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Does love only last three years?
If you believe the common phrase, then love lives only three years. Someone justifies their unsuccessful (sometimes failed over and over again) relationship by this, someone sincerely hopes that this is not so, waiting in fear for a three-year milestone, someone proves with his whole life that this is not so. So how many years does love live, and is it possible to extend this period?
If we consider the phenomenon of love and falling in love exclusively from the point of view of physiology, then the thesis of a three-year life span has its own truth. The basis of attraction and love are neurotransmitters and phenylethylamine, they act on a person for about three years. Nature is so laid down that this period should be enough to meet, like, get pregnant, endure, give birth and let a new person survive. During these three years, physiology has been working to keep dad close to mom. Therefore, in fairness, it is worth saying that he lives for three years. Because love is a feeling, which is based not only and not so much on physiology, but on the conscious choice and desires of a particular person.
Everything in our life is based on choice. It would be more correct to say, on a reasonable choice, however, many prefer to act not on the basis of reason, but on the basis of momentary emotions, other people's advice, patterns imposed by society, etc. But in any case, every decision is based on choice. In this case, the choice sounds like this: "I choose this person or not." It is your choice that will ultimately determine how long your love will live.
If every day, every hour you do not choose your partner, your relationship may exist for some time under the influence of passion, mutual sexual attraction due to physiological processes, but as soon as they stop, your love will also go away. If during this time you have not built anything, have not invested, then nothing will remain.
Relationships are work, sometimes very hard work. Unfortunately, for many years they have been waiting for someone with whom it will be easy and hassle-free, “narrowed”, destined by fate, firmly believing that everything will happen by itself with the “right” person. But while waiting for someone unknown, we, unfortunately, often miss the wonderful people who are now next to us, or will, or have already left without waiting for reciprocity.
If you choose life with your partner, then you choose compromise, respect, care, attention and affection. All these factors are cumulatively stronger than physiology and passion. And when the desire to compromise, to show respect and care is mutual, love will live a lifetime.
With this in mind, you can also deduce the secret of longevity in love: the more you invest in your love, the longer it will live. There is a very good expression that you should not envy happy couples, they went through the same difficulties, but did not break. Overcome difficulties, and do not run from them, take care of each other, respect each other, and your love will always be with you.
Well, it’s necessary ... that’s true, live forever, learn ... Well, that’s for sure ...
Don't fool yourself with false love. The fact is that in our life we fall in love three times, but each time we think that this is for real and forever. However, everything is not so simple, and you still have to go through three different experiences in order to understand yourself and become yourself.
1. First love 
This is your first love when you are very young. You have butterflies in your stomach, you feel dizzy, and the earth floats under your feet. It seems to you that this is the very one - the only, real, genuine and unique love, and there will be no other like it. You are right about one thing - there will not be another like it, because she is the first. This is just your "test of the pen", so to speak.
2. Complicated love 
Your second love and second experience is hard love. She brings you a lot of lessons and shows you things that you never knew or suspected. It's love that hurts. A love that suffers in the hope that everything will change. The love we tell ourselves that it's worthless if we don't fight for it, just to convince ourselves that we're not wasting our time. This love, which has extreme ups and downs, and being at the bottom, we still dream of soaring again. This love becomes a roller coaster where we risk breaking our necks. And this is the kind of love that we can then hate.
3. Unexpected love 
This is love that comes from nowhere. The love you don't expect at all. Love that changes your whole understanding of love, but then, looking back, you can no longer think of it differently. You cannot explain to yourself where it came from and how it originated. You cannot explain the feelings that imperceptibly grow within you, but at the same time, all this has great meaning and great value. This is the kind of love where everything just fits perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle. You no longer have to try to be someone you are not. There is no more pressure and tension. And this is not at all the love that you were waiting for - in fact, it is much better!
Sometimes we really need those first and second loves in order to really appreciate and understand the third love. After all, every person in our life is either a gift or a lesson.
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