: “no, I can’t do it”, “no, I prefer not to do it”, “no, I don’t have free time right now”. Perhaps the interlocutor will begin to provoke and persuade you, but you stand your ground, not getting involved in the discussion.

A softer form of refusal is to show participation and understanding to the problem of the interlocutor. If a person puts pressure on pity, you can calmly listen to him, sympathize and refuse. For example: “I understand that you are very tired, but I can’t fulfill your request”, “this is a really serious problem, but I can’t solve it”, “I understand how hard it is for you, but I can’t help in this situation ".

There is one trick called delayed refusal. It is suitable for those people who do not know how to refuse at all. It is also good to buy time and think a little, weigh the pros and cons. You just need to ask the person for some time to think. This can be expressed something like this: “I don’t exactly remember all my plans for tomorrow”, “I want to consult with ...”, “I need to think”, “I can’t say right away.” If you are a reliable person, try to use this technique at all times.

There are situations in which you need to refuse partially. State your terms, what you agree to and what you don't. This happens if you really want to help in some way in a particular situation, but the person is asking for too much. You can answer: “I am ready to help with ..., but not ...”, “I will not be able to come daily, but I can do it on Thursday and Saturday”, “I will give you a lift, but if you come on time”. If you do not agree to any of the conditions offered to you, but sincerely want to help the person, ask: “maybe I can help with something else?”.

Sometimes you really wish you could help, but you don't know how. In this case, try to look for options together with the person asking. It might actually be within your power to do something. You can also refuse and immediately offer help in finding a specialist who can definitely help in resolving this issue.

2 915 0 Hello! In this article, we will talk about how to learn to say “no” or how to properly refuse people.

Are you familiar with situations when you are asked for something, and you agree, although inner voice resists and advises to do the opposite. Probably yes, if you are reading this article. This problem is very common in our society, and not only among timid and anxious people, but also among the brave and self-confident as well. Why is it so hard to say no? What is this behavior based on? What guides a person at this moment: feelings or reason? And, most importantly, how to learn to say “no”?

Why are we afraid to refuse people's requests?

Quite often, the roots of the problem lie in a strict upbringing.. Children whose authoritarian parents completely suppress their will always unconditionally obey or begin to protest against everything around. In the first case, they carry into adulthood the habit of obeying and fulfilling the requests of others.
Fear of ruining relationships. And the closer and more significant these relationships are, the more often we agree to fulfill requests. Thoughts are usually spinning in my head: “What will he think of me? Suddenly finds me unreliable (unreliable)? Will he communicate with me after that? Usually, the anxiety and discomfort caused by such experiences is stronger than the desire to refuse, and we agree.
Fear of losing existing opportunities. Many are afraid of losing what they have and they consider any refusals a threat to their position.
The need to feel your own importance. “If they turn to me, it means that I am needed and important,” such a person thinks, and this greatly warms his soul. Quite often, these strings are played by manipulators. “Except for you, perhaps no one can cope with this” or “I can only entrust this matter to you” - this is how they formulate their request, and the person falls for their bait.
Fear of being alone. People may fear that if they refuse a request, they will be rejected and left alone.
delicacy, courtesy. If these qualities are developed excessively, and a person is used to sacrificing his own interests for the sake of others, then saying “no” seems to him an extremely difficult task. Although, even being very loyal and responsive, some people know how beautiful it is to refuse a request.
Desire to avoid conflict. On the one hand, it is the fear of causing indignation in the interlocutor (relative, friend, colleague, boss). On the other hand, it is difficult to defend one's opinion.

Why is it so important to learn to refuse and say "no"

What does the inability to say "no" and the constant provision of services to other people lead to?

By regularly responding to requests, you deplete internal resources, especially if you do it against your own will. , nervous breakdowns, apathy can be the consequences of this.

For example, you are loaded with additional unpaid work, you constantly stay late, come home tired. Of course, this negatively affects health, mood and family relationships.

Afraid to seem impolite and callous and constantly agreeing to everything that you are inclined to, you end up looking in the eyes of those around you as spineless and unable to defend your “I”.
Once in a while, fulfilling the requests of other people, you can relax them. By demonstrating constant dependability, you encourage their vices and weaknesses: laziness, selfishness, a tendency to consume, a desire to avoid responsibility, and others.

For example, a friend regularly asks you for a loan, because she does not know how to “live within her means”, correctly calculate her expenses and quickly spend all her savings. Fulfilling her request, you allow her to plunge more and more into the abyss of financial problems and an irresponsible attitude towards money. Wouldn't it be better to openly talk to a friend about this and try to help her change her approach to life?

You regularly sacrifice your interests, deeds, time, fulfilling someone else's will. You can even stop developing spiritually, giving it all your strength.

For example, a neighbor asks you every Saturday to babysit her all day and evening. You agree by refusing to go to the gym and visit your parents. However, you know that she has relatives who probably will not approve of her regular meetings with friends and parties. Therefore, she turns to you, and you cannot competently refuse, because you feel sorry for the baby and sincerely want to help.

Realizing that you are constantly being used, you yourself begin to have a negative attitude towards these people, avoid communicating with them.

How to say "no" and be able to politely refuse a person

So, it is necessary to correctly refuse to fulfill a request in situations where:

you are used and constantly contacted;
indeed, there is no time, no opportunity (for various reasons) to do what is asked;
you are very tired;
what they want from you is at odds with your views, principles, values.

The first step towards developing the ability to say “no” is to admit that you really have a problem with this, you want to solve it and learn to refuse.

Then look at situations where you didn't want to comply with a request but couldn't say no. How do they affect your life? What are the negative consequences? The result of the analysis should be a persistent dislike for one's reliability and a desire to get rid of it.

After that, you need to move on to actions and consolidate a valuable skill in behavior. You need to start with training at home with the possible involvement of loved ones or a girlfriend (friend).

How to politely refuse to communicate with a person

Practice saying “no” in front of a mirror. Present the request of someone from your environment, formulate a phrase of refusal. Say it until you like its sound and until you feel confident and firm in your voice. You can ask your family to play this situation with you. After training, track how you feel.
It is important to put aside your fears that others will be offended, stop communicating with you, reject you, or make a scandal if you refuse them. Surely most of your acquaintances (relatives, friends, colleagues) who ask for something are adequate people who are able to understand that you also have your own affairs and needs and you cannot do it now.
Make it a rule: when you are asked for something, wait a while before saying “yes”, because often consent is given out of habit, on automatism. The pause will help you gather your thoughts, weigh key points to deal with anxiety.
Always make eye contact when you say no. This indicates your confidence and firm decision. Indistinct phrases and a glance "past" the interlocutor are perceived as consent, albeit reluctantly.
Start small - at first, refuse minor requests, such as lending money or meeting a friend.
When refusing, speak in your own name, use the pronoun "I": "Unfortunately, I can not help you", "I hate to do this", etc.
Do not use excuses, it reduces respect for you. Rejection should sound firm, but calm.
Before you say no, always listen to the person. So you show respect for him and you yourself will have time to find the right words.
Be sure to explain to the person your refusal, tell why you cannot fulfill the request. This will help maintain mutual understanding between you.
Voice your feelings, for example: “I’m, of course, upset (upset) that I can’t help best friend(to a friend)."
Help with advice, express your opinion on how this situation can be resolved or to whom it is better to turn to fulfill the request.
How to refuse to work if you are loaded with additional tasks? You can choose the following phrase: “I can’t fulfill these duties, because the project I’m doing takes up all my working time” or “I can’t stay late at work, because I have to devote this time to my family.”

Love and respect yourself. You must be sure that it is your legal right to have personal time and valuables. And always remember that refusal is not a disregard for the interests of another person, but the need to make him understand that the request cannot be fulfilled "here and now."

Practical Tips and real life examples. Why is it important to learn how to say “no”?

Polite refusal options.

There is a proverb that says that if you give a relative a loan, it means losing him. Everything about financial matters often spoils relations between friends and even relatives. In this article we will tell you how to refuse a person and not ruin your relationship with him.

How to competently, culturally and politely refuse a person a loan of money without offending him: words, phrases, dialogue

This can be done quite simply, but some people need to be rejected abruptly and in any way so that they lose their desire to come to you next time to borrow money. Usually these are people who often borrow money. Their main problem is that they simply do not know how to manage them and spend much more than they earn. The fact is that for such people to spend more than they earn, this is the norm. Therefore, from month to month they collect new debts. They can return them from salary or advance payment upon admission Money. But then, after a quick spending of the salary, they borrow money again. To prevent this from happening, simply refuse people.

Several ways to opt out:

Say that you also wanted to borrow today, because you spent a lot on holidays and birthdays of your relatives.
Say that you started repairs and tomorrow you are going to buy building materials, so you don’t have money.
It is necessary to repay the loan or return the amount of money taken as collateral. You are going to do it tomorrow, so you cannot borrow money today.
All the money is from the spouse, and it is difficult to beg from him or her.
Say that you are going to travel to another country, so you yourself need the money.
Say that you are going to buy an expensive fur coat or Jewelry his wife, so no money.
Remind if this person has already taken money from you, but did not return it. Tell him that you will not give him until he returns the previous amount of money borrowed.

How not to offend a person? There are several ways to help you maintain a good relationship with a friend or relative, and at the same time refuse to give him a loan.

Say that you can borrow money from a certain bank. Advise a specific bank that lends money at a low percentage.
Say that you would be happy to borrow, but only now you yourself are really bad with money, so there is no way to lend.
Offer the person help. For example, take him somewhere if he asks for money for a taxi, or give him groceries. Purchase a minimum of groceries or offer assistance with purchasing. Usually, eternal debtors who constantly borrow money want to get their hands on cash. Therefore, they reject all offers, such as how to give a lift or help with products.
Advise a person on a site or an additional part-time job where you can take money immediately after doing some work.

A colleague constantly asks for help - how to politely and correctly refuse: examples of polite forms of refusal

There is a proverb that initiative is punishable. Quite often, people who help their co-workers at work are the most tired and do the most tasks. And not always those that were given to them.

Opt-out options:

If you do not want to constantly do work for someone, learn to refuse. If a work colleague constantly asks you for help, do not abruptly refuse. Do it gently, say what you think or refuse in such a way that a colleague wants to feel sorry for you. Say that you have a lot of work today, you have a monthly report hanging on you, and you are likely to stay after work in the office to complete the assigned work.
In addition, you can say that you took time off today, so you are interested in completing the work as soon as possible. Therefore, you cannot help, tell a work colleague that you have a lot of things to do today, since you didn’t finish it yesterday because you left earlier, I’m taking time off from work. Today you have a complete blockage and you will not be able to help in any way.
Learn to say NO, because many people do not properly allocate working hours. They often pass on their work to others. If you refuse several times, then most likely they will no longer ask for help. This will help free you from doing someone else's work.

In order not to offend a person, follow certain rules:

Answer quickly. You don't have to wait until later to answer.
Try to explain the reason for the refusal. In no case do not make excuses, just tell that you have a busy schedule and you are unable to do someone else's work.
Offer something in return. You can direct a colleague to a specific resource or reset the report form you completed last month. Perhaps this will somehow help a colleague.

Be sure to complete your answer with the following phrases:

Unfortunately

I'm sorry that I can't

Thanks for asking me for help

It's a pleasure to work with you, but unfortunately I can't help you.

I really like to help you, but unfortunately this time I will not be able to

A friend constantly asks for help - how to gently and tactfully refuse: examples of polite forms of refusal

Many of the friends like to keep their girlfriends near them, who never refuse and try to help as much as possible. This is very convenient, but very often, if such people are refused, then the friendship comes to an end. Because they are selfish people. If you are tired of fulfilling constant requests, and as a reward to receive friendship, you can correctly refuse. After several rejections, a person will not want to be friends with you. If he is not a true friend, but uses you, then in this way you will get rid of a friend who is annoying you and you spend a huge amount of time and effort on such friendship.

If a person is really dear to you, you do not want to offend him, try to politely explain why you are refusing him.

I can't help you today because I'm busy tonight
I have plans next week, so I won't be able to go to the party with you.

If a friend asks you to take some thing to wear, say that you have washed it or that it has torn from you. But in this case, you will no longer have to wear it with a friend. You can also gently refuse if a friend asks you for some jewelry, or some of the things, a clutch, a bag. Say that you yourself are going to wear this jewelry today, so you cannot let it be worn.

How to correctly refuse a trip without offending a person?

Many company employees work with clients and spend most of their working time at meetings, as well as over a cup of coffee, discussing work issues. If for some reason you cannot come, or you think that this client will be useless to you, will not be able to use your services, you can politely refuse. In this case, it is necessary to say that you have a high workload and you will not be able to come. If, nevertheless, you think that in the future this person may become your potential client, write a few questions and ask the person to answer these questions, motivate by the fact that you want to better understand and explain what you do, what you are interested in.

If this is some kind of business trip, and the management did not find anyone better than to send you on this trip, and for some reason you do not want to go, you can correctly refuse. It is quite difficult to say no to management, but it is possible.

Options:

Motivate this by the fact that you have children and there will be no one to pick them up from school or kindergarten.
Tell them that your parents are sick and need to be looked after. You visit them daily.
Remind your manager that he instructed you to complete the report by the end of the week, and unfortunately you will not be able to go on a business trip because of this report.
You can cancel the trip if you do not have a passport or it is expired. This will work if you are sent to another country.
If the company pays travel allowance after the trip, explain that you don't have extra money. You need to pay a loan or mortgage, you spent all the money. Therefore, you do not have extra money for the trip.

How beautiful, inoffensive, intelligent it is to refuse people their requests: tips, recommendations, examples

Of course, very often, after rejections, people do not want to communicate, or reduce possible communication. But you should not be upset, because you will have really good friends and decent acquaintances who are used to not using people, but to be friends with them. You should not refuse sharply enough if you feel sympathy for a person and plan to communicate with him. Try to be as correct as possible, benevolent, ask for forgiveness. Say that, unfortunately, due to financial difficulties, you cannot lend often.

Ask for forgiveness, and also say that you value communication with this person. If this is your good colleague who really often helps you, but due to circumstances you cannot help him, explain the situation. Say that you value his help, knowledge and would be happy to help, but unfortunately, in this situation you cannot do this.

Here are a few phrases to help you mitigate rejection:

I see that it is not easy for you, but unfortunately I cannot solve your problem.
I'm sorry this happened, but unfortunately I can't help.
I really want to help you, but I can’t, because I have planned dinner with my loved one for tomorrow.
Unfortunately, I am not able to say yes right now, because I will be busy at the weekend.
I need to think, I can say later.

The last refusal option is only suitable for people who are waiting for an answer now. They cannot wait, so in the evening or the next day they simply will not apply. You can refuse using a compromise.

For example:

I will help you if you help me.
I'll help you make your presentation, but only on Saturday from 10:00 to 12:00. That time will be free for me.

You can also refuse diplomatically. Diplomats usually never say yes or no. They say: let's talk about it or discuss it.

For example, do not refuse abruptly, but tell me I can help you in some other way. Unfortunately, I can't help you right now, but I have an acquaintance or friend who might want to help you.

As you can see, refusing a person is quite simple. The main task is not to offend him. If you are interested in friendship, in communication with this person, try to refuse as politely as possible, or offer something in return. It is possible to offer your help in some other way.

VIDEO: How to politely refuse?

Saying goodbye is a real art. It is especially difficult to say “no” to those on whom work, career, earnings depend. How to make sure that rejection not only does not damage relationships at work, but also strengthens them?

Logistics specialist Margarita Krylova suffers from her own inability to say “no”: “Even at school, everyone who was not lazy was writing off from me. I constantly remained on duty or carried out instructions from the class teacher.

Now Margarita is being exploited at work. If you need to go out on a day off, call her. On negotiations with absurd clients - she too. In addition, she insures colleagues who are late for work, trains newcomers and answers calls in the absence of an office manager. “I curse both my bosses and my colleagues to myself, but I’m afraid to say “no” out loud. Because I have such a good reputation. And the boss appreciates me, and my colleagues, ”Ms. Krylova justifies herself and continues to be torn apart.

To be or not to be

In order to understand which requests are worth fulfilling and which ones should be subject to a categorical veto, one must answer (first of all, oneself) a few questions.

The first question is: who needs it? If the work of the entire company depends on whether the request is fulfilled or not, it is definitely worth doing. Even if it's not your responsibility. In particular, this applies to situations where a company has a chance to get an important client, win a tender, or, conversely, risk losing a large amount of money. The authorities, as a rule, do not forget those who did not fail in difficult times.

Question two: "Can I refuse the one who asks?". In some companies, requests from superiors are not discussed. Although in this case it is not clear why they are called requests.

Question three: “what will I get by fulfilling the request?” / “what will I lose by not fulfilling the request?”. As already mentioned, a person who is ready to meet others halfway receives a lot of good things because of his reliability - gratitude, trust and, importantly, the opportunity to voice a counter request. And, on the contrary, ruthlessly and categorically refusing to neighbors, a person loses a good attitude towards himself. If the employee does not get any of the above "carrots" from the applicant (or is not needed), you can safely refuse.

And the fourth question, the answer to which can cross out all the previous ones: “what will I lose by fulfilling the request?”. If the quality of the performance of one's own duties, personal money, health, family or freedom is at stake, it is worth finding the correct way to refuse.

Psychologists identify two main mistakes of those who refuse: an overly veiled “no” and an unreasoned refusal.

In the first case, a misunderstanding may arise, and the asker will decide that he was answered with consent. The best way to refuse a request - to honestly say "I will not do this." So that the asker does not have illusions and false hopes.

For especially reverent persons, it is also worth reporting the motive for your refusal. Explain that this is not personal, but only a desire to do your job well. For if you do the work of others, who will do yours?

An unreasoned refusal gives the applicant the impression that he is being refused just like that. And this can lead to conflict. If the boss turns out to be asking, the emphasis in the argument should be on the good of the company. This not only smooths out the refusal, but also characterizes the “refusenik” as a professional.

If a colleague makes a request, it is better to honestly state the reason for the refusal. Of course, if it is strong enough and there is no reason to hide it (say, we are not talking about something deeply personal or about third parties). In some cases, it is safer to shift the responsibility for the refusal to another (“the boss filled me up with work”). And even better on the circumstances (“I won’t be able to replace you tomorrow - I won’t be in the city”). At the same time, it will not be superfluous to lament on this score, so that the asker does not have any doubts that he is being refused not of his own free will.

"I'd love to, but..."

One of the win-win options, if the boss is the petitioner, is to show your work plan for the near future and invite the boss to independently determine to the detriment of what the request will be fulfilled. If this technique does not work, suggest to the leader the candidacies of those to whom this can be delegated.

There is a general method called "terry formalism". As part of this method, orders from superiors are accepted and issued only in writing and with the signature: yes, I will, but please draw up the appropriate order. In this case, the bosses prefer to give the task to someone else, rather than bother compiling such pieces of paper. True, it is better to apply this method in large and bureaucratic structures.

Do not refuse, Mr. Chief

Inconvenient requests are faced not only by subordinates who are pestered by superiors, but also by managers who are approached by employees. Should I refuse in this case?

If a subordinate came with a delicate issue or a serious problem, then he is asking to take part in his affairs, not the manager personally, but the company in which they both work. In such a situation, it is better to meet the requester and get an extremely loyal employee. If the manager, for one reason or another, cannot fulfill the request of the subordinate, you can use the tactic "it does not depend on me." At the same time, the boss does not refuse, but tells the ward that he should consult with higher authorities. And some time later, with chagrin, he reports that "he himself would gladly agree, but the authorities disagree."

In any case, it is advisable for the boss to avoid conflict situations and, moreover, to refuse politely. Especially if a valuable specialist comes with a request. Even if in the end he will have to hear a refusal, it is better to voice it after strong arguments and a few laudatory phrases: “We really appreciate you”, “Your contribution to the work of the company is significant” ...

Lastly, general advice. Whoever and under what circumstances would not have to refuse, for starters, you should put yourself in the place of the one asking and look at the situation from his bell tower. In this case, even a categorical “no” will sound as polite and inoffensive as possible.

The main mistakes that "refuseniks" make:

Rejection too aggressively
Rushing to say "no" instead of preparing the asker for rejection
Don't justify rejection
They don't offer an alternative
Denial too veiled

Acceptable opt-out methods

Be honest about the reason for the rejection
« Unfortunately, I won't be able to do it because…”
Suggest an alternative
“Today I have absolutely no time, but I think I can fulfill your request tomorrow”
Complain about the lack of knowledge/skills/competence/powers necessary to fulfill the request
“It is unlikely that the company will get the desired result if I, an engineer of the third category, will be the interpreter at the negotiations”, “According to job description, I do not have the authority to perform these functions"
Transfer responsibility for refusal to a third party/circumstances
“I would love to, but my immediate supervisor does not approve of this”, “I would be happy to leave my vacation earlier, but the ticket office does not want to change my tickets”

TOTAL: Before voicing a refusal, it is worth considering whether it is better to fulfill the request. If the decision is made, the refusal should be reasoned, polite, but categorical.